Documented History of my Descent into Fandom Hell

Hobbyist Writer (who rarely posts her own writing) & Gamer Girl Blog | Dungeon Master (AKA Supreme Goddess of Reality and all of Creation) | 80% Dragon Age or Mass Effect trash | 19% Dungeons and Dragons or Critical Role posts | 1% other (Skyrim, Fable, Witcher, Nature, Magic, Mythology) | General High Fantasy FanBlog

[spellcore]

skyrim loading screen tip: you can block with your weapons! me, running headfirst into battle and blocking absolutely nothing: go fuck yourself

[spellcore]

also skyrim loading screen: you can cook food that heals you more than raw ingredients! me, shoveling uncooked leeks down my throat: fascinating

[thornflo15-blog]

Skyrim loading screen: cows are the most common animals in Skyrim...

Me: What? there’s like 4.

[alothsarchived]

Bestiary - Nuggalopes (½)

Greater Mountain Nuggalope 

Stubborn and hardy, the Greater Mountain Nuggalope - or “Deth Nug” - makes a statement, and that statement is “hands.”

As far as historians are able to determine, referenced to the greater mountain nuggalope (or “deth nug”) predate the Divine Age. For centuries, the nuggalope remained a creature of myth, with sighting attributed to lunacy or drunkenness. Occasionally, convincing evidence for the nuggalope’s existence would be brought forth. These claims were always proven to be hoaxes, perpetrated for fame or malicious amusement. 

As such, it came as a great shock when tales of the nuggalope were finally proven true. Despite their elusive nature, nuggalopes may be tamed and even ridden, though few have accomplished such a feat. 

One of the nuggalope’s most unexpected features - and one of endless fascination to researchers - is the creature’s hand-like front paws. The nuggalope has been known to dunk its food in water before consuming it. It can also reach high tree branches and pull them down to eat the leaves. While observations of wild nuggalopes are few, some researchers theorise that the creature may also be capable of rudimentary tool use, such as poking stick into trees and dirt mounts to draw the insects out.

It has hands. It handles things. That’s hitting me worse than anything else. What the ever-loving spit? Can’t argue the impressive stature of the thing, and it’s stubborn, like the most entitled charger. It knows how strong it is, and it knows you know. I expected the dull snuffling of its small cousins, but this - it has hands and spirited eyes. Mind where you secure the buckles of your saddle. I expect it’ll let you know when it tires of suffering you on its back. Not that it tires. Hands. Hands. —A Horsemaster’s Notes On Mounts

[alothsarchived]

Bestiary - Harts (1/3)

Red Hart 

Sure-footed, calm, and with regal bearing, the red hart is admired throughout Thedas. To glimpse one in the wild is considered good fortune; to hunt one for sport is considered extreme folly. Though it is rare to find one in a stable, there have been a few cases where the red hart has been used as a mount. It is said that a red hart will only permit one person as its rider and the bond between rider and animal is unparalleled. 

A great hart of impeccable health and ability. Such mounts are a triumph of breeding and careful training. 

Honored to see one up close without meeting it points-first. The pride of the stable. Of any stable. Even the Dalish I’ve had occasion to ask have said it’s rare to glimpse them at a distance. The few who have mastered one - and it truly is very few - say there is no animal more sure of foot, more attuned to its rider, more inspirational to simply gaze upon. You want to match the majesty of this creature? Grow some bloody wings. —A Horsemaster’s Notes On Mounts

[spellcore]

skyrim loading screen tip: you can block with your weapons! me, running headfirst into battle and blocking absolutely nothing: go fuck yourself

[spellcore]

also skyrim loading screen: you can cook food that heals you more than raw ingredients! me, shoveling uncooked leeks down my throat: fascinating

[andrastesass]

I’m not saying send assassins. I’m just saying send assassins.

[sci-fantasy]

No, not at all.

Don’t send assassins. They’re expensive, they’re not 100% reliable–assassins aren’t perfect, they’re only human (or elf, or dwarf, or Qunari–you know what I mean), and if one’s caught, the game is up, we’ve tipped our hand.

But the rumor that we may or may not have sent assassins? Everyone goes berserk, the guards are tripled at further expense…but there’s nothing to see. Tension reigns and that can be exhausting. There won’t be any proof though, since, you know, we didn’t actually send any.

