it was hosted on livejournal at maiyuu.livejournal.com/487.html but it’s all deleted now, even the entire account. all i remember is it made me cry a LOT and it was really amazing. i think it was about yosuke getting bullied really hard for how he looked and a nude he took got leaked but souji helped him a lot and they were happy together? i think. please please please, i really want to read it again, if anyone knows what i’m talking about and has some archive or something of it please tell me, it was really damn good
july 14 2020 update: a kind soul on here found it and i archived everything into 1 google doc and i’m saving it as a pdf in multiple places so i never lose it again. here’s the link to the original livejournal post with the full thread and my google doc! if you want access to the pdf maybe email me or something idk lmao
BE WARNED, SERIOUSLY, CONTENT WARNING: sexual content, sexual assault, suicide attempt, blackmail, seriously bullying and physical abuse.
https://files.catbox.moe/h78o85.pdf but not sure how long this will stay up
i still don’t know who wrote it, they only went by authornon and later the LJ it was hosted on called itself maiyuu. if you ever see this, thank you for your amazing and heart wrenching work.
also.... i’m back on my souyo bullshit. idk i saw that the p4 live stage play was finally uploaded in its entirety to youtube a couple months ago today and it just stirred something up in me. i don’t use tumblr anymore, idk if i’ll revive it to post again, but i’ll definitely be posting future new souyo fics on my ao3, username chockie. and i’m more active on my fb page @chockiedockie so check that out! twitter at the same handle, though i don’t really use that much either...
also i was cleaning up my tumblr stuff and found this sitting in drafts untouched for months to years lmao so please take it, i wrapped it up quickly just now
--
Last to leave the classroom, and probably the last to depart from the school grounds, Yosuke slung his bag over his shoulder and bumped it to rest on his back with his waist, running a hand through his already frazzled hair. His face was haggard. It was not a good day so far, and there wasn’t much left of it to prove otherwise... Or so he thought.
It’d be pretty hard to change it around at this point, though, he reflected, looking rather haunted by recent events. Detention for dozing off from the first period, getting called on, like, way more times than normal, having to clean up after all the clubs, after they were done, and Souji going off on his own after school instead of being a good friend and waiting for me... Like, geez.
He closed his eyes and grasped his temples firmly, between thumb and fingers, and released one huge sigh, as if he were letting go of his grudges and tensions accumulated throughout the day into the chilly air. Hold for a few seconds, breathe out slow, and... He was back. Though he didn’t look forward to returning to the hectic, loud arguments that came with him arriving home, he looked forward to dinner.
“I’m fuckin’ famished, damn.” He thought aloud to himself, trying to suppress his tummy rumbles as he grabbed his shoes out of his locker and dropped them onto the floor, the hard soles making a bit of a clatter as they hit the muddy looking tile. Not that there was any point to trying to hide his tummy rumbles, as there was nobody left in the school to hear it. He sighed again.
“Ditto.” came a voice, out of the blue, sending Yosuke bristling.
“Wh- Who’s there?”
In the abnormally gloomy lighting of the fading, already-late afternoon, it was natural Yosuke would be spooked. Being alone in your own school, out smack bang in the middle of the sticks, with no daylight to shine comfortingly through windows, and the lights in the hallways flickering off (sometimes, on), of course it would be unsettling. Teenage horror flicks used this setting all the time, after all. Too many of which Yosuke had watched, making the effect of that all too clear at this very moment as a tall figure drew itself out of the shadows between the rows of shoe lockers. He felt his shoulders involuntarily tighten and every hair on his body stand on end, the one hand still frozen in the process of closing his shoe locker as the shadow took one resounding, dignified step towards him...
For a stark moment, everything around him was illuminated in light as bright as day, and he looked into the face of what was bound to kill him-
Cracka- booom.
The lightning went away as quickly as it came, and finally Yosuke got a proper eyeful of the source of the requited dialogue.
“...Souji?”
“Yo.” His best friend raised one hand in greeting, offering a small smile. Water dripped from his pants legs and onto the tiled floor before the entrance of the school.
“Jesus, don’t scare me like that, holy shit.” Yosuke wiped his brow, his face falling into an easy grin as all his worries melted away now that his partner was here-
Wait, no, you’re supposed to be mad at him.
