cute grandma grunge

byron ★ they/them

[trashculinity]

tiny bio: * byron * genderweird * late 20s 30s * parent

i haven't been all that active here since maybe 5 years ago. reach out to me if we've ever talked and you want any of my other social media :)

[hbmmaster]

did you know? some primates have been observed to exhibit "blogging" behavior

[hbmmaster]

who tagged this with "unreality". this is just a fact. a primate wrote this post

[dragonsblowingoutbirthdaycandles]

your life is not an optimization problem

[dragonsblowingoutbirthdaycandles]

as in you'll never achieve the perfect daily routine, sleep schedule, coping mechanisms, mannerisms, fashion sense etc. even after years and years of healing and improvement and self-discovery. you will never be so good at life that you manage to utilize every waking moment. its great to be productive and all but sometimes you'll suck ass. sometimes you'll take eight hours to be done with a twenty minute job. you'll prioritize the wrong thing. you'll sleep for 12 hrs just to avoid being awake. you'll relapse. and you'll relapse again. you'll forget to turn in the assignment. you'll order too little food. life is far too large and complex for you to even experience it completely, much less try to make sense of and control it. you can't. please give up on that and be at peace with the hours you lose. they are not separate from your life.

[possumcollege]

[sadclowncentral]

seething about the fact that i will never experience photosynthesis in my own useless cells. i bet it feels so good when the light of the sun both warms you and fuels you at the same time. a bone-deep satisfaction mixed with a heated sugar-rush and endless brightness. not that i would fucking know

[storybookprincess]

one of my favorite phrases to pepper into conversation is “i like the way you think! you’re hired!” particularly in contexts where it makes absolutely no sense

barista at the coffee shop recommends a good drink. nurse at the doctors office finds a clever solution to something. my actual boss when she makes a suggestion.

it always hits. hilarious every time

[xalatath]

SMOKED SALMON IS THE ONLY THING THAT NUMBS THE PAIN

[maniatown]

Girl whose most frequent mistake is inaction voice: wow I keep making mistakes I better not do anything

[civvic]

Fuck. Those fuckers at the store sold me No Purpose Flour again. What the fuck do I do with this

[civvic]

you laugh. my flour is bereft of purpose and you mock me. hell upon you, fool

[hungwy]

making a mountain out of a molehill and dying on it

[phantomrose96]

Office comedy where the pilot episode newbie is being walked around to meet all their colleagues and they get introduced to the pair of coworkers who are snappy, electric, flirty, filling each other's coffee orders, finishing each other's sentences, desk leaning, bedroom eyes, feet kicking

And when the newbie asks someone "Are those two uh, you know?" the seasoned coworker goes "Aha yeah. Divorced 🙂"

[phantomrose96]

And this isn't a broken-up couple on the rebound. They've absolutely always been like this with each other save for the 11 months they were married, during which time every single day was a murder-suicide risk.

[phantomrose96]

Two people who are each other's absolute everything unless you try to make them share a kitchen and a budgeting system

[mephistopheles]

yall i swear to god if a bitch says her pronouns are she/her then her pronouns are she/her

[mephistopheles]

my close friend from uni was a cis girl who had the audacity to wear pants and cut her hair short and like nobody at this school, a place OBSESSED with ‘respecting everyone’s gender identities,’ would call her ‘she.’ after MONTHS of this she started wearing a fucking pronoun pin to work and i dont even think that fixed it. me, im sorta androgynous; i have shaggy self-cut hair and go by a neutral name, but i always say my pronouns are she/her, and people ive worked with for months and have introduced myself in front of fifty times will STILL reflexively say ‘they’ for me. i respect the progressive circles i run in, but this IS evidence of misogyny. people’s definition of “woman” or “girl” is so narrow and high-maintenance that even the tiniest deviation from the norm gets you forcibly defeminized. but it’s a compliment, right? like who would wanna be a girl anyway?

[mephistopheles]

replacing an inescapable gender binary with an equally-inescapable gender trinary is stupid 🩷

[philcollinsenjoyer]

imitation crab is in the running with electricity for greatest human inventions

[autistobrat]

scientists are experimenting on cross-breeding a crab and a cheetah; things could go sideways real fast

[pmamtraveller]

"Cats on a Plane" by artist Kelly Pringle.

[vastwinterskies]

how am I supposed to go to the supermarket without cavalry support

[aboutoriginality]