Not actually all that dark

Just readin' other people's Tumblrs. Reblogging what I find amusing or infuriating. I'm an adult (boy am I), but I don't blog NSFW stuff.  Maybe a bad word here and there.  Topics will be all over the map, but mostly video games, superheroes, dragons, cartoons (old and new), and dragons.  And Steven Universe. And cats!  So many cats! Also, dragons. Politics mostly reserved for my side-blog, darker-than-disco (formerly darker-than-discourse)

[great-uncle-pixel]

Jimothy

I've thrown my hat into the ring for the Jimothy Jamothy game jam, and ... I don't actually have any idea what I'm making yet. But it involves this sprite:

Join me in about fifteen minutes and see what comes of it!

http://twitch.tv/greatunclepixel

[nosimpincurly]

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

[catherinebunnington]

Reblog to materialize $250,000 in prev's bank account

[onefey]

you're going about your normal day when, suddenly, surprise! you've been pokémon mystery dungeon'd!

unfortunately, due to budget cuts, the pokémon assigning quiz has been canceled. instead, you must spin THE WHEEL, assigning you a random, unevolved, non-legendary and non-mythical pokémon. you must now go on some sort of world-saving adventure as this pokémon. good luck!

tell me in the tags what you rolled, and how you feel about it - for bonus points, you can spin the wheel again for (or just take your pick of) a pokémon to be your partner.

bonus rules:

you're not shiny unless the wheel tells you you're shiny

take your pick of regional forms and evolutions (for example, if you roll vulpix, it's up to you whether that means normal or alolan vulpix)

apply whatever logic you like with regards to gender

have fun and be yourself!

[videofame]

[darker-than-darkstorm]

Honestly my favorite Atari 2600 game, Adventure.

[great-uncle-pixel]

Breath of Fire IV stream!

Starting Any Second Now. Join me and listen to me babble about old games in general and Breath of Fire IV in particular (since that's the one I'll be playing)

http://twitch.tv/greatunclepixel

[darker-than-darkstorm]

This guy's pretty good. :D

[prokopetz]

In terms of establishing the fundamental aesthetic of the 1990s strand of cinematic cyberpunk, the 1993 Super Mario Bros. adaptation is probably up there with Johnny Mnemonic and Lawnmower Man influence-wise, as much as we all hate to admit it.

[facultativeactivity]

What the fuck

[prokopetz]

Welcome to the "learned from this post that the first major live-action feature film adaptation of a pre-existing video game franchise was a dystopian cyberpunk AU of Super Mario Bros. for some inexplicable reason" club.

[sabrieterrhisken]

I do believe the stink of this movie saved us from some far worse projects. I have no idea what those would have been, but I believe.

[prokopetz]

Are you kidding? This film was the vanguard; it may have tanked in theatres, but the novelty of it led to a number of bandwagon-jumping projects in following years. After Super Mario Bros. dropped in 1993, we had Double Dragon and the Jean-Claude Van Damme Street Fighter in 1994, then Paul W S Anderson's Mortal Kombat in 1995; the unexpected commercial success of the latter film was reportedly the deciding factor when Angelina Jolie accepted the lead role in Tomb Raider a few years later, which in turn kicked off the second wave of major live-action video game adaptations in the early 2000s that gave us the Resident Evil films

[captainwolfrandthe42nd]

Don't forget the 𝘋𝘰𝘰𝘮 Movies

[prokopetz]

I prefer to focus on positive outcomes.

[prokopetz]

#The aesthetics of this film are fascinating #I’m obsessed with the bumper car style contact poles on the vehicles (via @cantovvn)

Everything in the dinosaur dimension runs on electricity because the fact that dinosaurs never went extinct there means there's no oil.

No, seriously; that's the actual, textual explanation for why the cars look like that.

[darker-than-darkstorm]

I've said this before, but Bob Hoskins is, hands down, my favorite Mario actor of all time. I say that with *no* irony whatsoever. That's the gruff Brooklynite Mario I always pictured, not the screechy-voiced fresh-off-the-boat 1920s stereotype that Charles Martinet portrayed for so long.

