i’ll say it til the cows come home but as undeniably strange as the star wars prequels are, george lucas’ direction with anakin was downright fucking inspired. people were waiting for whatever badass backstory lucas was sure to give them, awaiting a naturally intimidating actor with rogueish charm to be cast, waiting for this masterpiece of badass villainy or whatever, and george lucas is like no, no, i’ve got you. and then he finds the one man on the planet who looked babier than baby mark hamill and says, “his main personality trait will be being weird and awkward, secondary personality trait loving his wife, tertiary personality trait being incredibly good at murder, and all of these traits will do battle on the silver screen for three movies until they all win in possibly the worst way.” that fucking rules. george lucas could’ve done anything with darth vader and he willingly, enthusiastically chose mentally unstable college student who is somehow married but his only friend is his kind-of dad. that fucking rules, top down, that’s fucking exquisite. if you don’t think that premise is inherently entertaining you’ve got no taste
A family of cheetahs sleep with the forest guard every night. When the Forest Dept. heard about it, they decided to check the veracity of the claim by installing a CCTV camera. This is what the camera recorded! Just amazing.
Louise still couldn't quite believe that she was wrong about Rudy's crush. Who else could he have been talking about with Zeke? Who else would he even want to give love weeds to? It was supposed to be her, wasn't it? Of course it was going to be Louise. They're best friends! Rudy was going to give her love weeds on stupid Valentine's Day—she was so sure of it, all morning.
But the thought of receiving them scared her, and she tried to prevent it as best she could. So when Rudy finally told her the love weeds were for Chloe, not Louise, shouldn't that have been a...relief? But it wasn't. Instead, Louise saw her own feelings etched onto the face of her best friend in the playground after school, when she finally got through to him that Chloe didn't like him—that she'd been using him.
Louise groaned, the memory of the recent playground incident playing back in her mind and making her blood boil.
She wasn't intending to slap Rudy, it just happened! But it didn't do anything to make her stupid feelings go away, just like slapping Boo Boo didn't make her stop having a stupid crush on a stupid boy band singer, even if he was the reason faces were invented. He deserved it, at least. All Rudy did was look all sad for not getting his stupid first kiss on stupid Valentine’s Day, making Louise suddenly care about wiping that stupid frown off his stupid face.
She wasn't exactly intending to kiss Rudy, either. It just…happened. And she didn’t hate it? But it all happened so fast! The kiss and the slap and everything that led up to it that day... Even in that moment, that split-second of stupidity that was nothing more than a kiss to shut him up—that's it!—even as it was happening, Louise didn't anticipate that she’d be slapping him any more than she anticipated having stupid feelings happening in her stomach! But it happened—the stupid feelings. During the kiss. And the slap. To get rid of said stupid feelings. Whatever the hell they were!
The closest sensation Louise could compare it to was the feeling of being on a really fast roller coaster, right after the first big drop—the higher, the better—when your stomach does somersaults and fills up with air. Your whole body seems to fill up with air, making you all lightheaded, and you only want to laugh or scream. Or both.
But chasing down some brat with smelly shampoo and breaking her best friend’s heart and immediately trying to mend it again (not even understanding why kissing him of all things was part of her approach but stumbling into it all the same)? None of that was anything like a good, rickety old ride at the Wonder Wharf—something that lacks the regular maintenance to make it just actually dangerous enough for the sense of thrill to be real.
Why did kissing Rudy make her feel like that? And why did she kiss him in the first place? Why did she feel so…disappointed that he like-liked Chloe enough to want her to be his first kiss? Why not Louise? Why, Rudy? Why Rudy?
Read more on AO3
In honor of the lovely fanart by @devilh0rnsinc that you can find here, I have taken it upon myself to revisit this fic. Chapter one (excerpted above) has been most heavily revised. I'll be sharing snippets of each chapter as I prepare to publish chapter five: Freshman Summer! <3 thanks for reading
“Damnit, Rudy,” she hissed. “How am I supposed to check how late you are without you here to check your watch for me?”
“I'm not late!” said a wheezing voice approaching from behind Louise.
She almost jumped. Almost. But she did feel instantly flushed in the cheeks as if she'd been caught talking out loud about Rudy in a much more incriminating way than mumbling about missing his stupid wristwatch.
“You're just early for the first time ever,” Rudy gloated, taking a puff of his inhaler. Hand still held to his mouth, cupping his inhaler, he angled his wrist toward Louise to show her the time.
His watch showed a hand pointing at the 11 and another one at the 12 and a third one that was moving, and she didn't know what it meant nor did she care.
“Yeah, whatever, I believe you,” she said, waving his hand away with her own. “Now, let's get this show on the road!”
Louise grabbed him by the wrist and began pulling him towards the stairs to the stage, but Rudy held his ground.
“What's the rush?” he asked.
Oh no, thought Louise. He doesn't want to do it. He only agreed because I pressured him into it.
Read the chapter on AO3
yes I headcanon that Louise can't read analog clocks
“What happened?” Bob asked, his tone nonjudgmental.
Louise groaned, burying her face into her folded arms on the countertop. “Can't we just go watch the Supreme Extreme Champions marathon instead?”
“Hey, you started it.”
She groaned again.
“But that doesn't mean you have to finish. We don't have to talk about it,” Bob said as he poured himself a coffee. “Now, or ever.”
Louise knew he was giving her an out if she needed one, and she only briefly wondered if he was trying to get out of it for his own discomfort of Serious Talks, but something in recognizing that shared solidarity between them broke down her last barrier to opening up to her dad, the one person in her family who really got her. The only person, really, besides…
“Rudy talked about his stupid bar mitzvah for weeks,” Louise started with a heavy sigh, head still in her arms. “And I listened—mostly—and nodded along as he talked about his plans, but suddenly, out of the blue, he told me that I can't go!” She choked a little on her words, then tried to pass it off as a sudden cough.
