upon this ass of thine i'll set my hand

Audrey | 24 | she/he/they

[macklesufficient]

i’m just saying aragorn son of arathorn oh im sorry STRIDER (one of them rangers what his right name is i never heard etc etc) didn’t need to be that sexy at the prancing pony. like ostensibly he’s trying to lay low but even dipshit little [relatively] eighteen y/o frodo is like hey what’s the deal with that extremely ostentatiously sexy man in the corner

[macklesufficient]

“you draw far too much attention to yourself ‘mister underhill’” if i were frodo i wouldve snapped. jesus christ. i can’t help that i’m two feet shorter than everyone else in this definitely definitely 100% a gay bar but at least i didn’t lurk in a sexy corner making eyes at everybody from under my cloak at least im TRYING to pretend i’m not a protagonist you fine ass idiot. i KNOW i’m being pursued by the black riders which is why i didn’t SERVE CUNT from the SHADOWS. the fellowship of the nerve of this bitch

[baldgonia]

[loki-zen]

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?

[hopeless-eccentric]

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

[darkandstormyranger]

finally some relatable content on ig

[digitalmyyth]

Hanging out with people will make you remember you're the crazy woke friend for like. not wanting to shop at shien

[beetroot-merchant]

im not a girl Unless ☝️ im being told to go piss

[kinkyrius]

[toothfairyinc]

never let the fact that you were born a girl stop you from being the gayest man alive

[c3rvida3]

I love the word "jamboree". If I had a daughter I'd name her Jamboree Lynn, and if I had a son, I'd leave him in the woods to be raised by coyotes.

[bananonbinary]

what if he grew up never knowing you were his parent and came back to kill you in a tragic twist of fate tho

[c3rvida3]

happens

[cheaphalloweencostume]

Jamboree Lynn would handle the situation i imagine

[jenny-holzer]

[teathattast]

[auguris]

Has anyone warned @copperbadge yet

[copperbadge]

What a lot of people outside of Chicago may not realize is that The Beans are a native species to this region and right now is baby season! What you're seeing there is probably just an instance of a young mature The Bean being kept in a secure enclosure, probably due to some kind of injury that's being rehabbed.

In urban Chicago around this time of year if you want to go The Bean spotting you mostly just need to keep an eye out around downtown drugstores for formations like this.

I took this picture myself in a Walgreens. As you can see we have a nice healthy-looking family group consisting of a parent The Bean, several juveniles who will often stay with the parent for several years, and some newborns this year who naturally group up protectively near any large sign reading "Chicago".

The Beans are usually extremely docile and can even be kept as pets once the juveniles separate from their family group, since they are low-maintenance and require only a small flat area such as a desk or bookshelf on which to recline. Fun fact, a group of The Beans such as pictured above is known as a Tchochki!

[qin-shi-huang-di]

my god…

[hyperlexichypatia]

Shocking development: in a language and culture where most given names are considered masculine or feminine, some genderqueer and nonbinary people choose given names that seem unusual!

[damazcuz]

[trentreznorsbutthole]

emoji kitchen is lowkey beautiful guys…

[shreekofjoy]

Tybalt (The Shakespeare Character) is named after Tibert (The Prince of Cats), a character from the then popular story Reynard the Fox. Mercutio, in fact, mocks him as 'The Prince of Cats' in reference to this.

Therefore, I propose we name him "Garfield" in all modern retellings of Hamlet

[mightymo63]

Wasn't Tybalt a character in Romeo and Juliet?

[shreekofjoy]

I am stupid.

[erratic-dragon-fruit]

I mean as long as we’re here we should put Garfield in hamlet anyway

[hamletkin]

[butch-king-frankenstein]

We need to start sexualizing the janitor's jumpsuit as the butch equivalent of the maid's uniform

[nationwidedornermoment]

The last of the classically trained tumblrinas