why did they split up grimmons. why is simmons staying in blood gulch when he has no reason to stay. he has NO TEAM. HE BECAME RED LEADER ONLY TO END UP WITH NO TEAM?? AND HES COOL WITH THAT?? ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
Someone should write a fanfic where Shedletsky goes to meet up with Builderman to catch up about old times n stuff, but after a week he never comes back (they got Forsakened), so Brighteyes sets off to look for them, trying to find any sign of what couldโve happened or where they are.
Maybe she ends up swapping places with Shed for a day (to explain the Brighteyes skin in game), or some clues to The Spectreโs existence, but at the end of the fic, Builderman nor Shedletsky ever actually make it back
FILMS AS CDD (Complex Dissociative Disorder) REPRESENTATION - A SERIES:
Fight Club (1999)
Accuracy For Laymen: 1/5
Accuracy For Systems: 4/5
Summary: Fight Club is one of the most famous films of the 20th century, starring Brad Pitt. It's main twist (sorry for spoilers-) is that the main character, Narrator, has Dissociative Identity Disorder, or at least that's the takeaway the film gave its viewers. Despite it's surface level symptom-ological inaccuracies, it has surprising insights into the CDD experience and relationships between alters, as well as anti-endo obsession with "fakers" and the current state of syscourse.
SPOILERS UNDER CUT
As the film develops, there is a slow build to the levels of dissociation and hints to the fact that the main characters/system - Tyler Durden and the Narrator - in fact is a system. While I will not get too deeply into the development here, I will be discussing parts of the film I found accurate to the CDD (namely DID) experience.
In the beginning of the film, we learn that Narrator lives alone in a one bedroom apartment, cannot cook (mainly eats condiments), and has fairly severe moral scrupulosity OCD traits. Narrator also attends group therapy for various trauma groups, and seems to not be aware of why he relates to these people, or he feels unable to cry. He is also an insomniac. His engagement with (other) traumatized individuals, while feeling like a fraud, and subsequent obsession and hatred of Marla Singer as a "fellow faker" truly resonated with me, especially with the current state of the syscourse tag.
While at these support groups, Narrator goes by different names and never is named as a part (though there is a slight nod to a possible name, which will be discussed later) which resonated with many of my more host-oriented parts.
At these support groups, Narrator is also prompted to try meditation. As someone who has done group meditation and Inner World work, these two things are often difficult to distinguish, and i personally believe that individuals who have practiced any internal communication or work will often have an easier time trying this meditative work, and this is mirrored in Fight Club, in which Narrator enters what I think is his Inner World and meets a child/animal alter, a penguin that says "slide" and slides away.
As the film continues, we meet Narrator's part/alter, Tyler Durden, who he believes is a separate person from him. For the sake of this analysis, we will be referring to them as a collective/alters in a system. Their interactions are highly accurate to those between CDD-havers, especially the internalised narratives that they bounce between one another. Namely, when they share their family histories. They keep agreeing and saying their histories are very similar, with very little awareness of the fact that they are differing perceptions of the same situation. Later, Tyler ends up disappearing as a part, which is also a very accurate note of the CDD experience - parts will hide themselves, and while it's played for shock value and to allow Narrator to discover his system, this is often exactly what it feels like to discover one's own dissociation. Tyler is also highly deceptive towards Narrator, though it's unclear if he believes these things himself or if he is purposefully deceiving him. In one scene, Tyler says something to the effect of "Maybe I thought about the wrong wire the whole time, so you'd cut the wrong one." This sort of thought process and magical thinking is very common within those who have dissociative disconnects. The truth is that both of them do know, as they share a brain, but this internal creation of dissociation and enforcement of it is rather accurate. Also, Tyler pushes the narrative that "everyone does this" (hallucinate themselves doing what they Want To Do) and the idea that CDD experiences are "normal" are common factors in the internal gaslighting that happens with these sorts of disorders.
Finally, I think that the dual representation of the Paper Street house as their Inner and outer reality, especially with lines such as "the last occupant was a shut in" which implies a former host, as well as the many books that Narrator and Tyler read, that further imply internal fragmentation ("I am Jack's colon," "I am Jill's nipples").
