You don't have to do anything, don't listen to them.
[Banner description: vibrant picture of the loveless flag with a glistening and shimmery affect. It's overlayed with white sparkles, black fence-like wires, and a white text box with a black border and red text. It has the quote: "But you have to love!!!"
Icon description: vibrant and shimmery picture of the loveless flag, with a large compass-rose in the center. /End description.]
Alovephobia is: the discrimination against loveless / alove people
lovenormativity is: the societal norm and expectation that everyone experiences love and the desire to pursue loving relationships
Loveless definition: Anyone who doesn't experience, relate, or identify with the term love.
Alovespec definition: Someone whose identity falls under lovelessness or is closely related to lovelessness when placed on the breadth loving and loveless.
It can also refer to people who don't wish to further label their identity.
Hi ! I recently came out to my mom as aroace. We had a very long conversation about aromantism. Because "love is like covid, you can say you don't want it, you have it anyways". And then, the "you don't have found the right person yet ". Or even "You're too young to know what you want "(I'm almost an adult). I explained better, I told her what I feel. And she kept doing the comparison between love and covid. Thank you !
this is arophobia and alovephobia (the whole 'love is like covid' comparison')
Aro culture is being told "love makes the world go 'round!" and agreeing, adding on that that can mean familial and platonic love too, but then being shot down and told "no, romantic love makes the world go 'round," and that person's reason for saying that is reproduction and maintaining the world's population—something that romantic love isn't even necessary for
Hi sorry you reposted my post as alovephobic (I think I spelled that right…) and I was just curious as to how the identity works? Like I thought everyone had interests and hobbies and stuff, is that offensive to think? I’ve never heard of this before? I was trying to make a “anti-aphobic” post saying that even if people don’t “love” the way you’d expect, they still have other things, even if it’s hobbies and interests, that’s still valid, but is that not true? Asking out of curiosity and wanting to grow ^v^
okay hi! i wasn't trying to single you out or anything, but the general message of your post is something i hear a lot, that makes aspec posts (as an alove / loveless person) really isolating.
imagine how an aplatonic person (little to no platonic attraction, or desire for friends) would feel, hearing aromantics and asexuals talk about how while they don't want romance and sex, at least they want friends. that general message is something we hear a LOT. "i don't want this, but i'm still human. i want this alternative form of attachment or attraction"
it feels like someone trying to validate themselves by casting out a smaller, less accepted part of the community
i don't want [x], but i can still feel love. i am still capable of this. i'm not empty
i understand what you were trying to express. i know how impossibly frustrating it is expressing your identity, and having people assign a bunch of other assumptions about it. or in your case, negating something you do [PT: do] experience and erasing it entirely. but it's so isolating hearing people assume that there is a universal thing everyone favors and is capable of. that we, as humans (or whatever...) may not favor sex, but at least we want romance. at least we want friends. at least we value our family, at least we love, at least, at least, at least
anyway, if you do love differently, good for you. but i don't at all, and i hate being generalized
(i hope this makes sense. i kind of rambled)
also (also also!!!) i feel like i skipped half of your question. lovelessness is an aspec identity, and naturally exists on a spectrum. everyone will experience it differently
in my case, love just doesn't mean anything to me. i don't experience or want to be associated with it. i don't love my hobbies, interests, etc. i just engage with them because it's nice having something to do :)
if you'd like to hear from more loveless people, the alove community on tumblr is growing :D you can hear from us at @our-loveless-experiences, or the loveless community.
(you can also just browse the tags)
18 members, 166 posts about #loveless #aspec #love loses • Love loses
Love is about more than a romantic partner. Love is about more than your family. Love is even about more than your friends. We don’t just love people, we love animals too. We don’t just love living beings, we love our favourite items too. We love our passions and our favourite activities. We love memories, we love thoughts and beliefs. We love. We all love or care in some way, it’s just not always as obvious or simple or typical as expected.
Question: What is the greatest magic of all?
Answer: Friendship, right?
[B]: The greatest magic of all is not friendship, it's chronomancy, the ability to control and warp time. If friendship were the greatest magic, look, it's a pet peeve of mine (...)
DUNGEON MASTER BRENNAN LEE MULLIGAN ANSWERS DnD QUESTIONS (TECH SUPPORT | WIRED)
[Image Description: Six gifs of a clip showing Brennan Lee Mulligan saying: "There's a lot of stories out there where the greatest magic of all is love. Or friendship. And it's like: "Oh! Because you loved so well, it created a magic spell that protected you!" That is so cruel to everyone else in that fictional world who died. Do you get it? If your love can magically protect you, what follows from that is: "anyone who died didn't love hard enough". It's fucked up. Just think about it for two seconds, all right? You can't be doing that. The greatest magic of all is powerful magic. And you should use that magic to protect the people you love. They're not the same thing." End Image Description]
[Plain text caption: Question: What is the greatest magic of all?
