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@thisisnotkitty
i apologize in advance for the madness this blog is about to be, i literally never shut up
Headcanon Kunikida has a really bad memory and that's why he writes everything down.
Like at some point, probably in his childhood, he was scolded over and over about taking responsibility for things like forgetting homework, losing track of time, not meeting deadlines, constantly being late, so his solution was to write everything down in a little notebook. As long as he always had the notebook, he'd never forget.
Checking his notebook twenty times a day to remind himself of all the things he forgets isn't ideal, but it's that or forgetting his homework again and being held back a grade.
So now it's just a habit. He carefully writes down every appointment down to the minute. His ideals are planned out. He's never late. His reports are always turned in on time, according to schedule.
Which is why he's frustrated by people like Dazai, who treat responsibilities like a joke
I just saw the excellent post about Chuuya's loyalty and 1) how he hasn't questioned his philosophy and 2) "In a world where a "path" typically involves challenging the characters' philosophies and forcing them to reevaluate, what the hell is going to have to happen to get Chuuya to do the same?" (quoting you)
Chuuya is always used by others. He's not the only BSD character whose been taken advantage of, but it does seem to be reoccurring with him? First by the government who intended to use him as a super weapon, then by the Sheep who used him for his ability, then by mafia/Mori (getting him to join in exchange for sparing the sheep, keeping his past from him and giving him incentive to become an executive and stay in the organization). He's constantly used for his power.
Please tell me if I'm misinterpreting what you all said, but it seems (to me) that Chuuya ignores the mafia's/Mori's manipulation because they have helped him and given him a home+family, so he's instead loyal to them.
Because even though Mori has not and is using him for his power, he still allows it/goes along with it because they've helped him in the past and earned his loyalty.
So Chuuya tolerates being used.
He's now being used again, obviously, in part, because of his power. We have Fyodor referring to him as just his ability and bragging about how he can "use" him better than Dazai ("doesn't that mean you're unfit to USE a gravity manipulator")
Do you think it's possible that just being vamped and used again will cause him to reflect on his mentality? He's once again being used (but be it in far more blatant way: literal mind control. Also reminds me of Verlaine+his creator). Reflecting on how he's been used in the past and no longer accepting being used by others anymore?
Or do you think it might have the opposite affect and push him deeper into the mafia somehow
Also it's interesting that Fyodor is using him but hasn't earned his loyalty (like the sheep+mafia) and how that'll affect Chuuya
I'll get to the second ask in a bit but I'm combining these because they're related.
About the first ask: I mean, yeah, you're right about this. I don't know that I'd consider it so much "ignoring" though as "the benefits outweigh the costs so whatever", and I do want to state that I'm pretty sure Mori is genuinely at least a little fond of Chuuya (see: their conversation about leadership at the end of Fifteen), and his Mafia colleagues do respect him.
But yeah, you are absolutely right to say that there is a pattern of people who want Chuuya for his ability and his loyalty, and/or reduced him down to these traits. Playing hot potato with the escaped military lab experiment and the Mafia won (<-simplification for the funnies but still).
But here's the thing: if this was the end of it, we might expect to see some resentment mixed in there from Chuuya. He was blackmailed with the Sheep's lives. His past was intentionally locked away from him until he worked his way up to executive. That's... not great.
But instead we find pretty much only gratitude from him. Why?
Well, see, there's a reason I put the return of Chuuya's screwed up self-concept in the tags on that post, because it's kind of at the heart of his impressive loyalty. Chuuya believes that since he is the one with the strongest power, that makes him responsible for protecting everyone else, which means that he rationalizes any concern or protection directed at him as something "above and beyond", and worthy of recognition and repayment. Remember that he genuinely felt like just a vessel for power and nothing else for apparently quite a bit of his childhood, and the Sheep emphasizing that he owed them for taking him in probably did not help.
When it comes to having his back, the Mafia did this for him in a way no one else did. They protect their own, a value that aligns closely with Chuuya's own personal philosophy. The Mafia is also relatively safe from external threat, if we recall Dazai's pitch to Odasaku in Day I Picked Up Dazai - Odasaku is being targeted, but no one in their right mind would challenge the Mafia just to get to him. So, the Mafia has provided Chuuya with protection, comradery, and relative safety, which in my mind all condenses into a central need that takes precedence over everything else to him.
Chuuya's core need is actually stability.
And this makes quite a bit of sense. He started off as a kid with no memories and a whole lot of trauma he couldn't remember the roots of. One's past is a source of stability, but that had been taken from him. His position as leader of the Sheep was shaky. Even his identity as a human being was called into question. Chuuya as a kid and teen was largely untethered, separate from everyone else with no way to ground himself. Under those circumstances, something that originated as a chain could easily become a safety rope.
