A Bloody Jester, If I’ve Ever Seen One

Opichi. he. White-coded 2spirit ojibwe, Pls don't follow if you're a minor/under 18

[balover13579]

As someone who has seen both movies, (iron lung three times) here's a few things i see ppl get wrong/ misunderstand:

Simon is missing his left arm, up to the shoulder. Like at the bicep.

Simon is not just a eel, he's fused with the seed and explodes into a tree.

The seed was on the left arm, fused, reversed Pinocchioed him, and got ripped off.

He kills Elli by exploding into a fucking tree.

He met God.

God gave him prophetic visions and fucked him up. Promised Simon would live, and like a Genie, didn't specify how.

Also some time manipulation bullshit was happening.

Homeboy is played by Mark(iplire), who is Korean. (Draw him Korean you cowards /j)

Simon would not necessarily be impressed/ emotinal from looking at stars. In a flashback he's seen stars before, but knows they're ghost light. He would be grateful being able to see them again though.

He WOULD be very emotinal about any plant life. He found a new will to live when he found the little seed. He had a breakdown when the little charm cracked.

His "job" on Eden was to nourish the last tree with the people he killed. Hence his nickname.

There's a lot symbolism regarding trees (the hull window crack)

Simon is resourceful and smart! Like smart smart! Let him be smart woth Rocky and Grace!

Yes, Simon can be aggressive, but is only in situation where his life is threatened. He's also remorseful. He's apologetic and does want to make up for his wrongs, even if it wasn't his fault.

His left eye glows :3

Grace is not a coward.

Like Simon, Grace did not go down without a fight. He ran, yes, but when he was being sedated he shouted how he would sabotage the mission. Do everything he can to make it fail, just so the wouldn't risk putting him on the exhibition.

He is incredibly brave. He did a space walk without training. He trusted rocky that he wouldn't explode in the space bridge. He CLIMBED ON THE BURNING EXTERIOR OF THE HAIL MARY TO RETRIEVE THE COLLECTION DEVICE.

Grace is not a crybaby. He crys for very real, reasonable reasons! When he was betrayed? When they found a solution to save their stars? When Rock gave him a way to return to Earth? It would be weird for him NOT to cry! (Edit: person in the tags you're so right)

He would be scared meeting Simon, but he would not be a coward.

They BOTH have a "This is bigger than me" mentality. They both risked everything to ensure the survival of humanity. They were willing to die.

It's not selfish just wanting to live.

I don't think either of them would have a problem doing anything to survive. (Eating the Taumoeba or Me-burgers)

How it works in my head

[ctrl-shift-alt-9]

Finally. Some good fucking food.

[tansytaseis]

how it feels to be playing Character with your friend

[tansytaseis]

inviting your friend to smash your toys together

[depsidase]

[flagellant]

[flagellant]

[flagellant]

[challahbeloved]

[charlesoberonn]

The funniest part is getting all of the authentic clothes and prayer books and hanukkiah for everything else, but getting huge ass scissors for the last part.

[fandomsandfeminism]

Occasionally, when I'm in the early stages of planning a trip, I will, laughably, check to see if it's feasible to do something *without* the car, or a plane.

Bus and train. It may take longer than a plane, and be less convenient than by car, but better for the environment, right? Let's see.

Well. I COULD drive 11 hours from Austin to Albuquerque, where I have family, which costs whatever horrible gas prices we have right now. (Plus driving time always inflates for pit stops.)

OR take a plane (2 hours in the air, plus airport time, and probably need to rent a car there) for roughly $150ish.

Or...I can take the Greyhound bus, which....means taking the bus to Dallas, then transferring to go to Oklahoma, then transferring to another bus to go to Albuquerque. And it'll only take 20 hours and cost $250.

OR.....for $220, I can take an Amtrak from Austin to Dallas, then change trains to go to Oklahoma, then *switch to a bus* to go to....Kansas? And then get on a train in Kansas to go to Albequrque. And it will only take 30+ hours.

.....

Ok.

Chicago. Go see the Field Museum.

I can drive there in 18 hours. Or fly, about $200 and 3 hours in the air.

Greyhound for $250 in 25 hours. Amtrak for $230...in 29 hours.