Despite his relief at seeing a familiar- very familiar- face, and someone who could perhaps accompany him safely home, he forced his grin into a disapproving frown.
He watched the small smile of affection wither off his partner’s face and almost felt his heart break, but a parent cannot give in to a disobedient child. He remained steadfast, staring his partner down, eyeballing him hard, willing him to apologize for just bailing with no explanation, and crossed his arms, shifting his weight onto one leg.
Their eye contact remained tense, almost electric, as if the lightning from a few moments ago had conducted itself into their gazes, for a few seconds that stretched for what felt like an eternity. Finally, Yosuke broke it. Evidently, the dense idiot wouldn’t simply realize what was wrong.
“You’re not going to apologize for just leaving me the moment school was out? Seriously, dude?”
“Heheh...” Oh, the sheer nerve of him to laugh. This was no laughing matter. Yosuke frowned harder.
“You look cute when you pout like that.”
He felt blood rush into his face, all at once, heat searing across his cheeks and rising from his neck all the way to the tops of his ears.
“Sh-shut up! What the fuck, I’m- I’m seriously mad, here!”
He felt his facade- it was a facade- tremble.
“I’ll tell you on the way back.” The smile- that damn smile- was back now. To hide his flustered auto-reaction, he quickly turned his head away and looked down, making a show of putting on his shoes.
“You’re not supposed to just fuckin’ leave a friend hangin’, man, that’s just common courtesy...” He mumbled to himself, but his words appeared to fall on deaf ears. Souji was already walking towards the doors, his head tilted up to look at the state of the weather.
“...Can’t just bail like that without saying anything...” Yosuke finished tying his other shoelace and stood up, still ‘frowning’, still mumbling, but his words trailed off. He walked and stood by Souji’s side, both of them now staring up at the absolutely ridiculous downpour falling from the sky. Another peal of thunder rang out through the school, bouncing off the empty hallway walls.
“You have an umbrella, right? You always bring it. Even if it’s not raining. ‘Cause you’re a weirdo.”
“Nope.”
They were silent for a bit more, staring out.
“Nope?”
“Nope.”
A little bit more silence, as they marvelled at this ridiculous rain that Inaba hadn’t seen in a long time. Rainy days, sure, but never to this extent.
“Wait, what?”
It was at this moment that Yosuke’s eyes widened and he turned to face his friend incredulously.
“Yep, sorry.” Souji shrugged, nonchalant.
Almost comically, Yosuke turned back to look outside, then back at his friend.
“What the hell are we going to do now?! And we can’t take my bike, Teddie took it when he followed some cute girls... somewhere.”
“We could wait it out, I guess.”
“Dude, I don’t want to stay here a minute longer than I have to! I’ve done my damn time already! And there’s no telling when it’ll freaking stop, either.”
“We could run, really fast.”
•
“Fuuuuuuuuuck!” Yosuke screamed, as he followed Souji two steps behind and got immediately assaulted with a face full of rain.
“What? I can’t hear you!” Souji shouted over the din of the rain.
“I said- Nevermind!” Yosuke struggled to keep his arms shielding what little they could of his head and body, not really accomplishing much. “We need to get somewhere dry, fuckin’ SOON! Damn it!” They kept running, each hasty footstep making an impressive splash and soaking an even more impressive surface area of pants-leg.
“Dojima doesn’t really care if I get back or not, do you wanna go to your house?”
Even in a situation like this, Souji could remain measured, calm... controlled. Even his voice was steady. Internally, Yosuke shook his head and chalked it up to just... Souji being Souji. Thank the gods for that, though, he certainly knew it was helpful.
“Your house is closer! Fuck, fuuuuck, my damn hair...! Damn it!”
For a few moments, the boys continued to run without passing dialogue, making their risky venture their main focus, particularly as neither wanted to slip and potentially kill himself.
Finally, long after both had been soaked to the bone and were no longer trying to bother covering themselves from the endless assault hailing mercilessly down on them, the familiar, cosy looking house with the Dojima nameplate proudly displayed on the front appeared on the horizon, seeming to glow brightly next to the many other houses around it. As a second wind washed over them, the boys made mad dashes to their destination, yearning for the warmth of the kotatsu, and the fawning care they would receive from Nanako... the payoff almost made the time they had spent running like idiots in the storm worth it. Almost.
