TooMuchHappiness

Who revokes cheer?

[adampvrrish]

no matter how terrible my day is. i can always end my day in bed imagining fictional characters making out sloppy style and fucking raw. and that's beautiful. there's some good in this world mister frodo and it's worth fighting for

[actuallysara]

Jacob Tierney on the "We disrupt this broadcast" podcast

About Shane's story resonating with the audience:

"Part of what makes Shane's story resonate so much is I think a lot of us try to be perfect and in our heads perfection never involves queerness. So either put it aside and be so amazing at something else that no one can tell you you’re not great and it's still not enough. That's when you find out, that's the liberating thing about coming out if you can, if it's safe. It's that so much of that nonsense goes away, this idea you have of yourself in your head that you don’t have to hold onto anymore."

About Shane and Ilya's sexuality:

“I love the journey, it felt very real to me, it felt very true. Shane knows something, he's not ready to go all the way. He's not ready to give up this idea that he has to be perfect and to him, being perfect does not involve being gay. I felt that way when I was a teenager, I related to that 100%. With Ilya, it's very different in that he knows exactly who he is. He just can't say it out loud. And he also can't imagine a world where he gets to say it out loud because he is acutely aware of what he would be giving up. And he's right. He's not wrong. He's 100% right."

About Season 2:

"Long Game is such a good book and what's good about it is that it continues to take them seriously. What did they do by the end of the first season is that they're out to four people and they're out to each other in terms of they're in love. And that's great. I think as most of us know who are adults, it takes more than that to make something work, right? It takes a lot of other things. And so what does the rest of it look like now? And I think as people who've read The Long Game know, it's not as freewheelingly joyful as Heated Rivalry is. And there's a lot of difficulty along the way. But I love that, you know, A: I don't need to do the same thing again, B: I also want to take Shane and Ilya seriously. I love that. That's my great privilege. My great joy as a storyteller is to get to think about these guys and reground them and do right by them and do right by the decisions they make and be interested in them. So yeah, that's what's coming."

[targetedknowledge]

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

An artistic recreation of what the many girls that look at my blog on tumblr.com look like

[kiwiacidtrip]

The Long Game Hollanov doodle dump (they’re starting to piss me off/j)

[catsolari]

Hollanov picnic! Their Anya is based on my pup ❤️

[toasted-rivalry]

Ilya and Shane, but it’s just them seeing each other as a version of their husband no one else understands them seeing.

To Ilya, Shane is the funniest, sexiest, bitchiest and downright FREAKIEST person he knows. He tells everyone he knows this, yet for some reason no one seems to believe him. His husband is such an asshole, and Ilya loves him for it.

While to Shane, Ilya is his soft and most precious baby. A heart of gold and with feelings so wide and deep he is breathless at just how much he CARES. Sunshine itself. Shane laughs at how people describe his ‘scary, no-smiling Slavic nightmare of a husband.’ See Ilya! He DOES get sarcasm (he does not.)

[hudconuinely]

The first time Ilya fucks Shane so hard he has trouble walking the next day - like legitimately hobbling around the cottage - yes, there’s a bit of pride and possessiveness, but he also worries he went too far. Shane had kept begging for more, more, until Ilya was certain the bed was going to break but now he sees Shane wincing and he worries. So he asks Shane - was it too much, should they have stopped, should they go slower next time? and Shane’s immediately horrified like please don’t threaten to take this away from me omg there’s only a few weeks left of the summer.

(He does however agree to rest on the couch and let Ilya putter around taking care of him which, yes, includes multiple couch blowjobs)

[teaboot]

I’m not Christian, I don’t go to church anymore, and my pastor died, but when he was alive I’d sometimes go to his sermons and I remember one time he said “it feels good to hate, but we know that it isn’t allowed, so when we’re told that we’re allowed to hate someone we get so excited that we forget we’re supposed to love”, and if my humble atheist ass might borrow some church talk I’d like to perhaps submit that

[teaboot]

Anyhow sometimes on the day to day I feel disgust or revulsion and I have to ask myself “is this a danger to anyone at all or am I just looking for something I’m allowed to hate” and a solid 98/100 times it’s the latter so once again thank you pastor D

[penandinkprincess]

Okay, so with the Spaghetti verse - I've put this out there before but I think you'd get a kick out of it.