And once Chuuya found this stability, there was really no need for him to change anything. So he didn't. He settled into his new role and became really, really good at it, and didn't bother to re-evaluate beyond that. Why would he? That minimal core need has been met, despite the rocky beginning.
Which brings me to this second ask because it's actually incredibly relevant. Yes, Chuuya and Sigma are alike. You are not losing it anon.
Let's run a list, shall we? They both awoke with no memories and a missing history, and had their humanity called into question. They were used and blackmailed repeatedly, which they were, fortunately and unfortunately, consciously aware of. When they find something that matters to them, they become violently defensive of it. They both operate on principles of reciprocity and transaction because that is what they believe to be normal in relationships (Sigma's ability even is quite literally a transaction!). They both have pretty low standards for their assistance (Sigma hearing one (1) single person (Atsushi) be kind to him in what he thought were his last moments, Chuuya "You have helped Chuuya! Chuuya will now kill and die for you!" Nakahara).
Above all else, they are looking for stability. They are looking for a home.
As of yet, Sigma hasn't found a true home, but it seems we may be building up to him joining the ADA. The key part is Sigma's realization that the Agency doesn't rely solely on transaction. Dazai is not using the Agency, the Agency is not using Dazai. The Agency members are all helping each other. They care about each other.
Meanwhile, Chuuya has already found a place that provides his core need, but there's one caveat about the Mafia that should be clarified here - as Odasaku says in Dark Era, people within its ranks don't talk about personal matters and feelings with each other, and everyone instead keeps to themselves. If you don't talk about your issues or air them out, relations tend to stay personally shallow and dictated almost entirely by the demands and positions of the organization. This is not a conducive environment for reappraisal or self-exploration.
Unfortunately, this is ideal for Mr. Chuuya "I'll keep all my emotions right here and then one day I'll die" Nakahara.
Chuuya has found some measure of stability - solace in his own self-defined identity in spite of the initial ambiguity as to his humanity. "This is who I am", "Till those flames die down, I can't just do whatever I want", "I'm gonna do what I need to do", etc. But importantly, this identity is entangled in whichever group he happens to be a part of, which in this case is the Mafia. This kind of self-identity cannot exist without the structure of an organization. It relies on the reciprocity of a group.
Moreover, it relies on Chuuya showing very little vulnerability. Compartmentalize, and move on. He expects that of himself.
So, we've established that Chuuya has his core need for stability met by the Mafia - a relatively secure place that runs on transaction, which is familiar to him - yet it also doesn't push him out of his comfort zone with respect to emotional vulnerability and openness. What this means is that, in the Mafia, Chuuya is practically invincible, both physically (his ability, his martial arts prowess) and emotionally (personal life kept hidden and guarded as a Mafia expectation).
Unfortunately, this means Chuuya also remains stagnant as a character, which finally, finally brings me back to your original question anon.
No, I don't think the vampirism is enough to trigger change in Chuuya's character. Chuuya has some standards, and treating him like a tool (and Dazai's tool, no less) is going to seriously piss him off, but that's anger at Fyodor, and it doesn't impact his stability with the Mafia any which way. If Chuuya had've been forced to activate Corruption to escape the drowning then maybe he would've been angry with Dazai enough for something to shift (activation being his own choice is a huge theme with them), but since he didn't, I expect Chuuya will unfortunately just shrug it off and roll with it. Probably yell at him for a bit, but nothing that would have far-reaching consequences for his character unless there is something about his current situation we don't yet know.
I think for Chuuya to grow and change as a character, he needs something major to shift in his life - the threat has to come from within his place of security. He needs to be destabilized. Something needs to happen that specifically targets his tethers and his self-concept.
Personally, my money's on the destabilization of his bond with Mori, who he has the most respect for, because that might trigger development related to leadership and goals, but I guess we'll see. I think it'll probably be incredibly heart wrenching and hurt us all severely, whatever it is.
