The Wild Waffle

Mostly 'humans are weird' tags and transformers. Mostly. Main blog is thewildwaff1e, so if I respond to stuff with that, it's still me

[thewildwaffle]

The best way to beat the heat is to throw yourself off a cliff and into deathly cold water. Or at least, that's the most human way to do it.

[thewildwaffle]

**Spoilers for Project Hail Mary**

I like to think that once Earth receives the beetles and fixes the sun, they then send another beetle to Erid full of seeds, food, spices, and other care package stuff for Grace.

At that point, they won't know he's still alive, as far as they know, he probably starved to death by then. But Stratt insists they send it anyway. If nothing else, it can be a gift for their newly discovered neighbors, the Eridians. Afterall, what's more friendly than sharing food?

The Eridian scientists study the contents of the care package. It's full of shelf-stable human food that they do their best to clone/replicate for Grace. There are also some seeds that store well for the years of travel they experienced. Radish, lettuce, tomato, beans, etc. (Potatoes would be a great callback to "The Martian")

The Eridians are absolutely delighted to observe Grace grow a little garden of Earth plants. Rocky, Adrian, and any of their kids big enough to fit in xenonite EVA suits help him pollinate plants with little paintbrush-like tools. Grace keeps a few plants in pots so he can easily move them around and show them to his students.

[thewildwaffle]

New Earth Report, brought to you by me watching a video about Storm Chasers, and by people asking for more Earth Reports, lol

[thewildwaffle]

Earth Report 0008 - Storm Chasers

Many stereotypes are regularly applied to humans. Some of these are wildly unfounded, but some are, admittedly, accurate and well-earned. One such stereotype I’d like to address in this report is how humans are considered to be thrill seekers, brave in the face of danger to the point of recklessness. While this is not always true for every human or in every situation, I feel I can confirm the validity of this belief, most especially when the lives of others are “on the line” (see report 0005 for euphemisms and idioms)

There are many examples I could give to back up my stance, many of which I will address in future reports. But as for this entry, I would like to present my findings on an enthusiastic community of humans who call themselves “Storm Chasers.”

By simple definition, storm chasers are humans who actively watch for powerful storms and make a great effort to intercept or otherwise be present during them. Storm chasers are famously associated with tornadoes, but can also chase cyclones, blizzards, ice storms, and other weather phenomena (see Earth Report 0002 for reference about types of Earth weather)

At first glance, this may seem like undue dangerous behaviour from the humans. However, there is a good reason these “chasers” seek out the storms. As summarized in Report 0002, Earth can at times be a frightening world to call home. Those who live on planets not categorized on the “Death World” scale might struggle to grasp the utter helplessness one can feel when faced with uncaring, unstoppable natural forces. There is no reasoning with them. There is no stopping them. There is no way to dodge their effects.

You can, however, prepare. And when it comes to Earth’s terrifying storms, that’s where storm chasers come in.

In my research efforts, I was able to ride along with a storm chaser by the name of Jack Mercer. Jack allowed me to accompany him during an outing in a stretch of land colloquially called “Tornado Alley.” To say I was nervous about going would be a gross understatement. I knew I was possibly risking my life in the name of research.

My worries were lessened slightly when Jack gave me a tour of his specialized storm chasing vehicle. It was a heavy-duty truck (see report 0003 about common means of transportation) outfitted with steel armor, bulletproof glass, a rather impressive hydraulic system, satellite sensors, a rocket launcher, and my personal favorite: safety harnesses.

My worries were right back and strong as ever when we saw our first funnel cloud. It did not make contact with the ground and thus couldn’t officially be considered a tornado, but Jack tracked its movements closely as there was a small cluster of homes near its projected path. The power of the wind was impressive, but thankfully, the truck powered through, seemingly unbothered, as Jack collected and recorded data.

The next funnel did touch down, and all my worries from before seemed very justified. It was truly stunning and terrifying how much devastation the tornado was capable of. Trees were torn up from the roots, buildings were ripped apart, debris of all shapes and sizes was spun around, and launched out of sight. All by the wind. Wind like I had never seen before, and would not believe possible on a habitable planet if I had not seen it with my own eyes.

