wish i was a tortoise

30 / UK / Meg - Zookeeper, she/her, queer, insta: @lizardmegs ✌ Want to be more active on tumblr! Please come and talk to me about literally anything at all! Safe space for any and all lgbtq+ 🤗

[catchymemes]

[velvetcloak]

[elizabitchtaylor-deactivated202]

When my aunt was in her late 20s people used to rudely ask her “Why aren’t you married yet?” and she’d reply “Just lucky, I guess” which I think is one of the best things I have ever heard

[picascribit]

There are 2 types of fanfic:

fanfic that I like

fanfic that is none of my business

[certainly-april]

Ragebaiting my fat dog? More like master baiting my fat hog!!!!!!!!

[grimoiremanifest]

❗️Great Hog is displeased by this.

The kingly pig looks taken aback by this statement. "You claim to be 'baiting' our kind?.. A master of it, no less - after all the trust we hsve placed in you?"

- Your relationship with the Hog Society 🐖 is now Unfavourable.

[potted-plant-official]

hsve

[grimoiremanifest]

🗡 Your left leg took 99 Pig Damage!

🗡 Your right leg took 99 Pig Damage!

❤️ Your health is in critical condition...eat a 🍎 Healing Apple to restore it!

🗡 Your left arm took 99 Pig Damage!

🗡 Your right arm took 99 Pig Damage!

🗡 Your torso took 99 Pig Damage!

❤️ Your health is fucked. There's no hope for you!

🗡 Your head took 99 Pig Damage!

❗️You have died! Cause of death - 🐗 Hog Swarm

"yea u prolly should make fun of big pig's speech impediment. where he says s insteas of A sometine. seems unwise idk" - Sun Tzu

[phantomrose96]

If you are a PET trying to help your HUMAN just remember the acronym WAY

Are you in the Way?

Are you in the wAy?

Are you in the waY?

If the answer to all three is YES then you are HELPING 👏👏👏

[watchhisjawdrop]

Wherever you are, I hope you have a beary good week 🐻‍❄️🐻🐼♥️

[ruthyless-deactivated20140511]

when i was younger i had a really bad fear of danny devito when i was going to sleep so my older brother gave me a watch that he set to like 8 hours ahead so that it was always daytime on the watch when i was asleep and he told me it would confuse danny devito and he would think it was daytime and get scared of the sun and leave me alon

[tardis-mind-palace]

Your brother is the best

[elrondbaggins]

Who the fuck changed this from vampires to Danny devito

[aliceinpunderland-blog]

the real question is why I was completely ready to accept that this person had a debilitating childhood fear of Danny Devito

[ryebreadgf]

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Corn dogs are named for their traditional meat, the unicorn. As unicorns are now extinct, they can only be referred to properly as ‘Corn Dogs and not “Unicorn Dogs” as they were prior to 2009.

[counter-facts-i-just-made-up]

This is actually a common misconception! While the Unicorn Dog did exist and was discontinued following the extinction of unicorns in 2009, the Corn Dog is not a rebranding of the Unicorn Dog! The Corn Dog was created in 2003 by James H. Corn, though it remained a relatively unpopular Ohio treat until 2010 when Mr. Corn took the opportunity left by the Unicorn Dog’s exit from the market to take over the niche.

[facts-i-just-made-up]

[counter-facts-i-just-made-up]

[rate-my-reptile]

Reach WITH IN To your LOCAL dirt and you may find A Friend And Boy…

[lilhoneycat]

[shrimpin-aint-easy]

Can you please just have an ounce of shrimpathy?

[loscharlitos]

[joy-and-whimsy-official]

Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

[depsidase]

[kamapon]

It's my birthday today!! 🎂🎉

If that's OK, could you help me with an reblog? That'd help me greatly boosting my visibility and maybe make my art reach further!✨✨

[punkjabi]

[bearforceone00]

#mynothing

[phantomrose96]

[copperbadge]

I cannot get this poem out of my head. It haunts me. Joyously, it haunts me. 

[peepingnee]

This poem format is my favorite thing and this is the first time I’ve ever seen it’s origin story. I love it. Every time.

[middle-earth-mythopoeia]

THE SACRED TEXTS!

[zetabrarian]

I forgot the context! It’s beautiful!

[medusadyke]

academic dishonesty is not something you can spin as moral lol i do not want to share a career field let alone a social sphere with a bunch of chatgpt using ass bitches

[medusadyke]

"you're just scared your diploma is going to devalue" i'm afraid you dumb bitches are going to become my colleagues and drag social services to hell

[hylianengineer]

I'm afraid they'll become scientists and data that lives depend on will turn out to be wrong - and people will die.

I'm afraid they'll become engineers and sign off on bridge designs that collapse - and people will die.

I'm afraid they'll become medical professionals who don't know what they're doing - and people will die.

The assumption that academic dishonesty is okay is rooted in the idea that what you're learning to do doesn't matter.

[constance-mcentee-deactivated20]

"The assumption that academic dishonesty is okay is rooted in the idea that what you're learning to do doesn't matter."