this ship of theseus @thisshipoftheseus - Tumblr Blog

Good news that we deserve 😌

for people who can’t watch the video: THE AMYGDALA CHANGES TRADITIONALLY FOUND IN MOTHERS SHOW UP IN ALL PRIMARY CAREGIVERS REGARDLESS OF SEX

Changes in this part of the brain were previously used to previously used to argue that women are the ideal primary caretakers of children in all cases. And apparently, it’s false. The reason they found these changes in women was that women were already the primary caretaker in almost all cases, not because there’s something inherent to women that makes them better parents.

this is big news for SAHF and single dads!

legend-of-the-fandoms

This is also big news for adoptive parents and queer couples! Many people try to argue that adoptive parents aren't real parents because of biology and blah blah blah. Bigots will also argue this case against queer people. So, to all my traditionalists: it's not science! It's bigotry and sexist!

stele3

The first few months of being a parent are a sensitive period.

dailymanners

This is why paid parental leave for all parents regardless of gender is so crucial. All parents need and deserve time to bond with their children. When only one parent is given parental leave, that parent is naturally going to have more time to develop a bond to that child than the parent who immediately goes back to work. This will, inevitably, create a lifelong imbalance in who does most, or all, of the childcare. Equal paid parental leave regardless of gender benefits all parents and all children.

finnglas

when i was a tiny baby queer (aka a 24-year-old), i went to my first pride festival probably three months after i kicked ex-gay therapy to the curb and came out to my parents. being the people they are, my parents came with me. they weren’t really sure about this whole gay thing, but they loved me and wanted me to be safe and happy and wanted to be involved in what was important to me, so they came along. (i also think my mother still might have thought i might get drugged or murdered or beaten by a protester of which there were plenty.)

anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.

i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? what’d you get? so i showed her, and i was like, “I’m not sure why it’s a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.”

and my mom, who was some form of minister’s wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks i’m joking.

“What?” i say.

“…it’s a cock and a pussy, Jules,” she says flatly, and that is the story of how i died at the age of 24 while attending my first pride festival.

finnglas

I love how every June this one gets dug up and passed around again, lmao.

finnglas

oh no is this what we’re doing now

finnglas

…relic…

*crumbles and blows away on the wind*

lesvegas

A few years ago while trying to find ways to commit suicide as painlessly as possible, I came across a PDF of Dr. Paul Quinnett's The Forever Decision. Thinking it might go into actual methods of suicide (I read an article once that actually did that and was trying to find it again) I started to read it, and I think I only got about two pages in before I was crying too much to actually see the words.

I downloaded the PDF to my hard drive and I open it again whenever I'm feeling too suicidal to do much else, but not enough to start booking a ride to the hospital. And every time without fail I only go up to a few pages before backing off and choosing to live another day just because suicide suddenly seems even more unbearable than whatever the hell upset me in the first place.

All the book really does is [I'm pulling a summary from GoodReads here as, again, I've read no more than 5 pages] "discusses the social aspects of suicide, the right to die, anger, loneliness, depression, stress, hopelessness, drug and alcohol abuse, the consequences of a suicide attempt, and how to get help."

But it also starts with the author kindly asking the reader to complete the book before going through with anything, and for some reason I'm compelled to really just try to read it all before finalizing everything. Despite not yet completing it (hopefully never will) I think I can safely say it's saved my life at least a few times now.

It's intentionally legal to copy and redistribute this book to keep it as accessible as possible, and it's very easy to find, but here's a link for it anyways.

prismatic-bell

I found the institute he heads, the QPR Institute, which focuses on suicide prevention, and sent them a note of gratitude and told them the book is being passed around here.

I was answered by the national coordinator, who's passing my comment on to Dr. Quinnett.

So if you saw this post and you're in that place so dark where "does it really matter, though? Nobody even knows I exist" feels like a very true statement:

Somebody does know, actually. He wrote this book, and he's very glad it found its way to you, and he wants you alive. In fact he's dedicated the last 40 years of his life to that goal. He knows you exist because it was important to me to give him the chance to know about you.

So will you do him, and me, a favor, and give it one more day?

I've given it fifteen years so far, and it's gotten a hell of a lot better than I ever imagined it could.

spankerella

@ perfectunion

worse-than-konstantin-levin

Drivers in Massachusetts for ride-hailing apps such as Uber and Lyft have become the first in the nation to certify a union.

May 27th, 2026

#usa politics

sometiktoksarevalid

shower-thoughts-last-responder

Face of pure devastation and of a man questioning absolutely everything

#game changer

destiel-news-channel

because someone decided to drop the word 'ethostate' in the comments of a post about israel again, i thought we could play around with some numbers.

