a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay
neville: *messes up his potion*
gordon ramsay: *holds neville between two slices of bread* what are you
neville: an idiot sandwich
no no no!
Imagine that this is Gordon Ramsay a la Masterchef Junior
Neville: *messes up the potion, realizes it, starts crying quietly*
GR: What’s going on?
Neville: *explains how he messed up*
GR: Oh gosh okay…we can fix this, don’t cry, see, it’s fine now? Just be more careful when you’re adding the Newt’s eyes, all right? Drop them in gently. There we go. No more tears.
Neville: *giggles wetly, wiping eyes*
Yes, he only screams when he’s dealing with people that claim to know what they’re doing and clearly dont, when he’s teaching he’s very kind and patient because they’re still learning.
He’d probably do the bread thing to Malfoy.
nononononono. I get that Malfoy is a bit of a twat, but he’s still a kid. It’d be the teachers fucking up that he’d have trouble with.
Ramsay: All you had to do was treat it with a fucking Beozar!
Slughorn: It was a stressfu-
Ramsay: How long have you been teaching potions?!
or
Ramsay: So you’re going to raise this boy SPECIFICALLY so he can die as part of your twisted little scheme?
Dumbledore: It’s for the greater good, professor.
Ramsay: The greater fucking good?! *holds two slices of bread either side of dumbledoor’s face* What are you?
Dumbledore: Am I, per chance, an idiot sandwich?
Ramsay: Yes, you fucking are.
Okay, now I can reblog it!
@marauders4evr
Fantastic!
@alrightanakin
I’m in love
I MUST HAVE REBLOGGED A THOUSAND TIMESSSS
My favorite Gordon Ramsey moment is from the latest season of Master Chef Jr.
Gordon had run in to help a group of struggling kids with a team challenge and one of the older kids, a 12 year old boy, wasn’t passing attention while taking a pan out of the oven and not only spilled all the food but scalded Gordon.
It’s clear Gordon’s leg is in pain. He’s been badly burned without warning. But he doesn’t scream. He doesn’t yell, not even in pain, and he doesn’t go off on the child who is now frozen in fear. He calmly tells the child to set the pan down and to close the oven, safety first. Then tells him to go restart the food he was making, calm instructions.
My husband and I grew up in abusive homes where any mistake meant parents getting angry (my husband is terrified of spills or broken glasses because that meant beatings growing up, for me, anything going wrong, that could upset my mother, even if it wasn’t my fault meant screaming and emotional abuse).
I didn’t know someone could be so calm. That someone could not get angry, and put aside what they’re feeling (in this case a lot of physical pain) and not take it out on those around them, even when someone around them had messed up, because that person is a child.
Gordon Ramsey is a survivor of child abuse himself and as an adult, the most non-abusive person ever when it comes to kids.
im going to cry can gordon ramsey be my parent this sound so beautiful
Please take a moment to picture Gordon Ramsay taking over Potions when Snape becomes the DADA professor (instead of Slughorn) and not only being horrified when he realizes how terrified the students are that he’ll verbally abuse them when they mess up in Potions class but when he overhears how Snape treats students. Like can you IMAGINE the level of RAGE and CONTEMPT that Ramsay would harbor towards Snape? The asshat wouldn’t have made it to the end of HBP. Ramsay would’ve hexed his ass to kingdom come.
Rebloging ALL of this because Chef Ramsay is THE MAN!
-HC
Chef Ramsay would have become the kids’ favourite teacher and you can’t take that away from me.
Imagine him dealing with Umbridge
Every time I reblog this post, I swear to God, it only gets better.
Someboby needs to write a fanfic about this!
<posts this>
Keep reading
Please tell me you have a chapter 2! I want Ramsey at Hogwarts being all encouragement and support with the kids, then verbally flaying Snape!
Boom. <3
Guys. Guys please read this fic, I beg of you. IT’S SO GOOD. If any of y'all following me are Harry Potter fans (and many of you are, I’m sure) please read this fic, i cannot reccomend it highly enough
It’s masterfully done. This whole weekend I could hardly put it down. The only reason I could sleep last night was because my emotions needed a break.
I don’t cry while reading books or watching movies. I often want to cry during sad scenes, and my eyes often get watery, but the tears don’t fall. I can’t remember the last time a story made me actually cry. The deaths in Harry Potter canon? Sadness, but no physical tears. Mufasa’s death in the Lion King? Again, sad inside but no crying. The Fault in Our Stars? Nope. I tell you this so that you know what a big deal it is to me that this fic made me sob like a baby. Multiple times. A couple of times I had to stop reading because I couldn’t see the screen through my tears!
And these characters? I would die for these characters. Most of them are are minor characters in canon (many are so minor that canon only mentioned them by name one time) but they’ve been built up and fleshed out so beautifully in this fic and I love them so much. And the characters who did have personalities in canon? I love them so much more now. I love all of the main cast of this fic. Some of them took a little while to make their mark but by god they have made it and I adore them now. I think they’re now my favourite characters in any version of the Potterverse. They have become dear to my heart. Go read the fic so that they can be dear to yours too.
Oh my GOD! Just – WOW. OVERWHELMEDBYTHELOVEICAN’T
Thank you so much for such a wonderful reblog and review! Seriously, thank you! You’ve made my whole day, week, and possibly month. I’m so, so touched that you enjoyed my story so much!! xoxo