Shane gets the call to foster not a fuck-off big snake, but a hognose - which the females top out at 36 inches. So Ilya hears this and is like "okay, yeah, a small snake (still big to him, but small compared to spaghetti)" only to face absolute betrayal at how spicy (dramatic) they are because "Why is he angry Shane?! Spaghetti isn't angry!:

it starts doing a rattelsnake impression at him and ilya is straight offended

he is just STANDING HERE

man learns a new appreciation for spaghetti because this new guy is an ASSHOLE

[penandinkprincess]

ilya stops by to look at the snakes each day because he treats it like allergy training and doesn't want to lose any tolerance he's built up, but this means anyone listening in while visiting just hears, "good morning, spaghetti. you are looking very scaly today. and mouse lump is almost gone! good work. good disgestion. hello sad dead linguini. so sad you are dead aga-oh? alive? no, dead again. back to dead. okay. good job everyone. maybe tomorrow you are alive, linguini. we will see."

[jimmysownworld]

yuna getting really lovely, thoughtful, sometimes extravagant mothers day and birthday gifts from ilya never really understanding why hes going through all this effort even if she does appreciate it and thinks hes so so sweet for it all, even after the boys tell her and david about ilyas mother and the irina foundation it doesnt fully click for a while. it only comes together on some random day, ilya has a game later that night and he’s had lunch with yuna and david planned for a while and he shows up with the good vodka david likes and this small package of candies that ilya hands to her very shyly for the first time probably in his life, definitely since shes known him, and he explains with shaking hands that they were his mama’s favorite, and it was her birthday today.

yuna feels her heart break a little bit when he tells her that she would have been younger than her, maybe too young for how old her children are considering he had an older brother, but he thought about his mama when he was happy in the hollander home, and wanted to share his mamas favorite candy with the woman who was mama to his favorite person in the world. like they got to meet, in a way. and yuna realizes very suddenly that he does the birthdays and mothers days for both her and irina because she is the closest thing he has to a mother, and she looks at him and realizes with it that he is in some ways still 12, finding his mother, and she has never met a little boy so tall and tired when she pulls him into a hug and doesnt let go till david suggests they get inside for lunch.

[anya-rozander]

— Shane, does this book make me look smart enough?

— Well, it’s doing its best, Ilya.

[ilyapasta]

The combination of their car crash hockey bodies and the beginnings of aging means that post-retirement when Ilya gives Shane his usual merciless face-down ass up marathon pound session for Shane’s 48th birthday (this one is a tough one, because Shane wants to come 8 times, because he uses the decade count to make orgasm goals of course, and these become their new scoring race) everything seems normal, Shane is blissed out drooling while Ilya feeds him grapes and a prepped protein shake and giving him 48 kisses all over his body plus more because who’s counting kisses his Shane can have as many as he wants and Shane also wants to blow Ilya for his birthday so he gets on his knees to Shane his eyes up at his husband because Ilya likes that even more now that Shane is all silvery at his temples and his hairline and wears his glasses almost full time and yeah Shane spreads his legs on his knees giving an oscar-worthy slut performance and then they eat lukewarm door dash pizza at like midnight laughing and talking and teasing and playing with Anya deep into the night and just reveling in how much they love each other after all these years and they fall into bed and everything is bliss until…

They wake up—

“Ilya.” Shane reaches out to slap Ilya’s arm. His ass is on fire more ways than one. He’d let Ilya give him as many birthday spanks as kisses and now he can’t move. “I think I’m paralyzed.”

When Ilya turns over his hip pops loud enough to break the sound barrier. He burps inside his mouth. “Call 911. They will need a crane for me. It has been wonderful knowing you, sweetheart.”

[lovemedifferentmp3]

random Wyatt Hayes headcanons because I can’t sleep (Queen Dr. Lisa under the cut)

he played college hockey for 2 years before he was drafted

his older sister Kristy didn’t come out to their parents until they were both in college and out of the house and when the parents disowned her Wyatt disowned them because there’s no universe where his big sister is NOT his family

Kristy went to U of Toronto so when Wyatt got drafted by the Guardians it felt like fate

He and Kristy were roommates his first few years in Toronto because even his ELC felt like a lot of money and that freaked him out and also it just felt nice coming home to someone that loves him bc as it turns out playing for the nhl isn’t as fun as he thought

And Kristy like the big sister she is bullies him into having a life outside of his job “because it is at the end of the day just a job, Wyatt.”

