Just A Tired Cripple

multiple disabilities, chronically ill, mobility aid user 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️♿️

[tired-cripple-punk]

About me:

- Kai (he/him)

- queer & trans

- 24 & in the USA (unfortunately)

- DID system

- multiple disabilities & chronically ill

- neurodivergent & mentally ill

- mobility aid user

- alternative (emo/punk)

- new to tumblr, idk what the fuck I’m doing, but I’ll figure it out

I’ll try to make everything accessible, but let me know if there is anything I miss.

DNI under cut:

- any & all bigots (anti-LGBTQ+, ableist, racist, etc)

- blogs with untagged triggers

- spam blogs

- blogs without title or age (minors can interact on this blog)

- endos & anyone pro-endo

- anyone uncomfortable with swearing, slurs & venting material

- pedos, zoos, trans-id

- (constantly being updated)

[tired-cripple-punk]

I got a wheelchair

It’s shitty because it’s a hospital chair, but it’s better than nothing

I’ll have to see if I can get a custom wheelchair, or at least a better one, at some point

It’s definitely a hell of an arm workout because it’s fully manual

I’m just glad that I have enough balance to do some wheelies, because the sidewalks are incredibly shitty in the city

[tired-cripple-punk]

Nothing says disability pride month like not being able to get out of bed due to pain

I had to take heavy pain meds yesterday just to be able to function

Really need to figure out how to manage what the hell is going on with my back

[tired-cripple-punk]

It got worse, so much worse

I had to go to the grocery store earlier and I could barely move, even breathing was hard

But I’m trying not to take pain meds

Luckily I had an appointment Friday and I’ll be getting another MRI of my spine asap

[tired-cripple-punk]

Nothing says disability pride month like not being able to get out of bed due to pain

I had to take heavy pain meds yesterday just to be able to function

Really need to figure out how to manage what the hell is going on with my back

[tired-cripple-punk]

Happy disability pride month

I’m still crippled but it doesn’t stop me (most of the time)

If anyone says shit this month, break their kneecaps with your mobility aid

[tired-cripple-punk]

Happy pride month

I’m still gay as hell, and currently working on getting an actual binder

[tired-cripple-punk]

If anyone has recommendations for a binder that’s accessible, I’d love to hear it

[tired-cripple-punk]

I went go karting yesterday, it was chaos

Pros: fun, get to drift, compete with others, satisfies the need for adrenaline

Cons: fatigue, muscle tension, adrenaline dumps, questionable driving habits later

[tired-cripple-punk]

Happy pride month

I’m still gay as hell, and currently working on getting an actual binder

[tired-cripple-punk]

I could barely stay upright today

I spent most of the day sleeping because I couldn’t do anything else

That’s what I get for pushing past the limits of my social battery and my body

To make things worse, my collarbone is fucked again and it won’t stay in place, so it’s hard for me to get comfortable enough to sleep for more than an hour or two at a time

[tired-cripple-punk]

Holy shit everything hurts

My feet feel like they’re on fire, my back aches so badly that it’s hard to stand, and I’m so fatigued that it’s hard for me to find words

But it’s still not bad enough for me to take actual pain medication

[tired-cripple-punk]

My back fucking hurts so badly that I could barely sleep

The trigger point injections only temporarily helped with muscle pain, and didn’t affect the actual amount of pain that I’m in

The next option is an epidural-style injection of steroids

And this is what I get for doctors telling me for years that the pain was all in my head

[tired-cripple-punk]

Not so fun fact: I didn’t realize that it shouldn’t hurt to stand until last year

I always thought other people were just better at dealing with it, but apparently it’s not normal

My feet shouldn’t feel like they’re on fire, it shouldn’t feel like it takes a lot of energy to keep my muscles tense enough to stop me from falling over, and my back shouldn’t ache within seconds to minutes

[tired-cripple-punk]

The injections didn’t do shit

It was just lidocaine, no steroids

My back is now even more sore than usual, and that’s ignoring the fact that I had to be given strong anti-anxiety meds so I could sit still for ten injections

I hate having medical PTSD, it would be so much easier to have my issues addressed if I wasn’t terrified

[tired-cripple-punk]

It’s Ehlers-Danlos awareness month and I am very aware right now

[tired-cripple-punk]

Here we are again and I am still way too aware

But I’m getting injections in my spine on Monday, which should help

[tired-cripple-punk]

I just had presyncope from blowing my nose

I’m still fucking laying in bed, I wasn’t even standing or sitting upright

I hate being sick and in a flare up, because I feel like shit no matter what meds I take or how much sleep I get

[tired-cripple-punk]

My blood pressure is still through the floor and my heart rate is sky high

Not even meds and extra salt is helping right now

Fuck my life

POTS would be a lot easier to manage if I was fucking neurotypical, so my brain would tell me when I’m fucking thirsty

[tired-cripple-punk]

I just had presyncope from blowing my nose

I’m still fucking laying in bed, I wasn’t even standing or sitting upright

I hate being sick and in a flare up, because I feel like shit no matter what meds I take or how much sleep I get

[tired-cripple-punk]

I had a good day yesterday, so I obviously overdid it, even using my forearm crutches

Now I’m in an awful flare up, I barely managed to get out of bed

My brain fog is so bad that I had to check the weather three times before I was able to process it