how can I stop living in the past?

19, traumatised😗✌️(feel free to reblog)

[traumatisedstudent]

ONLINE BOOKS ON TRAUMA:

basically i’ve added too many books, to list. there’s around 18 books to read about trauma, narcissism’s, abuse etc. (i’ll add some recommendations later)

Here’s the whole folder if you want to check it out:

[COMPLETEe FOLDER PDFs]

side note: don’t ever feel obligated to read every single one and take your time in reading these - these books are quite hard hitting so take care!

[soundtestmenu]

susie was gay as fuck telling kris all that shit in the quiet dark of a place of worship. if you played piano at church every week i'd go in worship of you. watching you put your soul into it like that made me reconsider my entire relationship to music. it stuck in my mind so much that when i pierced the earth and made it bleed the dream that formed awakened an entire separate side of the darkness where music was the world.

[saltair-and-webweaves]

and bless the daughter but fuck the family

it lingers for your whole life - katie maria/the sun is also a star - nicola yoon/the lost girls: a poetry collection on girlhood, grief, and growing up - lyra wren/crush - richard siken/unknown/on earth we're briefly gorgeous - ocean vuong/ @emmajadepaige/stick season - noah kahan/promises of gold - josé olivarez/matilda - harry styles/susan smith - wych elm/tangerine - nolune/#6 - aroara/right now - gracie abrams/love & a loaded gun - emily rose cole/someday I'll love - ocean vuong/ @parentless-suggestions/unknown/the burning - venetta octavia/you can love him but you can't keep him - @pencap/a poem from the adult daughter to the narcissistic mother: not your fault, not mine, just is - katherine fabrizio/courtney love prays to oregon - clementine von radics

[haqqahreminders]

سيأتي على قلبك فترة أثقل مِن الجبال، ليس لتكتئب، بل لتَسجُد وتقترب.

‎A time will come upon your heart that is heavier than mountains, not to make you depressed, but to make you prostrate and draw nearer.

[traumatisedstudent]

guess who just got hit?

about time lads, we have a new record of one and half year since it last happened.

i kid you not i literally went from shock, to complete calm to fucking hyperventilating and tears and just a general *breakdown* in like 30 minutes.

[traumatisedstudent]

guess who got hit again🤪😚✌🏽

[traumatisedstudent]

and another again. i hâte this, someone save me.

[traumatisedstudent]

230 days is a whole ass record. congrats mum u finally slapped me and pulled my hair

[traumatisedstudent]

i made this post years ago.

once more at 21, thinking she was more stable than ever. that i didn’t need this blog, things were better.

the worse thing is i had a choice to leave - an opportunity i turned down to accept to chose to live with my family for the last time. thinking things were better now,

i was wrong.

i should have chosen myself and no one else.

now i have been slapped in the face literally.

after what was a long while, i am just disappointed and sad.

[tlirsgender]

Having parents who aren't as bad as they used to be is crazy cause they'll be sitting there doing some normal shit and you're like kubrick staring at them

[mangopit]

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Nitya Prakash

[trappedinourheads]

Often father and daughter look down on mother (woman) together. They exchange meaningful glances when she misses a point. They agree that she is not bright as they are, cannot reason as they do. This collusion does not save the daughter from the mother’s fate.

-Bonnie Burstow

[salsabeeel]

Ghosts of past

A friend taught me that watches are worn on our non dominant hands.My grandma taught me the basics of “how to sew to save your life”. My father told me once that the moon follows us to look after us while we were driving. And I’ve been looking at it with the same awe ever since .Although I am not 6 anymore . Summer noon clouds taught me to expand my horizon of imagination. I learnt the time of sunset in winters from the way the rays fall on the last shelf of books.People who I held close taught me the peace in letting go. I learnt from strangers that comfort isn’t always in familiarity . And despite of my flimsy memory , every event remains raw and vivid.That’s a blessing I think . To have the remnants of past visit you in various shapes and forms. Being a source of warmth and hope. And not letting you forget how once everything you know now was a gift of someone’s memory.

[stuckinapril]

i love it when you start doing little things different & notice how much you’ve grown as a person just by that. like you from a year ago would not have handled that situation the way you are now. you’ve changed for the better. & that is so satisfying

[theletterboxstuff]

The middle child urge to be noticed for once, to not be compared to their elder sibling, to not be forced to a shadow to their elder sibling, to not be bitter and full of rage towards people you love, to be accepted as you are, to not downplay your needs and wants just cause you think they're unimportant, to be pampered like your younger sibling, to not have hateful feelings towards your siblings even though you love them the most, to not be a burden for once, to actually be valued and listened to

[singinprincess]

“You idolized me as a God, and took away my right to be a human.”

[infinitesoul29]

Kanchan's love for Pallavi.❤️

The hurt in her eyes as she confronts her after 30yrs. Of how she is always attentive & protective of her. And to finally have Pallavi admit that even in the next life she doesn't need to be a man to be with her. Just Kanchan. Only Kanchan.

[girl-in-the-thunderbolt-suit]

Baby reindeer was brutal, triggering, uncomfortable, honest and beautiful. One of the best portrayals of someone with sexual trauma I've ever seen on TV.

[angelamcss]

Mr. Robot (2015–2019) | Leave the World Behind (2023) dir. Sam Esmail

[wolfythewitch]

i have so much rage in me one day i think i will explode. i dont think i know how to forgive as much as i know how to forget

[honeypleasejustkillme]

who else mourning the person they could've been if they were treated kindly as a child

[i-was-abused]

Even better: processing, decades later, the chronic disappointment other people have felt about you because you couldn't be the kind of person they needed or expected. It's also the double whammy of feeling both disappointed in yourself for disappointing others, while also trying to figure out you were supposed to function while battling violence, poverty, abuse and despair.