Tumblr Sex Museum

[apas-95]

[ithoughtiwaslostbut]

[peopleofgelbooru]

[enjoloras-deactivated20220821]

Okay so Victorian erotica is literally the most heinous, morally bankrupt, horrific shit I've ever read - but I've read a fair bit, partly from historical interest but also because a while back I helped a friend with a university project she was doing about censorship and pornography in 19th century England.

Anyway I need to share with you all the most hilarious line that has ever been written, circa 1887:

[prokopetz]

I feel like this excerpt is significantly enhanced by knowing that the novel in question is a first-person narrative written from the perspective of an inexplicably sapient flea who lives on Bella's body, and that's why the third priest's penis is described in this way: from the narrator's perspective it literally blots out the sky.

[kingarniestar-deactivated202509]

me when im a flea

[official-penis-posts]

Official Sky-Menacing Penis Post

[peopleofgelbooru]

[cuties-in-codices]

a man as the slave of his wife, undressing her shoes while she is holding a whip

in a copy of "der welsche gast" by thomasîn von zerclaere, bavaria, c. 1256

source: Heidelberg, UB, Cod. Pal. germ. 389, fol. 68r

[palmer]

I don’t want to cook but I also don’t want to buy food </3

[palmer]

Cant say shit anymore

[pjackk]

Attention male lovers:Its ok to beat me with a hammer until i dont move anymore

[achingmarshking]

male lover here!

i will not be doing that!

[pjackk]

You wull never pleasure me

Worthless animal

[tahthetrickster]

litmus test for tumblr olds

[thirstarchaeologist]

[peopleofgelbooru]

[targuzzler-deactivated20180224]

my submarine got a glory hole connecting to the outside so if someone doesnt have their dick out and inserted and ready to be nipped at by sea life at all times this motherfucker’s hitting the the bottom of the ocean within minutes

[thirstarchaeologist]

[gsirvitor]

[flusterdyke-moved]

experiencing the lesbian equivalent of guys being convinced they could beat a moose in a fight or w/e. objectively i could not handle that but couldnt i?

[foxgirlintestines]

I am 6'5" and almost 300lbs, and this is all I have to say on this matter.

[peopleofgelbooru]

[letsmakethenaughtylistt]

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodcatfish]

Rule

[android1000]

And y’all want me to vote for this dude?