Andulka
art blog(derogatory)
styofa doing anything
JBB: An Artblog!
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
$LAYYYTER
Xuebing Du
shark vs the universe
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
d e v o n
⁂
pixel skylines
Product Placement
Kiana Khansmith
trying on a metaphor
DEAR READER
🪼
blake kathryn
oozey mess
NASA
seen from Mexico
seen from Vietnam
seen from Netherlands
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Canada
seen from Israel
seen from Canada
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Germany
seen from Mexico
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from South Korea
seen from Malaysia
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from United States
@tumblinglringlring
Every time my dad says "it won't hurt to smile" I end up vibrating so hard with willpower to not bite his head off.
Don’t know if you’ve seen that tictok but someone said that when men ask you to smile to smile with all your teeth 🦷
Lucius and Black Pete being adorable
i feel like tumblr would expose super heroes secret identities real fast with all its crazy ass jokes
There’s so much wrong here
“sorry for being a gentlemen” i cannot fucking believe
UPDATE: Im screaming even louder
#if my therapist had one of these bad boys in his office he could unlock a spectrum of mental disorders only perceptible to shrimp
#that and the glass outdoor table
Cursed school presentations? Thank you!
I hate presentations 😂but who doesn’t?
That shrek one is threatening
How’d y'all leave out this one?
Brothers in arms
We go forward.
This is too deep to comprehend.
Stop it
I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO BE FUNNY
:(((((
I would marry this man
guys we broke another post because this one’s not showing any notes
When I liked it, it flashed “0 notes”
Call that NOtes
forgive me for today i have another half naked thorin. stripping.
I don’t think there’s anything to forgive here 👀
@fizzyxcustard @lathalea @anjhope1 @xxbyimm
Thank you very much @temporoyales for sharing this very educational piece of art with us! 🤭💙👀💙👀💙👀
@gwen-ever @thewarriorandtheking @sherala007 @doll-yuinya
There can never be enough half-naked Thorin, imo 🔥🔥🔥
It’s her. Early campaign Yasha.
These days, my older brother Jake is a calm, competent professional. He’s skilled at his job, and so laid-back and reserved that it actually used to intimidate his students when he TA’d classes. That’s now. Back when he was a little kid, he was scared of everything.
Bugs. Balloons. The vacuum cleaner. Basically any loud noise. The dark. Dogs. The basement.
As I child, I feared neither god nor death, and so it was my job to protect my big brother from all the minutiae of life that he found terrifying.
Being afraid of the basement was a real problem, because his bedroom was in the basement. I used to have to go downstairs every night and turn on all the lights before he would come downstairs. Once I’d done that he was fine.
At least he was fine up until he thought it would be fun to spend an afternoon building a spooky fort in his walk-in closet and tell scary stories in it. The four of us huddled in the dark closet-fort with a flashlight and Jake cooked up the scariest story he could: that our house was actually built on top of an old burial ground, and there were horrible undead monsters under the floors, trying to claw their way up. This was a very scary story indeed, and my younger brother and sister were terrified. I was old enough to remember when the house had been built, however, and therefore knew for a fact that the story was untrue.
Jake, despite also having been there when the house was built, and having made up the story himself, was terrified.
He spent the next week insisting that I not only turn on all the lights for him before bed, but also check all the closets and make sure that there were no sounds coming from the floor under his bed. Which I did, dutifully, every night.
And then came the day that he punched me in the face and broke the lens out of my glasses.
Now, we roughoused a lot. Scraped knees and elbows were absolutely the norm, and mostly that was fine. But an outright punch to the face? Heinous. Unforgivable. Deserving of the direst revenge my seven-year-old brain could concoct.
“Mom and Dad are gonna kill you when they find out you broke my glasses,” I told him, and quietly slid my foot over the fallen lens where it rested in the front lawn. “You better find that lens or you’re gonna be in trouble until you die.”
Jake, who already knew that he’d crossed a line, went pale and immediately began scrabbling through the grass for the lost lens. I waited long enough for him to turn away before lifted my foot, pocketed the lens, and went inside to sit on the couch and watch him freak out.
He spent a good hour looking for the lens before he went inside and realized I’d already fixed my glasses.
I had spent that hour in my most natural state: scheming.
So when night fell, I did my usual basement sweep. I turned on all the lights, loudly opened and closed the closet doors, and then returned upstairs to give Jake the all-clear. “It’s fine,” I told him, “Only….”
“WHAT,” Jake demanded, thoroughly terrified of monsters entirely of his own making, and not at all afraid of the only thing in the house worth fearing, which was, of course, me. (Our ancient and malevolent demoncat, Kitten Little, was also worth fearing, but that is a story for another time.) At age seven, I had never heard of the concept of ‘excessive force.’ I had also never heard of the concept of ‘psychological warfare,’ but that was hardly going to stop me from using it. Jake demanded, “What was down there?? What did you see?”
