goddess

+Raquell; 20, america. i cant wait to worship your body.

[lluviagf]

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bi9kb7jnnBm/

[allo-nsy]

So the drugstore I was in today had a perfume display. Here are some of the perfumes I came across.

Dirt

Funeral Home

Weed

Grass

Holy Water

Laundromat

Leather

New Zealand 

Play-Doh 

Wet Garden

Tomato

Suntan Lotion

Sex on the Beach

Riding Crop

Soap

And Finally, Swimming Pool

[andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels]

The laundromat one actually smells really good, but when people asked me what scent i was wearing i was like ‘ummmmmmmmm’

[christineebersole]

catch me out here in my custom weed, holy water and riding crop scent I call it eau de sex positive portland youth pastor 

[badjokesbyjeff]

Doctor : Does it hurt?

Mother : Yes, a lot.

Doctor : So are we vaccinating the baby, or should I slap you again?

[gayhaircut]

honestly if someone tenderly cradled my face i think at this point i would probably blackout

[gayhaircut]

ladies are u all ok

[lizzey-deactivated20191029]

no

[theweirdwideweb]

[jockinthegym]

Yeah sex is great and all but have you ever voted a Republican out of office?

[korolevx-deactivated20180128]

the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap

[korolevx-deactivated20180128]

mix NyQuil and DayQuil to create Quil

[lured-deactivated20170602]

what does Quil do

[softbutxh-deactivated20170428]

All the time all the time

[8xns]

If you think about it in the shower, you’re not over it

[vondell-txt-deactivated20180105]

anyone interested in seeing 6 new frogs

[nebelzeit]

[gingerlicious69-deactivated2018]

Boys? In THIS economy?!

[penetrieren]

I need to stop imagining unrealistic scenarios in my head

[crazyfacedcatthecat]

[thecommonchick]

me to my significant other: you should watch this show

s/o: yeah maybe

me: let me rephrase that, if you value this relationship-

[zibaldoni-elzapoppin]

[oh-okay-whatever]

Huuuusband❤️

[butchsandwich-deactivated201912]

[unluckymarch]

“do you have a type?”

uh yeah, women I’m slightly afraid of

[bemusedlybespectacled]

#my type is basically women I’m slightly afraid of #and men I can be 100% sure I will never ever ever have to be afraid of (via @crazy-pages)

[hozier voice] amen, aaaameeen, aaaaaaaaaaaameeeeeeeeeeen

[f-lert0u]