Huh. I wrote a lot. Congrats for making it to the end! I'm going to sleep now. :D
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Edited by removing the entire middle section because it was absolute garbage and probably should’ve been its own post. I hope the rest of this holds up. That’s what I get for writing things at 2 in the morning I guess.
we’re so back baby and with more soukoku switch au— in this edition, skk compete on making over their mentee’s ‼️
Another silly request
A longer, more in depth (9 parts all in one) terukane analysis, and/or everything i could find, compiled (one of my better pieces of work imo) ⭐️
Ok so it might be the fact that i ship them so i see alot of things they do as possibly romantic even when theres no romantic undertones, but the amount of times it feels like AidaIro seems to be implying that teru likes akane is getting to a suspiciously high number. Like lets look at this from a non-shipper’s pov
Item A: teru looking at akane
If you told me (with context) this was a STRAIGHT man looking at another STRAIGHT man, i’d be a little iffy (for lack of better words). Without the fact that he’s looking at akane, he genuinely looks like he’s showing something of raw emotion, unchanged by his “fake persona” but a genuine reaction. I mean i wouldn’t say “omg hes so in lovveee!!!” But considering he doesn’t really open up to like anyone, i think this is definitely something.
Item B: them going together on a romantic outing
Yes i did make it sound much more compelling then it actually is but cmon man. The school festival is considered a “romantic event” and these two spent the entire time hanging around the school together. Giving the excuse that "it's our job being in the student council" (which i guess it is) but in reality it was because no one wanted to come with them.
Which i mean they also did technically go on an actual date together
also nene looking like a hamster 😭😭
Item C: teru trusting akane more than anyone (?)
Teru likes talking to akane, trusts his intellect, and considers him someone he can rely on but doesn't like it when his whole world starts to revolve around aoi. My guy, that's jealousy.
He is shown to trust him and even show his back to him in multiple instances, knowing he wont hurt him, and he’s someone he can trust (lets ignore what happens on the literal next page)
Even literally being one of those “i fight alone” type of people but when akane’s there, he’s never fighting alone
Item D: not sure if thats whats happening here but im pretty sure he tried rizzing akane up, even going as far as to blush, all so he doesnt rule him guilty
And then got agitated when it didn’t work
Item E: akane knows teru better than we think
When kou and teru were fighting, the reason teru even walked out in the first place was because of the fireworks. And whos idea was that?
Akane’s. He knew he liked fireworks and that they’d lure him out of his room. And again, he was right
Item F: valentines day event
i dont think i even need to break this one down. Its a picture of JUST them TOGETHER posted on VALENTINES DAY. 2/14/24. THE ANNUAL HOLIDAY THAT CELEBRATES NONE OTHER THAN ROMANTIC LOVE. Also teru’s color being used as akane’s sparkles and akane’s color being used as teru’s sparkles kinda shows that AidaIro arent just showing us two characters, they’re showing us TERU and AKANE, TOGETHER. If it really could be anyone im sure they’d put them in a general setting, but with the paired colors i’d say that says otherwise.
some might say they’re looking at eachother
Item G: possible fruit symbolism
first off, this picture.
First lets look at hanako’s. We can see he has two drinks, both red + with strawberries, along with a red straw. While also being pictured near other red fruits.
In this picture, nene’s flower(s) are literally strawberry flowers, putting the association between strawberries + nene out there. Meaning the strawberries in his drink could be purposeful, along with the red undertones. (red being her eye color) (sorry for quality im doin this on iPhone)
Moving on to teru’s, he has one drink, being yellow-ish with pineapple on the side, and chunks in the drink itself. Whilst his straw is orange, while also being pictured around a ginormous pinapple
And this isnt the first time we’ve seen him pictured with pineapples
This god awful picture unfortunately exists so im adding it as proof/evidence for my argument. (Oh and not to mention akane has green pants on so everyone’s a lil funky igs)
notice how as soon they got to his house his outfit changed? This is him when they got to his house (clearly in a long-sleeve shirt, not the hoodie)
this is him with akane + nene going on a date
All within the same chapter i think, but him changing outfits i feel like says something. Like we’re supposed to associate that with something other than aoi (them talking ab how to save her at his house) or his family. He even straight up left when they started talking ab how they missed aoi at the karaoke place. (More or so when he left they started talking but ykwim) Since nene is being associated with strawberries it leaves the only other person to be akane, this making sense also because of the straw color. (The straw being orange)
also the fact that fruit is literally associated with the queer community
Item H: triangles + queer symbolism
Quick history lesson, A triangle has been a symbol for the queer community, initially intended as a badge of shame, but later reclaimed as a positive symbol of self-identity. In Nazi Germany in the 1930s and 1940s, it began as one of the Nazi concentration camp badges, distinguishing those imprisoned because they had been identified by authorities as gay men. In the 1970s, it was again, reclaimed as a symbol of protest against homophobia, and has since been adopted by the larger queer community as a popular symbol of queer pride. More or so, the upsidown triangle. and guess whos ALWAYS wearing a fucking upsidown triangle
My guy has one for EVERY OUTFIT 😭 also im not even shitting you i would add more but ive reached the limit of 30 photos per post
Item I: extras
This picture. Him holding akane’s shirt and aoi’s bag really shows that AidaIro REALLY doesn’t want us to know which one he likes 😭 (if you’re confused, to sum it up AidaIro did a really good job keeping teru’s stance on the “love triangle” between akane, teru and aoi, ambiguous. If you are STILL confused go check out my other analysies i only have like 5 other posts, they go more in depth ab it)
Him looking at akane after he ate his “home made cooking” 😭 ALSO HIS EYES?? Dude they’re glistening. And the slight blush too
In the “kiss comic” part of the art book, not only are teru and akane’s on the same page, but they also look like they go together
Thats all i got for now (´-ω-`) MAN this took me like 5 different consecutive days. I wrote like 3 parts on one day, 2 more parts the next, and 1 more part today. 😭 hope you enjoyed and this re-gave you faith that terukane might be canon one day 😔 fake it till you make it
Feel free to comment and tell me ab anything i may have missed!! :3
No because sometimes if I think about it long enough I can see terukane possibly being canon.