“Oh, nothing. But maybe…I thought I saw eyes? Glowing eyes? Under your bed.”
“GLOWING EYES UNDER MY BED??”
“Probably it was just Kitten Little. Goodnight!”
I bounced upstairs to my room in the attic of the house. The ceiling was plastered with glowy stars, and I flopped down in my bunkbed and watched them idly while I waited for the rest of the house to settle down to sleep. One by one, lights turned off across the house, and soon the only noise was the creaking of the old oak tree outside my window.
I reached up and removed one of the jumbo-sized stars from my ceiling. There was a wad of sticky tack on the back. Quietly, I slipped into the bathroom, turned on the lights, and carefully drew two eye-shapes on the star, as large as would fit. Using the pair of scissors I’d stashed in a drawer earlier, I cut the shapes out of the heavy plastic star. Then I used the sticky tack to attach one to each of the lenses of my freshly-repaired glasses.
And then I snuck down to the basement, and army-crawled under Jake’s bed.
Now, I’d been patient. It was well after midnight; everyone else was deeply asleep. That was about to change.
I set my nails against the underside of Jake’s bed and dragged them loudly. I pushed up with my legs just enough to shift the bed a little. I could hear him starting to wake up, so quietly, using a deep, grating growl I’d spent all afternoon practicing, (and which, later in life, would scare our class bully so badly he fell backwards out of a hay wagon) I moaned, “JAAAAAAAAAAAKE.”
Slowly, visibly terrified, Jake lowered his head over the edge of the of the bed.
I whipped my head sideways and shoved my legs against the wall as hard as I could, launching my glowing-eyed face towards him like a snake.
Jake shrieked.
Something thumped overhead as everyone in the bedrooms upstairs woke up all at once. I knew I had about sixty seconds of getaway time while Jake cowered under his blankets. I crawled out the door, making sure to move as oddly as possible in case he could see me, and darted into one of the unfinished storage rooms down the hall. I waited until I had heard both parents go into Jake’s room before I sipped out and quietly returned to my room.
Jake insisted on sleeping in my parent’s bedroom for the next month.
At the opposite end of the house, I slept peacefully every night.
On the ceiling over my head, carefully attached with sticky-tack, were two glowing eyes.
As a point of reference, here is a picture of Jake and I from roughly this age. I had been trying to get a photo of the flower crown I made, and he had been running in front of the camera waving his arms. I stopped him from doing that.
And before you get too sympathetic to poor Jake, it’s worth noting that less than two years later, he instilled in me a permanent fear of heights. I may have been devious, but Jake held his own just fine. Occasionally by shoving me over the edge of a cliff.
To all of you who are saying it makes sense that I grew up to be a lawyer: Jake is also a lawyer. We travel in packs.
Some of you seem to think this is 1. excessive and 2. probably caused some sort of lasting trauma in my brother. To all of you, I can only say: It is clear that you do not have siblings. There is no such thing as “excessive” in intra-sibling revenge schemes; to believe that this is excessive is a quitter’s attitude. You all need to step up your game and be more creative in your interpersonal vendettas.
(The problem with being raised by lawyers is that you all learn that violence is not the answer–violence only leads to more problems. Instead, the answer is premeditated psychological warfare and trapping your enemy in snares of their own making. We’re all very well adjusted over here.)
2. He literally doesn’t remember this. He actually remembers very little of our childhood–his wife will often text me with questions about his younger years, because he straight up cannot recall. This didn’t even make a dent.
Now, the time he was so busy running away from me that he clotheslined himself with the hammock–that made a dent.
Nadine Abdel-Taif, 10, whose home in Palestine was destroyed by Israeli bombing
🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸
Palestinian solidarity. Always. End the apartheid, free Palestine.
Slutshaming women is not ok Slutshaming Alexander Hamilton is totally ok Tumblr logic
he cheated. on his wife.
he’s also been dead for several hundred years this is the funniest post ive ever read in my life
fave things about this post:
the idea that thousands of people are calling alexander hamilton a slut
calling any founding father a slut
the idea that people are SHAMING Alexander Hamilton for being Such A Slut he is being SHAMED for being such a naughty little tart, SPREADING HIS LEGS FOR EVERYONE IN CONGRESS
that this was probably prompted by people expression dissaproval for Alexander Hamilton cheating on his wife - that the OP thinks “slut shaming” and “Isnt it gross that he cheated on his wife” are the same thing
Alexander Hamilton has been dead for 210
210 slutty, slutty years
the way that this is presented in such a CHECKMATE SJWS way when they’re talking about a founding father who cheated on his wife and has been DEAD FOR 210 YEARS
the fact that the words “Slutshaming” and “Alexander Hamilton” have been used in the same sentence
i mean just apply what we’d traditionally think of as “slut shaming” to Alexander Hamilton.
