Toxic-Discard

Romanticize My Misery

[kohoe]

constantly switching between being horny as fuck and not feeling anything at all

[toxic-discard]

Fist Fights with Butterflies

You should have known better

I’m not helpless I never was I’m quite the opposite

I am so so so many things

I’m selfless, I’m smart, I’m spiritual

I have morals

Quick to forgive with a quick wit

I’m helpful I’m poetic

I’m strong - resilient even

I’m capable of change I’m adaptive I’m emotionally apt

I was so so so many things

And I was pretty too

Pretty is the last thing you should have noticed about me because I am…

So. Much. More.

I am reckoning. I am substance.

And you should have known better

Because I just happened to be an orphaned butterfly that fell into your palm with a broken wing

You knew what I was…

…yet you crushed me…

Because you were so so so many things too

You were resentful and angry and bitter to the world for what you didn't have

And that hatred blinded your ability to appreciate that everything you never had, you have now

That hatred blinded your ability to realize that

the war had been won

And that hatred was creating a black hole inside your heart screaming insatiable

And you pointed your finger at the

world

You crushed me to turn your fist to the world.

You made me so small that i just did spoken word again

I never thought i would feel that hurt again

If you read it over it could be about my father too

That’s the shitty thing about poetry

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Nitya Prakash

[thisismynamenowxpoetry]

I still miss you you fucking idiot

[morusasworld]

“fucking stressed fucking depressed” blackbear via twitter

[lockscreensandedits]

super cool and into this lol

(not mine)

[toxic-discard]

And so she did.

She said she would always be looking for you in the crowd if you ever got lost . She would be looking for you like an eager child at the lost and found. And you’re elated. Your excited you feel safe you feel grown you feel like you finally found your home. But she DIDNT consider what would happen if she stopped. As if the moment she stops looking for you is the moment YOU stop being lost.

And you wait and you wait, and nobodys looking for you. And then you start looking and you see her happy. You see her alone. You realize she never searched for you

AND YOU GET IT, she was cold. She was reserved and she was independent but YOU wanted to be more to her than just a coat , just a coat she wears for the moment until she gets home cause shes cold. You weren’t even MADE to be a coat but YOU tried for her. You shaped yourself and you fell into YOUR own trap . And you realize she used you like a mirror to self reflect and grow. Picking out the pieces of you that were slow. Discovering the pieces of your clock that didnt tick , using it as a reflection of her own. She upgraded herself and then left you alone. When all you ever wanted was for her to take you home

[toxic-discard]

Yeah, still you out here actin' like it's my fault

Yeah, I ain't never said I was an angel, ah no

I know myself enough to know what I need

Showed your true colors, I don't like what I see

Story keeps changin', I know what that means

Know what that means, I know what that means

How'd you go from bein' that somebody I believed

Into bein' someone doubtin' me behind the scenes?

Can't forgive a sorry that I ain't ever received

I mean least you coulda done was gave me an apology

But you're so prideful

Takin' what you need, then blame it on me, man

That's so prideful, ayy, prideful

Callin' me conceited, oh, that's how you see it

Well, that's so

[toxic-discard]

this is my last call

start the dial

star 67

(Beep)

everytime I’m near you I feel like im in heaven

I know I fucked up but theres a few things i aint mention

your my morning star and im hell bent over you

so come through

take me to the fire place

let me confess my sins

(start new)

like a guardian angel you can tell me what to do

[toxic-discard]

the devil used to lay in my bed

the devil use to be my best friend (yeah!)

the devil use to be my lover

and now I’m

and now I’m

and now I’m fucking psycho

now I’m on the couch and I’m thinking about us

and I’m thinking about trust

and I know it wasn’t lust

but this was too fragile for us to call it love

and everytime I look back I start to miss the comfort (what a bummer!)

now im on these drugs and we never had our summer

one year, two years wasted

(they’re just numbers!!)

now they’re in the gutter

burnt like fucking rubber (ow!)

now an angel is tryna lay in my bed

now an angel wants to be my best friend (yeah!)

now an angel wants to be my lover

but now I’m but now I’m now I’m fucking psycho

[wearehavingafiresale]

Everyone needs things differently. But who can give me what i need? Why do I need more? Contentedness fills inside the hearts and bodies of the masses. Stopping short of what they should have, and instead filling themselves with poison. It's such an attractive toxin, to think you can tame the untamable. To think that out of all the attempts from those before you, whose dreams and effort have been suffocated, that you can tame that beast. Maybe that's what you need, but i need more.

I don't want the poison, I want the sun. I want the sun to shine a light into my soul and awaken who I truly am. The sun to shine so bright it, the only thing that can put it out is death. But I sometimes dip into the toxin. It sees me best when I am weak. It can smell me. It wants me. And I succumb. But in the end, I need more. 

Occasionally, a light will shine. But it's the sludge in disguise. Trying to infect me. The poison is here and available for everyone. Until its not. And when it is not is when you need it most. So you become the toxicity. You infect others. But it's not the same. Nothing can make you feel better. The pyramid has already started expanding. The people that you infect are infecting others and it stems from you. But I always get away, because I need more.

It's just not enough for me. I sink in, but I always get out. The more I sink, the faster I get out. It's getting harder and harder to search for my sun. It's the only thing keeping me living. It's the only thing that makes me go back to the poison. A neutral life sounds great. I need more.

James Nash

[justanxn]

no guilt just love

[rotten-innocence]

I gave up everything to be with you.

All you've done is trauatize me..

[under-vegas-skies]

we love best high

we love best high

I think we love best high,When we can’t form a coherent thought,And the feelings are all we have, to know what’s real.That’s when we are in sync and in love,Tracing our names onto our skin,Only to feel the emotions vibrate off a single touch,But maybe,Maybe this is how we are meant to love,Focused on a feeling, an emotion we can’t name,But only feel,I think, I think we love best drunk, Because,…

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