Everything about this damn post is so funny to me. The lighting of the arm from the flash. The posing of the arm like a dramatic death from a novella. The fact the photo somehow got taken still and looks this good. The subreddit name. The fact this guy really is built like crash bandicoot
My thoughts on the latest chapter as usual ( ꈍᴗꈍ)
Spoilers for chapter 138 of Spy x Family below the cut...
I think it's interesting that we start the chapter with Damian and the others at Eden. I think it's a good hint that Desmond is not at the hospital for the symposium considering Damian knows that his father visits regularly. I picked up on it and immediately thought 'ah so the event isn't why he's here, he's been visiting on the downlow for Project Apple-y stuff', which turns out to be correct.
I like that we are re-establishing the disconnected relationship between Desmond and his family. Damian admits to knowing nothing about his own dad. I absolutely love the layout of this page as well. He looks so unsettling and intimidating and I think the layout of the page with him stepping outside the boxes really adds to that for me.
Fiona is really getting some more panel-time (page-time?? Whatever the manga equivalent of screen-time is lol) and I am loving it. I think she's in a difficult position and having to wrestle with the idea of getting Twilight involved or not and also having to leave things alone for the sake of remaining safe. It's an interesting dilemma and one that I'm sure Anya's involvement in will only make worse.
Our suspicions of Desmond not being involved in the symposium are confirmed (unless they are lying for some reason). And to further this, Fiona figures out they are going to the neurology section of the hospital, which makes sense given what we know about his involvement in Project Apple.
My theory about the symposium being a cover up for something else going on in the hospital at the same time might still be possible but unlikely since Damian said his dad has been going to the hospital a lot. So maybe he's been just visiting on the downlow and neither Nightfall or Twilight have noticed?
I love the focus on Nightfall's dilemma here. She feels isolated without Twilight there to help and the panel on the left highlights this super well with the darkness effect surrounding her.
Anya following Fiona and wanting to be involved throws a spanner in the works but it does bring my hopes of the meeting of the two telepaths into a place where it might actually happen.
Anya was great in this chapter, she brings a comedic element as always but I think it is needed here to balance out the more tense moments with Nightfall. Some of these panels were cracking me the hell up.
I really hope she doesn't actually get into any danger but I do feel like if she ends up in the neurology department while following Desmond, it might resurface some nasty memories involving Project Apple and the experiments done to her.
Like I said my big hope is for Anya and Desmond to meet and to perhaps have a moment where they read each others minds and are both aware of each other's telepathy. Maybe this won't happen without Anya being in danger tho, since if he is aware she exists he might stop at nothing to make sure she is captured. This would probably be a good set up for the spy/assassin reveal but it feels like this is happening a bit too quickly for that. But who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
also sometimes i remember that “just hold me, please” is an actual canon line said by the most emotionally stunted man on the planet. like i forget it’s not from a fanfic or something. he actually said that. that was arthur pendragon’s dying wish. get fucked, bbc merlin writers. and thank you.
Finally writing down my thoughts about the latest Spy x Family chapter ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Spoilers ahead for Chapter 137...
Our boi is finally in the hospital. It's been a long time coming...
Man needs to take a chill pill and stop overworking himself and I'm glad everyone around him can see it
I'm also very glad we have returned to the Professor Authen's connection to Donovan. I'm so excited to see where this plotline is going. I have a crap memory so I'm like the last person to theorise about how they are connected with Project Apple and Anya because I will end up misremembering things
I loved this panel, Anya's first thought is that his stomach has been replaced with a metal one and that made me laugh. She also thinks that's cool for some reason, which also made me laugh
The split panel below is so pretty.
I have missed Nightfall, we haven't seen her in a wee while.
The fact that Anya calls Nightfall "Hard-no mama" is hilarious omg Anya is so sick of Fiona's shit
but that won't stop her from excepting bribes in the form of sweets
Absolutely crying over how domestic this is, truly who are they fooling? They are a real family rn for sure
Now to the real stuff. Desmond Donovan is here. I feel like if he isn't here for the symposium, whatever he is here for is being held at the same time as like a cover-up type thing
I would also like to know if the licence plate number is relevant somehow, someone smarter than me might have an idea hahaha
I don't know, it was just something that occurred to me, it might be nothing and if it is something it might be a reference to something
When I googled it, it came up with the International Astronomical Union so I've got nothing lol
Anyway...
I'm very very excited to see where this heading.
We have it pretty much confirmed that Donovan is a mind-reader, kinda. But I really hope we get actual hard proof.
