These Should Be Filed in the Archives Themselves

always accepting submissions

[berrycobbler]

if you're a ceaseless watcher it must feel good as fuck to turn your gaze upon a wretched thing

[tma-heritage-posts]

Certified Heritage Post

[leevingthisplace]

this is so bad, I need to (remembers suicide jokes worsen my mental health) be distributed by rusty quill under a creative commons attribution non commercial share-alike 4.0 international license

[tma-heritage-posts]

Heritage Post

[the-stars-in-heaven]

i’m gonna- *remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health*

… buy an axe in central london

[tma-heritage-posts]

Heritage post

[littlebit-png]

So for my final project in a ceramics class, I had to make a jug with whatever decoration I wanted.

May I present to you

✨ Jugathan Sims ✨

He is terrible at being a jug and he got weirdly milky in the kiln. Both of those are entirely my fault but in my defense I've never made a jug before. He's good at holding flowers though!

(Progress photos under the cut!(All pictures blurred and edited weird for privacy))

so here he is without any eyes...

...and here he is underglazed!

It was a really fun project tbh. took me a really long time.

[tma-heritage-posts]

Heritage post

[sam-spooky]

the fact jon sims is an orphan isnt dwelled on at ALL cus of how much shit he goes through in the series will never not be funny to me. like yeah ok both your parents are dead get back to the Horrors gay boy

[tma-heritage-posts]

Heritage post.

[wizardarchetypes]

i think i've said this before but when i first listened to the magnus archives i was descending into madness because my boss (a genomics professor) had loaned me out to a limnology professor for several weeks to work alone in a lab in the basement sorting tens of thousands of tiny macroinvertebrates out of stream samples, one square inch at a time.

for seven hours a day i listened to the magnus archives almost nonstop, staring through a dissecting scope.

i was also dealing with a nightmare living situation & a stalker so i had temporarily moved into a tent in a national forest. so you can imagine the headspace i was in.

my reprieve that kept me going was an upcoming trip to Cornwall to visit my best friends there.

as we were planning our agenda during my lunch break one day, I was temporarily so detached from reality that I opened my mouth to suggest that when I fly into London, we check out the Magnus Institute.

It's funny now but I was so alarmed by this that I took off two days of work to lie on the ground in the woods outside my tent and recalibrate. I thought perhaps that 48 hours without basement insects would help me. However, I kept listening to the Magnus Archives

[wizardarchetypes]

it was this same summer that my boss loaned me out to a dendrology lab as well to go catalogue trees for two weeks in west virginia and i would not learn my lesson. the episodes were like "what if you were alone in the woods, perhaps even in Virginia, and some guy hunted you for sport. would that be fucked up or what?"

and I was eating my sandwich sitting on some rock alone in the middle of the forest nodding like yeah that would be pretty crazy

[wizardarchetypes]

I've definitely posted about this before but it bears adding to this post that I got my friend/colleague into the podcast in Alaska while we were raising millions of little salmon (in a hatchery, not a farm) and she was indoors all day doing culturing work so she just had her headphones on all day in a giant cold warehouse building with nothing but the sound of running water that looked like this

[tma-heritage-posts]

Heritage Post

[poikaboo]

alrighty then, it's been a second since it finished...

who was paying attention?

which of these things DID NOT happen during the Magnus Protocol ARG

called a member of staff by accident

got the first canon appearance of a MAGverse character

started a ship with a semi-obscure British TV mascot

contacted a GDR diaspora site looking for a clue

nearly got recruited into scientology looking for a clue

went to a german bookstore's back area looking for a clue

broke a protonmail account

Voting ended onNov 9, 2023

[poikaboo]

whoops, missed this poll ending! here's the answer breakdown:

called a member of staff by accident - 2.2% i'm not surprised this one was least voted! I think the Asterisk Incident was the most popularised Whoopsie of the ARG. TL;DR - A phoneline for the OIAR was being run by RQ during the game. Our first time encountering it, someone pressed * on the voicemail it gave us, which very much got us into the actual real setup of the number. Including test voicemails. That had a RQ member's real phone number on. Before realising this was the backrooms, this person did call Martyn RustyQuill (a real man) and have a very awkward, confused conversation.