Jack assured me the area had, thankfully, been previously evacuated. Why humans would choose to live where these conditions are common is something I suppose is my job to find out. When it was clear we would intercept the tornado's path, Jack lowered the truck as far as it would go and deployed hydraulic spikes to anchor us to the ground. He was able to deploy instrument pods to collect data from within the vortex itself, with us in the truck.

Before I knew it, but also after, it felt like an eternity at the same time, the tornado passed by, shrunk, and dissipated. We survived.

At this point, the question many may wonder is why? Chasers have been killed by the very storms they pursue. Why would Jack and so many other humans put themselves in such a dangerous situation? The answer: because they hope to make the storms less dangerous. As I stated before, natural forces such as these cannot be stopped, but they can be prepared for. The data Jack and other storm chasers collect is vital for accurate weather forecasting and warnings. Because of the work of past storm chasers, meteorologists can better predict the dangerous conditions, and evacuations are made beforehand. Lives are saved.

What was surprising to me to learn later was that Jack, as well as most storm chasers, is not a professional. They do not get paid to risk their lives for retrieving this vital storm information. There are a scarce few that can make a career out of storm chasing through recordings, tourism, or academia, but the vast majority of them chase storms as a hobby! A hobby! Most humans have hobbies like sports, art, music, blowing things up, or puzzles. But chasing the deadly elements of their home world?!

Again, why? Answering that question is, in part, why I am compiling this report. Humans are wildly varied and full of surprises. It is good that they have a few who seek the thrill of hunting the dangerous. Their bravery while facing down the unforgiving forces of their home world and of worlds beyond saves lives.

[thewildwaffle]

Wheels on Feet

The crowd erupted into cheers and laughter. Blin gave a cursory glance from the crystal bowl of jellied frillin fruit in his hands to the poor souls scrambling around on the arena floor below with wheeled platforms strapped to the soles of their feet. He had to admit, the game masters had been creative with this show today. They always were. It was what kept crowds as large as these coming.

Blin popped an especially large fruit into his mouth and leaned back. Unlike the general seating, the VIP viewing box had large comfortable loungers that one could nearly sprawl out in while they watched the show with a great view.

“Would you mind handing me one of those before you eat them all?” Maulk held out an arm expectantly, the lights of the viewing box reflecting off shiny yellow scales.

Blin snorted. “What? Did you already eat your entire bowl?”

“Two, actually. Just the perks of being close with the arena’s owners and having them owe you a favor. Now hand over that dark purple frillin, it looks delicious.”

Blin reluctantly parted with the tasty morsel. Normally, he would have put up more of a fight, but Maulk got annoying if not put in check now and again, but he was feeling generous. Maulk could have invited anyone along for the day, and yet chose Blin. The least he could do was share some treats. (Even if they were the most delicious and expensive thing he’d probably ever eaten.)

“I hope the owners don’t owe you favors too often,” Blin carefully handed over the fruit, “at this rate, you’ll probably rot the teeth out of your skull.”

“Not too often,” Maulk agreed and immediately took a bite. “Although I was able to attend last week’s games, and they didn’t have any frillin, but I did get a whole cattale loaf to myself.”

Blin’s eyes closed, and his mouth watered. A whole cattale loaf? He took another bite of his fruit, which helped curb his momentary jealousy.

“What games did they have going last week?”

Maulk grinned. “It was a race, but the game masters had their legs tied together beforehand! They had obstacles and everything!”

Blin did his best not to spit out the frillin fruit. “That's hilarious! Wait, what if they were bipedal? Did they just hop around?” He gestured up and down with his hands, imagining them to be the racers, and chuckled.

“No, they sent out two at a time with one leg tied to the other’s.”

“Huh. That doesn't sound quite fair.”

Maulk shook his head. “It doesn't have to be fair; it was hysterical!”

