she had always thought, deep down inside, that they had been right about her. that she was a villain, a murderer. cold-blooded. cruel. her temper and rage had gotten the better of her, and no matter what her intentions were, she had killed someone. no, not someone– she had killed her best friend. her brother. that he lived and breathed in front of her didn’t matter. she had still killed him.
“ yes. ” she whispered, looking away from him. looking away from those eyes that bore into her soul. “ i do think that. i think that all the time. that i am what they say i am. a villain. a murderer. a monster. that deep down inside, no matter how much i try to be better– i could still let my anger get the better of me. i could still go too far. i could still kill someone again. ”
a tear ran down her cheek, and she wiped it away quickly before looking at him. her symbiote felt– well, it felt upset. angry at this admittance. at this display of weakness, and vulnerability to something that should be her enemy. something she should be fighting. the inner turmoil was strong. “ but i’m trying, peter. i almost killed harry, i could have killed him. and it was getting to a point where it was kill or be killed. i wanted to kill murdock, and the inheritors and everyone else who has hurt me or the people i love. but i haven’t. i’ve resisted. ”
“ what you did doesn’t make me your friend? ” she laughed, and was scared at how cold it sounded. how high it was. “ peter– you did nothing to me. you barely even scratched me. i killed you. i kicked, and punched and beat you until your heart couldn’t take it and you died in my arms. ”
“ i should be your enemy. but i’m not going to be. not anymore. i won’t try to stop you, or treat you like some monster or freak. i’m not about to kill peter parker again. ”
“you may have no choice, but to kill me.” ironic, truly that he’d use such words, but he already knew it would happen again. he’d either get too wild or get too angry. he’d lash out and hurt her. he’d become a threat and he’d end up right back to where he started from.
an endless circle because peter parker couldn’t get a happy ending. not here at least, maybe if he went some where else he could get one or... maybe not. he wasn’t too sure. what he did want was something more. something else. something that maybe meant a new start for him.
“i’m not like harry and i’m not like the peter parker you killed.” he was, but he wasn’t. not entirely at least. he knew he was, but also that there was something else there. something more... feral. something else, but he couldn’t place his finger on t.
“i’m something new. something that i haven’t even figured out yet,” he said, pausing for a moment. “i suppose we both have changed - not just in looks. i...” he trailed off for a moment, shaking his head. “i was threatening others. i could have killed everyone... you thought i was just some freak and for a while maybe you were right.”
“we both should be many things, but at the end of the day? i’m still,” he gestured to himself. “this... monster. nothing can change that. not you, not harry, not anyone.”
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