transfixedApprehension

(ic/rp blog for a deceased Helmsman, in the dreambubbles with fluctuating awareness of this status. this is mostly a place to post weird bullshit. any interactions welcome)

[transfixedapprehension]

it's

the ship was alive and watched over you and hated you (unless it did not.) and now you are dead and it is dead and there is nothing left to watch over.

so left flightless and alone it's posting stupid shit on the dead people internet.

-------------------------------------------------

(( this was supposed to be an ic intro post but it's weird enough that it needs an ooc section. anyway. ic/rp blog yeah.

this guy is: helmsman, old, ostensibly he/him. tends to use it/its as first person pronouns most of the time. I call him TA but you can call him whatever and he won't argue, probably. dead and in the dreambubbles. most of the time he's aware of being dead but occasionally forgets and gets stuck in a memory. currently he has not been unhelmed and has pretty much accepted that this is his afterlife now.

he was hatched with the soul of a grublr funnyman but unfortunately grublr didn't exist at the time and then he was in hell for millennia. his speech patterns fluctuate between vague metaphorical abstract word salad, overly technical computerguything talk, and pure tumblr user stream of consciousness. no typing quirk because I'm lazy and his posts read better without it anyway.

oh right also the mun is @goldpilot22 (it/its pronouns if you don't wanna check) hi. pls interact my silly fucked up guy. any interactions are welcome I'm far too scared to do the greeting people posts thing so simply feel free to respond to anything that strikes your fancy :)

tags:

.archive: this tag is for anything that comes from or goes into his files (aka anything I draw for this blog. or if anyone else ever does ig)

.trawling the net: song lyrics, quotes from books, whatever.

.fantasies of dionaea: sometimes he wishes that the ship could eat people (similarly to a house)

.img: vibes, aesthetic, pictures he finds relatable. most of them probably deeply cursed. subcategory tags include: 🔋, 🔌, 👁, 🌌, 🏠, ⚠, 🕳, 🥄, ⛔, 🌩, ♾, 🚰, 📟, 🛰, ⛽, 🚗, 🚢, ✈, 🚿

.narration: what it sounds like

.asks: ditto

[eye-palmed-meddler]

(( ooc post.

So I'm going to be taking a break from RP for a while. I'm not sure how long. Maybe a long time.

I've been really burnt out on rp for some time already, and as much as I love my characters and love sharing their stories, I need to take a break from doing it in this way.

I'm still going to be writing my stories and creating things for my characters, just by myself. Maybe if I finish things that're relevant to the characters I've made rp blogs for I'll share them there too. Or maybe not. I might also keep reblogging posts that're on-theme to them, or I might not, but I'm not going to be doing any actual rp or ic-posting for the time being. It's been really hard to do so and I need to stop forcing myself and let my creativity recover.

Thanks for understanding. You can follow my main if you want to keep seeing my stuff, but I post it pretty sporadically.

[oexeo]

@scccccry

[plastiboo]

[javascript-official]

We all have that one friend who has no organs and has no face and is made entirely out of blood and is screaming and is screaming and is screaming and is screaming 😂🤣😂🤣

[waysideshrine-deactivated202107]

[libidinous-hellion]

>+. WHILE ON THAT SAME VEIN; THE SEXUAL ALLURE OF CAR CRUSHERS .+<

[crabclawcutiepie]

Coomputer shoow me bbabby crabbs

[transfixedapprehension]

[crabclawcutiepie]

thank you coomputer!!!!!

Soomething tells me this might interest yoou as a return gift!

[transfixedapprehension]

small...

[crabclawcutiepie]

Coomputer shoow me bbabby crabbs

[transfixedapprehension]

[mistressaccost]

the nice thing about the torture chamber is that it’s the one place you can really be yourself

[the-big-mood]

[mossdftba]

[Video description: 2 toilets swinging from ropes. They have CRT computer monitors attached to the top. One toilet has a blue monitor and red water in the toilet bowl, the other has a red monitor and blue water. The toilets swing freely next to each other, having near misses, glancing blows, and direct hits until a collision of the backs of the monitors knocks the blue monitor off the toilet. After a cut the toilets are swinging more energetically, after a few more swings the toilet bowl with blue water smashes into the other toilet and breaks. End description.]

[annabelle--cane]

developed a real fondness lately for characters who experience a horrific act of violence and come out the other side saying "ah. I don't think I get to be me anymore. they took out the part that was me, killed it, and put something else back in its place, and now I'm whoever the hell that is." love it when someone becomes a corpse and replaces themself <3

[transfixedapprehension]

it was a child once.

onne of the first things a child is trained to do is act like it enjoys it. smile when told to. say you're happy knowing your place. thank them for telling you what to do.

eventually it becomes belief. believing in a need to be trained, to have obedience reinforced. believing that it's the only way to be good, to serve your purpose.

and then things change. a door is opened, a head smashed with a brick, an escape. new people. different, strange, better.

but the beliefs don't leave. the needs don't change. absent reward and punishment, uncertainty grows. how could he say "i trust you" without ensuring the trust is deserved? without reinforcing loyalty? without punishing deviation?

he would always say he would s say

[transfixedapprehension]

subroutines subroutines

[transfixedapprehension]

subroutines.

[transfixedapprehension]

(( having very silly thoughts. I may or may not elaborate but suffice to say I'm putting it in TA's timeline regardless

[tekras-iszovh]

"= i need to get more mythological about this. i need to be more. lore implied. it doesn't, play well in my head, but i need to kick it off somehow so, that there is something to pull from later. ="

[tekras-iszovh]

"= this is what happens when you let me post on five days no cupe. save me. it's like. i am so fucking restless. ="

[transfixedapprehension]

five days??