Not today Justin
d e v o n
Cosmic Funnies
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
Discoholic 🪩
Keni
Xuebing Du
One Nice Bug Per Day
Acquired Stardust
i don't do bad sauce passes
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noise dept.
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Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Mike Driver
almost home
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
roma★
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@thewantinglife
Idk why I expected the american highway to feel different maybe it’s all the romanticism about it and the way it’s represented as a physical manifestation of every core american ideal and value but I’m slightly disappointed that it feels just like any other highway in any other country
imagine being reggie. you help this guy who has had many a gay experience in various timelines finally realize hes bisexual for real and then the following year hes like yeah thanks. for that. im going to date all of my friends except you. now
It’s funny I always looked forward to moving out and living somewhere new and being independent and when I was younger I’d actually wish I could skip ahead in life to being in my 20s in a new city away from my family with my own apartment and now I’m here and there’s a hole in my heart and I haven’t been eating enough and I miss my mom and I just want someone to make me breakfast and pack my lunch and hold my hand crossing the street and take me to the zoo on the weekend
Evil is a relay sport when the one who's burned turns to pass the torch
starting a pasta war
spaghetti
penne
lasagna
cannelloni
gnocci
farfalle
spirals
other
I don’t like pasta
first base is martyrdom. second base is raising the other from the dead. third base is eye contact
BEING A LIST OF THE THIRTEEN GREATEST RIVERDALE LINES, ON THE OCCASION OF THAT SHOW'S TERMINATION
As our much loved/hated show comes to an end, I feel compelled to record, for posterity, the greatest thirteen pieces of dialogue to spring from the pens of RAS and his henchmen. It was, of course, originally a top ten list, but I simply could not exclude a few of these treasures. Without further ado:
13.
“I dropped out in the 4th grade, to sell drugs, to support my nana.”
“That means you haven't known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school football.”
Spoken by: an inmate of Leopold and Loeb Juvenile Detention Center, and Archie Andrews.
In: 3 x 2
Yeah, okay, this one had to be on the list. It’s funny, I’ll admit. It’s a great example of the overwrought semi-sincere melodrama that helped make this show so special. It’s low on the list largely because The Normies got their hands on it, so every time I hear someone make a reference I get all “do not cite the deep magic to me, witch.”
12.
“No! No! What are we supposed to do now? I’m horny as heck!”
Spoken by: Archie Andrews
In: 7 x 16
Season 7 is undeniably dreadful, and yet there are diamonds in the rough. The occasion is the failure of a projector, just as Archie and Reggie prepare to watch a pornographic film. The utter desperation with which KJ Apa delivers this line is exquisite. One is made to feel they are witnessing a genuine tragedy.
11.
“Tonight, they’re making an exception and debuting a cover of the song my parents claim they were listening to the night Jason and I were conceived.”
Spoken by: Cheryl Blossom.
In: 1 x 1
Really a fantastic line. A wonderful encapsulation of the casual absurdity of Cheryl’s character, and a foretaste of the lunacy we would plumb in later episodes and seasons.
10.
“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t fit in and I don’t want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.”
Spoken by: Jughead Jones
In: 1 x 10
A genuine classic. “High school football” before “high school football.” One is never entirely sure just how sincere the line is meant to be, both on a meta-level and in-universe. A perfect illumination of Jughead’s pretentiousness. It is made all the better by the occasional cuts to Lili Reinhard’s agonized face.
9.
“At the last dance, multiple students were murdered.”
Spoken by: Principal Holden Honey.
In: 4 x 2
Delivered as an explanation to Toni and Cheryl, as to why there would be no school dance this year. Principal Honey is in fact supremely rational in the cancellation of this dance. This being Riverdale, he is of course treated as an unreasonable tyrant.
8.
“Bro, I know all the secrets of this universe.”
Spoken by: Archie Andrews (evil version)
In: 6 x 5
Spoken as evil Archie reveals his evil plan to keep the parallel universes apart. KJ Apa’s delivery once again makes this line. He is comically sinister. Strangely, he sells it.
7.
“A Vughead kiss, right now, in the present might be precisely what it takes to save a future Bughead from imploding.”
Spoken by: Jughead Jones.
In: 2 x 14
One of those lines that both makes me laugh and makes me genuinely angry. This was a fairly early season, and this may have actually been the first line to get me asking, ‘did they genuinely write and deliver that?’ Extra points for use of the atrocious ‘Vughead’ portmanteau ship name rather than ‘Jeronica.’
