the monster that pantses you

early 20s, they/them, my name is verdin but you can call me tofu. psa: i reblog 18+/nsfw content.

[tofu-bento-box]

Interests: theater // stagecraft // art // writing // philosophy // law // psychology // anti-ai // disability // chronic illness // birds

Media: d&d // genshin impact // x-files // iwtv (amc)

Tags:

almond tofu - genshin impact

birdy baby - birds. surprise

trouble's always gonna find you baby - my current WIP fic

Ao3: tofu_bento_box

[carolsturka]

how it feels to talk about anything at all

[strangerconnection]

you know, i don't remember

[tofu-bento-box]

hiatus again 🙏 deleting the app

[vineity]

YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO GO FIRST! YOU WERE STILL SO YOUNG! YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO BURY ME! (or: the torment of a terrified mother; she breaks down in screaming sobs as the light fades from her child’s eyes; was she a bad mom?)

[tofu-bento-box]

like man i wasn’t raised christian and if i did believe in a god i wouldn’t do it in an organized fashion, because the world isn’t made by people with hands like mine. but sometimes you gotta wonder. told my roommate that the only time i’ve felt something i’d classify as real religious awe was in a walmart parking lot, under an incongruously gorgeous sunset cut with a murmuration of starlings and a radical face song playing, looking at the orange and seeing that i have my whole life ahead of me and finally feeling like that was a good thing. like the fog had finally cleared for a minute.

and i don’t know. not even twelve hours later and i open my phone to see that radical face just released a new single called murmuration. and the first line is about a sunset.

[coelii]

my wife’s face when she’s having the absolute time of her life

[papertowness]

walter skinner invented the secret third thing relationship with mulder and scully because i dont even think their dynamic is definable

[dyk-this-musical-song]

Do you know this Musical Song? #366

I know the song and the musical

I know the song but not the musical

I know the musical but not the song

I may know this

I have never heard this

Remaining time: 3 hours 49 minutes

[plum-soup]

[aint-love-heavy]

Tag yourself I'm the fourth one

[somewhere-south-of-neutral]

They literally can't tag themselves. That's what the scientists are for

[the-haiku-bot]

They literally

can’t tag themselves. That’s what the

scientists are for

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[aropride]

is there a reason the males are usually pictured first on bird sites and u have to scroll to find a female or is it bird sexism ?

[tofu-bento-box]

people in the notes are saying “bird sexism” in full seriousness like this isn’t the entire point of sexual dimorphism.

so, op, the reason the males are pictured first is because in sexually dimorphic species (where the males and females differ in appearance), the males are almost always the more distinctive of the two. some examples:

a female red-winged blackbird is neither black nor red-winged. it is brown and stripey.

a female brown-headed cowbird is just solid brown, rather than the distinctive “black with brown head” combo.

male rose-breasted grosbeaks are black, white, and red. females are (you guessed it) brown.

male indigo buntings are a brilliant deep blue in the summers. females? brown again.

peacocks. the males look like a peacock! the females are, once again, brown!!!!

i could go on. the point is that if you are trying to identify an unknown bird, seeing a dozen different pictures of Little Brown Birds (LBBs) in the search results is a LOT less helpful than seeing the more distinctive versions first. identifying the female morphs of species you’re not familiar with is a very, very steep learning curve; and if the sighting is brief enough, it’s sometimes just impossible to do.

so no, it’s not bird sexism. if you want bird sexism, look up the research on sex-linked vocalizations (spoiler alert: we forgot to study the females’ songs).

[littlebluebarista]

Ok breaking containment for this one because I need everyone who will listen to hear this.

Women who suffer bad cramps are told cramps shouldn't affect school/work/etc, but no one ever investigates further because no one can possibly know if what someone experiences is just typical pain or something much worse.

Well after 15 years of stage 4 treatment-resistant endometriosis that came with pain as bad as, if not worse than, actual labor contractions every month, all the while being told I was 'typical' and 'just had bad cramps', I've finally been healed (another post for another time). I have had what everyone describes as the elusive 'normal period pain' for several months now, and I am begging you to look me in the eyes and listen because I need everyone who can hear this to hear this.

I have been on both sides of this. I have the hard-earned knowledge of what a period 'should' feel like.

If you have to put in any effort to hide your cramps, you need to get help.

Even during of the PEAK OF CRAMPING (i.e., as bad as your cramps possibly get), you should still be able to stand, speak, walk, eat, work, and sleep with no problems. These tasks should require very-little-to-no extra effort beyond what you would normally do when you aren't on your period. When you do these things, you should feel grumpy and a little bit icky and maybe a twinge of nerves and NOTHING MORE.

If you have to sit in the corner and hope no one approaches you because you can't speak or stand without showing pain, even slightly, you need to get help. If your pain is showing on your face, you need to get help. And most importantly, IF YOUR PAIN DOES NOT RESPOND TO 1-2 TYLENOL OR IBUPROFEN, YOU NEED TO GET HELP.