And say we get lucky and someone dies, of something completely unrelated. (No, really, unrelated.) Accident, some other enemy, suicide. Who’ll believe that was what really happened?

Rumor: most of the effectiveness of assassins at a fraction the cost and zero risk.

[captainlordauditor]

calm down Zevran

[zandraart]

dancing lights

[kitkatpaddywak]

I need more Dragon Age on my dash

Please reblog if you post:

General Dragon age

Alistair Theirin

Fenris

Alistair Theirin

Iron Bull

Fenris

Dorian Pavus

Alistair and Fenris, they’re important

Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor

Alistair

Fenris

Please I need my babies on my dashboard at all times.

[whatshouldwecallfictionworkshop]

WHEN SOMEONE ASKS WHERE MY STORY IDEAS COME FROM

[draganimation]

Not really in the story, just a bit of fan art for this banter:

You’re asking me if I have a relationship with my “brother”, aren’t you?

I don’t think he cared much about my existence. I didn’t mean anything to him. Anyway, to answer your original question, no, we never spoke. Well, maybe once. Maric and Cailan had come to Redcliffe to visit the arl. I was very young then. We were introduced. I believe I said, “Greetings, your Highness.” He said, “Ooh! Swords!” and ran off to the armory. So, yes, that was the extent of our relationship. We drifted apart after that. Very sad.

And no, don’t expect Draganimation to have these bgs XD

[zandraart]

deer to me

[princessvicky01]

How about - Ugly Matching Holiday Sweaters - King Alistair and his Queen

Ok so i had a few prompts and not much time (i am slow!) but i saw this one and instantly knew what i had to do! Thank you! Hope you enjoy! :D 

For @dadrunkwriting :

“Wait!” Alistair stands holding out ishands to stop Eve from moving, even though she has shown no intent on movingfor at least the last hour, curled on the sofa by the fire book in hand.

His grin is massive and she smiles despite her tiredness atthe sheer delight in his eyes.

“I got you an early Stainlia gift,” he says dashing into theadjoining room. “I think you’re going to likeit!”

She wants to call after him and tell him they should wait butthe high pitch playfulness of his tone makes her curious.

He emerges arms loaded with a wrapped parcel and practicallyruns to perch beside her, handing it over. “Open it!”

“But I didn’t get youanything extra-”

“Pft,” he dismisses her with his hand. “Go on, open it!”

Alistair admits waves of giddy excitement which make herpulse rise, smiling, she gives into the temptation and digs her short nails into tear it open.

What spills out is hideous- truly hideous. Despite all heryears of playing the ‘game’ she feels her mouth drop slightly in disbeliefstricken horror. “What?” she mumbles to herself, picking out two, over-sized, crudelydesigned, matching holiday sweaters in a colour she could only describe as mouldygreen.

“Sooooo!?”

She hears his exclamation. Drawing on deep reserves of nobletraining she looks to him with a light smile. “Thank you – they’re…” she isforced to pause to find the right words. As horrid as they are she cannot bareto dash the joy from his eyes. “…lovely.” She finishes, a word which is more intestament to him than the sweaters.

“HA!” Alistair blurts out before doubling over, howling in laughter. “The look on your face! Ha! I can’t…” roaring he laughs, smacking histhigh and tipping back, trying to breath through the deafening whoops.

“It’s not funny!” Snaps Eve, smacking him hard on the arm.

His face disagrees and he chortles on. Glaring she throws oneat him. More annoyed with herself than him, she should know better by now. As muchas she wishes to be cross she can’t, as always his dorky laughter gets thebetter of her and she cracks a smile. Although she will not let him get offthat easily.

“Just for that, I expect you to be wearing that sweater tobed later, my King,” she says, the smile turning to a smirk before casuallycurling back up with her book to leave him wearing a baffled expression.

[kaerwrites]

Fenhawke proposal?

So marriage is a tricky thing between Fenris and Leo Hawke. It’s one of the few things they argue about. Hawke starts proposing pretty soon after they get back together, but it takes Fenris more time. First, he thinks it would be best for Hawke to make a political alliance through marriage, and second he’s deeply afraid that Hawke will regret the decision to tie himself to him. They do eventually get married - in the timespan before Inquisition - but it’s a tough road.

This is one of the earlier proposals, possibly one of the first.