Wyatt’s hobbies include his local comics store, where he finds via a flyer about a regular game of D&D, and the community center Kristy dragged him to for one volunteer shift she did for class credit. Her work and hustle made her too busy to return (bc she refuses to let her baby brother pay for everything, nhl money or no) but Wyatt kept going back

Wyatt makes friends everywhere he goes except for on the team. The guys tolerate him okay, but if he talks to any of them too long he gets the ick (he’s not really into making friends with guys who talk about people like those he loves that way)

He only admits it to Kristy, and later to Lisa, that he thinks the head coach would have him traded long ago if it were his choice, but the gm has some weird “don’t want anyone else to have you” complex about him, which has him just. warmin the bench

Once at the community center, he catches one kid calling another “gay” as an insult and he has his own Hilary Duff PSA moment. (the kids are too young to grt the reference anyway). And then Wyatt gives them an impromptu lesson about chirping.

“The key to a good chirp is that it’s gotta be about something that a guy can change, right? Like, no one can change their sexuality, but they do have the psower to change their terrible mustache right? Or if their game is bad, you can chirp them about that, because your game is always something you can get better at.” “What if you know they can’t get better?” “Then you say nothing at all. And that’s even worse, because then they aren’t even worth the effort of chirping. You know who’s really good at all of this actually? Ilya Rozanov. No I’m serious, he never digs at guys over things they can’t change, and he’ll silent treatment anyone he doesn’t respect and it drives them crazy.”

Kristy comes home one day and faceplants on the couch going “I’m in love. And it’s TERRIBLE” bc the fling she had with a Vancouver filmmaker working on location in town is actually super serious oh noooooo

And then when Wyatt finally meets Eve (awkwardly. when he got home after midnight from a roadie and Eve was in the kitchen wearing Big Shirt No Pants.) he knows. This is it for Kristy.

Wyatt meets Lisa by chance when he takes one of his friends in to the ER for appendicitis (bc in his adventuring party he IS the guy you call when you need help moving or a ride to the hospital)

Lisa is a resident on her Emergency rotation and ofc Wyatt Notices her immediately but in a “wow she’s beautiful but she’s at her job and I am just some guy so I will not bother her” kind of way

But he’s Hazy and has little filter with his friends so he tells his buddy something like “wow. she’s beautiful.” and is immediately betrayed when the morphine hits.

Lisa is flattered and Wyatt is horrified but she accepts his apology and despite what his buddy says “you do not have to give me your number. in fact, please don’t.”

And that’s it. UNTIL.

Wyatt takes Kristy out to her favorite lesbian bar to drink her feelings over Eve, who’s on a plane to the west coast, and bumps into 🥁🥁🥁 Dr. Lisa

And then Wyatt is embarrassed all over again bc he double never had a shot with the gorgeous gay doctor and during his anxious babble Lisa catches that and blurts out that she’s not a lesbian, she’s just out with friends from work and they picked the bar.

And then they ignore their people and talk all night

At the end Lisa gives Wyatt her number with the caveat that she doesn’t have time to date or anything else. She’s not promising anything

They talk for weeks until their schedules align enough to go on a real date.

idk what the first date is rn but it ends with an AMAZING kiss and wyatt is pleading “when can I see you again” and lisa is like “I don’t know if I can” bc she’s already in too deep with this adorable younger hockey player who acts nothing like the jocks from her small town in bumfuck, ca, and he is nothing like she planned for

Hazy saying something like “I just want to spend time with you, and if the most you can do right now is a five minute coffee break, I’ll take it.”

“Five? I’m lucky if I get two.”

“I’ll gladly take it.”

And they get by on those little moments. Wyatt drops by the hospital during his gaps in schedule, bringing coffee and snacks and (most precious of all) chocolate covered espresso beans. He starts buying donuts for the nurses to bribe them. And his reputation starts to precede him when Lisa changes rotations

While he’s falling in love, Kristy is pining, and for the first time ever, Wyatt is the one to give his sister tough love, bc she’s not happy here anymore, so maybe she needs to go where she can be happy. Like Vancouver. And Wyatt has a whole life (and a girlfriend now), so Kristy should go live her own.

Okay but moving across the country is crazy. You get that’s crazy right? / So what? Swing big, Kris

And when Kristy finally meets Lisa (awkwardly, when Lisa stumbled out of Wyatt’s room at 10am in one of his shirts—bc she was sleeping in while he had morning practice) she knows that this is It for her baby brother.