Blin nodded. It was true. The arena games weren’t concerned with what was fair, but more with what was entertaining. That’s what brought in crowds, and crowds brought in money. The sound of applause and laughter pulled the friends’ attentions back to the arena floor. A new bipedal participant was being added to the arena. They were pushed out of the holding gate and stumbled a few steps before falling. Oh, this was going to be good. Blin sat up a little to get a better look.

It was a human. You didn’t see one of those around these parts very often. He’d heard lots of stories, seen plenty of reports, and had even seen a few ever so briefly in passing, but this was the first he’d ever really seen in action with his own eyes. They had only two legs, no tail, no wings, nothing to help them balance as they got back to their feet and tried to move around with the wheels strapped to them. This was going to be hilarious!

A new song started playing over the speakers, though it was hard to notice at first over all the laughter. It was bouncy and had a good beat. Maulk started bobbing his head to it a bit as he started nibbling on another fruit.

The human had managed to clamber back to their feet and took a few cautious steps, which made them roll and stumble. This time, however, they did not fall, but swung their arms around wildly to try to balance.

“Oh my stars!” Maulk laughed, “Whoever thought of this needs a raise! Look at them! Haha! Look at them go!”

The pair watched with huge smiles as the human started wheeling their way across the arena.

“Oh,” Maulk sounded a bit confused, “actually, yeah, look at them go. They’re getting pretty good at this really quickly.”

Blin had to agree. He wasn’t sure he could believe what he was seeing, but the human was getting rapidly more confident on their wheeled feet and was really booking it along the arena floor. Their steps started to look like a back-and-forth dance that pushed them forward with impressive speed. As they approached a pile-up of fallen fellow competitors, they easily skated around and started turning back once they began approaching the far wall. It was smooth. It was getting more and more graceful. What’s more, it was even keeping its steps in time with the beat of the song, which Blin could hear much better now that all the laughter had died down into shocked murmurs among the crowd.

Soon, the human’s movements were more than just graceful; it was a straight-up dance! Once the human reached the middle of the arena, they picked up speed and, with a flourish, jumped into the air, spun a complete rotation, and landed again to continue on at the same speed.

The crowd absolutely lost it! Blin had never heard a roar so loud. Though to be fair, he’d never seen a performance so unexpected and delightful! He dropped his remaining jellied fruit as he jumped to his feet to run to the barrier of the viewing box to get a better look.

The human ended up doing several more jump spins, some sharp turns, and lots of fancy footwork. It was the best show of the night, possibly the best show ever! Even once the song ended and arena crew and guards came in to clear the other participants who were still struggling to stay on their feet, they couldn’t catch the human, who seemed to be having so much fun with the wheels on their feet that they didn’t want to stop! Another song started, and thus so did another dance performance. The arena crew looked up to a windowed booth where the gamekeepers managed the activities. They must have received some sort of answer because the crew shrugged and went back to ushering the other participants out.

“Are they new?” Blin asked, not taking his eyes off the still-performing human.

“Must be,” Maulk’s voice was just as level and mesmerized as he stared. “They weren’t here last week.” He shook his head and laughed. “Although, could you imagine if they had been? Two humans with their legs tied together for a race?”

Blin had to laugh as well at the mental image. “Something tells me they’d probably figure it out pretty quick and end up stealing the show again.” The pair laughed at the thought. Blin looked down at his now nearly empty bowl and grinned. Humans with their legs tied together? How he wished he could afford tickets to the arena more often! Maybe he could convince Maulk to bring him along again if the arena owners owe him another favor? Hopefully. Especially if humans were going to be regular participants. The human down on the floor did another graceful spin. They sure seem to enjoy the spotlight!

[thewildwaffle]

I started this over 3 years ago. After 2 babies, lots of creative blocks, and late nights working on this, it's DONE! This is my longest video so far and one of my favorite humans are weird stories I've written

[thewildwaffle]

I’ve actually had this question for a solid few. Are the species locked or are they open for oc-making? I’ve had my eyes locked onto the booka species. Been wanting to make an oc about one. But I figured actually asking the creator of the works is better.

If I can (or can’t). Can I hug one too? :3

If you, or anyone, wants to make an oc from any of my works, I honestly would feel so hyped about it! You love bookas so much that you want to make your own? I love it! Want to make art or write something based off something from my stories? I would be honored if you would share them when you do.

