Unbetitelt

[theusualshit]

I wish I could fall in love

[theusualshit]

growing up

Push down one, 

you are trying

Push down two,

you get something out

Push down three

you are suffocating

Push down four,

you are dying 

[theusualshit]

becoming a bulimic

Push them down your throat the first time, my beautiful, dear darling

it’s nothing

Push them down the second time, my dear darling

it’s a tragedy

Push in the third time, my darling

it’s disgusting

The fifth time, darling

you’re a bitch

Then,

you’re a a bulimic

[theusualshit]

kontrollverLust

Drowning the voices in me. Drown them in myself.

Drowning in my self. Till I’m empty.

Till there's nothing left of me.

And then...

FILLING THE HOLE FILLING THE EMPTINESS

that I have just created.

KILLING HER KILLING ME

WHEN I GO DOWN I TAKE HER WITH ME

or is she taking me with her?

like a child

Take me by the hand

take me away from them

protecting

isolating

punishing

loving

killing.

[theusualshit]

Left alone

You took it from me

You ripped it out of me

Not in one swift motion

But slowly

Without me noticing it

at first

A pain

one couldn’t describe

because one

didn’t notice

until 

it was 

too

late

I did not suffer the pain of removing 

I felt it way too late

a kind of phantom pain 

in no ones fault

And now there is a hole

gaping

hungry

unforgiving

It wants to be fed

on you

on me

It wants to devour 

you ...

me 

I want to devour ...

me

I want to be left alone 

with it

I want to bel left alone

with me 

[theusualshit]

I guess I'll always come back to you

[theusualshit]

Me with my body: lets open that wound over again and get it infected....

My therspist with my soul : lets get this wound open again so we can heal it

Me: NO

[charaar]

i haven’t been cleaning my blades like at all but like... if i die i die 😗✌️

[lonelylostthot]

Taking your antidepressants with vodka is the new move

[theusualshit]

I mean I could add another one...

[theusualshit]

Being drunk by myself was more fun when there were no quatantine

Kinda weird I know

[zarathustra-would-be-proud]

[evil-comix]

[theusualshit]

The reason Why I'm an alcoholic isn't because of how I feel when I'm drunk ... its because of how I feel when I'm sober...

[dissociatingsadboy]

Fuck sakes I'm absolutely hammered right now, what do you mean I haven't cured my depression yet? Do I need to drink more? What's the fucking secret?

[theusualshit]

Nothings more beautifull ... and cruell than to be drunk during day light

[theusualshit]

I wish for everybodys best

But for me