Yosuke nearly slipped during the sharp turn through the gate and towards the entrance, but in the nick of time, his partner had lunged and grabbed his arm, using his momentum to pull both of them to the front porch. Yosuke shucked off his shoes wordlessly and collapsed face first on the step while Souji pulled the door shut firmly behind them, the two remaining silent, the only noise being their heavy breathing.
Both decided to take a breather, just staying there on the front step inside, although Souji heroically managed to croak out a feeble, “I’m home...”
A pitter pattering of a child’s footsteps down the stairs announced Nanako’s arrival. Her smile seemed to be all that was necessary to suddenly rouse Souji, strength returning to him in an instant as he leapt to his feet and hugged Nanako back.
“Big bro! You’re home!”
“Yes.”
Unfortunately, her cheer was not enough to bring Yosuke out of his dilapidated state. A trembling hand attempted to raise itself in greeting, but alas, it was too much for the poor boy. Hand in hand, Souji and Nanako turned to look at him, as he pushed out a shuddering, final breath.
•
He came to, lying on a comfortably familiar futon mattress. Groaning, he flipped himself over, cringing at the twinge of pain from the stitch that had still not gone away from the run home, and inhaled into the pillow deeply. He felt himself freeze when he realized he recognized the scent; of his partner.
Blood rushed into his cheeks again. Thank the gods he had already buried his face in his pillow because had his partner actually seen that shameless display of gayness he wouldn’t ever show his face in Inaba ever-
“Sorry, it’s the only futon that was close by to grab in time before you KO’d.” came an even voice that could belong only to one Souji Seta, kneeling placidly by his side.
“Fuck! I seem to recall specifically asking you not to do that, geez.” He had jerked fully awake and sat up straight when he heard his partner’s voice. Now, he was staring into those familiar deep grey eyes.
“I didn’t know you were that lacking in the sports department, actually. Considering how fast you are in the TV world, it was-”
“And you can shut up, too. I had a long day, and I was already pretty beat when we met.”
Souji went silent, though their eye contact had broken off and he seemed to be looking at the floor.
“Oh, are you finally feeling guilty about bailing on me earlier? What was the deal with that anyway, really?” Yosuke’s arms crossed again, and he was determined this time not to let himself give in without an explanation.
“Well...” Uncharacteristically, the usually stoic Souji bit his lip, as if he were nervous. “I, uh... Social links, and stuff. I was kind of lacking in the Courage department, and I-”
“What the hell are you talking about? Social whats? Dude, you’re being weird.” Yosuke’s eyes narrowed. “I’m just looking for an apology...”
“Oh- well- Sorry. I’m sorry, Yosuke.”
“Thanks, dude. I appre-”
“Please forgive me!” In a flash, Souji’s forehead was on the ground between his two palms. “I just... can’t explain. Please understand.”
“Haha, chill, it’s okay. I accepted your apology.” Yosuke chuckled as he bowed his head in acceptance. “That aside, though, we’re both still soaked to the skin, aren’t we?” He gingerly pinched at the material of his shirt and inspected it closely. “Yup, that’s not going to dry fast. Got any spare clothes or anything, partner?”
Souji slowly rose from the floor, eyeing the room. “I guess, but I was gonna wash up anyway...”
“No kidding! I could way go for a hot bath right about now.” He edged off the futon and picked up the towel he had been lying on. “Nanako brought these up?”
“Yeah. We don’t have that many towels though, they got caught out in the rain with the rest of the laundry, and Nanako used some to wipe the water leaking into the house, so... We only have the one left.”
“Well, shit. And this one’s already soaked through ‘cause of me lying on it, huh?”
“Seems like it... Sorry.”
“Guess I’ll have to wait until you’re done with your bath ‘til I get my turn. No towel to huddle in... My balls are just gonna shrivel out here!” Yosuke smiled wryly and drew his knees in towards his chest, still dripping onto the tatami since he was trying to be careful not to wet the checkerboard carpet. “Keeping warm the old fashioned way... Lame.”
