LoneStar Family Feels

Texas bitches being a family (Ya I know there’s sprinkles of other stuff😭)

[throwingselfoutwindow]

TK: Can I go play with Mateo?

Nancy: No you need to clean the bus

TK, under his breath: you’re such a bitch

Nancy: What did you say?

TK: I have an itch?

[sageandred]

Owen and TK, father and son, adopting their unique pets they find at work, while everyone around looks at them like they're crazy

[strandnreyes]

Carlos: you’re hiding something

TK with giant fucking guitar case behind his back: nO!

[throwingselfoutwindow]

Judd: how did you find me?

Grace: I saw an explosion and went “wonder who that could be”

[throwingselfoutwindow]

Nancy: Would you still love me if I ever got the bubonic plague?

Mateo: Baby, I would nurse you back to health and then go back in time to make sure it never existed

TK, watching: hm.

*later*

TK: If I got the bubonic plague would you-

Carlos: mf if you got the bubonic plague I would kill myself

TK:

[throwingselfoutwindow]

Owen: Alright, fess up, who took a shit in the truck?

Judd: We aren’t mad, just disappointed and mostly confused

Mateo: … it was buttercup?

Judd: Mateo, why the FUCK did you shit in fire truck?

Owen: We have perfectly working bathrooms.

Mateo: !?

[camera footage]

Buttercup: *trots out of fire truck with Mateo yelling about having an accident and buttercup watches him go to the kitchen to get napkins right as Judd and Owen hop into it because they are looking for something*

Buttercup: *strays off the frame because TK showed up*

[inverted-typo]

But make them techno punk

[throwingselfoutwindow]

Mateo: *holding baby that was LeaveSafe at the fire house while bouncing*

Judd: Wow, you got her to stop crying

Mateo: Ya

Judd: How did you learn the bouncing technique so fast? Took me a good week or so with Georgie

Mateo: Technique? I just have to pee really bad

[throwingselfoutwindow]

Judd: Hey Mateo, how long have you and Nancy been going out again?

Mateo: uh

Mateo: I don’t know

Judd: Isn’t that like… kinda important?

Mateo: the only important thing in a relationship is that you both like the same pizza toppings

[throwingselfoutwindow]

Carlo: *yelling bc TK was dumb and now he’s in an ambulance*

TK: you can’t be mad bc I’m in shock - I have a shock blanket on

[throwingselfoutwindow]

TK: would you like the apples or the bees?

Owen: The… bees?

Mateo: HE HAS CHOSEN THE BEES

Owen: wait-

Judd: *walks in with a jar filled with bees*

Paul: enjoy, be sure to come back

Owen: *screams as Judd opens it*

[drulalovescas]

CASTIEL'S LEGACY SHOULD NEVER BE FORGOTTEN

and no I'm not elaborating idc idc

[throwingselfoutwindow]

TK gets a call from a buck who is freaking out

Buck: HELP ME

TK: omg are you ok-

Buck: I KISSED A DUDE

TK: …. CARLOS YOULL NEVER BELIEVE ME-

[skipaholic]

just @starkguzman being the funniest person

[throwingselfoutwindow]

Paul, TK, Mateo: *tapping on table*

Nancy: what…

Carlos, tiredly: Morse code

Judd: they learned it to talk shit

TK: *gasps and eyes fill with tears*

Mateo: *taps aggressively*

Paul, flipping the table over: MATEO TAKE THAT BACK

[throwingselfoutwindow]

Mateo: AND YOU SLEEP LIKE A WHORE

TK: *offended noises*

Paul: *pulling his phone out to videotape them fighting*

[throwingselfoutwindow]

Mateo: Hey

Nancy: Hey

Them:

Them: *makes out*

Marjan and Paul: and here we can see, the male’s mating tactic worked - miraculously

Mateo: *dramatically dipping Nancy* *flips them off*