And yes, they're all huggable too (though I'm not sure all would appreciate that close of physical contact, lol)

[thewildwaffle]

Holidays with Humans!

[thewildwaffle]

I have a Ko-Fi now

I had a few people ask me in YouTube comments if I have a Patreon, but I don't think I'm at a point where I could reasonably run one, nor am I in a place where I can guarantee that I will be able to post new videos or stories super regularly just yet. So, I've created a Ko-Fi for anyone who wants to support my videos or writing like a tip jar!

Support theWildWaffle

Support theWildWaffle

[thewildwaffle]

Earth Report 0071 - Diabetes

[thewildwaffle]

Indeed! And to you!

[thewildwaffle]

When your ship has ghosts, scaring off your crew. Who ya gonna call?

[thewildwaffle]

Cold and Flu Season

Title: Video Diary of Doctor Wakair Entry Date: 14-6-021-8875 Ship: ESS Glenwen

*Audio transcription: ... So there’s this thing back on the human homeworld called “Cold and Flu Season,” right? It’s a period of time of the year when humans are more likely to get sick with illnesses known as the “common cold” and “the flu.” It tends to happen more when the seasons start to change from warm to cold. Honestly, it’s an interesting naming choice from the humans, they’re like, “Oh it’s cold and I am sick.” “Oh? Sick with what?” “Uh, sick with the cold. I have been infected by cold.” If you didn’t already know this, humans are very hit and miss with creativity in naming conventions.

Anyway, Cold and Flu Season. It happens when cold weather arrives, which can weaken immune systems. Many humans don’t mind the cold, but they will spend more time inside, which can increase spread of infections. Also the lower temps typically bring lower humidity levels, which not only irritate the humans’ airways when they breathe, but also provides an environment that allows the viruses that cause cold and flu to be transmitted.

Now, you may be saying, “Dr. Wakair, that’s on the human homeworld, though. You work on a climate-controlled Gee-10 Star Cruiser. Why would you be concerned about the humans on your crew having a cold or flu season?” To which I would say, “Exactly. That’s what I thought too.”

And yet, here I am with an entire wing of the med bay in quarantine because all but two of the humans aboard this ship are sick. Come here. Let me tell you a little something about the human immune system. It is a juggernaut. Usually. There are two main branches of defense: the innate and the adaptive systems. The innate happens first and responds to all germs and foreign infections the same way, by attacking. If that fails, the adaptive system steps in and specifically identifies the threat, catalogs it, kills it, and then remembers it so the next time it can react even faster.

Now this is not entirely unique among the galactic community, but two of the many things that make the human immune system so impressive are 1- the adaptability, and 2- the extreme measures.

For reason 1, you may know that a majority of species have a few types of environments they like to live in. Usually, the ones they are adapted to best. I mean, you'd be hard-pressed to get a squifra to willingly move to the Bright Desert on Mingui 3. Or convince an akeno to take up residency at a research station in the glacial cliffs of Plenthas Kar. But humans? They’re adapted to open grasslands, but they’ll go anywhere. And I mean ANYWHERE. Humid rainforests? Humans. Frozen mountains? Humans. Predator-infested swamps? Humans. Active volcanoes? Humans love those! Especially if those volcanoes are tropical islands.

What all this means is that humans get around. They put themselves in situations they are not built for and expose themselves to diseases they normally never come in contact with. But they do. They adapt. Their immune systems remember. They become stronger. They become immune, or at least resistant, to an insane amount of otherwise deadly diseases.

Now for reason 2, human immune systems are not afraid to take drastic measures. Take, for instance, the humans in my care right now who are sick with a common variant of an influenza virus. One of their symptoms is a fever, an innate immune response. Basically, the body’s temperature rises to increase the production of white blood cells, various proteins, and enzymes that are essential to fight off the virus. As an added benefit, many bacteria and viruses don’t reproduce well in higher temperatures.

(sigh) The thing is, the human body can take the fever too far.