Bob waited for her to stop fake-coughing before asking, perplexed, “Rudy doesn't want you to go to his bar mitzvah?”
“No!” Her head snapped up and she glared at him. “That’s not it at all!”
“Then what is it?”
“His mom doesn't want me to go! Apparently I'm a ‘bad influence’ on her precious, perfect, innocent son. Like, yeah, I am! You're welcome, you sheltering, smothering, helicoptering, controlling—ugh!”
Louise buried her face again to keep from saying anything worse about that horrible woman.
“Oh,” Bob said.
“Yeah.”
He took a sip of his coffee, then another, before finally prompting her, “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Louise’s head sprang up and she dropped her shoulders, visibly relieved. “Oh, thank god! I thought you'd never ask! Maybe you could go see if she wants your mustache, or something?”
Read chapter 3 on AO3
I really enjoyed writing the hilariously adorable dynamic of Bob & Louise, and I love that her instinct is to say "you're welcome" after being called a bad influence XD
“Why are you dressing up? I thought you weren't invited.”
“Gee, thanks, Tina,” Louise said sarcastically. “Like I needed the reminder. I'm dressing up so nobody recognizes me, duh! I need to sneak in undetected, which means I need to blend in with all the fancy people who are invited.”
“Oh,” Tina said, her eyes trailing up Louise's ears where they sat atop her head. Over the years the color faded a little; its ends were fraying, but still she wore those pink bunny ears every day. “No offense, Louise, but you might be pretty easy to spot, like, right away.”
“I know,” Louise groaned, pulling down on her ears and flattening them against either side of her face. “That's why I'm not gonna wear these.”
“Whoa, really?” Tina asked, her tone even, despite her eyes growing wide in blatant surprise.
“Jeez, Tina, make a big deal out of it, why don't you?” Louise grumbled, crossing her arms and refusing to meet her sister's gaze. “It's a covert operation, of course I can't wear my ears.”
“It sorta is a big deal,” Tina pressed. “I don't think I've seen the top of your head since you were five.”
Louise didn't say anything, she just fiddled with the fraying ends of her longtime source of comfort. “I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it,” she finally mumbled, still avoiding looking directly at Tina.
“Big deal out of what?” Gene asked loudly as he barged into the room, not reading it at all.
Tina, with absolutely no tact, said matter-of-factly, “Louise is gonna take off her ears.”
“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa—” he paused to take a breath before continuing, “—aaaaaaaaaaaat?!” Gene wailed dramatically, his hands on his cheeks Home Alone-style.
The sound of his distress caused Linda to rush in from the kitchen, asking, “What is it? What's happening? What's going on?”
“Louise is gonna take off her ears!” Gene cried, pointing at her like she was a villain that needed to be identified.
“For Rudy's bar mitzvah,” Tina added calmly.
“Traitor!” Louise bellowed, pointing at her sister.
“Wait, I thought you weren't allowed to go?” Gene interjected as their mom began babbling.
“Aww, my baby! My brave baby! My little girl is all growed up, taking off her bunny ears! Aww, noooo, come here, my baby girl, come ’ere!”
Louise carefully ducked under her mother's open arms, dodging Gene as she made for the door. “Nope, nope, nope! Not happening, family.”
“Bobby!” Linda hollered. “Bobby, our baby is all grown up! Oh, I'm gonna cry!”
“SICK!” Louise shouted, making a break for it and barreling down the hallway to her own room. “You're all insufferable!” she cried as she slammed her door shut, kicking it for emphasis.
Louise panted as though she'd run much further than the length of the Belchers’ apartment. Her hands shook as she reached for her ears, gearing herself up to take them off. She lowered and raised her hands a few times before finally exhaling a huge sigh.
It wasn't like she never removed her ears. A girl's gotta shower. Even the ears needed to get laundered sometimes. Louise had certainly been alone without her ears on before, but this was different. With the intention of leaving the house without them on, she had to psych herself up a bit. Okay, a lot.
“Damnit, Rudy,” she hissed as she yanked off the pink hat quick like a bandaid.
Read more
More Belcher family dialogue I had too much fun writing
“I didn't really take you for the dancing type,” Rudy said, a little breathless after a few fast songs.
“Yeah, well,” Louise shrugged. “I love a good surprise.”
“I’ll say.” Rudy’s voice was low and deep with meaning.
She didn't know what to say to that, so she moved her head to the beat of the next song, letting her hair fall into her face.
“I like your hair!” Rudy shouted over the music as the song picked up in both tempo and volume, the pink lights darkening to red for the crescendo.
“I like you!” Louise said without thinking.
“What?” Rudy hollered.
“I said I like yours!” Louise said louder, mentally kicking herself for chickening out. “Your hair! You know, on your head!” she added stupidly.
“Thanks, but it's how it normally looks, just with a yarmulke!” Rudy pointed at the back of his head, bending a little to show her. “I don't think I've ever seen all of your hair before.” He nodded, gesturing to her, his eyes leaving her face to examine the top of her head.
Louise felt self-conscious and she was sure it had nothing to do with the fact that she almost accidentally told Rudy that she like-liked him. The habit of reaching for her ears brought Louise's hand to her hair, so she ran her fingers through it as though she'd always meant to do that.
“Does it look bad?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.
“No, remember? I said I liked it, like four seconds ago?”
The quick succession of two ‘like’s in Rudy's sentence caused Louise's heart to skip a beat. Even though she knew it wasn't what he said, she couldn't help but wish he'd say it, and she imagined him saying it in that soft, sweet tone he takes with her sometimes: I like-like you, Louise.
At the same time, another voice spoke up in her head, and it sounded suspiciously like Chloe Barbash when it said two simple, short words, sneering at her: as if.