I really hope Professor Authen appears at the symposium as well. I think this is a really good opportunity to develop the plot and I am sooooo hyped (≧▽≦)
"The structure of this world is incredibly complex. At first, there were no manifestations of what we know as Light and Darkness. But our arrival here brought those concepts with us — the Darkness given physical form only after we defined it." ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
Twilight isn't so oblivious to his own feelings after all. He just has no other choice but to do everything he can to convince himself that what he feels are merely carelessness or failings on his part.
I think the recent chapters mirror chapters 13 and 14 of the manga. If we go back to chapter 13, we'll remember how affected he was by seeing the genuine affection between the Briar siblings, who, despite their imperfect relationship, share a genuine complicity and affection. Things that Twilight no longer remembers how to feel, and this made him realize that he felt envious of that. He not only envied them, but unconsciously tried to include himself in that environment.
The day after this incident, Twilight tries to test Yor to see if she was suspicious and fails miserably. Perhaps it was an attempt to convince himself that she wouldn't affect him, and in the end she did. He felt guilty for doubting her and was hooked by her when she said she was "grateful to have married him." However, in the same chapter, Frankie makes a point of reminding him that he is a spy and that people like them can't let their emotions take over, as it can be fatal.
Yor's relationship with Yuri reflects what Twilight desperately desires deep down: love, affection, and companionship. Twilight is hungry for love, and that's precisely why he put himself in danger when he fought Yuri. He lacks the courage not only to hurt Yor, but also to shatter the image he saw in chapter 13. Because if he did, he would also shatter the image of his deepest desire. Not killing Yuri wasn't just for Yor's sake, it was for his own too.
"If she lost him, she would lose the motivation to be married to me. And Operation Strix would suffer because of it." The "Operation Strix" he talks about so much is himself. He uses "Operation Strix" in place of "I, me, mine."
And it is in this thirst to belong, to be loved and to love as well, that he begins to mold himself so naturally to the Forgers, to Yor, and even to Yuri too.
Twilight's subconscious adapts him to this life because, in the end, it's what he desires most. And that's why he's constantly blaming himself, stressing, and collapsing. Because what he is at this moment (a spy) no longer makes sense in his life, but he's only known this life. He programmed himself to be this way, but he's being reprogrammed. So it's not like he's completely oblivious. He understands his situation, he knows there's a specific emotion for Yor, but he can't discern WHICH emotion. He doesn't know what it is to love someone, so he's always berating himself for not being perfect enough. He's failing. Yor is constantly telling him that he doesn't need to be perfect, that he also needs to look at himself and validate himself. Totally the opposite of what he's always believed.
I've mentioned noticing the fuzzy little orbs that appear in certain Spy x Family panels and how during Loid's "confession" about Yor to the SSS agents has hints of these orbs but not full-fedged orbies, which I think is a sign that Loid doesn't really believe what he's saying but means it nonetheless. You can read my initial thoughts about that here
But this latest chapter also features these little orbs (along with a cheeky subtle blush on Loid's face)
I don't think it's a coincidence that these appear moments before he starts wondering if Yor is good or bad for Strix
Whether he realises it or not, I genuinely do think Twilight is panicking about how much he actually cares for her
As a result, he immediately deflects these thoughts onto himself - telling himself that he isn't a good enough spy
After thinking about it for a little while, I think this is a sign of more to come. I think once Twilight catches on to his feelings and stops playing ignorance to them, he'll start really beating himself up about how spies shouldn't form attachments and that he has grown too soft
I did think that this was how Loid's arch would pan out. Yor is in a position where relationships are not discouraged. If anything, as an assassin, having a partner is shown to be pretty normal in chapter 116 and Short Mission 16. But Twilight's line of work doesn't account for something like this happening
From what I remember we only hear tiny little mentions of the personal lives of the other spies. Nightfall's love for Loid is different because they are both spies. We hear a mention of The Handler having a family in chapter 22 but she speaks about her daughter in past tense. We can only assume Handler had to leave her family for the sake of her work or even their safety perhaps, or maybe something happened to them that led to Handler becoming a spy. There are a lot of question marks surrounding her as a whole actually
I do think that an internal crisis from Twilight is definitely in the pipeline and I do believe it will include him tearing himself a new one for letting himself get into this mess - especially with his whole "best spy in the world" title being put at risk
With the way things are going, this might actually happen a lot sooner than what I've been expecting. I thought it was way on the horizon but off in the distance but it actually could be in the next arc or so
Whenever it happens, I'm sooooo looking forward to it (人 •͈ᴗ•͈)
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