.....

What if I just want to go to Houston for the weekend and not deal with the traffic? I can drive to Houston in 2.5 maybe 3 hours? I'd never fly that, since that's crazy (an hour in the air, but driving is actually faster if you account for airport shennanigans). This one at least has a viable bus option at 3 hours and $40 (but then you don't have your car with you, so you have to figure out transportation around Houston...)

Amtrak...amazingly , requires a train transfer in San Antonio, takes 16 hours, and costs $70.

Ok, New York City. 26 hours of driving. 5 hours and $300 flying. Bus is only $180 and takes....45 hours.

Amtrak. Costs. $440. And would take...54 hours...on three different trains.

And I just.

Fine. I'll drive.

[teaboot]

How people get nicknames:

Recipient of a third-degree burn in front of witnesses. IE, "I won't take that shit from a man dressed like a ghostbuster"= "Gostbuster" or "Buster"

A distinctive personal feature or quirk. IE, "Have you noticed how that new guy is always eating bell peppers?" = "Peppers", or "That chick has a massive forehead" = "Forehead".

An embarrassing thing you said or did. IE, "Did you seriously call Dale "Dad"?" = "Junior", "Baby boy", "Sport"

A game of name-mutation telephone. IE, "Donny Clyde" = "Bonnie 'n' Clyde" = "Bonnie" = "Bon-bon".

Irony. IE, calling a tall person "short stack" or a particularly dour person "sunshine".

A 'wrong place wrong time' one-off incident. IE, "He spilled oil on his pants and had to borrow a pair that were way too big and Jim saw him with the waistband pulled up to his nipples and called him 'Parachute'"

A batman-style origin story but not in a cool way: "One time she hit a deer with the company car and when she called the boss to tell her she was crying so hard we thought she was dying" = "Bambi"

The incredibly rare 'admiration' nickname, bourne only once a millennia under the light of the blood moon: "We saw him lift a truck once so now we call him 'iron man'"

+ How Nicknames Stick:

Your fate is determined by The Counsel

You hate it

It's accurate

[plaguedocboi]

When I was in high school we (as in, my class collectively) had a habit of giving people nicknames that were just other completely normal names.

For instance, there was a girl named Ashley who we all called Kimberly. There was a kid named Daniel who we called Paul. There was Joel. I can’t even remember what his real name was at this point because he was just Joel to me.

I don’t know why we did this.

[cipheramnesia]

One time in college there was this girl who loved to make every conversation about herself and had gone so far as to self-assign an "admiration" nickname, and I was able to de-assign it by replacing it with a neutral nickname which blazed through the college so fast, this particular girl being genuinely that notoriously self centered, that it wiped her entire admiration nickname off the face of the school in a week. It was an object lesson in human social behavior that was terrifying to behold and stuck with me to this day

[kangals]

my YouTube algorithm has been showing me a lot of horse racing recently and since the Kentucky derby is today, the last few days all my recommendations have been filled with every middle-ages dudebros podcast about gambling and betting strategies and How To Pick The Real Winner and how to min-max your bet and bla bla bla. Buddy I’ve already got my favorite horsie picked out and it’s because he’s Silly.

[kangals]

reasons i like the horsie Great White:

he's about 6 inches taller and 200lbs heavier than any other horse in the field. big ol honse.

his record kind of sucks and when an interviewer asked his trainer "what do you think [the horse] will need to do to win the derby?' the trainer just said "get a lot better."

the horse was deadset on eating the landscaping shrubbery during the interview

thats all i need, absolutely sold, go get em Great White.

[kangals]

this couldn't have ended any more perfectly

[kangals]

guess which one is great white

[quietwingsinthesky]

do you think bowser ever gets anxious after kidnapping peach again that he went too far this time and he calls mario up in the middle of the night to make sure they’re still on for tennis and gokarting next weekend