“Well, you could always bathe with me.”
Yosuke’s frantic pawing at his shoulders for warmth came to a halt, immediately.
“...Dude, seriously?”
“Well, I’m just offering. If you’re offended or anything, you don’t have-”
“No, I mean, for real? I can?”
“...Oh. Yes.”
“Well,” he stood and grinned, albeit with a little nervousness tainting the curve of his lips. “As long as it’s, like, a no homo, just-bros-being-dudes-being-friends thing, right? And it’s not like we haven’t really seen each other naked before like on the school camping trip, or whatever, so...”
“...Right.” Souji tried his best to hide a small smile.
“Hey, what’s that mystery smile for? You planning to do something weird, partner?”
“It’s like that day in the tent. I’m confident enough in my manhood for this. Are you...partner?”
In his typical, quiet one liner-then mic drop way, Souji turned on his heel and made his way to the bathroom.
“Mind you,” he called over his shoulder. “It’s not exactly a big tub.”
“I’m not picky.” Yosuke began to unbutton his shirt as he followed his friend. “And besides, I’d bet a thousand yen you’re just underestimating your house like you do with your di-”
Souji stopped, mid-undressing, shirt gone and pants one leg off. Their eyes met again. “What?”
“Man... You weren’t kidding about the size this time.”
“Nope.” As collected as ever, the boy continued to take off his pants. “Is there a problem?”
“Will we even... fit in there?”
“Yeah, it definitely fits two people.”
“You- how- what? Actually, I’m not gonna ask.” Yosuke shrugged off his shirt and began to unbutton and unzip his pants, focused at the task at hand while still allocating some attention to keep up their usual banter, which was currently just him talking about the trials and tribulations of his day and Souji hm-hmming in response. To make things less awkward, he reasoned. Not that it’s really awkward at the moment, anyway.
As he finally peeled off his briefs, he heard the sound of the water come on.
“Give it some time to warm up. It’s not exactly the newest technology around, being in Yasoinaba.”
“Yeah, no worries.”
The boys stood next to the tub, both watching the water spurt out of the tap in silence, a bit unevenly at times. The moment was reminiscent of in the school and the pouring rain, which to Yosuke already felt like years ago.
The air wasn’t awkward, per se- it was companionable. Souji didn’t seem to be fazed by it, in any case, though Yosuke felt a little bit antsy. His eyes wandered the small bathroom, finally settling on watching his partner out the corner of his eye, his gaze noticing (not for the first time) the surprisingly well-worked, toned body by his side. He had abs, all right, and strong shoulders, and fading scars in places a normal person wouldn’t expect, but Yosuke knew they were from the countless hours they had spent in the TV world, the many times that both of them had come close to fatal death healed quickly but not in time for the surface wound to scar. One was particularly long, drawn down Souji’s side and cutting across his ribs, stopping just short of a hip bone. There was a little bit of fuzz, a little bit of a treasure trail leading down to one impressive thing that seemed to be a bit bigger than he remembered... Almost as if he was already at half mast.
Yosuke felt himself flush, his face get hot-
“Admiring the goods again?” Unreadable as ever, Souji turned his head slightly to look at his friend.
“Just- Just credit where credit’s due, I guess.” Yosuke forced his eyes to look away, at anything, at the tiny tiles lining the walls, at the water flowing out the tap. “O-oh, looks like the water’s warmed up. Man, God knows I need it at this point, hahaha.” He sighed an internal sigh of relief for the distraction.
When he entered the small pool, it burned for a split second- then it was as if he was melting into its embrace. Of his own accord, he groaned and rolled his eyes, arching his back and stretching his limbs, slowly sliding deeper into the water and making small waves spill out of the tub. “Fuck, that hits the spot.”
When there was no response, he opened his eyes and looked at his partner. He found an expression that was possibly the most baffling he had encountered yet; a strange smile, narrowed eyes, but arched eyebrows... All very subtly framed by Souji’s arms crossed across his chest.
“What?”
“Nothing. Can you move a little so I have some space?”
“Oh, yeah, sure. Sorry about that. Kind of got a little too into it, I guess. Heheh.”