His frock coat is too tight, his breaches are so short, have you SEEN how often he powders his wig??? I heard he gave Thomas Jefferson a handy behind the stables AND that he got fingered by John Hancock
i barely know who alexander hamilton is
date of origin: 2014
The Hamilton discourse extends beyond time.
THIS PRE-DATES THE MUSICAL?!?!
This predates the Musical
Israel launched 200 rockets against Gaza in under 10 minutes. 200 rockets. It is the middle of the night, and it is the night after Eid. Palestinian civilians do not have bomb shelters and sophisticated missile defense systems to protect themselves, they are left without protection as their world is blown up around them. Israel has also deployed ground forces into Gaza. We are watching genocide unfold. And I do not ever use that word lightly. This is genocide against the Palestinian people in the Gaza Strip.
Did you miss the part where Hamas had literally orchestrated a missile attack against Israel the night before?
Did you miss the part where none of the missiles entered Israel because they have the most sophisticated missile defense system in the world? Or maybe you missed the part where Israel bombed the main road to Gaza’s hospital, or where Israel bombed the media news buildings hosting AP and Al Jazeera, or where Israel has targeted missiles towards civilian areas including a refugee camp and two schools, or where Amnesty International has called for Israel to be investigated by the International Criminal Court for war crimes, or where in the past week alone Israel has displaced over 38,000 Palestinian civilians, or...
I don’t want to hear fucking anything about “well Hamas tried to do this-” and?? Hamas is not every Palestinian civilian. Hamas also did not succeed in bombing Israel. And yet Israel responds with continuing and intensifying attacks against innocent Palestinian civilians - an estimated 1/3 of the deaths are children. Israeli civilians may be frightened but they are safe with their bomb shelters and Iron Dome. Palestinian civilians are being mass murdered and displaced as Israel bombs their entire world.
Did you miss the part where israeli occupation forcefully 'evicted' Palestinians from there homes? Did you miss the part where they beat up protesters protesting against this 'eviction' which is actually just forced ethnic displacement sugarcoated by the media? Did you miss the part where none of the civilians bombed anyone because they're fucking civilians? Did you miss the part where israeli forces stormed the Al Aqsa Mosque, the second holiest place for Muslims during the holiest month on the holiest night? Did you miss that? Did you miss that the israeli settlers have blockaded Gaza so the people they bomb won't have access to food and medicine? Did you miss the fact that israeli occupation forces bombed their media building so the palestinians can only rely on social media to make their voices heard? Did you miss the fact that any pro palestinians posts are censored by social media algorithms? If you missed all that, maybe you should look harder at what's going on instead of parroting the flimsy manipulative headline you read.
to every writer of every story who has changed a plot twist simply because the audience guessed it, i give you Matthew Mercer:
“It makes me excited that people are following along so closely and are picking up the threads that I’m dropping. It means that I’m not doing a terrible job about laying down the tracks. Sometimes the surprise isn’t the joy of telling a good story, sometimes it’s about rewarding people for following along and figuring it out…you can still add additional twists along the way.”
finding out that almost all other animals don’t have periods like we do and instead simply reabsorb the egg back into their uterine lining to reuse the nutrients is like finding out the rest of the class has been taking WILDLY easier tests than you for the whole semester
like, hey, cat why don’t you have to use your Cat Dollars to invest in tampons? And cat is just like: fuck that noise, my body is OPTIMAL for not being made of inconvenient nonsense, sucks to be you
wack.
humans: hey, bleeding every month is actually really cumbersome and I lose both valuable nutrients AND fluids I need for survival? What the fuck is up?
evolution: yes, alright, but have you considered this about it? *cartoon blow horn noise*
Human bodies suck for many reasons including but not limited to:
Periods
Bad backs
Permanent breasts that do not leave once baby is weaned
Dangerously large, unprotected, and non retractable male reproductive systems
Huge brain takes up way too much energy gotta eat more sleep less
Baby brain bigger than hips guess birth is life threatening now
Takes like 25 years for big brain to even finish maturing
•Teeth are critical to living, yet not designed to last more than a few years without constant intervention and upkeep, and don’t grow back if this is not accomplished. Also, losing your teeth means the bones in your ear will shift, and your hearing will worsen.
•Breathing, eating, communication all from the same pathway, major choking hazard. Give me a dolphin style breathing tube.
•Most pleasurable nerve endings on the body locating on the filthiest parts of you, guarenteed spread of bacteria.
•knees and shoulders have almost zero capability to heal correctly, once they break, they’re basically broken forever without massive outside influence.
truer words