One of the main reasons is because having Teru end up with Aoi kind of undermines either of their character development. It's the two popular characters getting together which is a bit too stereotypical especially after what we now know about them respectively, yknow?
Another of my big reasons which is less credible but just- WHY make two characters with the same name? Why go through the trouble of having an Akane Aoi and and Aoi Akane? Sure it could just be for a silly goofy joke but I feel like writing wise there has to be some moment when one of the characters is referred to and everyone thinks its the other one (does that make any sense?)
And who do we see frequently interact with Aoi and Akane?
Teru.
“A Meeting with the Sun” - Art from My Hero Ultra Impact
is it a minamoto brother thing to blush at akane and get flustered
i know that securitywaiter nation is dead but was anybody gonna tell me that ness is actually the son of the owner of the sparky's diner or did i just have to watch matpat's latest theory to find that out?
Spa Day 🫧
"He was flirting with you!"
"Yes? That's what he does?"
"You don't care?!"
"He doesn't mean it. It's fine."
mixing up aus is a passion of mine
It's been so long since I cooked up ridiculous things I love this template
oh i am so glad that someone is joining me in the terukaneaoi train😭😭 it was getting so lonely /hj
but i'm excited for ur new ideas about this train!!
I couldn't get your "Akane have two hands" ask out of my head, so all I can offer for now is this quick art
I LOVE AKA SO MUCH, AND 80S AKANE TOO!! WILL YOU EVER TALK ABOUT HIS LIFE BEFORE A SUPERNATURAL IN THE FIC?
Unfortunately, I won't explore Akane's life in the fic. Aka has no connection to his previous identity.
I'm happy you're enjoying the Au tho! Here is a handful of fun facts about him:
Since he couldn't escape supernaturals with an enchanted pair of glasses, he had to face them all the time, and have grown to hate them far more than canon Akane.
When he was in a bad mood he went out of his way to destroy any supernatural creature he spotted.
One of his more recent friends was a bit of a delinquent, she smoked a lot, which is illegal for minors in japan. Akane tried to help her quit as best he could. She made a lot of progress but his death undid all of it.
The smoking friend is the one that made him want to get piercings.
Akane was really good at the guitar. Mirai liked when he played fast songs, it was one of the few things that could make her stay still for a few minutes.
He died from a head injury.
Mei and Aka!
For those interested, here is some lore:
Aka had met the human Mei, Mei-chan, and grown attached to her very quickly. He was only interested in her drawings at first, loving how she could create things out of nothing, and fascinated by how she could draw something he knew, like an umbrella, but make it look far more enchanting than a real-life umbrella.
He stole a few of her drawings and sketches when he found an opportunity, much to Mei-chan’s distress.
He stalked her through school, his interest soon switching to her as a person. He didn’t feel any romantic attraction towards Mei-chan, but he did love her. He rolled her pencils and brushes close to her desk when they fell and admired her passion, always sad to see her go when school ended.
Sometimes he drew in his ghost book while Mei-chan painted in her canvas. His draws always look awful near Mei’s but he have fun, able to pretend they are drawing together instead of being a ghost she cannot see.
When Mei-chan got sick she started to kind of sense Aka, seeing flashes of red when she stayed the whole afternoon drawing noon stop, or swearing the weird cold in the art room had weight. She got inspired by it, creating a character inspired by him and giving leaving on the table, speaking to the air it was a gift for him. Aka didn’t care that the character was a girl or that many of the details about this ‘angel of the art room’ were wrong, he still put the drawing on his memory book, touched that she gave him a gift. He could tell whenever she talked to him she was talking to herself mostly, but he still listened to her every words, be it happy rambles, or her frustration over not knowing which of all her ideas to draw she should pick.