According to a 2023 statistic Jews make up about 73 % of Israel's population. Let's compare that with some other countries. (While ethnostate actually refers to racial or ethnic groups and Judaism isn't 'just a religion', I will also give examples for the demographics of religions in countries)

Let's start with the EU: According to statistics from 2019 about 64% of the EU's population were Christian, a decline from 72% in 2012. So what? In 2012 the EU was actually a Christian ethnostate? Or at least consisted of ethnostates? I mean if we think about it, we have to follow the Christian calendar, Christian holidays are mandated by the state while other religious groups have to fight every year to be able to observe their most sacred days. Hell, where I live (in Germany) one of the currently ruling parties is called the Christian Democratic Union and our Grundgesetz (basic law) is built upon Christian roots. They even invoke God in the preamble!

Here some further statistics about Religion in Europe.

As you can see even just looking at individual Christian denominations, there are about 6 countries for which the religious majority makes up more than 3/4th of the population. IN THESE COUNTRIES ONE DENOMINATION OF CHRISTIANITY HAS A HIGHER POPULATION PERCENTAGE THAN JEWS IN ISRAEL. So I hope this shows that 'Israel is an ethnostate cause there is just one religion determining everything' is utter bullshit not just because Judaism is not just a religion but also because I can name 6 countries in Europe alone for which there is a higher percentage of people of a certain religion.

So now to actually look at specific countries. Ireland especially seems to have an antisemitism problem, so how about we focus on them.

As of 2022 the amount of Catholics in Ireland has decreased so that they actually make up 69.1% of the population as opposed to the over 75% from 2019. But the definition of ethnostates actually specifically looks at ethnic or racial groups. Let's see. As of 2022 the largest ethnic group in were White Irish, making up a whole 76.5% of the Irish population. Including other white people in this, this number increases to 87.4% of the population. That is 14% more than the 73% that Jews make up of the Israeli population. The next largest group in Ireland are Asians with 3.7% (or depending on how you'd like to spin it, the 6.16% who did not state their ethnicity. This still doesn't make Ireland an ethnostate though.

And some more examples:

China: 91.11% Han Chinese (2020)

Russia: 71.73% ethnic Russians (2021)

Saudi Arabia: 90% Arabs, 10% Afro-Arabs (2021)

USA: 57.84% White (2020)

Canada: 69.8% White (2022)

Germany: 71.3% Germans (2022)

Democratic Republic of Congo: no dominant ethnic group

South Africa: 81.4% Black

Just so it is completely clear: It is not my intention to call any of the countries listed here an ethnostate, rather I want to detail the absurdity of calling Israel an ethnostate, when you can look at demographics and see many other countries with similar or higher percentages of ethnic (or racial or religious) majorities.

shofarsogood

Poland's ethnic makeup today: 99% white, with 98% being ethnic Poles

Poland in 1931, before the Holocaust: Polish, 69% of the population, Ukrainian, 15%, Jews 8.5%, Belarusian, 4.70%, German, 2.2%, Russian 0.25%, Lithuanian, 0.25%, Czech 0.09%

Please explain to me why Poland isn't blamed for their massive ethnic cleansing and the fact that their country is nearly homogenous.

That's an ethnostate to me!

gentlewordsdaily

There is a very specific kind of sadness in realizing your parents loved you, and still did not always know how to meet your emotional needs.

Because it is confusing. It would almost feel easier if there was no love there at all. But sometimes there was love. In the way they tried to protect you. In the sacrifices they made. In the ways they worried about you, cared for you, wanted a good life for you.

And at the same time, there were still things missing.

Maybe comfort did not come in the way you needed it to. Maybe your feelings were not always understood, or noticed, or handled gently. Maybe you learned to keep certain parts of yourself quiet because it felt easier than trying to explain them.

That kind of hurt is difficult because it does not always come from cruelty. Sometimes it comes from people who loved you deeply, but did not know how to emotionally connect in the ways you needed. People carrying their own wounds, limitations, fears, or ways of surviving.

And you are allowed to acknowledge both truths at once.

You are allowed to recognize their love and still grieve what you needed but did not receive. Those things do not cancel each other out.

Forgiveness, for a lot of people, is not pretending nothing hurt you. It is slowly accepting that someone can love you and still fall short of understanding you completely.

That does not make your pain dramatic. It does not make them monsters either. Sometimes it just means everyone was trying with the emotional tools they had, and some of those tools were not enough.

And I think many people quietly carry guilt for still feeling hurt by parents they know tried their best. But being loved imperfectly can still leave wounds. It makes sense that it affected you.