That brutal internal interruption felt more embarrassing than forgetting that he just complimented her—four seconds earlier, by his count. And she trusted Rudy's internal clock because he was always on time—it was one of the things she loved about him.
Oh god, did she love-love him?
Narrator: she did
Had to share this bit of the chapter that inspired @devilh0rnsinc to make THIS:
“Hey, Louise?” Rudy asked quietly on one of those nights as they lay side-by-side on the trampoline.
“Yeah?” she replied.
When he didn't continue, Louise turned to look at him. He was watching her as she watched the skies above them, the moonlight streaming through thin, wispy clouds that moved quickly, making the soft light dance over their faces. It reminded her of the spotlights on the dance floor at Rudy's bar mitzvah, and the delicate white lights like sparkling stars that rotated around them as they held each other close for multiple slow dances in a row.
Not that she thought about that night all the time or anything. Nope, not at all.
Louise swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. She held her breath tight in her chest and didn't say anything, merely waited for Rudy to speak again. His breathing was shaky, too, which wasn't altogether that unusual, but it made Louise's heart skip as she scanned his face. He looked nervous—again, not that unusual—but there was a sadness brimming in his eyes, a worry or fear knitted in his brow that worried her.
Louise's mind wandered—fast—thinking of all the possible things that Rudy might say next, in the however many seconds it took for him to speak again. Maybe minutes. She wasn't sure how long they lied there facing each other in silence. Then—
“Do you…?” he started.
Louise felt her chest expanding as she drew in a shaky breath, unable to let it out in its entirety before taking in another, her mind spinning. Where is this going? Is he…? Does he??
Louise still couldn't quite believe that she was wrong about Rudy's crush. Who else could he have been talking about with Zeke? Who else would he even want to give love weeds to? It was supposed to be her, wasn't it? Of course it was going to be Louise. They're best friends! Rudy was going to give her love weeds on stupid Valentine's Day—she was so sure of it, all morning.
But the thought of receiving them scared her, and she tried to prevent it as best she could. So when Rudy finally told her the love weeds were for Chloe, not Louise, shouldn't that have been a...relief? But it wasn't. Instead, Louise saw her own feelings etched onto the face of her best friend in the playground after school, when she finally got through to him that Chloe didn't like him—that she'd been using him.
Louise groaned, the memory of the recent playground incident playing back in her mind and making her blood boil.
She wasn't intending to slap Rudy, it just happened! But it didn't do anything to make her stupid feelings go away, just like slapping Boo Boo didn't make her stop having a stupid crush on a stupid boy band singer, even if he was the reason faces were invented. He deserved it, at least. All Rudy did was look all sad for not getting his stupid first kiss on stupid Valentine’s Day, making Louise suddenly care about wiping that stupid frown off his stupid face.
She wasn't exactly intending to kiss Rudy, either. It just…happened. And she didn’t hate it? But it all happened so fast! The kiss and the slap and everything that led up to it that day... Even in that moment, that split-second of stupidity that was nothing more than a kiss to shut him up—that's it!—even as it was happening, Louise didn't anticipate that she’d be slapping him any more than she anticipated having stupid feelings happening in her stomach! But it happened—the stupid feelings. During the kiss. And the slap. To get rid of said stupid feelings. Whatever the hell they were!
The closest sensation Louise could compare it to was the feeling of being on a really fast roller coaster, right after the first big drop—the higher, the better—when your stomach does somersaults and fills up with air. Your whole body seems to fill up with air, making you all lightheaded, and you only want to laugh or scream. Or both.
But chasing down some brat with smelly shampoo and breaking her best friend’s heart and immediately trying to mend it again (not even understanding why kissing him of all things was part of her approach but stumbling into it all the same)? None of that was anything like a good, rickety old ride at the Wonder Wharf—something that lacks the regular maintenance to make it just actually dangerous enough for the sense of thrill to be real.
Why did kissing Rudy make her feel like that? And why did she kiss him in the first place? Why did she feel so…disappointed that he like-liked Chloe enough to want her to be his first kiss? Why not Louise? Why, Rudy? Why Rudy?
Read more on AO3
In honor of the lovely fanart by @devilh0rnsinc that you can find here, I have taken it upon myself to revisit this fic. Chapter one (excerpted above) has been most heavily revised. I'll be sharing snippets of each chapter as I prepare to publish chapter five: Freshman Summer! <3 thanks for reading
“Damnit, Rudy,” she hissed. “How am I supposed to check how late you are without you here to check your watch for me?”
“I'm not late!” said a wheezing voice approaching from behind Louise.
She almost jumped. Almost. But she did feel instantly flushed in the cheeks as if she'd been caught talking out loud about Rudy in a much more incriminating way than mumbling about missing his stupid wristwatch.
“You're just early for the first time ever,” Rudy gloated, taking a puff of his inhaler. Hand still held to his mouth, cupping his inhaler, he angled his wrist toward Louise to show her the time.
His watch showed a hand pointing at the 11 and another one at the 12 and a third one that was moving, and she didn't know what it meant nor did she care.
“Yeah, whatever, I believe you,” she said, waving his hand away with her own. “Now, let's get this show on the road!”
Louise grabbed him by the wrist and began pulling him towards the stairs to the stage, but Rudy held his ground.
“What's the rush?” he asked.
Oh no, thought Louise. He doesn't want to do it. He only agreed because I pressured him into it.
Read the chapter on AO3
yes I headcanon that Louise can't read analog clocks
“What happened?” Bob asked, his tone nonjudgmental.
Louise groaned, burying her face into her folded arms on the countertop. “Can't we just go watch the Supreme Extreme Champions marathon instead?”
“Hey, you started it.”
She groaned again.
“But that doesn't mean you have to finish. We don't have to talk about it,” Bob said as he poured himself a coffee. “Now, or ever.”
