thorin oakenshield

thorin oakenshield gave up the mithril to protect bilbo in light of knowing that he was going to most likely die and that's something we have to accept.

[aimmyarrowshigh]

I can’t believe Daisy Jazz Isobel Ridley heard it was my birthday!

[northeasternwind]

I’m still not okay with this ending omg where is the talibrimbor we deserve

(Shadow of Mordor: 1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7) (Shadow of War: 1)

[miumilta]

imagine a video game where you create a hero whose destiny is to save everyone, but throughout the game you start making harder and more questionable decisions, and the game gets darker and darker. and in the end you’re just standing there, clutching the controller and finally realizing you were playing the villain all along

[sasheenka]

[mishacolins]

[halfprincesshalfgoddess]

You: Weird flex but ok

Me, an intellectual:

[verycorrectlotr]

the silmarillion according to someone who read the first 8 pages and got distracted

everything i know is from tumblr. feel free to use me as an academic source shgjkdsg.

the cast:

aule: he’s every dwarf’s dad. 10/10 coolest valar. just wants to be left alone with his short beardy children. (except for feanor. he’s a “lover of feanor” whatever jirt meant by that hjskg)

beleg: turin’s boyfriend?? got stabbed. by turin. whether or not this was during intercourse is debatable.

beren: luthien’s arm candy. moving on.

celebrimbor: got into a lot of hot water with sauron. dont know anything else.

earendil: he’s. he got stuck in the sky forever that’s all i know. elrond’s dad.

ecthelion: balrog slaying boi!!!!!!!!!! and a big nerd.

elwing: turned into a bird? elrond’s mum.

elros: elrond’s brother. instead of being an elf he chose mortality and died like a sucker. rip.

erestor: glorfindel’s boyfriend?? dont know much else about him.

eru: god??? i guess? kind of a dick. somehow absent and controlling father at the same time.

feanor: definition of yikes. he had 7 sons and at least one of them (amrod? amras?) died due to his negligent parenting. silmarils were his fault. a lot of murder was his fault. in fact almost everything from page 20 onwards is his fault. 

feanorians: maedhros, amrod and amras (twins), curufin, maglor??? maybe??, dont know the other two.

fingon, fingolfin, finrod: feanor’s brothers and dad. dont know which are which. theyre all equally catastrophic except one of them who is the only one with any common sense in the whole book.

galadriel: everyone’s problematic fave

glorfindel: balrog slaying boi!!!!!!!!!!! great hair 10/10. uh he died but he got better and came back in lotr so he’s fine.

luthien: baddest bitch. id die for her actually. she defeated sauron through the power of her epic vocals. has a cool dog.

maglor: he threw his silmaril into the sea, mad lad. not sure what else he did.

mairon: aka sauron. morgoth’s sugar baby. has some issues? a freaky bitch from that art piece i saw where he was branding some poor elf (maedhros?) anyway 2/10 twink disaster would not recommend to be fair though, i’d be a disaster too if everyone kept calling me a pun on my name that basically meant “motherfucker”

mandos: (i mixed him up with manwe for a sec) uh. he’s real goth. runs the afterlife. that’s all i know.

manwe: seems super up himself but is v. insecure. “lord of the skies”?? yeah he’s definitely overcompensating. 

melkor: aka morgoth. baddest bad. is responsible for the balrog. sauron’s sugar daddy

nienna: sad all the time. probably needs therapy. is she okay.

oronwe: dont know who oronwe is but it’s a cool name so im sticking it on the list.

olorin: younger sexier gandalf

turin: Absolute Disaster. murphy’s law was based on him. he somehow kills everyone he loves? man get help.

ungoliant: shelob’s bigger angrier grandma. wlw icon?? perhaps.

varda: Literally the queen of everything. somebody around here’s got to have some sense. id kill for her.

yavanna: hippy tree hugger. that’s all. 

the peoples:

the valar: the pantheon? i suppose? they sing a lot.