He sat up. Edged forward, touching his toes. Felt the ripples in the steaming, still water as Souji eased himself into the water behind him. A few moments, until he could feel the soles of a pair of feet pressing onto his lower back.
“Sorry. There’s no room.”
“Oh, I’m all warmed up now, so I could get out now and leave you to your bath if you-”
“No, please stay, Yosuke.”
A chill ran down his spine, even in the pleasantly steamy water, as he heard him say his name.
“U-uh. Yeah, sure. If that’s what you... want?”
Souji didn’t reply. Yosuke wanted desperately to turn around, to get whatever limited reading he could of that stony face and read the situation but he was frozen. Then he felt cold, slippery hands press onto his shoulder blades. They slid down, joining together at his spine, then with gentle pressure, eased out in circles downwards, slowly approaching then finally cupping (and squeezing, just a tiny bit, or Yosuke could be imagining it) his ass. It was seven seconds in heaven, all right- contrasting the heat of the water and all in all a killer massage... he thought he just might melt into his partner’s hands.
“H-hey...”
“You’re welcome. I got soap on all the hard to reach areas, so you should be fine.”
“...You are good with your hands, you know that? That was so awesome.”
Souji chuckled quietly in response. “Want me to do the rest?”
“Hell ye- Wait, what?”
But it was too late. Those amazing hands had already begun to press on each hipbone, where his thigh connected to his torso, and they slid upwards, following the shape of his waist, circling a little bit as they reached his armpits and instinctively he raised his arms, the rest of his body lax.
He had let his guard down.
With no warning, the magic hands had slid forward and around to rest on his flat pecs, and after one cursory grope, index finger and thumb swiftly wrapped around each nipple and squeezed.
Yosuke gasped, shoulders tensing up. “Souji-”
He felt the person that belonged to those hands draw nearer to him, until he felt cool breath on his ear, and he heard a husky whisper-
“Do you like it?”
“F-fuck me, damn, you’re-”
Souji alternated, between firm massaging and a sneaky pinch and each time he switched he relished the girlish moan Yosuke let out. He didn’t get to have what he wanted very often seeing as he simply obliged everyone else, all the time, and he had wanted this for so, so very long...
He was beginning to crumble himself, his own breathing becoming heavy, raspy as his half mast rose to full- not that Yosuke noticed, being lost in his own world. Souji leaned in- not enough for his twitching cock to make any contact with his partner’s skin, so he wouldn’t know, he wouldn’t know how much he was enjoying this, how much he wanted it- resting his chin on Yosuke’s shoulder and sighed deeply, content.
He wanted the moment to last forever; him making Yosuke feel good, and by proxy make himself happy without Yosuke ever having to feel any kind of weird guilt or get defensive, or anything, because he wouldn’t ever know- couldn’t ever know, that he felt this way. It was better this way, Souji Seta didn’t really show feelings towards anyone anyway. A dynamic he was familiar with upholding.
The path that Souji’s hands had been continually carving (sans the detour he made each time he squeezed Yosuke’s tender nubs) had previously only been limited from his armpits to just above where the crack of his ass started, too scared to venture any further lest this magical moment end. But he wanted to expand his territory, he had sampled too much and it was too little too late to stop him from needing more, so he stopped resisting his impulses and let those hands so innocently slither around those delicious hipbones and onto those pale thighs, kneading back and forth and closing in on the target ero-zone. He dared to touch the inside of those thighs, drew his hands back and finally, after his persistent patience, closed his hands around Yosuke’s...
Ah, it’s already halfway there. Instinctively, as he had done so many times with his own, he began to work his way into getting it fully hard.
Wait, it’s already halfway there?!
Souji’s blissful, half closed eyes shot open and instinctively with the shock of the realization, as did his hands close more tightly around what they happened to be loosely caressing- Yosuke’s cock.
