Yelena really has been getting better since The New Avengers formed. Alexei was right, she'd lost the light inside her years ago, but it was finally starting to come back. Despite her dry and sarcastic exterior, she was smiling more. Laughing more. She was even sleeping more--granted, usually it was with another avenger on the couch where they'd passed out watching a movie, but still, it was an improvement.
Still, though, she had bad days. She still had that pit of emptiness inside her, still had those thoughts that screamed that she was a monster, that she could never make up for everything she's done. Usually she can ignore that, drown that out, but sometimes...sometimes it was just too much, and she could feel herself starting to drown in it.
She knew from the moment she woke up that today was going to be a bad day. She'd felt it coming for a while, she always could, and she was sure it'd been obvious to her friends. She was colder, snippier. Her jabs, both verbal and physical, seemed sharper, more intentional, going straight for their secret weaknesses.
And that's how she found herself making macaroni at an hour far too early to be normal, blanket wrapped tight around herself and headphones firmly in. She was hoping to finish this and get back to her room before anyone else got up, so she could have her comfort food without dealing with anyone else.
"Bye, bye, miss American pie..." she sang softly to herself as she stirred the noodles, completely unaware that anyone else was awake at this hour to notice.
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