The Tornado @tornado30 - Tumblr Blog

stability

i literally can’t stop thinking about this video and i lose it every time

by Butt Poems

WHY DID THIS HAVE TO END

saysomethingsurreal

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD

chulshik

I was out with a friend tonight doing one of my fave things. Reading the backs of romance novels aloud. Found this gem.

This is honestly the most wild sounding romance novel I have ever seen and thought it might brighten someone’s day.

island-delver-go

creed-of-corruption

OK FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T REALIZE, SANDRA HILL IS THE WOMAN WHO WROTE “ROUGH AMD READY” ANOTHER EROTIC VIKING NOVEL. SOME OF THE MORE MEMORABLE QUOTES BEING:

“As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.”

“Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.”

“Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.”

YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE I HAVE READ THIS TO AT COLLEGE. ONE GUY COMPLETELY LOST IT FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES AFTER HEARING THE PHRASE “DICK ANEURYSM.”

martianbees

chocolatewarkittens

@gay-sad-ass @cottaterra @electric-angel-wings let’s start a book club? 😂😂

orbite-beast

@aqwairius

meiamandrew

The new republican healthcare bill

tsunglasses

So this bot followed me and I swear to God it’s made a better shitpost than everyone on tumblr combined

I’m fucking losing my mind here man.

ayetroyler

“see you in court sweaty:)” - an improv song by thomas sanders, ben j pierce and john cozart

trash-sonamy

do yourself a favor and follow the sonic boom writers on twitter

clientsfromhell

I set up a basic blog for the client. They asked for something bare bones, but suitable for instant use. After explaining where everything was and how to use it, the client looked confused.

Client: There are no articles… I thought you said this is where the articles would be.

Me: Yes, once they are written they will appear right here.

Client: Well can you make some then?

Me: That’s not really in the scope of what we agreed, but why not. I’ll whip something up.

Shortly thereafter I finished three filler pieces, uploaded them and consulted the client for feedback.

Client: This is excellent! So how often do these appear? Can I adjust it to upload them every day?

Me: You can upload them as soon as you want, or schedule them to post at a specific time.

Client: Wonderful! Set it so there’s a new article every morning after these three run.

Me: Um… I’m not writing any more articles.

Client: Of course not! Just set the blog to.

Me: …Wait. Do you think the blog itself wrote these articles? I did.

Client: What? That’s ridiculous. You were just supposed to program something to do that!

Me: Program?

Client: Yes! Like an app or something to create content.

Me: That’s not possible.

Client: Just because you can’t do it doesn’t mean it’s impossible!

Me: ….

Client: ….

Me: You know what, I think you’re right. I must not be as good as I thought.

Client: No kidding! I could’ve saved my money if I knew that from the get-go!

Me: You didn’t pay me anything!

Client: I’m glad I didn’t if this is the quality of work you do!

tastefullyoffensive

AAAAAA (via potatoboy)

lukecastellan

bonerfart

this website is so wild, i just saw someone post a picture of a guy holding pills with the caption “african doctor claims he has cured HIV” and there is a huge chain post of “reblog this could save lives” and “this is huge news” comments but there is no link or reference or article just a picture of a doctor and a headline