At the same time, you do not have to stay trapped only in anger forever either. Sometimes healing looks like understanding that your parents were human before they were parents. People shaped by their own experiences, their own upbringing, their own emotional gaps.

That understanding does not erase your feelings. It just softens the sharp edges around them a little.

You deserved emotional safety. You deserved gentleness. You deserved to feel understood, comforted, and emotionally close to the people raising you.

And if they could not fully give that to you, it is okay to mourn it.

But I hope you also know this: the love you needed is still something you can experience in your life. Through other people. Through chosen family. Through the way you learn to treat yourself now.

The story does not end at what you did or did not receive growing up.

You are still allowed softness after all of it 🤍

kenshitty

can i get a fucking ETA on “this too shall pass”?

fforsythiaaa

Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as “problematic” in class and our professor was like, “That’s cool, but ‘problematic’ doesn’t really mean anything. It means that the thing you’re describing has a problem, and in and of itself that’s not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else it’s not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like you’re trying to say that this is bad, but you don’t want to say ‘bad.’ Is that right?”

So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”

Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.

Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I can’t help but think of this professor being like, “Good starting point, now let’s get specific.” I think when we have to commit to saying “that’s ___” it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever we’re claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes it’s art, and it should be full of problems, because that’s what art is.

hypokeimena

#'this is present in the text' is often a good first step #but those second and third ones (naming it; describing its function) are vital (via @elucubrare)

slothful-rabbit

I laughed so fucking hard at this

paint-lady

#quiltbag #happy pride

sunflowermp4

Network Effect, Martha Wells

#murderbot diaries

sirnoblesquid

got a little bit bored and did this

#fma #equivalent exchange

witchesversuspatriarchy

Same

allthefoolmine

Reblog if you too do not want to share outside with them.

hallwaysss

Genuinely I think this might be the most important scene in the book

hallwaysss

@carlyraejepsans how does it feel to be the most correct person ever. You're so right

#project hail mary

odyver

alright I've got to do some quick math to explain attitudes towards AI to my boss.

we're looking to create an AI policy, and when we were talking about this, my boss (older millennial) was genuinely shocked to hear that younger people do not (seem) to view AI positively (a la the recent commencement speakers being booed)

please rb for larger sample size!

Question 1/3

What is your age, and do you feel AI is a net positive or net negative in our lives today?

under 18, AI is a net positive

under 18, AI is a net negative

18-29, AI is a net positive

18-29, AI is a net negative

30-45, AI is a net positive

30-45, AI is a net negative

46-60, AI is a net positive

46-60, AI is a net negative

over 60, AI is a net postive

over 60, AI is a net negative

Remaining time: 3 days 3 hours

odyver

Question 2/3

How often do you visit or interact with museums/archives (whether in person or online)?

Frequently (multiple times per month)

Often (multiple times per year)

Occasionally (a couple times per year)

Rarely (once every couple of years)

Never :(

Remaining time: 3 days 4 hours

odyver

Question 3/3

If you saw a museum was using AI in exhibits, marketing, research, etc., would you be more or less inclined to visit that museum?

under 18, more inclined

under 18, less inclined

18-29, more inclined

18-29, less inclined

30-45, more inclined

30-45, less inclined

46-60, more inclined

46-60, less inclined

over 60, more inclined

over 60, less inclined

Remaining time: 3 days 4 hours

Thank you for helping with this data collection. Please rb for as big a sample as possible!

🫶

tpwrtrmnky

A lot of the time when I point out that some right-wing policy is proven to not achieve the thing it purports to have as a goal, people rightly point out that the real goal is the negative outcomes that do happen.

Which is correct!

But this is often framed as me approaching the right wing naively by the respondent.

That's not the case at all. I know they're evil. The goal is to demonstrate that they're lying by exposing the way the rhetoric fails to line up with reality.

This has to be ongoing work because someone new has their political awakening every day. Every day, someone needs to learn that the right wing position is wrong on all levels, not just the obvious ones.

realflaminglily

there will be people out there who still think the war on drugs (as the absolute first thing that comes to mind) is a legitimate social cause against an antisocial blight on society. if you come out the gate with (the very true statement) that it's actually been a deliberate campaign to target minorities and other undesirable groups to the ruling class, you're going to sound like a clueless conspiracy nut

whereas if you come with a very defensible, statistically supported point of "it doesn't work and has never worked" you can open the door to the follow up question of "why did the government do it in the first place, and (in many cases) why are they still doing it?"

tpwrtrmnky

This, exactly.

The play is to:

Demonstrate that the policy doesn't work

Demonstrate that the people enforcing the policy have everything they need to know it doesn't work

Provide the context of what the policy achieves in the absence of its "intended" outcome.

Remind people that the purpose of a system is what it does.