went to a german bookstore's back area looking for a clue - 5.4% this one's real! our Berlin on-location team tracked a clue down to a bookshop in the area, and went in searching for a clue! rather than finding the intended clue (a fake newspaper with a lot of leads), our team started by going into a staff-only area. whoopsie!

started a ship with a semi-obscure British TV mascot - 7% man who do you think we are of course this one is real. discovering Bonzo led to a lot of non-UK ARG players learning about Mr Blobby for the first time in their lives. A discovery I'm sure they could have gone without. Alas, the curse spreads, and Mr Blobby and Mr Bonzo are kissing on the mouth. #Blonzo forever.

broke a protonmail account - 9.7% please do not underestimate the power of several hundred ARG players. we recieved a login for a protonmail account and all swiftly said, "oh i've got a great idea!" and logged in. that many logins and setting changes from that many locations at once? bricked it <3 we got locked out and had to get a secondary email from RQ so we didn't softlock the entire ARG.

got the first canon appearance of a MAGverse character - 17.2% this one's real too :)

bonzo! bonzo!! bonzo!!!

contacted a GDR diaspora site looking for a clue - 23.7% we did NOT do this one. the idea was discussed, but this was pretty early on, and we decided that if we had to do something like this, it'd be more clearly signposted. i admit to being somewhat tricksy here, though, because there was an entire fake forum of GDR diaspora characters that we trawled through for DAYS. it was written entirely in german and the team translated it TIRELESSLY.

nearly got recruited into scientology looking for a clue - 34.9% yeah... so one of our Manchester on-loc teams went to the site of TMP's Magnus Institute. Turns out that it was a hub for Scientologists. They talked to the team. The server's mods had a nervous breakdown. No one got scientologied tho. Just about.

[tma-heritage-posts]

Certified Heritage Post

[savetheupholstery]

HAPPY JONMARTIN DAY EVERYONE

[klaviergavinslesbianboyfriend]

[I.D: Screenshot of The Magnus Archives' transcripts, reading "MAG159 - The Last. Summary: Statement of Peter Lukas regarding his life, family and interactions with The Lonely. Statement extracted 25th September 2018."

"25th September 2018" is underlined in red. End I.D]

[tma-heritage-posts]

Heritage post!

[lija-doesnt-know]

hes literally twirling his hair and giggling

[thewrongshop]

[ID: a screenshot from the transcript of The Magnus Archives episode 82. It reads,

"DAISY: So, help me stop a killer. Where is Jonathan Sims?

MARTIN: [pause] I don't know.

DAISY: Don't lie to me.

MARTIN: I don't!

DAISY: Everyone I've talked to says you and him are close.

MARTIN: What? [Inordinately pleased] Did they? I mean... I mean, who said that? I, I, I guess, I mean, more than the rest, yeah okay, but-" End ID]

[tma-heritage-posts]

Heritage Post

[hesitantlyhappy]

google i'm not sure that's true

[tma-heritage-posts]

Heritage post!

[cloverjester]

The holy trinity of outsiders finding out stuff about TMA

[pillowspace]

[tma-heritage-posts]

Heritage Post

[wroth-and-ruin]

All y’all out here in the TMA fandom talkin about icons like the guy who froze the key to the buried and that plumber who somehow managed to miss a wholeass murder-clown barn. Talkin about how you’d all like to see just once what would have happened if someone had straight up punched an avatar in the face.

How is no one talkin about my man Alexander Scaplehorn, the absolute legend who went to investigate the Trophy Room for money laundering in ep 54 and escaped by fuckin bodyslamming an avatar of the Stranger straight to the floor and then just fuckin hightailin it outta there. This man is a true badass and it’s a crime he doesn’t get mentioned in this fandom more.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

You left out the best part which was that after he barely escaped from Monster Taxidermy Hell with his life, he wrote them a glowing report, because whatever creepy supernatural bullshit they were doing, they weren’t laundering money.