6.
“I’m the ultimate wild card. I am the daughter of The Black Hood. The nightmare from next door. I’m training with the FBI and I’m coming for you, you psycho bitch.”
Spoken by: Betty Cooper
In: 4 x 14
Just delicious. Another one of those lines that leaves you somewhat unsure whether or not the writers understood how genuinely hysterical it was. “The Nightmare from Next Door” sounds like an announcer hyping up a wrestler. Spoken with a raw sincerity by Lili Reinhart. Also points for the heavy homoeroticism between Betty and Donna.
5.
“For I am Cheryl Blossom, Queen of the Bees.”
Spoken by: Cheryl Blossom.
In: 5 x 16.
This one really doesn’t require any elaboration.
4.
“Elijah ascended…and I will, too.”
Spoken by: Edgar Evernever.
In: 4 x 5.
Admittedly, this one is only spectacular with context. But in context—the context being that Chad Michael Murray delivers this line while dressed like Evel Knievel and standing in a cartoon rocket right out of a Warner Bros cartoon—it becomes utterly magnificent.
3.
“It’s not queer baiting, it’s saving the world.”
Spoken by: Veronica Lodge.
In: 6 x 22.
It’s actually hard for me to decide whether this one is funnier with or without context. Without context it’s wonderful, but it possibly becomes even funnier when you know that the context is that Veronica needs to kiss Cheryl to transfer superpowers into her body so she can turn into a Scarlet Witch knock-off and stop a magic comet summoned by Sephiroth an English wizard who is also the Devil.
2.
“If there’s no wedding reception, it means the Gargoyle King has won.”
Spoken by: Kevin Keller.
In: 3 x 12.
One of my personal favorites. This is a perfect line because like #3, it requires no real elaboration. There is absolutely no context in which it isn’t hysterical.
1 .
“Word of my exploits serving Nick his comeuppance has seeped into the demimonde of mobsters and molls my father used to associate with, so the five families are sending their youngest and brightest, their ‘princes,’ as it were to, well, come court the rare Mafia Princess who can belly up to the bar with the big boys.
Spoken by: Veronica Lodge.
In: 2 x 20.
This is, in my opinion, the all-timer. Every word is perfect. The rapid-fire alliteration. The use of the word ‘demimonde.’ The entirely unnecessary addition of ‘as it were.’ This is borderline Dr. Seuss. The fact that Camila Mendes delivered it without cracking a smile should have won her an Emmy. No. An Oscar. This line is Riverdale.
i unironically love riverdales dialogue. why is it that when succession does unrealistic shakespeare-esque dialogue its treated as an actual stylistic choice but when riverdale does it it must be some wacky writing quirk that cant be taken seriously and is only attributable to poor writing ability. other than the fact that one is riverdale and the other is succession i mean. i love intentionally unrealistic dialogue. the writers knew that nobody uses the word demimonde or alliteration ("mobsters and molls," "belly up to the bar with the big boys") in real life-- anyone who is familiar with the word "demimonde" also knows that its an archaic term from 19th century france-- but using it in veronicas monologue added to the effect of creating a 50s mafia movie/old-school dynastic drama atmosphere inherent to the lodges. im not even here to defend the artistic value of riverdale i just get really passionate about defending "unrealistic" dialogue because it can be such an interesting stylistic choice and the point of fiction isnt to create a world identical to reality
God I have a proper crush for the first time in yeeeaaars which is super embarrassing in itself not me being 14 but what makes it even worse is that I think I kinda maybe have a chance like I’m getting a VIBE there’s CHEMISTRY but it might also just be in my head and not being able to tell myself “there’s no way she likes you, just move on” is killing me
Vintage 1920s Enigma By Lubin
riverdale is about a boy who can only conceptualize the world through violence (archie) and a girl who can only conceptualize herself through violence (betty) and a girl who can only conceptualize family through violence (veronica) and a girl who can only conceptualize love through violence (cheryl) and jughead who got abducted by aliens. and gay kevin who wants to direct the school musicalllllll
not flirting with anyone anymore pull me toward you by my red string of fate or fuck off
Some girls, Madeleine Morlet
Isabelle Adjani and Niels Arestrup in the theatre production of Miss Julie (1983, Théâtre Edouard, Paris)
Photographed by Daniel Cande
still thinking of this paragraph from what was the girlboss?
recently <3