Louise knew he was giving her an out if she needed one, and she only briefly wondered if he was trying to get out of it for his own discomfort of Serious Talks, but something in recognizing that shared solidarity between them broke down her last barrier to opening up to her dad, the one person in her family who really got her. The only person, really, besides…
“Rudy talked about his stupid bar mitzvah for weeks,” Louise started with a heavy sigh, head still in her arms. “And I listened—mostly—and nodded along as he talked about his plans, but suddenly, out of the blue, he told me that I can't go!” She choked a little on her words, then tried to pass it off as a sudden cough.
Bob waited for her to stop fake-coughing before asking, perplexed, “Rudy doesn't want you to go to his bar mitzvah?”
“No!” Her head snapped up and she glared at him. “That’s not it at all!”
“Then what is it?”
“His mom doesn't want me to go! Apparently I'm a ‘bad influence’ on her precious, perfect, innocent son. Like, yeah, I am! You're welcome, you sheltering, smothering, helicoptering, controlling—ugh!”
Louise buried her face again to keep from saying anything worse about that horrible woman.
“Oh,” Bob said.
“Yeah.”
He took a sip of his coffee, then another, before finally prompting her, “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Louise’s head sprang up and she dropped her shoulders, visibly relieved. “Oh, thank god! I thought you'd never ask! Maybe you could go see if she wants your mustache, or something?”
Read chapter 3 on AO3
I really enjoyed writing the hilariously adorable dynamic of Bob & Louise, and I love that her instinct is to say "you're welcome" after being called a bad influence XD
“Why are you dressing up? I thought you weren't invited.”
“Gee, thanks, Tina,” Louise said sarcastically. “Like I needed the reminder. I'm dressing up so nobody recognizes me, duh! I need to sneak in undetected, which means I need to blend in with all the fancy people who are invited.”
“Oh,” Tina said, her eyes trailing up Louise's ears where they sat atop her head. Over the years the color faded a little; its ends were fraying, but still she wore those pink bunny ears every day. “No offense, Louise, but you might be pretty easy to spot, like, right away.”
“I know,” Louise groaned, pulling down on her ears and flattening them against either side of her face. “That's why I'm not gonna wear these.”
“Whoa, really?” Tina asked, her tone even, despite her eyes growing wide in blatant surprise.
“Jeez, Tina, make a big deal out of it, why don't you?” Louise grumbled, crossing her arms and refusing to meet her sister's gaze. “It's a covert operation, of course I can't wear my ears.”
“It sorta is a big deal,” Tina pressed. “I don't think I've seen the top of your head since you were five.”
Louise didn't say anything, she just fiddled with the fraying ends of her longtime source of comfort. “I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it,” she finally mumbled, still avoiding looking directly at Tina.
“Big deal out of what?” Gene asked loudly as he barged into the room, not reading it at all.
Tina, with absolutely no tact, said matter-of-factly, “Louise is gonna take off her ears.”
“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa—” he paused to take a breath before continuing, “—aaaaaaaaaaaat?!” Gene wailed dramatically, his hands on his cheeks Home Alone-style.
The sound of his distress caused Linda to rush in from the kitchen, asking, “What is it? What's happening? What's going on?”
“Louise is gonna take off her ears!” Gene cried, pointing at her like she was a villain that needed to be identified.
“For Rudy's bar mitzvah,” Tina added calmly.
“Traitor!” Louise bellowed, pointing at her sister.
“Wait, I thought you weren't allowed to go?” Gene interjected as their mom began babbling.
“Aww, my baby! My brave baby! My little girl is all growed up, taking off her bunny ears! Aww, noooo, come here, my baby girl, come ’ere!”
Louise carefully ducked under her mother's open arms, dodging Gene as she made for the door. “Nope, nope, nope! Not happening, family.”
“Bobby!” Linda hollered. “Bobby, our baby is all grown up! Oh, I'm gonna cry!”
“SICK!” Louise shouted, making a break for it and barreling down the hallway to her own room. “You're all insufferable!” she cried as she slammed her door shut, kicking it for emphasis.
Louise panted as though she'd run much further than the length of the Belchers’ apartment. Her hands shook as she reached for her ears, gearing herself up to take them off. She lowered and raised her hands a few times before finally exhaling a huge sigh.
It wasn't like she never removed her ears. A girl's gotta shower. Even the ears needed to get laundered sometimes. Louise had certainly been alone without her ears on before, but this was different. With the intention of leaving the house without them on, she had to psych herself up a bit. Okay, a lot.
“Damnit, Rudy,” she hissed as she yanked off the pink hat quick like a bandaid.
Read more
More Belcher family dialogue I had too much fun writing
“I didn't really take you for the dancing type,” Rudy said, a little breathless after a few fast songs.
“Yeah, well,” Louise shrugged. “I love a good surprise.”
“I’ll say.” Rudy’s voice was low and deep with meaning.
She didn't know what to say to that, so she moved her head to the beat of the next song, letting her hair fall into her face.
“I like your hair!” Rudy shouted over the music as the song picked up in both tempo and volume, the pink lights darkening to red for the crescendo.
“I like you!” Louise said without thinking.
“What?” Rudy hollered.
“I said I like yours!” Louise said louder, mentally kicking herself for chickening out. “Your hair! You know, on your head!” she added stupidly.
“Thanks, but it's how it normally looks, just with a yarmulke!” Rudy pointed at the back of his head, bending a little to show her. “I don't think I've ever seen all of your hair before.” He nodded, gesturing to her, his eyes leaving her face to examine the top of her head.
Louise felt self-conscious and she was sure it had nothing to do with the fact that she almost accidentally told Rudy that she like-liked him. The habit of reaching for her ears brought Louise's hand to her hair, so she ran her fingers through it as though she'd always meant to do that.
“Does it look bad?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.
“No, remember? I said I liked it, like four seconds ago?”
