Things That Must Have Happened

Because there are many things you don't get to see in your games.

[pansyfemme]

the thing is im literally just a dog

[disgruntleddemon]

[cuntboysupremacy]

girl helppp

[cuntboysupremacy]

forcefemmed future self

[cuntboysupremacy]

the replies are even worse

[radiosandrecordings]

Scottish government currently has a bunch of ads up to get screened for lung cancer, but for some reason they’ve decided to personify cancer as some sort of gothic butch milf and I’m obsessed with her

[a-random-fandom-friend]

I know I already said it in a reblog 2 years ago, but... the french orangina ads :

[louisegluckpdf]

[gottalottarocks]

[official-kircheis]

[witchesversuspatriarchy]

“My life sucks so yours should too!”.

[stealthrockdamage-deactivated20]

i just realized this is funny every month of the year actually

[aromanticduck]

Deal in absolutes: absolutely no unnecessary outings.

[aceofsquiddles-dontfollow]

…Emperor Quarantine

[tinsil]

rise & grind let’s get that exp

[chunkecheeks]

I was going to make a joke about how people tell their hairdressers so many personal details that I wouldnt be surprised if someone confessed to murder while I was styling their hair but then I remembered that was an actual thing that happened when I was in cosmetology school

[chunkecheeks]

SO when I was in cosmetology school i was in the breakroom and I was telling everyone back there about how my client had just told me about how her dead husband’s head was found at the airport along with 63 other human heads (that’s a story for another day) and everyone started swapping stories about weird things that their client had told them

and then this one girl pipes up and is like “Yeah my client told me about how she killed her husband once.” and we were like EXCUSE ME??? WHAT? and she was like “yeah apparently her husband was coming at her with a knife and she managed to get it away from him and stabbed him like three times” 

according to the teachers she had A. told that story to at least three other students in the time she had been coming there and B. It was ruled as self defense so it’s not like she was a criminal who was on the run 

[witch-apologist]

Okay but tell us the human heads story

[laurajameskinney]

op can we PLEASE have the human heads story

[chunkecheeks]

OKAY so this one I actually have a lot more context for because it was a firsthand experience buckle the fuck in

So I get this client, she’s an older lady so it was a color retouch and a trim and I was like okay I do this all the time this is gonna be just a super routine and mundane day. So I’m chatting with her just like usual small talk stuff like asking how her day is going and stuff and at some point she says: “I’m actually going to be in the newspaper tomorrow so I needed to get this done so I look good when they take my picture.”

So I’m like “Oh that’s nice! I hope you have fun!” and she goes “It’s not going to be fun, it’s because of a court case. I’m seeking legal action against a funeral home because they stole my husband’s body.” She’s saying this is the most casual tone ever and let me tell you, when someone you don’t know drops information like that on you, it’s the weirdest situation ever

I have NO idea how I’m supposed to react properly to that so I’m just saying “Oh no that’s so terrible!” and she keeps on going 

“Yeah his head was found at an airport with 63 other human heads. they removed some of his body parts before they cremated him and sold them illegally. They were using his head at a dental convention in some other country.” 

That was the strangest thing a client had ever decided to share with me and i’ve been continuously googling that shit trying desperately to find what she was interviewed for but there’s nothing and I can’t figure out if it’s weirder that she may have lied to me about this crazy story or if it actually happened and she decided to tell a student hairdresser she never met the entire story without being prompted

[daniel-oneiroi]

y’all it fucking happened

[thingsthatmusthavehappened]

Things that must've happened in Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright

maya: niiiiick, all these people are kinda freaking me out

phoenix: what? why?

maya: their chins don't move when they talk

[thingsthatmusthavehappened]

Things that must've happened in Shin Megami Tensei IV: Apocalypse

navarre: *uses attaack item*

human enemy: what the fuck just happened

[thingsthatmusthavehappened]

Things that must've happened in Zero Time Dilemma

sigma: hey phi, did you know that D team is actually named after me?

phi: nope, it's name after me

diana: what are you guys talking about?

