Triangle-Toothed Lockpick

Esme/Tri, 30s, UK, She/They ~ Header and Avatar by Russell General blog for things I like! Personal posts are tagged 'The Keeper Scriptures' Progesterone has made me prone to posting moderate NSFW but I keep the worst stuff contained.

[triangletoothedlockpick]

Hi there!

Finally making a pinned post after over a decade on this hellsite.

I'm Esme, or Triangle/Tri if you prefer (I quite like being called that). Trans femme non-binary woman based in the UK. Primarily use She/Her pronouns.

This is my main blog for reblogging shit I like and occasionally making my own posts. Personal posts are tagged 'The Keeper Scriptures'.

I am utterly obsessed with Thief, Morrowind, and Tabletop RPGs but my interests are broad and I don't tag consistently at all.

Open to messages, not always great at replying. Don't be a dick or I'll block you.

Since taking progesterone I have also developed a healthy interest in kink and NSFW stuff. I segregate the worst of it elsewhere but am unapologetic for the moderate amount of horny posting. Anything beyond a certain threshold will be tagged.

[foone]

Oat milk is made by milking goats and then putting the milk through a fine filter to extract all the "G"s

[monsterpotion]

I heard thats where they get the "G"s for cell phone service

[sevensixone]

[anti-parent]

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

[anti-parent]

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[homunculus-argument]

You ever think about how often you hear someone say "there's no such thing as natural talent! Anyone can be taught" and you want to believe that they mean "with the right method and accommodations, anyone can be taught this", but time and time again you learn that they meant "I don't believe in learning disabilities or accommodations, anyone whom I can't teach simply doesn't want to learn."

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

One of my favorite thing I’ve learned about animals studies is that you should avoid using colorful leg bands when you’re banding birds because you can accidentally completely skew the data because female birds prefer males with colorful bands

Apparently if you put a red band on a male red wing blackbird his harem size can double

So like you can completely frick up the natural reproduction of a group of birds by giving a guy a bracelet so stylish that females CANNOT resist him

[volcanokids]

Me, putting a red bracelet on the leg of a male red wing blackbird: ON GOD we gonna get u some pussy bro

[jordisstigander]

I remember reading a study where researchers realized that female birds of a certain species preferred males with a darker breast. So they created what they literally called a “Super-Sexy Male” by catching a male and coloring his chest with a marker. They then ran dna tests on the eggs in the area.

Previously when the researchers had run these tests, they found a certain amount of infidelity was common for these birds. Somewhere around 10% of eggs were fathered by males who were not the primary mates of females.

After the advent of the Super Sexy Male, however, stuff got crazy in bird world. Infidelity skyrocketed, with upwards of 25% of ALL EGGS in the area being fathered by this specific male. Furthermore, his mate’s eggs were 100% his.

This is just insane to me. Just imagine you’re living your bird life when suddenly somebody scribbles on Dave’s chest and the ladies can’t stop throwing themselves at them. It’s stupid that we theoretically can wreck this kind of havoc on an ecosystem.

[moral-autism]

This is increasing my belief that we live in an era of unparalleled male bowerbird sexiness, not going to lie.

[tanadrin]

*me, eyeing the alien xenologists observing humanity in orbit* gosh, i hope no alien scientist decides to randomly turn me into a big tittied goth chick–

[8syntheticanimal8]

[tallsuperstar]

Breaking my several year harry potter silence just to say that in the Apollo Justice Trilogy, they removed the harry potter reference they originally had in the game. Which means that if you still consume hp content and talk about it, you are doing worse than fucking capcom

[tallsuperstar]

@endigolikesarson In the original, for the running joke regarding Valant and doors, Apollo calls Valant a muggle

While in the remaster, he says this which is way funnier even without the baggage

[tallsuperstar]

Everyone reblogging this post saying stuff like "they probably changed it because of copyright/dated reference" NEEDS to know that 1. There are multiple references to Doctor Who and Star Trek and a character probably named after someone from Battlestar Galactica of all things and 2. The lead writer for the localization stuff with Ace Attorney uses they/them pronouns.

[mollymux]

Seems to be bunny in the trough Thursday

[fishing-princess]

For thousands of years humanity has selectively bred chickens to have larger breasts and to have to lay eggs constantly. We did it to get more meat and per chicken, but from the perspective of the domesticated chickens they’re sorta living in a very specific fetish scenario

[bluering8]

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

[smokingchagga]

This is actually what I was adviced to do at the work rehabilitation program I went to. Hasn't left my mind since. 10/10 solid advice

[cassettecolonthree]

people have lots of pet peeves with guys being/being called grunglers. i dont care abt any of that. my annoyance is that in the original tweet the guy himself was not the grungler, the messed up dark souls character he made while on call with strange transsexuals was the grungler. ur all misusing the term

[bruisedskin-chippednails]

grungler's monster

[cassettecolonthree]

[chongoblog]

Visit Original Link

A lot of people these days know Rick Astley because of funny internet joke, but he had multiple hits back in the 80s which were pretty nice! Like this one :3

[chongoblog]

[predstrogen]

i have hired this fucking thing to stare at you

[maythray]

im rehiring this fucking thing to stare at you

[onmywayoutokay-deactivated20240]

[i-am-the-oyster]

[dachkna]

[faggotfungus]

H.R. Giger “The Watch Guardian” (1993)

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

H.R. Giger "Gimp Sauron" (1993)

[wayneradiotv]

Erarg creates world’s first Happypasta