Answer: Friendship, right?
[B]: The greatest magic of all is not friendship, it's chronomancy, the ability to control and warp time. If friendship were the greatest magic, look, it's a pet peeve of mine (...)
Dungeon Master Brennan Lee Mulligan answers DnD questions (Tech Support | Wired)]
I'm not 100% sure this fits on this blog, but at its core it's criticism of lovenormative and platonormatove tropes https://www.tumblr.com/mushroomjar/778227061981675520/image-description-six-gifs-of-a-clip-showing
Love comes in all shapes and sizes tho. Self love included. Everyone needs love, just not romantic or sexual. We do need other people to rely on. We do need friends. We do need ourselves. We do need love, we just don't need romance or sex.
my rough view of love is caring for others. Basically that one Bible verse where’s it’s like love is patient, love is kind, etc, etc. I definitely could have worded my post better but I do have a few questions. What is your view of love (not your personal experience but like how do you view other people’s love) and do you not consider care for yourself to be love? I’m asking because this is the first time I’ve ever heard of a loveless person before.
Sorry for being so late... But we're here to respond now!
For us, love, care, and kindness are all separate things. We still care about some things without loving them (as in, they matter to us and we don't want them to die, if they are a living thing.) As well as show them kindness. We are actually repulsed by love! The concept, the word, both cause repulsion for us. Love is very vague, and we have actually never understood it, because everyone explains it differently! But we know we've never felt it, not even once. But care and kindness do not repulse or confuse us, and we enjoy caring and trying our best to be kind and patient.
Of course, one does not need these things either! The definitions of these things are also commonly decided by the user. So it's pretty subjective. We hoped this cleared some things up though. :]
No worries on answering late, you could've waited a year and I wouldn't mind haha! Thank you for responding and helping me understand. And also for being so kind in your response :D!! I wasn't aware of the terms alove or loveless before your post, so I'm sorry for being a bit ignorant. I hope this doesn't come off as rude, but I think it was just miscommunication and different definitions for words. In my mind, what love means is entirely different than what it means to you and other loveless individuals. I've previously explained how view love so I won't say it again but I really enjoyed hearing your view on relationships and love. When you first responded to my post, I did some very basic research on alove and loveless people. I was wondering if you had any resources, informations or even other blogs on the topic? Not that you have to or anything. You aren't responsible for my ignorance but I always think its best to ask people in the community themselves and I would really like to know more. Have a nice night!!
Thank you for being so willing, and open to learning about it! You're very sweet, :] and of course we can send you some stuff! :D
Loveless Wiki (A hub for a bunch of microlabels, showing how different people on the alove spectrum might experience their lovelessness. While also showing how it might intersect with other identities.)
our-loveless-experiences ( A lot of loveless posting of a wider variety of loveless experiences in one blog )
Love comes in all shapes and sizes tho. Self love included. Everyone needs love, just not romantic or sexual. We do need other people to rely on. We do need friends. We do need ourselves. We do need love, we just don't need romance or sex.
my rough view of love is caring for others. Basically that one Bible verse where’s it’s like love is patient, love is kind, etc, etc. I definitely could have worded my post better but I do have a few questions. What is your view of love (not your personal experience but like how do you view other people’s love) and do you not consider care for yourself to be love? I’m asking because this is the first time I’ve ever heard of a loveless person before.
Sorry for being so late... But we're here to respond now!
For us, love, care, and kindness are all separate things. We still care about some things without loving them (as in, they matter to us and we don't want them to die, if they are a living thing.) As well as show them kindness. We are actually repulsed by love! The concept, the word, both cause repulsion for us. Love is very vague, and we have actually never understood it, because everyone explains it differently! But we know we've never felt it, not even once. But care and kindness do not repulse or confuse us, and we enjoy caring and trying our best to be kind and patient.
Of course, one does not need these things either! The definitions of these things are also commonly decided by the user. So it's pretty subjective. We hoped this cleared some things up though. :]
humanity is held together by love and compassion my dudes. to love is to be human, to have community is to be human. humans are pack animals, guys, we rely on collaboration for survival. hey hey galss. you need to start relying on other people more. and im gonna be fr you guyss, we need to start offering or just giving people more help you gals. peeps love is nessesary to the human condition. love yourself, love your friends, love your family, love your partner, love your aquaintances, love the people in your community love the stanger on the bus. love love love love love. because to do otherwise is death
