definitely a real person @totallynotafakename - Tumblr Blog

spin-the-wheel-polls

you have to get this piercing!

Do you like it?

I have it!

Yes!

yes but I wouldn't get it

No

Wouldn't be worth it

Results/other

Remaining time: 5 days 17 hours

#belly button #i got one when i was 19 and my body rejected it…so probably no

benwarheit

Things I like about this decal on a restaurant window: -the insane orange waiter -that he’s carrying his plates in the air like a strongman -the couple looks like this isn’t the first time he’s done this, but it’s easier to just let it happen at this point. -the sign says PASTA as if he’s screaming it like a frankenstein -but he’s holding a plate of an entire chicken and a plate of wine glasses -there’s three wine glasses -one’s for him.

#i think about this insane orange waiter on a regular basis #peak ot3 dynamic

courtyardhound

me, unraveling at work: it's like that saying, you know, when you have-- A KNIFE. When you have a knife, everything looks stabbable.

my BOSS: ... when you have a hammer...?

me: -- yeah.

#a lot of things look stabbable even when you don’t have a knife #but very much wish that you did

ruinedchildhood

jackhawksmoor

#witchcraft #aka geometry

cristalplanetheart

bigbigtruck

sucking at something is the first step to getting good at it

#oohhh my god #it’s crazy how you can go so many years of your life not knowing that the one thing you needed above all else #was to see a bunch of baby flamingos doing their thing #perfect creatures

thestuffedalligator

Human Is is a 1955 Philip K. Dick sci-fi short story where a guy goes to another planet for work and when he comes back to Earth his personality has flipped from an asshole to a sweet, kind, considerate man. Everyone's immediately convinced that an alien has taken over his body, this goes all the way to court, and in court his wife testifies that she's noticed no changes at all and so the charges are dropped.

And then there's a bit right at the end of the story as the wife and the husband are walking out of court:

Jill turned abruptly. "What is your name? Your real name."

The man's gray eyes flickered. He smiled a little, kind, gentle smile. "I'm afraid you would not be able to pronounce it. The sounds cannot be formed..."

Jill was silent as they walked along, deep in thought. The city lights were coming on all around them. Bright yellow spots in the gloom. "What are you thinking?" the man asked.

"I was thinking perhaps I will still call you Lester," Jill said. "If you don't mind."

"I don't mind," the man said. He put his arm around her, drawing her close to him. He gazed down tenderly as they walked through the thickening darkness, between the yellow candles of light that marked the way. "Anything you wish. Whatever will make you happy."

And I. God. There's something there. A soupcon of monsterfuckery. To tell your partner in a moment of intimacy that yes, you're something so inhuman that the lips you're stealing can't speak your actual name. You're a parasite that not only had the ability to burrow under this man's skin and take over his life, but you were so desperate to escape a dead, dry, blasted planet that you did.

And for your partner to then turn around and go "I know, I've always known, and I love you" is just. God I know it's not a great Dick story but something about it is making me lose my mind

thestuffedalligator

Also it's explicitly stated that the guy's consciousness is still alive and preserved on the alien planet. Jill is told this and then proceeds to defend the alien anyways, ensuring that her husband's brain is stuck in a jar on a desert planet. You love to see it

#this is a fable to me #the moral is don’t be a piece of shit to your wife if you don’t want to end up stuck as a brain in a jar on a desert planet

anarchomikeism

ancaporado

wageronvoluntaryism

Never forget what they took from us.

wageronvoluntaryism

For those asking how it compares today

cheese-sample-official

and also

bmxpotato

Mid-year 2026 update (this is without tax):

slightlyirritable

Remember this the next time someone argues that raising the minimum wage will raise prices

bethanyactually

to be clear, the U.S. federal minimum wage in 1999 was $5.15/hour, so a worker who made the minimum wage could buy the items on that receipt with 41 minutes of work.

in 2026, the federal minumum wage is $7.25, so a worker who makes minimum wage would have to work 95 minutes--more than twice as long--to buy those same items.

#and now the inflation calculator claims that $3.50 in 1999 has the same buying power as $7.03 today #but the economy is better than it ever has been y’all 😑#fucking politics

verymarykate

80's Mom's, Part 2 - More Parenting in the 80's

#the internet one was the 90s #but otherwise yeah accurate #tiktok is ok sometimes i guess

bovineblogger

(src)

#weird fish #perfect creature

were--ralph

the problem with tumblr spells is all of you lil sluts are casting and not giving it time to charge so you're all casting cantrips and not 9th level death spells. everyone wants to be the one to take them down no one wants to be the one who assists

were--ralph

we're going to try again witha little but minimal casting

IT will happen in August of 2026. like to charge and reblog to cast but cast sparingly

were--ralph

Wait stop. everyone +like now and spread it a little but cast on the same day in August. lets try August 6th or something.

were--ralph

CAST NOW!!!

CAST MORE

#willing it into reality

rozieramati

#the sentiment is correct #but it’s weirding me out so much that the horse part of the centaur is the same color as the human part #now i can’t stop thinking about horses that are just covered in human skin #i hate it so much

sleepynegress

Okay... so this is right up my alley. More weird whimsy and quirk in the romance genre... and more jaded suffer-no-fools women, instead of the creepy age-gaps, please and thank you

umber-cinders

I WILL WATCH THE FUCK OUT OF THIS! Monster romance books prepared me for thiissss!

aetherograph

OH MY GOD MY

FAVOURITE

FAIRY TALE ON THE WHOLE EARTH???

FOR REAL????

#splinters? in HER vagina? it’s more likely than you think.

bovineblogger

(src)

#i’m so jealous #this is the dream #perfect creature

wizard-of-interesting-failure

watercolormagicalgirl

uhuh100

up next, the triangle.

we know what hole that goes in, right?

uhuh100

that's right, the square hole!

letssnowstreamwings

tumblr-style performance art

#you really can't get this kind of content anywhere else #chicago posting

desolendate

im literally in tears what the fuck

totallynotafakename

some quality answers suggested in the original post

fedoraspooky

whoever's idea it was to have womens t-shirts have those tiny sleeves that go way up into the armpits must have done that maliciously

#this is right up there with lack of pockets in terms of the vileness that is women’s fashion #WHO wants their tshirt sleeves digging into their armpits??? there’s no way this was designed as anything other than a torture device

penissuperfluous

Truly distressing high street find. @shiftythrifting Not technically from a thrift store but a costume shop/ rental house. But. You kinda have to see this.

Creepy hairy human face mask! It must just be plastic on the back, right? Right?

Nope. animal skin.

100% guaranteed curse if you put this thing on i will not be doing that though.

#look this thing definitely fuses to your face and turns you into some kind of animal if you put it on #the question is does it turn you into like. a normal animal.#or does it turn you into some kind of bipedal hunched over human/animal abomination that will definitely get you hunted by angry villagers #oh wait i just noticed that it has no mouth and it must scream. so...it's definitely the second option.

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definitely a real person