When she stopped coming to school, he didn’t really understand what was happening.
Aka only wears his clock keeper cloak when he is at rock bottom, it’s his equivalent of hiding under the covers. He didn’t let go of his cloak for the whole week when the tower painting was donated to the school and the rumors Mei-chan committed suicide became the most popular in school.
He met Shijima, the supernatural, when she became No.4.
He got intrigued by her after connecting her existence with Mei-chan’s rumor, not leaving her alone after he learned she is one of her friend’s creations. He loves all of Mei’s creations, so he is sure Shijima is wonderful, and he visits her all the time.
Shijima is jealous Aka met Mei-chan before she was created, oblivious to how much pain she went through at the hospital but still knowing her creator better than Shijima at times. She likes him though, finding comfort in the fact he remembers her as a loved and passionate girl that gets inspired by life and is very passionate about her drawings.
Their views are very different and their core beliefs too, but they bond over how much the rumors hurt them, and how similar their dry humor is, talking shit about the other mysteries and making morbid jokes.
Mei doesn’t talk much about herself but Aka is very observant he notice she doesn’t like herself or her drawings, able to get her to open up a bit with time and reassuring her Mei-chan was a very kind girl, she wouldn’t blame her for a rumor out of her control, in fact, she would want Shijima to have fun, live to the fullest. He gives her the draws he had stolen from Mei-chan years ago, all very beautiful and happy pictures, feeling like Shijima would value them more. Shijima considers her drawings real and valuable in a way her own drawings never will be.
Aka asks to visit her canvas world a lot to pretend to be human. He insists to drag a clone of her with him, since he loves her and everything is more fun with a good friend! So she does occasionally find some worth in her creations, but he was never able to convince her she has worth as a person. No matter how much genuine joy her silly creations bring Aka, or how much hope and good intentions Mei-chan put into her, it will never change realirt: Her existence will never be worth ruining Mei-chan’s truth.
After five years, Aka forget about Mei-chan, assuming any Mei mentioned is Shijima.
Shijima is distraught when she learn about his amnesia, trying to find a way to fix this, to make him remember, cause while a selfish part of her feels like she should be the one to know Mei-chan better than anyone, a more desperate part want as many people to know the truth as possible. She doesn’t want to be alone.
Shijima thinks the canvas world will be enough, it reflects the ‘protagonist’ wishes after all, and she knows Aka used to adore Mei-chan, but she is betrayed to see Aka still has no memories in the canvas world. Getting his memories back simply isn’t something Aka cares about. He doesn’t miss the human Mei. He let go of the past.
Shijima never forgives him for forgetting Mei-chan completely, for valuing the present over the truth.
She uses her power to forcefully give his memories back, trying to get what she wants for once, hoping at least this much was possible. She goes overboard, moved out of mostly spite, and it backfires badly. Aka gets all his memories back, not just the ones with Mei-chan, but with the other mysteries too, all the way to when he was Akane. He cannot keep track or process years of memories being shoved in his head, from 80s Akane’s paranoid mentality which doesn’t match Aka’s own mentality, to his owb death, which have been caused by Kako and Mirai, who Aka love like a family.
He begs Mei to get him out of the canvas world, and she is so startled to see him this freaked out that she hesitantly set her grudge to the side to take him out. His memory immediately gets faulty again when they get out, even worse than they used to be. What used to take up to seven years for Aka to forget, now took four years at most to be whipped out.
Shijima no longer paints canvas worlds for him. She genuinely hates him.
When Aka eventually forgets their fight too, Shijima just feels defeated. She gave up on finding a way to give Aka’s memories back. She give up on preserving Mei-chan’s memory. She give up on changing the rumors. There really was no way to save Mei. She would need to kill Mei-chan before the cursed tower painting was donated to the school.
Despite her best attempts, she still has a soft spot for Aka, cause he seems to always know what’s bothering her. She can’t take him serious, knowing no matter how touched he sounds when he thanks her for making him experience having a heartbeat, claiming the fictional experience makes him appreciate their reality more, it’s still useless, because he’ll forget it.
But if she must never stop drawing anyways. She doesn’t mind drawing for Aka, as long as she keeps a glass wall between them, shutting him down whenever he tries to talk about her or say something that hit too close to home, they can stay ‘friends’. She likes his sense of humor and after all and she likes how easy it is to trick him. He is also a very good audience, a ‘costumer’ that appreciated any draw she does for him. Is enough.
AKANE SLEEP WITH EAR PLUGS??