||: Tweet tweet motherfucker. :||

Birb/33/nb/open for any rp please please please

[bimstown]

[valtsv]

me, wearing nothing but a sheer plunge-neck ballgown that’s plastered to my skin from the rain, soaking wet and trembling with cold and fatigue as i stand outside the entrance to the castle: p-please help me ;) i’m s-so lost and s-scared ;) ;) i have no where to stay for the night ;) ;) ;)

the sexy vampire lady who answered the door, and to whom the castle belongs: of course ;) you poor thing ;) ;) come inside, you must be freezing… you may stay as long as you need to recover from your ordeal ;) ;) ;)

[whiteroserwby]

You walked up to that house in the rain on purpose

[valtsv]

[vstheworld]

the fuck else would I be sloshing around in a wet ballgown for

[nardacci-does-art]

I drew it…. & animated it…

[bi-files]

I’m a patron of the arts (I leave nice comments on aO3).

[byler-alarmist]

I'm a patron of the arts (I reblog on Tumblr dot com)

[konoko]

[skodasforge]

“It’s photoshopped” honestly in the age of AI that has a homey sort of nostalgia to it. Remember when people used to put effort into faking things?

[lillithdv8]

oh gurl, you don't know the half of it. I remember 90s tabloid with headline my new neighbour is from Chernobyl and her baby has a tail! It was a poorly assembled collage of a baby's body with an ape's face and a lemur's tail all xeroxed into -100 contrast, people put effort of cutting clippings (granted with a rusty pair of scissors) but it counts

[skodasforge]

You think I don’t know about Weekly World News

This is the kind of fake slop I actually miss.

[teaboot]

I'm going to start a game show where I play songs the contestants have never heard before in a huge room with bad acoustics and they have to guess what the lyrics are

[teaboot]

Mall Cafeteria: Yoonotugudubegowin Hobububuduhabusah / Gubudubudubugee Guddubagudduhgoin / Im done hidinow I'm shinin like a bubaubee / Peecesobidah ! / I'm so bryduh / ba du wannuh / reeEEEEEEEEEEE

Me, sobbing: please just tell me what you want

[teaboot]

Intercom: Sonubuhuguduhbawheeeeenin Sonny gonnabe beezin / tonight [...] Pubugusweenin,,, tonight [...] Never felt this way before withaynyone / Baby /Guzzabunawuningadada fEEwan / tunnite

Me: ...Harry Styles?

Intetcom: TUNNITE

[teaboot]

Intercom: AYEboduh,BRYgoduh,WHYdumunuhRAYbee GUYbroduh,DIEbroguh,,FIEfuguhPAYbee AYEbpridufunubuhaguhduhRAYFWEEEEEEEEEE

Me: Ariana baby I know that's you in there. Give me your hand. I can get you out

[teaboot]

The kind of posts you make when you regularly forget you have Autism and ADHD and Auditory Processing Disorder and Photophobia and Aura Migraines and and and and and

[teaboot]

Late for an appointment this morning because my beautiful son child stole a wrapped and bagged bologna sandwich containing roughly 300% his maximum safe sodium intake out of the lunch box in my backpack while I was on the shitter and refused to spit it out

[teaboot]

⬆️ Documented evidence of my sweet and perfect and beautiful firstborn son furiously defending his hard-won right to shit his brains out

[blurds]

this is the funniest thing I’ve seen in weeks

[luxshine]

The “Thunk” will always kill me.

[falconratesbirds]

14/10 doing his best

[littleguysdaily]

[captain-price-returns]

I don't know if full on execution is proper justice, but at least they did something.

[agoodjake54-deactivated20150429]

[ruinedchildhood]

Jinkies

[jesterday00]

Jeepers!

[dollfacemcghost]

Zoinks!

[galvaniccorsair]

Ruh roh!

[paperandpencilsandskips]

FUCK

[pirateprincessjess]

My favorite part of this post is that it implies Fred is the one saying “FUCK” because we know who typically says the other 4 things

[notaplaceofhonour]

which makes sense as he’s the one who actually legally owns it

[mugene-art]

BLORBO JAIL BLORBO JAIL

i saw the vograce pvc pouches and i just HAD to make the dream come true. my best use of free will all year.

available in my shop now!!!

(sticker in the first pic is from luriasketchbruck on etsy)

[mosfetransgender-deactivated202]

NEVER LET YOURSELF BE STOPPED BY WHAT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE IF YOU STARTED EARLIER!!!!! THE ONLY TIME WE HAVE IS NOW

[effinbirds]

[deaddovearchives]

I think a fandom becomes more interesting when people are allowed to explore uncomfortable ideas instead of pretending they don't exist

[its-2am-bois]

she is no longer allowed in the 7-11

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[captain-price-returns]