[quietwingsinthesky]

painstakingly dialing mario’s landline on a comically small telephone only for luigi to pick up instead and he has to ask him to put his brother on the phone. not that luigi isn’t part of weekend plans, but like this is really more of a mario & bowser situation and it’d be rude to drag his brother into it if there’s a problem. so anyway then luigi puts the receiver down to go get his brother and bowser sits there tapping his claws on his table and this is agony, actually, he shouldn’t have called at all, it’s late enough at his castle so it has to be even later over in the mushroom kingdom. but just as he’s about to put the phone down, mario answers all chipper—mario mario speaking, who’s-a calling? which is a ridiculous question because there’s no way luigi didn’t already tell him.—and bowser has to ask him. look, mario, i know i dangled peach in a bird cage over a pit of lava the other day, and when you showed up, i let my son throw giant flaming hammers at you, and there’s no hard feelings about that, right? and there’s a few seconds of silence before mario laughs and reassures him it’s all in the day’s work of a plumber, an explanation bowser has never thought to really question since he only knows two plumbers and it does all seem pretty in their wheelhouse. and then he’s embarrassed for worrying so much so he tries to end the call quickly, but mario just ribs him about how badly he’s going to lose the next race, and then he starts asking bowser how junior is, and does bowser want any of the leftovers since he and luigi really do cook way too much for two, be a shame to let it go to waste. and by the time bowser manages to hang up, this has gone from leftovers into him and junior and the koopalings all being invited over to the mario household for dinner, so long as they don’t park their airship on the front lawn and leave the cannons at home.

[quietwingsinthesky]

op approved tags. you’re the only person here who sees my vision

[notaplaceofhonour]

Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower

[notaplaceofhonour]

that man has been trying to climb this tower since he was 16. he has asked multiple times, and every time they said no, but now he’s famous enough & variety was able to convince them to do a shoot on the tower. it all led here. it was all for this.

[notaplaceofhonour]

I’m obsessed with the implication that this was a coming-of-age ritual where a boy becomes a man, like a bar mitzvah

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

It's always "stop harming yourself or we'll have to lock you up!!!" and never "what do you need to change to want to harm yourself less and how can we help you make some of these changes?" and that's why we're not getting anywhere

[actualized-animal]

Did You Learn?

you can lie on the floor in your home and the Soft Baby who lives there will approach you. this will increase your chance of contact with Nose Wet by 75%

[jojipup]

i luv posting weird and problematic porn that would get me canceled on twitter

[serpexnessie]

Average Tomodachi Life Conversation

[byjove]

It would be kind of fun to have a medical dramamedy show where people (patients and people in the medical field) could submit their craziest experiences with the medical system and those plotlines and patient stories could be dramatized and woven into a cohesive narrative with any additional profits from the show going to pay off medical debt.

[byjove]

Plotline A: Patient is suffering from a near fatal case of hypothermia after passing out in the snow drunk and laying there all night until his 13 year old nephew discovered him in the morning, said 13 year old managed to transport his druncle to the hospital on a snowmobile but the rest of the family cannot make it there due to road conditions.

Plotline B: A live rat fell through the ceiling halfway through an emergency appendectomy, causing the surgeon to startle and rupture the patient’s appendix. Infectious disease is very interested in the situation due to the risk of zoonotic infection. The hospital’s legal department is also very interested in the situation.

[foxglovedforest]

Hey OP what happened to you

[byjove]

I’ve been chronically ill since the age of 14 and I enjoy eavesdropping

[were--ralph]

tumblr is the funniest social media site to go viral on

[were--ralph]

on tiktok people will quit their jobs after going viral once but on here not only can any post get 50k notes, but if it does theres nothing you can do with it. theres no monetization or any transferable skills at all. you just made a funny post and people liked it and thats the start and end of your career

[were--ralph]

you could say "i left the stove on" with no context and it might break containment on here and people start tagging it with ships and kins and theres no way to delete it forever unless staff gets involved. your mistake will never go away but your claim to fame will instantly

[were--ralph]

its like yes im the pineapple werewolf guy but no one outside of here and like 5 posts on reddit will ever know what that sentence means. i could jump on tiktok and no one would know me. no one on youtube or facebook. this is my little corner of the internet and i will die here before i give up that title and when i do know i lost nothing in the process

[chimaerakitten]

My coworkers think I’m soooooo craaazy omg you’re so out there! But truly I’ve just internalized a very tumblr style of humor where given a normal conversation with an opening for comedy I’m always going to select the most absurdist possible dialogue option and then stick to it forever as a bit.