[thingsthatmusthavehappened]

Things that must've happened in Prince of Persia

sultan of azad: son, it is time for you to learn parkour

[thingsthatmusthavehappened]

Things that must've happened in Zero Escape

eric: look, mira, i used strawberry syrup to draw a heart on your ice cream

mira *sweating profusely*: haha thanks eric

[thingsthatmusthavehappened]

Things that must've happened in Doki Doki Literature Club

şͮ̿̈ͥ͒ͯͤa̯̥͇̫̥̰̔̄ͪ̓͌͜y̼̻̭̱͕̌ͤ͛͆ͩͮ̐ò̘̞̟͈̬ͪ́r̺iͯ̌ͮ̔̊̊ͨ҉: 󟺶Ɵ󟹈Ǩą󟹅9003Ŝ0Ƕ󟺞â󟸲󟾫ñǕEƣ²ŅƯBƻ󟸻󟻈󟹑»󟸺øǂ0󟻄ƀELJƫ󟺕¶󟾱ļ󟹌ƪ󟸺ůğE󟾫æ󟺿Ňŋų󟹁NjŐE0ŃǦƸ0ǞĤ󟹔󟾥󟻐Ʊ󟹤ĭđúD󟾠󟸹ƐĦƲƻį󟺧ųŋ󟾕0D󟹙00󟺥ŭǟ1ĒE󟸸Óƾ«ǿƀ󟸴ƯD󟹝󟾚󟸹󟻍07©ǭǹÕ󟸵󟾴0ªŁƮŘîƅ󟹂󟸿󟸴Ų󟹘Ƽ0ÏƧ0C󟸷ƶČE󟸴ƗDzǞ0ƭ0FǎŨ󟺝F󟺾čÊïdz󟾲æ󟺼󟸾ƣ󟹳ě¾6ăĵŔ󟸶󟺷ĨƆ5ǥ󟾱Ý0ƗE0ģ󟹞󟻑D0Ģ0Ř󟸻ĈÿEŒ󟾠󟸿Dŷ

M̺̖̪͍͕̿͒̎͊̀o̥̯͌͛͡n̢͔̰̬̲͖ͫͧ̄̄͊̀ī̼́̋̕k̼͈̪a̩̤͚̲̰͓̞͊,̢̆ ̖ͩ̆s͚͉̟͎̬͈̟ẘ̱͍̗̃͗̈́͗̆͢e̡͚̪ͪ̊ͪã̡ͪ̽̑ͧ̏͂t͚̪̲̼̍͌ͨ̉ͩͣ́ͅiͤ̾ͫ͊̍͑͡n̝̟͇̖̤̜̰ͥͯͪ̒g̣̘̭̹̻̞̈́̅ͤ̿̚ ͥͧ͛̆̐̑ͮn̺̯̬̙̉͛̐̀e̙͕̤͙̥͉̩̚r͊͊v͍̼͚͖͎ǫ̜͈̦̻́u̸̝̼̺̻̭̩͓̇̐ͥ̍ͥ̇s͐͌͏̬̯̯͕l͓̼̬͍̪͕̊ͬ̊͗̇yͥ̇̔ͣ҉: 0ţǵļB󟾰Ī󟻜ţ󟻂ƐčņǁDĹē1󟺘󟹍󟺘󟸼ǫµ0Ş󟹢󟹺󟾲󟾡󟺾áDZ󟹪Ņģǖ󟸷F0ÿ󟹍0ŌƵ󟻏󟹫ƫA󟹁Ǽ󟹙D0󟾠ţF󟾧0󟾧ĭ0ƶřÑÜ󟻎ǗÍŇċŤ󟹸NJŊŊĪƛ׌ĵĥǍ󟹜󟻁ĥǯ󟹏󟺣Đñ9û󟾦󟺪0ǧ󟻈ü󟹟Fǿ󟾯󟹞0󟸺󟻆Ʊç0Ő󟹅󟺑DėEčǓ󟻞󟸵ĠE0󟺲ƲâƮ󟸷0ǙƵ󟹭ö0󟹵ƟƋË0󟻕Fƞ0ÝǩǏ0Ư0󟺯

[thingsthatmusthavehappened]

Things that must've happened in Ace Attorney

eldoon: no, i only sell noodles

maya: okay, but what about "noodle burgers"?

[thingsthatmusthavehappened]

Things that must've happened in Snake Eater

enemy soldier: it's fine to eat random dead animals lying around inside of our building if i'm hungry, right?