Humans already have a moderately large range of internal body temperatures that are deemed normal, or at least safe-ish. But if fevers last too long, or get too hot, the body risks damaging itself. Heat stroke. Organ failure. Brain damage. Death. Yes, their immune system “plays chicken,” as the humans say, and gambles that the pathogens will die before their body does! Are you kidding me?!

Oh, side note, don’t even get me started on their immune systems attacking things they shouldn’t, like food, joints, organs, or even itself. That’s insane. I can talk about that later.

Anyways. I guess fevers works well enough that the benefits outweigh the costs, usually. At least often enough that it continues to be the immune system’s go-to defense. If you excuse me, I have to go make sure my patients are still well-hydrated and that they ate all the acidic fruit I left for them. I also need to make sure the kitchens send them up some soup. Humans need some extra care when their bodies are at war.

... *End Recording

[thewildwaffle]

Humans are Weird - Injuries

Finally animated this old short story after it being in the WIP pile for yeeeaaarssss...

[thewildwaffle]

Friend Shaped

The professor clacked his beak sharply three times in the front of the room. The students, around 40 individuals, and many species from across the galactic arm hushed almost immediately. “Welcome back, class. The day for your first planet-side mission to Nemulon 3 is fast approaching, and we've still got a lot of safety training to cover, so let's get started.” The professor stepped aside to allow a projection to display against the board behind him. A picture of a blue, green, and gray planet shone brightly against the dark tapestry of space. Nemulon 3 had been discovered deca-orbits ago but offered a wide variety of biomes that were the perfect blend of challenging and safe to train new recruits to the Galactic Alliance’s Exploration Fleet. “Today we're covering some alien fauna you may encounter while conducting exploratories. Most are small enough that they won't pose much of an issue, but we do have a few category 5 lifeforms that you need to be aware of.” The display behind the professor changed from an image of Nemulon 3 from orbit to a chart topped by 5 images with their respective labels: karindru, oold, dini-dini, barintuna, and great lavalen. Before the professor could start in on the next part of his lecture, a voice spoke out from the middle of the classroom.“That looks like a dog.” The professor stood with his beak half open. He was certainly not used to being interrupted, let alone this early in the lesson. “A what?” He finally choked out. There was a pause as if the offending student was thinking better about drawing more attention to themselves before slowly putting their hand up in the air. It was a human. Cadet Valentina, if the attendance role had been accurate. “I said it… it looks like a dog.” Human Valentina inhaled as if gathering the courage to say more. “They're a carnivorous canine species on earth that humans domesticated thousands of cycles ago and selectively bred to be pets.” The professor’s beak closed with a snap and some of the features near the base of his neck ruffled slightly. “Nemulon 3 is 47 light years away from Earth. Any similarities between each planet’s fauna is purely coincidental, a product of parallel evolution.” The human bowed her head and said nothing else, so the professor continued. “Now, for many of you of larger stature, a single karindru might not pose much of a threat, but their real danger comes from their numbers. They live, travel, and hunt in packs. Thankfully, their method of communicating with each other in their packs are quite loud, so you will hear them long before you see them, and hopefully, before they see you. Typically you’ll hear anything from yipping, chirping, and howling.” “Kind of like coyotes.” The professor stopped and stared at the human again, feathers ruffling once again. “Another kind of canine species back home,” Valentina offered quietly. If the professor was capable of growling, he might have been tempted to at that moment. Instead, he sighed slowly. “I can assure you, trying to get close to these will likely end with your injury or death.” “Well, that's what ancient humans thought about wolves too, but then we bred them into dogs and now they’re our best friends.” “Karindru are not, nor are any native creatures on this planet, your friend. Not now, not ever.” The professor turned sharply back to the board. The entire class was dead silent. Few even dared to breathe. It was quiet enough, in fact, to hear the human mumble under their breath, “If not friend, then why friend-shaped?”

The human was promptly given detention and assigned extra homework of writing “I will not try to domesticate any native fauna on Nemulon 3” one hundred times by hand.