The quick succession of two ‘like’s in Rudy's sentence caused Louise's heart to skip a beat. Even though she knew it wasn't what he said, she couldn't help but wish he'd say it, and she imagined him saying it in that soft, sweet tone he takes with her sometimes: I like-like you, Louise.
At the same time, another voice spoke up in her head, and it sounded suspiciously like Chloe Barbash when it said two simple, short words, sneering at her: as if.
That brutal internal interruption felt more embarrassing than forgetting that he just complimented her—four seconds earlier, by his count. And she trusted Rudy's internal clock because he was always on time—it was one of the things she loved about him.
Oh god, did she love-love him?
Narrator: she did
Had to share this bit of the chapter that inspired @devilh0rnsinc to make THIS:
Louise still couldn't quite believe that she was wrong about Rudy's crush. Who else could he have been talking about with Zeke? Who else would he even want to give love weeds to? It was supposed to be her, wasn't it? Of course it was going to be Louise. They're best friends! Rudy was going to give her love weeds on stupid Valentine's Day—she was so sure of it, all morning.
But the thought of receiving them scared her, and she tried to prevent it as best she could. So when Rudy finally told her the love weeds were for Chloe, not Louise, shouldn't that have been a...relief? But it wasn't. Instead, Louise saw her own feelings etched onto the face of her best friend in the playground after school, when she finally got through to him that Chloe didn't like him—that she'd been using him.
Louise groaned, the memory of the recent playground incident playing back in her mind and making her blood boil.
She wasn't intending to slap Rudy, it just happened! But it didn't do anything to make her stupid feelings go away, just like slapping Boo Boo didn't make her stop having a stupid crush on a stupid boy band singer, even if he was the reason faces were invented. He deserved it, at least. All Rudy did was look all sad for not getting his stupid first kiss on stupid Valentine’s Day, making Louise suddenly care about wiping that stupid frown off his stupid face.
She wasn't exactly intending to kiss Rudy, either. It just…happened. And she didn’t hate it? But it all happened so fast! The kiss and the slap and everything that led up to it that day... Even in that moment, that split-second of stupidity that was nothing more than a kiss to shut him up—that's it!—even as it was happening, Louise didn't anticipate that she’d be slapping him any more than she anticipated having stupid feelings happening in her stomach! But it happened—the stupid feelings. During the kiss. And the slap. To get rid of said stupid feelings. Whatever the hell they were!
The closest sensation Louise could compare it to was the feeling of being on a really fast roller coaster, right after the first big drop—the higher, the better—when your stomach does somersaults and fills up with air. Your whole body seems to fill up with air, making you all lightheaded, and you only want to laugh or scream. Or both.
But chasing down some brat with smelly shampoo and breaking her best friend’s heart and immediately trying to mend it again (not even understanding why kissing him of all things was part of her approach but stumbling into it all the same)? None of that was anything like a good, rickety old ride at the Wonder Wharf—something that lacks the regular maintenance to make it just actually dangerous enough for the sense of thrill to be real.
Why did kissing Rudy make her feel like that? And why did she kiss him in the first place? Why did she feel so…disappointed that he like-liked Chloe enough to want her to be his first kiss? Why not Louise? Why, Rudy? Why Rudy?
Read more on AO3
In honor of the lovely fanart by @devilh0rnsinc that you can find here, I have taken it upon myself to revisit this fic. Chapter one (excerpted above) has been most heavily revised. I'll be sharing snippets of each chapter as I prepare to publish chapter five: Freshman Summer! <3 thanks for reading
“Damnit, Rudy,” she hissed. “How am I supposed to check how late you are without you here to check your watch for me?”
“I'm not late!” said a wheezing voice approaching from behind Louise.
She almost jumped. Almost. But she did feel instantly flushed in the cheeks as if she'd been caught talking out loud about Rudy in a much more incriminating way than mumbling about missing his stupid wristwatch.
“You're just early for the first time ever,” Rudy gloated, taking a puff of his inhaler. Hand still held to his mouth, cupping his inhaler, he angled his wrist toward Louise to show her the time.
His watch showed a hand pointing at the 11 and another one at the 12 and a third one that was moving, and she didn't know what it meant nor did she care.
“Yeah, whatever, I believe you,” she said, waving his hand away with her own. “Now, let's get this show on the road!”
Louise grabbed him by the wrist and began pulling him towards the stairs to the stage, but Rudy held his ground.
“What's the rush?” he asked.
Oh no, thought Louise. He doesn't want to do it. He only agreed because I pressured him into it.
Read the chapter on AO3
yes I headcanon that Louise can't read analog clocks
“What happened?” Bob asked, his tone nonjudgmental.
Louise groaned, burying her face into her folded arms on the countertop. “Can't we just go watch the Supreme Extreme Champions marathon instead?”
“Hey, you started it.”
She groaned again.
“But that doesn't mean you have to finish. We don't have to talk about it,” Bob said as he poured himself a coffee. “Now, or ever.”
Louise knew he was giving her an out if she needed one, and she only briefly wondered if he was trying to get out of it for his own discomfort of Serious Talks, but something in recognizing that shared solidarity between them broke down her last barrier to opening up to her dad, the one person in her family who really got her. The only person, really, besides…
“Rudy talked about his stupid bar mitzvah for weeks,” Louise started with a heavy sigh, head still in her arms. “And I listened—mostly—and nodded along as he talked about his plans, but suddenly, out of the blue, he told me that I can't go!” She choked a little on her words, then tried to pass it off as a sudden cough.
Bob waited for her to stop fake-coughing before asking, perplexed, “Rudy doesn't want you to go to his bar mitzvah?”
“No!” Her head snapped up and she glared at him. “That’s not it at all!”
“Then what is it?”