Your period cramps should make you grumpy. Your period cramps should make you feel a little icky and tired. Your period cramps should make you feel your insides existing/moving a bit and a twinge of nerves that makes you groan slightly then the "pain" should stop there, NOTHING MORE.

If your cramps put you on the floor but you make believe you're the captain of a ship who has just been stabbed and has to hide it to fight on, and you force yourself to power through the day, please understand: you are not okay, that does not make you okay. Just because you can power through the pain doesn't mean you aren't sick. If you have to force yourself through any basic task beyond the effort it takes you to do when you aren't on your period, and I am holding your face and looking you in the eye as I say this because I need you to hear me: You aren't normal. You don't 'just have bad cramps'. You are sick and you need to get help.

Now most people will tell you if your cramps are beyond a 3 out of 10 on the pain scale, you should see a doctor. While this is usually true, you have to consider chronic pain CAN AND WILL BREAK YOUR PAIN SCALE. Most people will only compare pain they currently feel to pain they may experience one day but probably never will. "Sure these cramps feel bad now, but if I had a leg amputated with no anesthesia, that would hurt WAY worse, so this pain can't be that bad-" No. Your pain is what it is, objectively, full stop. My cramps were at a 10 out of 10 every. Single. Time. And nobody told me claiming they were a 6-8 because I thought to myself 'what if I lose a limb one day?' was completely wrong. 10 pain is 10 pain. And if there's something that hurts worse than that, guess what. The thing you are experiencing right now is still a 10 out of 10 on the pain scale. Just because you experience it every month doesn't mean it's magically not as bad is it is. And if your pain is worse than a 3 out of 10, you need to get help.

Now when I say get help, I mean find the root cause of your pain. You can't just throw drugs and hormones at it without knowing what it causing your pain. Endometriosis, fibroids, pcos, cancer, adenomyosis, polyps, thyroid issues, there is always a cause. And if you leave it untreated, it will grow and get worse to the point where it resists treatment and the drugs and hormones you've been throwing at it for years don't work anymore. You have to find a doctor that will investigate. If your doctor tells you you 'just have bad cramps' get a new doctor. I know you've been told that but please hear me: no one ever just has bad cramps. A healthy human body doesn't spontaneously cause itself pain so bad you can't stand up; there is ALWAYS a cause.

I was sick for more than 15 years. My entire life was put on hold and now I'm in my late 20s trying desperately to play catch up for everything I missed. I want to pick up 12yo me, spin her around, and tell her she doesn't have to die before she finally stops hurting. I don't want anyone to suffer the same fate I did simply because everyone told them they were normal. A little twinge of pain here and there is normal, suffering is not. I promise you your pain is real, it is not normal, and dear heavenly day I am begging you you need to get help now.

TL;DR: There is no such thing as 'just bad cramps.' If you feel anything more than grumpy, icky, and pain greater than a 3 out of 10, you need to find out what's wrong with you before it gets worse.

[arachnixe]

Also while we're all talking about anti-racism, here's a helpful tip:

Performative self-flagellation over being white is not a substitute for doing serious introspection about the ways you have been complicit in or rewarded by a white-supremacist society, nor doing the work to dismantle white supremacy.

A white person chiming in to a conversation about racism to say "I'm sorry for being white" or "white people suck, I say this as a white person" is just a masturbatory way to try to assuage your own feelings of shame without actually doing anything. It doesn't make you look like "one of the good ones." It makes you look like someone who centers your own feelings about it.

[thelawfulchaotic]

When being a public defender, this is actually very important.

But when it comes to clients, before I make any jokes about white people, I build the scaffolding. The scaffolding is: telling them I am an open book, that my advice for them may be different than my advice for a white client, that I will tell them my whole thought process, that the court system is racist, that I would be an inadequate attorney if I did not understand and learn to compensate for that racism and if it did not inform my tactics, that I am not colorblind, that I am here to advise and guide them in real life, not some racism-free fantasy of real life. None of that is about my feelings. It centers them, their feelings, their priorities.

Apologies are worthless. Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is. I don't always use the perfect terms or know what's the right way to refer to someone, but I get remarkably little shit about it because I spend my time being a safe person. Not requiring the nearest Black person to be my racism therapist.

[macgyvermedical]

Okay, this might be an annoying question so feel free not to answer, but do you have advice for writing a character who has schizophrenia? It seems like many schizophrenic characters are written poorly, and I was wondering if you have any specific things to do or to avoid.

Not annoying at all!

I think schizophrenic characters are written poorly because everyone thinks they know what schizophrenia is, but no one actually does.

What you typically get in fiction is someone hallucinating without knowing they're hallucinating- in a fight with someone who isn't there, curled in a ball rocking with their hands pressed over their ears. And if you're just briefly meeting a side character, that's probably the fastest way to establish their issues.

But if you have a main (or fleshed-out supporting) character with schizophrenia, you have to know there is a lot more to the disorder to write it well.

Schizophrenia has three types of symptoms: Positive, Negative, and Cognitive.

