The Party of One

Party like no one's watching - because nobody is. Except this nobody on the East Coast.

[importantcatpics]

[zoazoaa]

If you are attracted to a girl it's important to show her sinister artifacts and relics

[two-seventyone]

so hard to beat the gay allegations when you’re gay

[wittyusernameonline-deactivated]

[nyancrimew]

wow my tweet on my dash

[justsomeectoplasm]

The context:

[pokemonheritageposts]

Pokemon Heritage Post

[hopeless-eccentric]

if i met a genie and fixed the world and all its ills with my first two wishes, my third wish would be that sabrina carpenter would get gradually taller. she'd be in on it and think it was hilarious. we'd have a strong cap at 7 feet here, maybe an inch a week so people have time to theorize--let's not be ridiculous. but she'd still keep up the "ooh! im so little and small!" schtick. but shed be gradually getting taller. she'd be like 6'1" and still jumping for the microphone. and she'd never say anything about it. and if anyone asked shed act like she had no idea what they were talking about. and shed cheekily play into it a little bit but mostly still keep up the "ooh im so little and small" schtick. do you see my vision. do you get it

[hopeless-eccentric]

ok and so if i met a genie and fixed the world and all its ills in one wish i would do the sabrina carpenter thing second and third i would wish for all evidence of one random taylor swift song to disappear from the world once every month or so. taylor would have no memory of it. her fans would remember it and there would be an outcry over where it went (it's not even in concert videos anymore!) but taylor would have no memory of it

instead, all her brainspace spent on that song would be replaced with the vivid memories of roman gladiator, taylaurius velox. she's able to hide this at first, but her music begins to take on a gradually romaner and romaner tint. at first, people are like "damn, she's getting REALLY conservative, huh" and other people are like "wow, she's so deep, she knows what a rubicon is" but eventually travis kelce leaves her out of nowhere (he wasn't sure if dating someone possessed by a roman gladiator made him gay or not and anyway he was getting sick of being like "we're going to play the lions" and taylor being like "LIONS? WHERE?") and taylor publishes an entire brutus themed album about this betrayal and it's beginning to weird people out

and so eventually travis kelce is getting like, bomb threats sent to his family for leaving taylor and eventually he's like "okay, okay, i left her because she kept having all these vivid nightmares of gladatorial combat and she kept saying that football was giving her the ick because we never actually killed anybody for the glory of rome" and then he just gets more bomb threats because he left a struggling woman during a mental health crisis

and eventually taylor is writing music about her forbidden roman senator lover and her fanbase is either whittled WAY down or WAY up because people want to watch this trainwreck happen (or maybe she influences culture so hard that we're just all really into rome now) but she's being super cagey about the name of this roman senator. until. and now here's the twist:

weird al has been getting all of the same vivid memories of taylaurius velox. and he still has all his memories of her old songs. so he's writing all these detailed song parodies of taylor swift songs that don't exist anymore including specific details about their shared gladiatorial reality that taylor has never shared with anybody else. including that her lover's name was publius, and she's been calling him Poob for short

at this point a lot of original swifties are leaving. they could do the brutus stuff, but they really can't survive poob. taylor makes a clapping back at the haters song including the lyric "these bitches don't know publius" and it ends up all over all sorts of merch. there's a renewed archaeological interest in roman gladatorial combat

most importantly, the internet discourse is the best it's ever been. does this make taylor swift transmasc? is travis kelce problematic for leaving his fiancee while she gradually morphs into a roman gladiator? is this good queer representation? if taylaurius velox was a gay man, does that mean the gaylors were technically correct? is weird al morally wrong for capitalizing off of her music if she cant remember it anymore? was weird al sent by god to torment taylor swift?

anyway thats what id do if i met a genie

[hello-eeveev]

a crude summary of one of my favorite musicals

[map9810-blog]

[future-crab]

Imagine being Anais Mitchell and writing a song about the rhetoric of fascism so incisive and prescient that 10 years later an actual fascist would use that exact rhetoric down to the highly-specific phrasing in his presidential campaign. But also it took 10 years for the project you wrote that song for to move from living room shows to concept album to theater workshop to off-Broadway to Broadway, and its Broadway debut ended up coinciding with said fascist's successful bid for the presidency, and now it looks like your song that you wrote in 2005 is a super unsubtle reference to that one particular and highly-topical politician.

Frankly if I were her I would have started killing.

[oxypill]

[2mo3cm-man]

[neeekok]

2nd half of bad luck bonkle

[neeekok]

First half of bad luck bonkle

[dogpuppy]

[importantdogimages]

[jhoomwrites]

when reading a book, do you read the prologue/epilogue?

yes

prologue only

epilogue only

no

nuance (comments/tags)

Voting ended onApr 13

[yusuke-of-valla]

Looking at the tags, a lot of people are blessedly unaware of the Discourse, for posterity:

[orcboxer]

do they think... that prologues and epilogues... which take place within the story and are very much inside of the same book as the rest of the pages... don't count as part of the book....???.....

[gardenoflava]

[felixcloud6288]

Listening to a podcast

"Let's take a word from our sponsor."

*Skip ahead a minute* "You can-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "Use code-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "300,000-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "300,000-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "T-shirts-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "Motherfuck-"

*Go back 15 seconds*

[felixcloud6288]

Oh we're all feeling this one aren't we?

[kitsuleif]

[earhartsease]

and that much ado? it's about nothing

[zzoupz]

ive caught myself speaking in 3s like rocky (good good good, etc) irl multiple times and often and idk if thats something i already do but didnt pay attention to until now or if rocky is actually rubbing his nasty carapace off on me

[capt-sievert]

i started doing the "question" thing if that makes you feel less alone

[zzoupz]

it is literally so addicting its like tone tags if they were awesome, observation

[zzoupz]