the maiar: lesser gods. angels?? somehow include both gandalf and the balrog, not sure what sort of genetics gymnastics happened there.

the vanyar: goody two shoes elves. all disgustingly good. like the kids in real estate commercials.

the noldor: disaster elves. responsible for everything bad. wouldnt touch them with a 10 foot bargepole. so horrible that their language is forbidden. y i k e s.

the teleri: sea elves?? basically they leave everyone else and do their own thing. the only ones who figured out how to make boats. when feanor wants to get to middle earth he murders them all.

the sindar: the cultured native elves of middle earth

the silvan elves: the cowboy native elves of middle earth

the stuff:

the silmarils: arkenstone and ring of power combined x 3. everyone wants one but maglor throws his into the sea for some reason.

galadriel’s hair: feanor asks for it three times and she tells him to piss off three times. the whole thing with gimli in fellowship was a massive fuck you to feanor.

the two trees: they,,, are the source of all light in arda? at some point they almost die but theyre okay now.

[riepu10]

Richard’s Twitter 2018

[vmae]

Okay so the elvish/early quenyan word for jizz is gwaith

and Celebrimbor’s forging pals are called gwaith-i-mirdain

SO BACK THIS UP

GWAITH IN SINDARIN REFERS TO “GROUP OF PEOPLE” AND THATS ALL WELL AND GOOD

BUT CELEBRIMBOR WAS AN ORIGINAL NOLDOR. HE KNEW THE NOLDOR MEANING. 

THIS MEANS CELEBRIMBOR PULLED A DAMN PUN

THE DUDE PULLED A PUN AND DECIDED TO NAME HIS GROUP “THE SEMEN SQUAD” AS A NOLDORIN INSIDE JOKE

i cant fuckin

celebrimbor are you kiddin me

[celestialkiri]

My reaction when I saw obsessed Uruk. God I love Middle Earth: SoW :’D 

[coilingearth-deactivated2022030]

‘till our time burns away

‘till our embers fade to grey

cast my shadow on the fires of war

[tatzelwyrm]

Wholesome Orcs from Shadow of War

The Orc who told me he’d throw himself between me and anything from an enemy Warchief to a Graug, but if I wandered anywhere near spiders I was on my own.

My bodyguard who offered to compose a song about me so “the lads” would have something to hum on a long march.

The Captain who told me he’d figured out the reason people can’t breathe underwater which is because there’s no air down there.

That one very Northern Captain who, during camp raid mission, goes “I don’t say this often, but I’m real proud of you, lads. You kill soft-skins real good. Keep it oop!”

My bodyguard who told me to “stay safe” when I sent him to go home without me.

The Captain who told me that the safest way to get rid of my enemies is to go live in a cave for 40 years and when I come out again all my enemies will have died.

All Orc grunts who can be seen playing with their Caragors in your fortresses.

My bodyguard who, upon being summoned because I somehow found myself alone against four enemy captains at the same time, calmly asked if I had plans for us tonight (Yes we have plans for tonight, Nazû, the plan is murder).

Those two Orcs who are under the impression that the Bright Lords gets stronger every time he is killed and therefore concluded that this means I must have died hundreds of time already (I still don’t know whether I’m feeling flattered or insulted).

[leticris-deactivated20260411]

Just heard an uruk scream at me as I destroyed a monument and ran away.

“THE MONUMENT!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK TO BUILD IT?!”

Whoops.

[editedcopycat]

….guess who went and stole talion’s bow? (went back to it. leaving at a sketch bothered me)

[ladystarks]

I don’t “pick” my favorite characters, I collect garbage children and protect them with my life

[p-joart]

Wip, a random sketch I meant to color but who knows if and when I’ll get around doing it, so here it is for now. I think Celebrimbor would be desperate to see what has become of Talion because of him, and Talion, well… He would be the cruel one, for once, cause he’s crossed that line. *Angst intensifies* (and lolz I suck at decorations)

[woke-butt-deactivated20181011]

[pokephotographr]

I laughed at this too much