“His mom doesn't want me to go! Apparently I'm a ‘bad influence’ on her precious, perfect, innocent son. Like, yeah, I am! You're welcome, you sheltering, smothering, helicoptering, controlling—ugh!”
Louise buried her face again to keep from saying anything worse about that horrible woman.
“Oh,” Bob said.
“Yeah.”
He took a sip of his coffee, then another, before finally prompting her, “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Louise’s head sprang up and she dropped her shoulders, visibly relieved. “Oh, thank god! I thought you'd never ask! Maybe you could go see if she wants your mustache, or something?”
Read chapter 3 on AO3
I really enjoyed writing the hilariously adorable dynamic of Bob & Louise, and I love that her instinct is to say "you're welcome" after being called a bad influence XD
“Why are you dressing up? I thought you weren't invited.”
“Gee, thanks, Tina,” Louise said sarcastically. “Like I needed the reminder. I'm dressing up so nobody recognizes me, duh! I need to sneak in undetected, which means I need to blend in with all the fancy people who are invited.”
“Oh,” Tina said, her eyes trailing up Louise's ears where they sat atop her head. Over the years the color faded a little; its ends were fraying, but still she wore those pink bunny ears every day. “No offense, Louise, but you might be pretty easy to spot, like, right away.”
“I know,” Louise groaned, pulling down on her ears and flattening them against either side of her face. “That's why I'm not gonna wear these.”
“Whoa, really?” Tina asked, her tone even, despite her eyes growing wide in blatant surprise.
“Jeez, Tina, make a big deal out of it, why don't you?” Louise grumbled, crossing her arms and refusing to meet her sister's gaze. “It's a covert operation, of course I can't wear my ears.”
“It sorta is a big deal,” Tina pressed. “I don't think I've seen the top of your head since you were five.”
Louise didn't say anything, she just fiddled with the fraying ends of her longtime source of comfort. “I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it,” she finally mumbled, still avoiding looking directly at Tina.
“Big deal out of what?” Gene asked loudly as he barged into the room, not reading it at all.
Tina, with absolutely no tact, said matter-of-factly, “Louise is gonna take off her ears.”
“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa—” he paused to take a breath before continuing, “—aaaaaaaaaaaat?!” Gene wailed dramatically, his hands on his cheeks Home Alone-style.
The sound of his distress caused Linda to rush in from the kitchen, asking, “What is it? What's happening? What's going on?”
“Louise is gonna take off her ears!” Gene cried, pointing at her like she was a villain that needed to be identified.
“For Rudy's bar mitzvah,” Tina added calmly.
“Traitor!” Louise bellowed, pointing at her sister.
“Wait, I thought you weren't allowed to go?” Gene interjected as their mom began babbling.
“Aww, my baby! My brave baby! My little girl is all growed up, taking off her bunny ears! Aww, noooo, come here, my baby girl, come ’ere!”
Louise carefully ducked under her mother's open arms, dodging Gene as she made for the door. “Nope, nope, nope! Not happening, family.”
“Bobby!” Linda hollered. “Bobby, our baby is all grown up! Oh, I'm gonna cry!”
“SICK!” Louise shouted, making a break for it and barreling down the hallway to her own room. “You're all insufferable!” she cried as she slammed her door shut, kicking it for emphasis.
Louise panted as though she'd run much further than the length of the Belchers’ apartment. Her hands shook as she reached for her ears, gearing herself up to take them off. She lowered and raised her hands a few times before finally exhaling a huge sigh.
It wasn't like she never removed her ears. A girl's gotta shower. Even the ears needed to get laundered sometimes. Louise had certainly been alone without her ears on before, but this was different. With the intention of leaving the house without them on, she had to psych herself up a bit. Okay, a lot.
“Damnit, Rudy,” she hissed as she yanked off the pink hat quick like a bandaid.
Read more
More Belcher family dialogue I had too much fun writing
Louise still couldn't quite believe that she was wrong about Rudy's crush. Who else could he have been talking about with Zeke? Who else would he even want to give love weeds to? It was supposed to be her, wasn't it? Of course it was going to be Louise. They're best friends! Rudy was going to give her love weeds on stupid Valentine's Day—she was so sure of it, all morning.
But the thought of receiving them scared her, and she tried to prevent it as best she could. So when Rudy finally told her the love weeds were for Chloe, not Louise, shouldn't that have been a...relief? But it wasn't. Instead, Louise saw her own feelings etched onto the face of her best friend in the playground after school, when she finally got through to him that Chloe didn't like him—that she'd been using him.
Louise groaned, the memory of the recent playground incident playing back in her mind and making her blood boil.
She wasn't intending to slap Rudy, it just happened! But it didn't do anything to make her stupid feelings go away, just like slapping Boo Boo didn't make her stop having a stupid crush on a stupid boy band singer, even if he was the reason faces were invented. He deserved it, at least. All Rudy did was look all sad for not getting his stupid first kiss on stupid Valentine’s Day, making Louise suddenly care about wiping that stupid frown off his stupid face.
She wasn't exactly intending to kiss Rudy, either. It just…happened. And she didn’t hate it? But it all happened so fast! The kiss and the slap and everything that led up to it that day... Even in that moment, that split-second of stupidity that was nothing more than a kiss to shut him up—that's it!—even as it was happening, Louise didn't anticipate that she’d be slapping him any more than she anticipated having stupid feelings happening in her stomach! But it happened—the stupid feelings. During the kiss. And the slap. To get rid of said stupid feelings. Whatever the hell they were!
The closest sensation Louise could compare it to was the feeling of being on a really fast roller coaster, right after the first big drop—the higher, the better—when your stomach does somersaults and fills up with air. Your whole body seems to fill up with air, making you all lightheaded, and you only want to laugh or scream. Or both.
