Pornhub for Enterprise™

Just a zombie | early 30's | they/any | hobbyist TTRPG designer | not burnt out but a perfectly sautéed trans girl | please observe my website tiiimezombie.neocities.org | NOT LOOKING FOR MORE PORNBOT FOLLOWERS UNLESS YOU'LL SHOW UP IRL LIKE EDI MASS EFFECT | Primary blog; mostly reblogs of goofgoof bs. Trust me the website content is what you want

[tiiimezombie]

Hi

If you are transfem you are always welcome in my DM's or askbox. I started following some gals from Gazeldhazel's streams from her discord and all of them mourn not having more friends, so like girlies 🩵🩷🤍 please start yappin!!

Elseif we're mutuals, you are also welcome in my DM's. If we've already talked, feel free to remind me that you think I'm cool 👉👈

Elseif idk girl if you're cool,,, and ur not a bot,,, and u reblog my poasts,,,

[muzzlesbian]

you have to love the tgirl but you have to let her love you back too

[muzzlesbian]

transfem affection and attraction is painted as inherently predatory to a degree that drives us to be constantly on edge. it makes us fucking paranoid. do you know how awful it is to worry if it’s safe to lean your head on your close friend’s shoulder? to be openly desired and even flirted with but never flirt back for fear of being labeled a creep? to be unable to cuddle up with your date because you’re terrified of how they might respond? do you know how much that fucks a person up?

you have to let the tgirl love you back. you have to.

[demilypyro]

Aiba is so awesome. She's so full of herself but she's also such a screw-up. I love her.

[hotvampireadjacent]

[redstonedust]

tomodachi life giving you so many oppertunities for custom images and text with no filters means the obvious answer is of course to fill it with sex and penis. which is why i appreciate that every tomodachi life post ive seen is actually pretty lacking in sex and penis. instead we've been giving our miis enough cigarettes to kill a small village.

[gumy-shark]

sometimes my Beloved Mutuals will rb a post about a certain character archetype and i will have to physically restrain myself from saying “yeah you would say that wouldn’t you”

[gumy-shark]

jasper you don’t get to get away with this that easily.

new ask game: what’s the character archetype that makes you go “of course you would say that” when i post about it?

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

prosecutor: im assuming bobs burgers, is, ahem, excuse me, a “reddit show?”

me: that is also correct

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

if it was nonsense how did you perfectly understand it and get exactly as mad at it as i would expect you to

[irlwakko]

this is by far my favorite safety/warning sign btw. they really went off with this one

[ri-rawr-isnt-ok]

No cuz I fucking love this sign. It’s not an actual barrier so it’s not like some sort of challenge it simply says “fuck around and you will find out”

[irlwakko]

Ohohoho I LOVE “fuck around and find out” signs, especially the really dramatic and ominous (but true) ones

(Context for the last one: it’s a WWII era sign posted around the soldiers’ washroom mirror, warning them to never discuss military plans in places where civilians could hear them and report back to the enemy, e.g. in restaurants and pubs in the country. “Loose lips sink ships”.)

I also love these two, which I would place in the category of “You already fucked around, now you’re about to find out.”

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

Aerated water is fucking scary. It's water that has a fuckton of gas in it, which reduces the buoyancy to the point where you will immediately start to sink if you fall in.

[aqueerkettleofish]

[rigjuice]

ive been collecting these recently and wanted to add some of my favorites

[ominous-signs]

Official ominous signs

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

I need to go to more places like that

[woolandflax]

This one’s for the tumblrinas

[clarisliadon]

lets make cookies guys!

Sugar

Butter

Eggs

Flour

Salt

Baking powder

Vanilla extract

Chocolate chips

Voting ended onJun 16

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Available:

C'Mon, You Know You Wanna...

Do it. Click that button. You know which one.

[sogekii-heii]

*guitar riff* let's go, girls

bonus:

[notecardpasta]

hehehehehe * sudden moment of clarity that straightens my spine * what is this. who am I. * the clarity fades * hehehehehehe

[scaryhagmother]

White people be like: I have to take my french bulldog to the chiropractor

[scaryhagmother]

[scaryhagmother]

White people be like: I have to take my elderly cat to acupuncture

[hotvampireadjacent]

[omtai]

Normal groceries like milk or bread or whatever running out is whatever. Just anotha day. But when stuff like salt or cooking oil or rice runs out it feels like You’re supposed to be here for me and you’re leaving. You’re just like everyone else

[discoursedrome]

so "incubus" means someone who lies on top of something, and "succubus" means someone who lies underneath something, and the former also turns up in the word "incubate", which means to lie on top of an egg. To ensure closure we could therefore posit an analogous term "succubate", which would be something like this:

he is succubating.

[lambdanets]

usb port on my lower back that lets you plug in a keyboard and write stuff directly into my train of thought.

and yes it works with one of those usb keystroke generator drives that work autonomously as long as plugged in, dont get any funny ideas.

any im gonna take a nap with my back exposed

[enchantress-arc]

I can be trusted around girls that have this by the way.

[iamoutofideas]

fucking sick of my insolent subjects