im a bisexual with a bad knee bet most of you are too

Kaledo Art
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
One Nice Bug Per Day
Cosmic Funnies
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
noise dept.
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tumblr dot com

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JBB: An Artblog!

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blake kathryn
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we're not kids anymore.

titsay

⁂
taylor price
dirt enthusiast
i don't do bad sauce passes
AnasAbdin
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@treskift
im a bisexual with a bad knee bet most of you are too
May comic! Happy mental health awareness month. 🐝 Comic brought to you by my constant worry that I don’t exist if I have nothing to show for myself.
Advice to my past self: Read about burnout. Stretch. Stand up. Get lunch. Ask for extensions. Get help. Sleep. Take time off if you need to, don’t ask. Take care of yourself.
the human body is an engineering marvel. I sneeze in bright light. if I dont get enough sunlight on my skin I get tired and sad and have to drink a lot of milk to fix it. standing too much hurts, but sitting too much also hurts. if I get a virus, my body will increase its temperature in an attempt to cook it, which also cooks my brain cells. toenails exist. I have to turn the radio down to see better when I drive. there are 17 genes dictating what my hair texture is, but it completely changes when the air is too humid. yawning is contagious. there are more species of bacteria living in my body than there are species of birds in the entire world. every few months I grievously injure my neck by "sleeping on it weird." it took seven million years of human evolution to form me, and now I'm afraid of phone calls.
everyone who submits a ballad to the eurovision should be sprayed with a water bottle like an unruly cat i'm not kidding. where is the HOMOSEXUALITY where is the FLAVOUR
i love figures in folklore who are morally ambiguous like. their wikipedia page will say like 'they will help lost travellers find their way back to the path also they are sometimes known to drown people and eat their bones.' ok!!!
me, appreciating all the hard work that goes into creating video game environments:
📷 from notghxst
You have been sentenced to death in a magical court. The court allows all prisoners to pick how they die and they will carry it out immediately. You have it all figured out until the prisoner before you picks old age and is instantly transformed into a dying old man. Your turn approaches.
I think I’d have minded less if I’d committed a truly heinous crime. Something that warranted death. Or even if I was the kind of person who would enjoy flinging a last defiance at my execution.
It was all just a show, anyway. They did it every year. They brought out a selection of criminals, and the Sorcerer who ruled us showed his power by bringing about their deaths by magic. Just to show, every year, what happened to anyone who crossed him.
There was a time, probably, when the people he executed really were rebels or assassins. In latter days he had to take what the dungeons offered. I was dragged up in chains between a pickpocket, sobbing in terror, and a man who’d killed another man in a brawl. There were few criminals of any note, by then. So instead of choosing the wickedest criminals, they chose based on appearance. The man who’d been in the brawl had a face like a clenched fist, and looked like a ruffian. The pickpocket, aging and with hands beginning to tremble, was a different kind of example. As was I.
“There aren’t many pretty ones, this year,” the man who chose me had said, examining me. “But this one will do. Not young, but not old, a woman, well-favoured enough for the gallows… what was her crime?”
The warder shrugged. “She tried to kill one of the sheriffs.”
The man looked down at me and I shrugged. “I hit him with a washing stick, because he tried to extort money from me, and he was a baby about it.” I refused to treat this as anything but pathetic, even after my sentencing. “I didn’t even break any bones.”
“Treason, then,” the man said, nodding. “Attacking the servants of the law. That will look well on the list. Send her.”
I had been debating ever since what to choose. Something quick? Something painless? I considered demanding that I suffer the attack I supposedly made on the sheriff, but then I realized the Sorcerer would only give me what the man had said I was going to do, and that was not a pleasant way to die. I had all but decided on something swift and relatively painless. Beheading with the sharpest of blades sounded good. It would be quick.
Keep reading
uterus: Guurl, you're ❌NOT❌ pregnant🎉💃
me hunched over in agony: This... could have been... an email
i love listening to my fiancée drawing
“no stop” “oh no i didn’t mean to do that” “wRONG LAYER” “wait go back” “what line is that?!” “cAN YOU– [irritated noises]” “oh you…bastard” “what..layer is that on??”
she’s so cute djksfh
A gift for your fiancee
oh my god dkfjdhgksdjk
expectation: i leave these browser tabs open, and they serve as a reminder to do the activities on those sites
reality: i become very good at ignoring browser tabs
I love this so much, I’m gonna start saying “nuts” we need to bring it back
i think about this zebra on a daily basis
author: sorry I’m jumping on this bandwagon and writing a fic with the same premise as all these other fics
me, has read 500 fics like this one and is prepared to read 500 more: please never apologize for giving the people (me) what they (also me) want
WELL I WOULD READ FIVE HUNDRED FICS
AND I WOULD READ FIVE HUNDRED MORE
JUST TO READ ONE THOUSAND FICS WITH THE SAME
PREMISE AS THE ONES BEFORE
DADA DADA (DADA DADA)
DADA DADA (DADA DADA)
DADADUNdedeledeDUNdedeledeDUN
When I’m reading, well, you know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the one who’s reading your AU.
And when I’m finished, well, you know I’m gonna find
I’m gonna find another fic like that one too.
If you write soulmates, well, you know I’m gonna read
I’m gonna read that soulmate fic, that’s what I’ll do.
Then I’ll go back, I’ll go back to AO3
And I will search for soulmate fic the whole night through.