Then, instead of being a non-sequitur claim you're just pulling out of thin air, the conclusion is the most reasonable way to assemble the provided puzzle pieces.

sunderwight

Yup.

Also a lot of people having a rough time also tend to want to simplify, and sometimes aren't interested in empathizing.

Someone going well what if I just take a fucking sledgehammer to this situation and fuck anyone who gets hit by the debris if it solves this problem, do not need to hear that the sledgehammer will have lasting negative consequences for others, they need to hear that it won't solve the problem.

entropically-intersex

I don't like the new asexual flag at all. It is centering love way too much as an essential part of being ace. Especially speaking as one that doesn't have the ability to always feel love collectively. The pastel yellow is also... very conflicting to me because of the way its used.

prismatic-bell

New...flag...?

changeling-droneco

So someone designed a new ace flag and got a ton of backlash from a mix of actual critique and just racism. Which she didn't deserve any of the like, racism, to be clear.

The way she kinda presented it as the official new flag even though she didn't mean that to be the old flag wasn't still to be used really rubbed people the wrong way. People found this extra egregious because making the ace flag was a huge community effort made through AVEN and lots of voting all the way back in 2010, picking the asexual flag was a HUGE community thing. So seeing it get dismissed as outdated and framing its lack of changes since as a bad thing was very much a BAD WAY to express the desire for a new flag.

Especially since it seemed to not take into account any of the history and feel very focused on new aces. Along with the language again failing to sound at all like she wasn't just trying to completely change the flag for personal taste and distance the community from the one we've been using with basically no complaints for nearly two decades

From what I can find a big reason she decided on making a new ace flag was based on not agreeing? on the flag stripe meanings? Which to be honest I don't think I've met anyone who overly cares about the flag stripe meaning, I seriously doubt most people could name what each stripe of the gay flag means let alone when we get more complicated then bisexual.

Specifically with the white stripe which stands for allies, which she thought was weird to have in such a big role and be centralized in anyway. Which, having seen the shit aphobes have put our allies through and the specific dynamics that can go into asexual relationships even with straight partners, I disagree extremely heavily with this. However I also understand why a lot of people would want to change it.

So instead of just... changing the meaning, which we could totally just do without changing a single other thing because lets be so real how many aces actually knew the meanings, she made a whole new flag and presented it as just objectively superior even if she may not have meant for it. Especially since so many people didn't even know there was any sort of polling or anything about this topic. I sure didn't.

This all sparked a lot of outrage, with one big point against it being that Love is something actually very hot button controversial in the ace community. Having it so highlighted in the flag despite the efforts of those of the loveless identity to fight that derogatory "well just because we're ace doesn't mean we don't loooove" standpoint. See op above.

So people got real mad, and because Grace is black, means some people were ~really racist~ about that anger at least so I've heard since a lot of this happened on instagram and you can't make me use instagram for longer then like ten minutes if forced but I fully am willing to just believe because it feels obvious it would. Which also sparked a conversation on race in the community which some people definitely took too far in the opposite direction to say all critique of the flag was done out of racism so now everyone's agitated and annoyed!

Again, I do want to reiterate that Grace did not deserve all the racism and hate, just because a black woman did something perhaps not as well as possible or worded things badly or just made a mistake or however you read it doesn't mean she deserves to get strapped into a pyre. At worst we are two people in the same community with a disagreement over the flag and its purpose. That's it. Our community should be held accountable for the racism and we should examine our biases as a group. Though the turning the whole thing into a race thing of "only racists dont like it" to shut down all negative discussion even aimed to be constructive is kinda stupid ngl.

At the end of the day there's nothing inherently wrong with just having more flags even if it was framed poorly. I personally think its ugly and dislike how it was presented. The framing of it like its some software update or logo rebranding gives me major ick so I likely won't ever associate with it any time soon. However, if other people like it then sure, whatever, their choice, not my business.

But yeah, that's been the ace discourse for the last like month or two, I really think a lot of this could have been avoided if she just... framed it less like she was making the true successor to the ace flag everyone should use (which she very much did even if she didn't think so due to a lot of her language sounding kinda corporate talking about logo change with statements like "Whether this change to the flag will be implemented or not") and instead leaned more into it being something to go along with the ace flag as like, a bonus. Race 100% did play a role in the backlash, i dont want to understate that, but it definitely was pretty poorly presented from the start.

Honestly the whole thing is just kinda stupid and I cannot imagine it catching on but hey thats what I said about the sunset lesbian flag debacle and look at the world now so who knows, not me.

prismatic-bell

Ugh. On all fronts.

I get the impression this person is very young. She did a dumb thing, but she doesn't deserve this treatment.

#quiltbag

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