avoiding avoiding avoidance

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

someone is mad i turned on the light

[cute-catts]

bro choose every possible cheat code 🐈😺

[ralfmaximus]

QA tester behavior

[power-chords]

This Dan Piraro comic always makes me cry.

[tuttle-did-it]

When I lived in London there was a murder of crows that lived near me. I fed them often, they brought me presents (shiny rubbish and cigarette butts they found on the floor to thank me.)

When I moved, I’m certain they understood I was leaving because I had all my stuff and gave them lots of food and compliments.

But, they chased down my friend who lived in the next burrough over. They had recognised that friend with me several times and followed them to their house when they couldn’t find me.

They adopted my friend and it was now my friend’s job to bring them snacks and receive the presents.

This was maybe 6-7 years ago.

I visited London last year. Went to see my friend. The crows all not only recognised me, they tracked me down. We got into my friend’s flat and not twenty minutes later there was chaos on the balcony.

We open the curtains, the entire fucking murder is there shouting because they wanted to see me.

Crows are the very best birds.

[alsophila-grahami]

mutuals to sit under this thing with

[filmnoirsbian]

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

[filmnoirsbian]

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

[filmnoirsbian]

I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job

[this-is-a-name-dont-worry]

gshsjb

[vintagepromotions]

'Leg in the air - Parthenon' (1986). Photograph by Edgard Alsteens.

[sexchangewerewolf]

[gummybearattacktheworldofdespair]

[ababeinthewoods]

Moments before disaster.

[harlecore]

[naamahdarling]

That has to be the most humiliating way to describe one of Earth's most terrifyingly effective predators.

[sapphic-and-stupid]

Picture of her from the USA Today

[teaboot]

I would let her kill me for sport

[vaelus-malewife]

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

[joshpeck]

why do you and others like vaccines so much?

not dying of preventable diseases is actually one of my favorite hobbies

[cyanocittae]

my friend keeps sending the groupchat voice notes of her eating bussy and calling it "asmr"..... bro go study for your physics exam 😭

[cyanocittae]

hi sorry uh. incredible miscommunication on my part lmfao.

my bad yall

[pangur-and-grim]

ouuaghh

[importantcatpics]

[rickybabyboy]

secret methods

secret reasons

[medievalthymes]

me and the girlies discussing motifs and themes

[cheerlessnes-s]

[thedragonoftelevision]

I finally watched The Sound of Music and like I get it now, I get it. 

It’s a beautiful two hour love story of a strict man finally opening his heart again and then a fifty minute public service announcement to hate the nazis. Brilliant.

[yomikoreadsbooks]

You’re not wrong there…

[allthefandomss]

Reblogging this version cuz those two gifs show the sexiest duality a man can have.

[jonlybonlyfromboldlygo]

2 things a man should do

Look at me like he can’t believe I exist

Hate nazis