–

It was yet a new experience, luxurious in a whollyunexpected way – no longer needing to wake all at once, the painful pullingfrom sleep, the sudden heart-wrenching burst of adrenaline. Sitting up,shivering, cold, stiff – burning ignition of the lyrium bands as he searched,breathless, for any indication that someone might have come upon him in hishelpless state.

Instead he was able to become aware of the world again inslow, gentle increments. Delicious warmth, the softness of his pillow, breathagainst his hair. The sun filtered orange and red through the tender flesh ofhis eyelids, the hedge of his lashes.

He knew that Hawke was with him and he knew that Hawke hadwoken fist. Hawke slept even more poorly than Fenris did most nights, even whenthey were together. He could feel his gaze just as he could feel the armsaround his torso and the morning salutation against his back. He smiled,sleepy, content.

The sweater he had worn to sleep in was far too large forhim, and had slipped down over his shoulder during the course of his slumber.He felt the scratch of Hawke’s beard against the bare flesh, the contrasting softnessof his lips. He felt his smile grow, and he made a soft, appreciative noise inresponse. He felt Hawke’s answering smile against his skin.

“Don’t wake up,” Hawke told him. His voice was low and warm.“Let’s stay here all day.”

“I am not opposed to that idea,” Fenris murmured back. Hedrifted, content, as Hawke nuzzled his neck again, as one large, warm handfound its way under his sweater to rest against his abdomen. He stretchedhimself back against the solid strength of the larger man’s body, and Hawke hummed in approval.

They would make love, eventually, before they ever attemptedto make it out of bed – but they were in no hurry right now. It was a silent,unspoken expectation, desire, promisethat they both shared. Exciting, in more ways than one. His desire for Hawkefelt like a victory – as did Hawke’s desire for him. Sometimes Fenris foundhimself feeling almost smug over it.

“I love you like this,” Hawke told him, kissing his shoulderagain, and Fenris felt so warm and so safe, so happy and so confident, that heanswered,

“You love me like everything.”

Hawke’s fingers traced the marks on his stomach by memory.His chuckle was warm in his ear.

“Maker,” Hawkeswore. “When are you going to marry me?”

And Fenris, nearly asleep again, answered, “Someday.”

[yourplayersaidwhat]

If you kill my precious cinnamon roll, I will never forgive you!

Me, the DM, to someone who’s character just died so I gave him my favorite NPC to complete the dungeon with. (via yourplayersaidwhat)

[yourplayersaidwhat]

I don’t really add enough mimics, do I

Me, the DM, as I’m planning next week’s session (via yourplayersaidwhat)

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Alright, I’m calling it. You’re just immune to lycanthropy

The DM to the person who’s been bitten no less than 5 times and yet always saves against becoming cursed. (via yourplayersaidwhat)

[ferociousqueak]

I’m pretty sure that EDI, in addition to being a literal ship, is also something of a shipper. She has eyes and ears on everything and everyone. She sees every sidelong glance, logs every extranet search, even registers fluctuations in the vitals of every organic body within her. Of course she knows who is interested in whom. It’s just an experiment from there.

What happens if it gets just a little cooler in Engineering? Will Gabby stand closer to Kenneth?

Oh and look, Garrus and Shepard are in the elevator right now. What would happen if the doors took just a little longer than normal to open?

And you know, Zaeed lacks a delicate touch. What if while he’s setting up that surveillance system of his, he gets shocked trying to connect to the Normandy’s electrical mainframe? He might just have to pay a visit to Chakwas.

Vega and Cortez are a real trick because they’re in the same space, but so far apart and focused on their work. What happens if she occasionally corrupts commands to their tools, making it look like they’re malfunctioning? Like, if she makes the Kodiak appear nonresponsive or gives Vega’s inventory system an unexpected hard reboot. Maybe they’ll complain loudly, commiserate, take a break, talk for a bit.

EDI has just enough interest in organics to want to observe more and just enough distance to be okay with experimenting on them by changing environmental factors to observe different responses. As that distance shrinks, though, she stops meddling so much and just observes. What she discovers is that people have a way of coming together on their own, without interference. And the ones who don’t? Well, they turn out fine too. It doesn’t really bring her any closer to understanding organics better, but it does make her like them more all the time.

[beautiful-wildlife]

Tawny Owl by Ronald Coulter