Lisa is Wyatt’s date to Kristy and Eve’s wedding. Wyatt officiates, because he got one of those online certificates

Kristy returns the favor and officiates Lisa and Wyatt’s wedding a couple years later

For a minute, Wyatt was dreading doing the wedding thing because he didn’t have any family besides Kristy and Eve to invite, but he actually has a whole community that he and his sister built together

In a similar vein, Lisa decides to take Hayes as her name to start their own chapter of the Hayes family

When Eve announces that she’s pregnant, Wyatt sobs, he’s so happy and proud of his sister and her family, like, she is the bravest strongest person he knows and her dreams are coming true

And Wyatt married his dream girl, and maybe his dream job wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, but that’s life. His wife has her dream job and it pisses her off sometimes too.

When he gets to Ottawa, it makes him sad to learn just how much team culture is a choice, and that he could have been happy on a team like this the whole time? damn

he and zane boodram are team dads. ilya is captain ofc, but he’s also the goofy slavic uncle whose advice is more like a riddle at a crossroads

hazy’s top piece of advice to any rook who asks is: get people in your life who don’t give a shit about hockey. I am so serious. your life cannot only be this. give yourself one or two people to remind you of that. marry one, if you can

Cut to shane hearing this after he joins the team and being deeply confused and disturbed (Shane Hollander is of course the exception that proves the rule)

Wyatt is actually one of Shane’s first friends on the Cens bc by virtue of being a camp coach Shane knows him already, and knows that he’s a safe person. And at some point between the outing and the first game together Wyatt just gives Shane a look and asks, “you’ll be good to him, right?” and nothing wins Shane Hollander over faster than knowing that they’re looking out for Ilya

I don’t see Wyatt and Lisa having kids but I do see Wyatt being a devoted cat dad. He makes posts like that guy on the Indiana Pacers whose brand is Nerdy Cat Dad.

Also Wyatt gets pegged.

[mutinsfromthemoon]

the intern is doing a funny montage video with a bunch of questions for the centaurs and they ask shane “what do you consider to be a perfect day?” and shane answers “any day i spend with ilya is a perfect day” and the intern’s like “but you spend every day with him” and shane just deadpans “yeah? it’s been perfect since i married him” and they ask “even when you guys lose?” and shane goes “if i lose, i still go home to ilya”. and then they ask the same question to ilya and he answers “a perfect day is when i spend every single hour with shane” and the intern says “shane answered the same way” and ilya’s like “really?” and the intern tells him “he said that every day has been perfect since you guys got married” and ilya gets a little emotional and asks softly “he said that?” and the intern nods and ilya just gets up and leaves to go find his husband because he needs to give him a big sloppy kiss immediately.

[lavenderprose]

A conversation that definitely takes place on some playground somewhere in Canada almost every day of the calendar year: "I want to be Shane Hollander. No it's my TURN to be Shane Hollander. I don't want to be Hayden Pike I want to be SHANE HOLLANDER. Mom tell Parker that it's my turn to be Shane Hollander--wait--PARKER I WANT TO BE ILYA ROZANOV--"

[isolabellz]

🚨 EXCLUSIVE: The newlywed MHL couple known to the internet as hollanov spotted heating things up in Ibiza while on their honeymoon

[thepoetsarejust]

the ways shane has influenced pop culture in my head:

1. a canadian team bringing home the cup for the first time in like 20 years would have made sooo much noise, shane hollander basically put canada on the map.

2. obviously he is tumblr's boy of the year. along with superwholock.

3. in the wake of his insane b2b run there's something like linsanity happening within asian diaspora communities. shanesanity if you will. asians in hockey numbers rise up by 120% after the second stanley cup. despite this, just like in NBA, there's barely 4 asians that make it to the NHL after him.

4a. i hate to say this but. drake referenced him in his songs. something about. i learned it from shane holly y'all can never check me. back to back for those that didn't get it. and yes of course the cover is shane's stanley cup photo. you know the one.

4b. and yes when eventually in 2025 drake has his big cancellation at the superbowl, some beat reporter asks what shane thinks of drake v kendrick, and shane ofc thought he'd side with the canadian. he had to make a clarification on twitter. 

4c. ilya tweeted like "shane don't have internet sorry about him 🙁"

5. shane's face is all over montreal like shohei ohtani is all over tokyo.

6. shane gets tapped for a tim horton's commercial once and basically ate their donuts like the mcdonald's CEO and was again cancelled on twitter.

7. post outing hockey shot up into stratospheric popularity a la f1. in fact people know hockey as that one sport with the gay asian and russian. shane hates this with a burning passion. it's the fault of that one tweet that was like "so in football terms this is kinda like if messi and ronaldo are fucking" and had 47M views.