But chasing down some brat with smelly shampoo and breaking her best friend’s heart and immediately trying to mend it again (not even understanding why kissing him of all things was part of her approach but stumbling into it all the same)? None of that was anything like a good, rickety old ride at the Wonder Wharf—something that lacks the regular maintenance to make it just actually dangerous enough for the sense of thrill to be real.
Why did kissing Rudy make her feel like that? And why did she kiss him in the first place? Why did she feel so…disappointed that he like-liked Chloe enough to want her to be his first kiss? Why not Louise? Why, Rudy? Why Rudy?
Read more on AO3
In honor of the lovely fanart by @devilh0rnsinc that you can find here, I have taken it upon myself to revisit this fic. Chapter one (excerpted above) has been most heavily revised. I'll be sharing snippets of each chapter as I prepare to publish chapter five: Freshman Summer! <3 thanks for reading
“Damnit, Rudy,” she hissed. “How am I supposed to check how late you are without you here to check your watch for me?”
“I'm not late!” said a wheezing voice approaching from behind Louise.
She almost jumped. Almost. But she did feel instantly flushed in the cheeks as if she'd been caught talking out loud about Rudy in a much more incriminating way than mumbling about missing his stupid wristwatch.
“You're just early for the first time ever,” Rudy gloated, taking a puff of his inhaler. Hand still held to his mouth, cupping his inhaler, he angled his wrist toward Louise to show her the time.
His watch showed a hand pointing at the 11 and another one at the 12 and a third one that was moving, and she didn't know what it meant nor did she care.
“Yeah, whatever, I believe you,” she said, waving his hand away with her own. “Now, let's get this show on the road!”
Louise grabbed him by the wrist and began pulling him towards the stairs to the stage, but Rudy held his ground.
“What's the rush?” he asked.
Oh no, thought Louise. He doesn't want to do it. He only agreed because I pressured him into it.
Read the chapter on AO3
yes I headcanon that Louise can't read analog clocks
“What happened?” Bob asked, his tone nonjudgmental.
Louise groaned, burying her face into her folded arms on the countertop. “Can't we just go watch the Supreme Extreme Champions marathon instead?”
“Hey, you started it.”
She groaned again.
“But that doesn't mean you have to finish. We don't have to talk about it,” Bob said as he poured himself a coffee. “Now, or ever.”
Louise knew he was giving her an out if she needed one, and she only briefly wondered if he was trying to get out of it for his own discomfort of Serious Talks, but something in recognizing that shared solidarity between them broke down her last barrier to opening up to her dad, the one person in her family who really got her. The only person, really, besides…
“Rudy talked about his stupid bar mitzvah for weeks,” Louise started with a heavy sigh, head still in her arms. “And I listened—mostly—and nodded along as he talked about his plans, but suddenly, out of the blue, he told me that I can't go!” She choked a little on her words, then tried to pass it off as a sudden cough.
Bob waited for her to stop fake-coughing before asking, perplexed, “Rudy doesn't want you to go to his bar mitzvah?”
“No!” Her head snapped up and she glared at him. “That’s not it at all!”
“Then what is it?”
“His mom doesn't want me to go! Apparently I'm a ‘bad influence’ on her precious, perfect, innocent son. Like, yeah, I am! You're welcome, you sheltering, smothering, helicoptering, controlling—ugh!”
Louise buried her face again to keep from saying anything worse about that horrible woman.
“Oh,” Bob said.
“Yeah.”
He took a sip of his coffee, then another, before finally prompting her, “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Louise’s head sprang up and she dropped her shoulders, visibly relieved. “Oh, thank god! I thought you'd never ask! Maybe you could go see if she wants your mustache, or something?”
Read chapter 3 on AO3
I really enjoyed writing the hilariously adorable dynamic of Bob & Louise, and I love that her instinct is to say "you're welcome" after being called a bad influence XD
Louise still couldn't quite believe that she was wrong about Rudy's crush. Who else could he have been talking about with Zeke? Who else would he even want to give love weeds to? It was supposed to be her, wasn't it? Of course it was going to be Louise. They're best friends! Rudy was going to give her love weeds on stupid Valentine's Day—she was so sure of it, all morning.
But the thought of receiving them scared her, and she tried to prevent it as best she could. So when Rudy finally told her the love weeds were for Chloe, not Louise, shouldn't that have been a...relief? But it wasn't. Instead, Louise saw her own feelings etched onto the face of her best friend in the playground after school, when she finally got through to him that Chloe didn't like him—that she'd been using him.
Louise groaned, the memory of the recent playground incident playing back in her mind and making her blood boil.
She wasn't intending to slap Rudy, it just happened! But it didn't do anything to make her stupid feelings go away, just like slapping Boo Boo didn't make her stop having a stupid crush on a stupid boy band singer, even if he was the reason faces were invented. He deserved it, at least. All Rudy did was look all sad for not getting his stupid first kiss on stupid Valentine’s Day, making Louise suddenly care about wiping that stupid frown off his stupid face.
She wasn't exactly intending to kiss Rudy, either. It just…happened. And she didn’t hate it? But it all happened so fast! The kiss and the slap and everything that led up to it that day... Even in that moment, that split-second of stupidity that was nothing more than a kiss to shut him up—that's it!—even as it was happening, Louise didn't anticipate that she’d be slapping him any more than she anticipated having stupid feelings happening in her stomach! But it happened—the stupid feelings. During the kiss. And the slap. To get rid of said stupid feelings. Whatever the hell they were!
The closest sensation Louise could compare it to was the feeling of being on a really fast roller coaster, right after the first big drop—the higher, the better—when your stomach does somersaults and fills up with air. Your whole body seems to fill up with air, making you all lightheaded, and you only want to laugh or scream. Or both.
But chasing down some brat with smelly shampoo and breaking her best friend’s heart and immediately trying to mend it again (not even understanding why kissing him of all things was part of her approach but stumbling into it all the same)? None of that was anything like a good, rickety old ride at the Wonder Wharf—something that lacks the regular maintenance to make it just actually dangerous enough for the sense of thrill to be real.