[iamnmbr3]

He body-slammed a Stranger Avatar in front of Breekon & Hope who he also escaped from by just being too nimble for them to grab. Remember this is the same Breekon & Hope with reflexes fast enough to snatch a butterfly out of the air. The combined forces of a Stranger Avatar, whatever the Angler Fish is, and Breekon & Hope were not enough to hold him. 

And the best part is. Despite seeing all the taxidermy come alive and barely escaping from 4 Stranger creatures he ends by saying he’s glad he remembered to bring his briefcase of notes with him because otherwise he would have had to go back!

The man was perfectly ready to walk right back in there if that’s what he needed to do to get his report filed. He really said ‘eldritch monsters or not ya’ll are getting your taxes inspected.’

[tma-heritage-posts]

Heritage post

[chironeis]

Is Jonathan Archivist Sims Hot?

Yes, he’s effortlessly hot

He could be hot if he gave two shits

He couldn’t be hot if he tried

He's hot in a tortured academic way but he's not everyone's cup of tea

If I passed Jonathan Sims in the street I would look away

Voting ended onFeb 17, 2023

[tma-heritage-posts]

Heritage post.

[xxspacevampirexx]

Happy brutal pipe murder day to those who celebrate

[tma-heritage-posts]

International holiday

[theacebandit]

Thinking about the difference between podcast main characters

[tma-heritage-posts]

Heritage Post

[filthyprotozoan]

watching someone currently going through my jonblogging tag like. you’re so right tonight is an excellent night to chew through the walls go stupid go crazy about jonathan sims.

[filthyprotozoan]

he’s bitchy he’s petty he sends the coworker he doesn’t like to the house of a woman who kills people by slowly collecting their body parts and making her little puzzles. he’s scared of spiders. he doesn’t believe in ghosts except actually he does he just thought he’d be safer if he pretended not to. while being attacked by flesh-eating worms he still makes sure to grab a tape recorder bc dying is one thing but dying a mystery is his worst fear. he’s too weak to carry a metal pipe as a weapon. he likes cats. he could be on drugs. he forces said previously disliked coworker to confess his deepest secrets and when that guy says he lied on his resume jon laughs with relief that he’s not a murderer. he will fall in love with that man. he will force his way into a dimension that’s the personification of perpetual loneliness to hold that man’s hand and bring him back to life. he loses the natural ability to trust anyone so he makes the conscious choice to give them his trust anyway. he crawls into a coffin and almost gets crushed to death to save a woman he doesn’t even like. she tried to kill him once and he never ever forgave her. but he understood her. he eats a random woman’s trauma like a well-cooked steak. he’s a theater nerd. he likes i spy. he kills people by kubrick staring at them too hard. he wants his revenge and he gets it. he always jokes at the wrong time. he’s too weak to row a boat. he can never remember he has that fucking lighter in his pocket. he is haunted by things that aren’t his fault. he is fundamentally deeply kind. he tries to save a guy who helped him once and ends up turning him into a monster without the guy’s consent. he dies (or doesn’t?) and it’s a mystery but finally that looks something like freedom. he thinks everything is about him so much that he accidentally reshapes the whole world so it is about him. he goes out with the man he loves. he goes out, so flawed and so loved.

[filthyprotozoan]

he’s even bi and ace. what more could anyone ask of a man.

[tma-heritage-posts]

Heritage Post

[supplimental]

Elias has a TikTok account with over 240.7K followers. The general content of his videos include practicing evil laughing, going on rants about millennials that come across as ironic even though they're completely genuine, using screenshots of nasty comments as a green screen while using The Eye to announce the commenters' deepest darkest secrets to his audience, and (of course) lip synching tiktok songs. There's a video of Peter doing vape tricks that has 1.2 million likes. One of the archival staff (probably Tim) stumbles across it one day and has an out of body experience.

[tma-heritage-posts]

This is a heritage post. To me.