[thewildwaffle]

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

-This is kind of a continuation of my other short "Injuries" - this is from a prompt given to me about aliens' reaction to how complex human shoulders are and how we can throw hard and accurate without hurting ourselves.

***

“Take me out to the baaaaaaall game! Take me out with the crowd!” Human Vincent all but shouted the words to the tune he and Human Kate had been singing off and on the entire time they’d been “decorating” the rec hall.

Captain Kar’rim looked around at the humans’ efforts of setting up for a ‘party’ in one of the ship’s smaller rec rooms. It wasn’t much, but it looked nice. To be fair, the event was fairly last-minute and they’d made do with what they had on hand. The ship had just left hyperspace last rotation after a long-distance run to nearly the edge of the galactic arm. As per protocol, as soon as the ship was back in range of the Central Galactic Communications Network, an information update packet was downloaded.

Somewhere in all that data, one of the humans found a mention of a major sporting event from their home planet that was available for streaming upon request. They submitted the request and it had been quickly granted. Instead of just watching it immediately, it was unanimously decided that the humans would instead hold a “watching party” and invite anyone on the crew who was off-duty at the time and interested in participating. Captain Kar’rim had come by just to see how things were going and had ended up sticking around after he saw what they’d done with the rec hall.

There were long strings of curled paper strung from one side of the room to another. The humans had the video stream queued up and projected against the wall. All cushions from the chairs that were not black, red, gray, or white had been removed and, as he was told, stowed away in some closet nearby. The tables had been moved closer to the seating area and were covered in various trays of different foods. The humans themselves were decked out in strange uniform-looking shirts with numbers embroidered on the backs. Well, Vincent, Leo, and Kate were. The others just wore their casual rec clothes in colors that matched.

It wasn’t just the humans either. There was quite the crowd milling about excitedly by the time Kar’rim entered the rec room. He knew the humans on his crew were very social and friendly, they had a warm and comforting presence. He knew they’d made a lot of friends on the ship, but he was still surprised by the crowd around him now.

“Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks!” Kate had joined in with Vincent’s ‘singing.’ “I don’t care if I never get back, so just root! Root! Root for the home team!”

Suddenly all the humans were singing along with varying levels of volume, much to everyone else’s amusement. “If they don’t win it’s a shame, for it’s ONE! TWO! THREE strikes you’re out in the old! BALL! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!”

“Oooh, dinner, and a show,” Booka Vern chuckled as he tossed one of the foods from the tray into the air and caught it in his mouth. It was a trick he’d learned from one of the humans.

“I know peanuts are a type of plant from Earth,” Effyn Merl spoke up while looking over the table of foods, “but what are cracker jacks? If they’re anything like their name implies, they sound fun.”

Human Kate pointed at a bowl to Merl’s right, “Those are Cracker Jacks. Kind of. They’re homemade. Basically, it's just hardened caramel popcorn mixed with peanuts. The bowl has a yellow sticker, so everyone needs to check the allergy list over there to make sure it’s safe to eat.”

Kar’rim looked at the list. He was very impressed to see that they had made a color-coded list of possible allergens that corresponded with labels on trays and bowls spread out across the tables. The humans had really put a lot of work into this party and made sure as many of their crewmates who wanted to join could do so safely.

“If everyone’s okay with it,” Human Leo shouted, “I’m going to get the broadcast started. They always have a bit of the warm-up and show the first pitch being thrown and all that, so by the time everyone gets food and settles down, the game should be close to starting.”

No one disagreed, so Leo hit play and everyone grabbed plates gathered foods they could eat, and found a comfy spot to settle down to watch the game. There was a lot of chatter and a lot of questions about the basics of how the game they were about to watch worked. Most everyone had seen the humans throwing baseballs around before on their downtime, but this was the first time anyone had actually seen how it all came together to a whole sport that some humans spent their entire professional careers playing.

Kar’rim had not intended to stay. He was just going to check in for a moment and leave to spend his precious downtime resting or maybe taking a stroll through some of the corridors on the lower level of the ship. But now, with everyone settling down and the players on the projection taking their places on the field, he had to admit he was very curious. The excitement was infectious, and he couldn’t imagine wanting to do anything else but watch as he found a comfortable spot to sit.