Why did kissing Rudy make her feel like that? And why did she kiss him in the first place? Why did she feel so…disappointed that he like-liked Chloe enough to want her to be his first kiss? Why not Louise? Why, Rudy? Why Rudy?
Read more on AO3
In honor of the lovely fanart by @devilh0rnsinc that you can find here, I have taken it upon myself to revisit this fic. Chapter one (excerpted above) has been most heavily revised. I'll be sharing snippets of each chapter as I prepare to publish chapter five: Freshman Summer! <3 thanks for reading
“Damnit, Rudy,” she hissed. “How am I supposed to check how late you are without you here to check your watch for me?”
“I'm not late!” said a wheezing voice approaching from behind Louise.
She almost jumped. Almost. But she did feel instantly flushed in the cheeks as if she'd been caught talking out loud about Rudy in a much more incriminating way than mumbling about missing his stupid wristwatch.
“You're just early for the first time ever,” Rudy gloated, taking a puff of his inhaler. Hand still held to his mouth, cupping his inhaler, he angled his wrist toward Louise to show her the time.
His watch showed a hand pointing at the 11 and another one at the 12 and a third one that was moving, and she didn't know what it meant nor did she care.
“Yeah, whatever, I believe you,” she said, waving his hand away with her own. “Now, let's get this show on the road!”
Louise grabbed him by the wrist and began pulling him towards the stairs to the stage, but Rudy held his ground.
“What's the rush?” he asked.
Oh no, thought Louise. He doesn't want to do it. He only agreed because I pressured him into it.
Read the chapter on AO3
yes I headcanon that Louise can't read analog clocks
Louise still couldn't quite believe that she was wrong about Rudy's crush. Who else could he have been talking about with Zeke? Who else would he even want to give love weeds to? It was supposed to be her, wasn't it? Of course it was going to be Louise. They're best friends! Rudy was going to give her love weeds on stupid Valentine's Day—she was so sure of it, all morning.
But the thought of receiving them scared her, and she tried to prevent it as best she could. So when Rudy finally told her the love weeds were for Chloe, not Louise, shouldn't that have been a...relief? But it wasn't. Instead, Louise saw her own feelings etched onto the face of her best friend in the playground after school, when she finally got through to him that Chloe didn't like him—that she'd been using him.
Louise groaned, the memory of the recent playground incident playing back in her mind and making her blood boil.
She wasn't intending to slap Rudy, it just happened! But it didn't do anything to make her stupid feelings go away, just like slapping Boo Boo didn't make her stop having a stupid crush on a stupid boy band singer, even if he was the reason faces were invented. He deserved it, at least. All Rudy did was look all sad for not getting his stupid first kiss on stupid Valentine’s Day, making Louise suddenly care about wiping that stupid frown off his stupid face.
She wasn't exactly intending to kiss Rudy, either. It just…happened. And she didn’t hate it? But it all happened so fast! The kiss and the slap and everything that led up to it that day... Even in that moment, that split-second of stupidity that was nothing more than a kiss to shut him up—that's it!—even as it was happening, Louise didn't anticipate that she’d be slapping him any more than she anticipated having stupid feelings happening in her stomach! But it happened—the stupid feelings. During the kiss. And the slap. To get rid of said stupid feelings. Whatever the hell they were!
The closest sensation Louise could compare it to was the feeling of being on a really fast roller coaster, right after the first big drop—the higher, the better—when your stomach does somersaults and fills up with air. Your whole body seems to fill up with air, making you all lightheaded, and you only want to laugh or scream. Or both.
But chasing down some brat with smelly shampoo and breaking her best friend’s heart and immediately trying to mend it again (not even understanding why kissing him of all things was part of her approach but stumbling into it all the same)? None of that was anything like a good, rickety old ride at the Wonder Wharf—something that lacks the regular maintenance to make it just actually dangerous enough for the sense of thrill to be real.
Why did kissing Rudy make her feel like that? And why did she kiss him in the first place? Why did she feel so…disappointed that he like-liked Chloe enough to want her to be his first kiss? Why not Louise? Why, Rudy? Why Rudy?
Read more on AO3
In honor of the lovely fanart by @devilh0rnsinc that you can find here, I have taken it upon myself to revisit this fic. Chapter one (excerpted above) has been most heavily revised. I'll be sharing snippets of each chapter as I prepare to publish chapter five: Freshman Summer! <3 thanks for reading
nothing like AO3 being down to get me back in my wips
“Hey, Aloy,” Erend's voice rumbled in her chest as he called her on the Focus. “I found more of those Prometheus guys holed up in an abandoned rebel camp.”
“What? I thought we got them all.”
“So did I, but I’ve been tracking Oseram movements in and out of the West and I am sure of it.”
“No, I believe you, I just…” Aloy sighed. “Where are you now?”
“Forty paces behind these fools, following them back to their camp.”
Aloy groaned. “Just, be careful, okay? Lay low and I’ll meet you there as soon as I can.”
“You got it,” he agreed.
As Aloy approached that night, even from a distance she could see that something wasn’t right. A fight had broken out, and she could see the distinctive crackle of electricity from Erend’s hammer swings.
“Shit,” she hissed. She picked up speed, breaking into a run before sliding into a patch of tall grass on the outskirts of the camp. Scanning her Focus, she wanted to get a count of enemy targets, assess areas of weakness, and take stock of potential environmental features to use for her attack, but she didn’t have time for any of that.
Cursing under her breath about the Oseram in the thick of the fight, she lunged out of the grass to join him.
“Just in time!” he shouted in greeting as they went back-to-back.
“What happened to laying low?” she scolded, slicing her spear through the armor of the closest attacker.