Positive symptoms include things that aren't there in a healthy brain, but are in schizophrenia. These are things like hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia.

Negative symptoms include things that are present in a healthy brain, but not present in schizophrenia. These are things like a lack of motivation, decreased ability to feel pleasure, social withdrawal, and poverty of speech.

Cognitive symptoms are changes in thinking. These are things like problems with executive function, impaired working memory, struggling to concentrate, delayed processing, and trouble reading social and emotional cues from others.

Writing Positive Symptoms:

Most people with schizophrenia have auditory hallucinations, meaning they hear voices that aren't there. These can be voices narrating their life, telling them (usually mean) things about themselves, or commanding them to do something. Some people have other types of hallucinations, like visual hallucinations (seeing something that isn't there) or tactile (feeling something that isn't there).

The person may or may not know that a hallucination is not real. Knowing a hallucination isn't real doesn't make it go away.

You know when you're in a dream and everything makes sense, but then you wake up and realize the dream was really bizarre? That's kind of what delusions are like. You're so sure a thing you're thinking makes total sense, but everyone you're trying to talk about the thing with thinks you're crazy. And its frustrating because it makes so much sense to you. And no one else seems to get it.

Common delusions are things like thinking someone is out to get you, thinking others can read your mind or can put thoughts in your mind, thinking you're special, or thinking you have something medically devastatingly wrong with you.

Medications are really good at treating hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia.

Writing Negative Symptoms:

Nothing feels good, or you spend a lot of time trying to feel good and failing (a lot of comorbid substance use disorders in people with schizophrenia)

You just can't think of anything to say that makes sense, or it takes so long to come up with something to say that the moment has passed. So you just... don't say things.

"Flat affect" means your face is kind of blank and doesn't emote normally. Resting schizophrenia face.

You don't know how to make friends unless you have been specifically trained in the art and technique

Catatonia is where you're conscious but can't move (or move really weirdly) or communicate. But you're in there. And it's terrifying.

Sometimes if negative symptoms are primary this can get misdiagnosed as depression or autism

There are no medications that treat negative symptoms, but sometimes antidepressants can help.

Writing Cognitive Symptoms:

These are honestly some of the hardest symptoms to live with

The degree of cognitive symptoms a person has pretty much determines how disabled they are by schizophrenia.

Problems with following conversations with more than one person

Problems dialing a phone number because you can't hold the numbers in your head long enough

Trouble following verbal directions

Confusion. Just not understanding what is going on.

Having a "loading" period between a piece of information entering your brain and understanding what was said or read.

Difficulty starting tasks and staying on tasks

These are some of the first symptoms to present (usually in young teens) and are sometimes misdiagnosed as ADHD, because of the concentration problems

There are no medications that can treat cognitive symptoms

Medications and therapy (usually something called CBT-P, or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Psychosis), are mostly effective for positive symptoms. Because of this, negative and cognitive symptoms are often the more disabling part of the condition. You can modulate your character's level of disability by expressing more or less of their negative and cognitive symptoms.

Hope this helps!

[fruitzzone]

you need to be more normal about fwb. no, fwb don’t strip you of your dignity. they are not unhealthy. sexual relationships are not bad. it’s not weird to want them and not romance. friends can fuck. you don’t have to be involved romantically to be intimate with someone. that includes all sorts of physical touch because you are also not normal about platonic non-sexual touch. it’s not weird if friends cuddle, sleep in one bed, hold hands or kiss. friends can be affectionate with each other. it doesn’t mean they are romantically attracted to each other. nor does it mean they will ever be in a romantic relationship. you need to be more normal about touch and sex in general.

[tofu-bento-box]

someday i will get a cat and someday after that i will make my own cat tower because i (like other neurotic mammals) need a project or i will explode.

anyway rb with the funniest themes for a cat tower. don't hit me with that loser "castle tower" shit i'm talking "that is an entire octopus"

[muddypolitics]

[OC] SOMEDAY A MORTICIAN GETS TO SUPERGLUE HIS LIPS SHUT, Seen in Cleveland

[tofu-bento-box]

AND IT'S ON DEAD MAN'S CURVE!!!

the photo above was taken from right around exit 177 on the westbound cleveland memorial shoreway (aka interstate 90). given the framing and height, it's a shot from a drone. the exit sign in the picture (E 55th and Marginal Rds) is exit 175.

so the curve in the picture isn't dead man's curve (it's the depth of field that's making it look harsher than it is) but the picture is about... a mile and a half away from it? and the flow of traffic is heading towards the curve!! (see the red circle of doom below.)

they call it that on the radio, btw. they'll be talking about traffic and yup, it's always backed up around dead man's curve. there is more signage on this curve than there is on the truck decapitator bridge. there are rumble strips. it is serious.

because yes, that is lake erie. if you hit this bend going east while you're drunk or speeding, you are going in the damn lake.

so yeah. you're driving down the highway, you see the mortician protest signs, and then a minute and a half later you get to drive dead man's curve.

kudos to them.