(I further maintain that Van Damme's Double Impact was a better Double Dragon movie than Double Dragon, though I don't think I'm alone in that assessment. Mortal Kombat was far better than it had any right to be, and it was just plain a fun experience. And, of course, Street Fighter wasn't exactly good, but Raul Julia's M. Bison makes the whole thing worth watching, and Ming-Na Wen's Chun Li has a few good scenes, too)

[oneheadtoanother]

[shiftythrifting]

Saw this today and deadass thought it was Moral Orel and Scooby Doo

Also if the dog's name is Goliath does that mean--

😩

[darker-than-darkstorm]

That's the mostly-forgotten cartoon that Moral Oral is a parody of.

[totally-cis-offical]

Wait that explains everything so so much

[rainbow-demoness]

And since we don't face direct punishment for missing positive social cues like we do for negative ones, our coping skills and compensatory hypervigilance don't develop the same way. So we go through a world of never recognising positive signals, sometimes spotting negative signals, and knowing for sure there's more negative signals we're still missing, because those keep blowing up in our face.

Kind of fucked tbh.

[dragongirlsweetie]

the thing with heathcliff is it is designed to be funny to exactly one person (the cartoonist) and gives no regard to whether anyone else would find it funny. and that's what makes it so fascinating

[depsidase]

[darker-than-darkstorm]

At the same time, they replaced their old job search with an entirely AI-powered job search, making it less customizable and less accurate.

So don't start giving them too many props.

[moishe-pipick]

[camelidae]

Of course, many dragons choose to maintain a non-traditional hoard. The sophisticated dragon knows that a richly endowed orchard can induce as much envy and treasure-lust in the local populace as the largest piles of gold.

[spiderrrling]

I am a(n):

⚪ Male

⚪ Female

🔘 Writer

Looking for

⚪ Boyfriend

⚪ Girlfriend

🔘 An incredibly specific word that I can’t remember

[what-even-is-thiss]

*wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat*

WAIT IT’S CALLED A THROW PILLOW

[holorifle]

here is a super helpful website for this kinda thing!

the first result isn’t always the one you’re looking for but when you press enter it’ll give you a ton of words related to your query that’ll probably have what you’re wanting, or something better

here’s some examples:

[anchored-in-high-tide]

Reblog to save a writer’s sanity (the last bit that’s left)

[honeybeezgobzzzzz-deactivated20]

OneLook thesaurus is a lifesaver!

[sawed-on-shotgun]

need a hat that says I WONT SPEAK UNLESS SPOKEN TO AND ITS NOT BECAUSE IM DISINTERESTED AND DONT LIKE YOU I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND SOCIAL INTERACTION AS WELL AS MOST PEOPLE AND ASSUME BY DEFAULT MY PRESENCE IS UNWELCOME AS A PRECAUTIONARY MEASURE SO I KEEP TO MYSELF BUT I DONT MIND IF YOU INITIATE so i can wear it to work

[laterkiss]

i am like the breadloser of the family

[hymneminium]

#oh my god did gallagher just discover the term dank this is so exciting #does he know it's a weed thing?? there's no way right

Of course Peter Gallagher knows that "dank" is a weed thing. He also knows that "in heat" is a sex thing and that when aliens "probe" someone it's in the anus.

These are words, not things. Heathcliff is a comic about symbols.

You're never going to get a comic where an alien actually probes someone any more than you're going to get a comic where the Man-Eating Giant eats a man. You're just going to get a dozen comics where aliens like the word "probe".

Heathcliff wears the ham helmet because it's the helmet you wear when you eat a ham. You can tell it's that helmet because it says "ham" on it. The helmet's function is determined not by its form but by its label.

summer = beach = sand = desert = mummy and thus there is the Summer Mummy. Because of symbolic associations that do not otherwise cohere.

Robots don't wear clothes but the mere act of labeling them "nude" makes them nude. And once a painting is a nude painting there has to be a fig leaf because a "nude" without a "figleaf" is "indecent".

A "ham" is a ham even when it's a car. A yam can be a ham can be a car because "yam" sounds like "ham". Symbols have overtaken things.

[darker-than-darkstorm]

People often compare Heathcliff and Garfield because they're both about fat orange cats. But they couldn't be more different.

Heathcliff, notably, is the main character, but we never see from his point of view. It's always someone commenting about what he's doing. External viewers.

And what he's doing is usually madness, with no explanation forthcoming. The observers comment with interest but no real concern, as if this stuff was slightly unusual but not truly weird.

Except it is truly weird. Ridiculous, even. The world is similar to ours --except where it intersects with Heathcliff.

I don't think it used to be this way (I remember it being a more "normal" strip back in the 1980s and 1990s), but that's the niche the comic has fallen into in the 2020s.