The game was, to say the least, not exactly what he thought he’d been expecting. It was a strange mix of one-on-one between the human in the box holding a bat and the human on the pile of dirt in the middle of the square (or diamond as Kate corrected someone. It was a square though.) and a full, working-together team sport. If the human in the box hit the ball with the bat, suddenly it activated the roles of the rest of the team on the field. They would run, dive, and throw with practiced precision.

Kar’rim felt his mandibles drop as he watched the first few of such throws. He knew the humans on his crew could throw with insane accuracy and speed. Stars above, he’d seen the results of what happened when Human Kate had been hit in the face after such a throw! But what he saw on the broadcast was like nothing he thought could even be possible!

“What the frewan?!” Effyn Merl exclaimed. Normally, Kar’rim would have scolded such foul language, but he was in a bit of a state of shock and had to agree that the outburst felt warranted.

“How did he do that?” Merl pointed at the projected human who nonchalantly picked the small white ball from his glove and threw it (this time much slower and gentler) back to the pitcher. “How did that other guy throw the ball like that? I could barely see it move - it was like he teleported it!”

“Do we have the conversions of the speed from miles per hour to something the rest of us can understand?” Booka Vern asked between mouths of plain popcorn.

“I don’t think so for the throws in the plays,” Human Vincent scanned the screen, “but this pitcher usually throws around 93 mph, and I think that comes out to somewhere around 120, maybe 130-ish glatts per segment?”

“You’ve got to be pulling my tail!”

“I swear I’m not! I’ll look it up if you think I’m lying!”

Kar’rim shook his head. He believed it. He thought back to when Kate had been sent to the infirmary after getting hit by a baseball that had been traveling around 80-ish or so glatts per segment. He thought she was going to die that day. He’d underestimated humans back then. Even now, he still learned new things about them that surprised him. Like how their arms and shoulders were basically deadly projectile-launching weapons.

“Does it hurt?” One of the stransi’s on the crew piped up from where she was coiled on her favorite cushion.

Human Kate looked over, “Does what hurt? The catch or the throw?”

“Uhhh, well, the throw. But wait, uh, does the catch hurt too?!”

“Not usually, you catch the ball between your fingers and thumb, and the glove protects your hand from contact. And the throws don’t hurt at all.”

“At all? What are their arms made of? Do they have some sort of implants?!”

“Uhhh… no? It just takes a lot of practice. I guess it could hurt if you don’t stretch before, or uh, I guess some pitchers need to take special steps to take care of their arms since they throw so much.”

At this point Demfar, the ship’s head medic, spoke up from between bites of various foods he’s mixed into a bowl. “The human shoulder is a very complex structure. The joint itself is one of the most flexible in their entire bodies.” He took another bite. “The downside is that it’s not as stable as other joints, and is thus prone to injuries. I wouldn’t worry about it much though, “ another bite, “ if these humans do this as their full-time employment, I’m sure they take the proper steps to avoid injury and always listen to their physicians.” That last bit felt a bit pointed, especially since Demfar turned to stare down Human Leo, who cleared his throat and shifted a bit uncomfortably in his seat.

There were a few chuckles, but soon all eyes were back on the game as the human in the box swung and hit the ball so far that the ball flew right out of the stadium, far beyond any hope of being caught. The humans were suddenly on their feet and cheering. Most looked around surprised, except Booka Vern who sat his popcorn down carefully and stood up to bound and cheer as well, looking a little confused but happy to join in.

It was explained that the hit was called a “home run,” and that the batter, as well as the runner “on base,” could then run “home,” thus scoring points. It seemed simple enough to Kar’rim, pretty straightforward. He was sure there was plenty more to figure out about the rules and reasonings, and he knew he’d figure it out while he watched, or while the humans explained the rules as the game went. Overall, he felt it was very impressive. This game took a lot of accuracy from every player. It was certainly more than just throwing a ball back and forth to each other.

He was once again reminded how thankful he and the rest of the Galactic Alliance were that humans were friendly and on their side.

[thewildwaffle]