Yosuke squealed. Souji felt something from deep within him jolt, and he felt his hips thrust forward involuntarily. In the tub full of water, the knee jerk reaction had splashed some water onto the floor, but he was thankful there was water to mask what he was desperately hoping was only precum leaking like a tap out his own dick. Yosuke moaned, “Partner--!” Another electric jolt, another thrust, he felt his hair stand on end and the hand cupping Yosuke’s balls shook as it continued to fondle gently. Yosuke whispered, “Souji...” and Souji lurched forward at the sound of his name, trembling, on the precipice of disaster, and replied, voice impassioned-
“I love you--”
And Yosuke melted into his partner’s embrace, like a puddle of jelly. A puddle of ejaculating, moaning, very red jelly. At the sensation of him just collapsing into his arms and the full weight of his body leaning intimately back into him like he had imagined so many times, he felt himself tip just over the edge too, and despite himself- despite the self control he had honed over so many years, over his whole life, to protect himself and his emotions- he choked a bit, and found himself unable to stop a quiet moan of his own.
There was a moment without dialogue between them, but it wasn’t one of silence, filled with their heavy breathing and pants. Yosuke was still completely embraced, one of Souji’s arms still wrapped tenderly around his waist and the other hand still wrapped around--
His eyes widened as he realized what had happened. The bath water surrounding his crotch area was now a bit murky white. He felt his face somehow set on fire, as if it wasn’t already red hot before, then whipped his head around to look at-
“Souji, what just-”
Souji. His partner. His eyes were closed, as if he were in a deep sleep, completely at peace. A far cry from the steely eyed, stone faced guy Yosuke had grown so used to without realizing it. His face, too, was flush- a sight the teen had never actually seen before. He found his words slipping away as something stirred in his chest, in his heart. His heart- it was racing, and he suddenly noticed his hands were balled into tight fists, shivering a little from how hard he clenched them.
He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to think- hell, he was having a hard time doing any thinking, really, when the only thing running through his mind were what Souji had said seconds ago on loop.
Ah, so that’s love. That’s what that feels like.
The thought cut cleanly through his panicked, muddled thoughts, interrupting the loop at last. He felt it all melt away, just as he had moments ago when he came- (he actually came into Souji’s hand, what the fuuuuuckkkkk) and he knew what to do.
He snuggled up to his partner- the person he loved- and kissed him gently on the lips. No tongue, nothing, just soft lips on lips, and even with his eyes closed he felt Souji smile and heard him sigh in happiness.
it was hosted on livejournal at maiyuu.livejournal.com/487.html but it’s all deleted now, even the entire account. all i remember is it made me cry a LOT and it was really amazing. i think it was about yosuke getting bullied really hard for how he looked and a nude he took got leaked but souji helped him a lot and they were happy together? i think. please please please, i really want to read it again, if anyone knows what i’m talking about and has some archive or something of it please tell me, it was really damn good
Lol can anon fucking chill? If ur gonna criticize u don't need to be a dick. Anyway, your cosplay are far from shitty, but learning the tricks of the trade with make up is never bad, I mean you are looking to be an entirely different person after all.
thanks anon!!! absolutely agree i’ve been slowly working on learning makeup and stuff esp for cosplay so i think it’s been gettin better but oh wells, i still haven’t gotten as far as tryin something like contouring, i’ve only been trying to do cosplays that kinda match my face in the last year like lotte from LWA heh but hopefully i can keep improving
Coward, they couldn't even do it off Anon. Honestly fuck hostile anons, they say this shit because they know they can't get called out for being retarded.
kartoshinki
Lmao literally what the hell is anons problem, your cosplays are really fun and your nose is? Actually really nice, what's their problem jesus, please Don't take their bullshit to heart! <3
your cosplays are really gross lol have you even tried contouring your nose? it looks like you got smashed in the face with a frying pan desu
i mean i’ll grant you that i haven’t (to this day, still haven’t) tried contouring my nose or contouring at all, i’m very new to makeup in general, leave alone specialized stuff for cosplay. heck i only started applying makeup to cosplay a year ago (meaning none of the cosplay stuff on my tumblr has any makeup) so thanks for tips i guess
he deserves way more than some stupid drawing and i feel like i can't top the gif i did last year unless i do another animation but better (NEXT YEAR... perhaps..)
but i was so c aught up in classes and uni and garbage (registration date on my son's bday. rip) and drowning in the sinkhole that is jojo i can't believe i almost forgot ;_;
summer is here so i guess i’m formally opening commissions! here’s a looong overdue commission info sheet, although i doubt many people will see this.... hahaha
