Been lurking on Tumblr for a while. Thought it would be a good time to log in. Reader. Writer. Half-assed crafter. I yell at the TV a lot and talk during movies. 'littlechivalry' on AO3 and ff. net
at the start of every month everyone reblogs some insane poetry that’s like “august has arrived and again I swallow my bones in the burning sun” and every time I’m like damn that makes no sense. but kind of true.
[ID: A screenshot of two consecutive posts on the Tumblr dashboard. The first is the original post, and the second is a post by @/shesnake that says, “hello august you piece of shit”. End ID]
I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.
Give yourself the treat before you start. I'm serious. And ideally during the task and afterwards too.
Executive dysfunction comes from a lack of available dopamine. Common advice is wrong. You need to provide your own dopamine before you can start. Otherwise you're trying to run your car on empty.
"But what if I still don't do it" well you already weren't getting it done anyway. Now you have a little treat. Try again later.
You deserve kindness and care even when you aren't being productive.
(Also read How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis)
I give my students a LOT of techniques for starting writing when it feels overwhelming or daunting, but one of them is exactly this: dopamine load BEFOREHAND. It may sound weird to people on tumblr dot com, but a lot of people seriously struggle with executive dysfunction when it comes to writing literally anything, to the extent that it can cause such symptoms as panic, depression, and AI chatbot use.
I usually suggest this technique as a "Reverse Pomodoro." In the original Pomodoro, you work for 25 minutes and then take a break for 5 minutes (the times vary, but that's the essential ratio). People with executive dysfunction often find this insurmountable, and they get even more frustrated, and then the task seems even more difficult. So instead, flip those times.
FIRST, spend 25 minutes doing something energizing and engaging that you like to do. Not scrolling social media passively, not watching tv, not napping. Try something like colouring, doing yoga, running/walking around the block, talking about your favourite tv show with someone in real time, playing with the dog or cat, making and eating a lovely sandwich, hula hooping, something active. Having a little treat absolutely falls in this category!
(on the subject of little treats: refusing yourself food until you do work is for fucking Puritans and you can be kinder to yourself)
Then, after 25 minutes (or however long it takes to eat the sandwich or finish the yoga routine, it doesn't have to be exact), spend 5 minutes writing (or doing whatever you're struggling to start). Most people can coax themselves into doing something they find difficult for five minutes, if they have already filled up the joy/energy/engagement bucket. You can put a timer on for the 5 minutes if you want, or if you find that annoying, just work for as long as you like.
The other key is: don't push yourself to keep going when you're frustrated or tired—that will just reinforce the negative belief that you already have, which tells you that this task is painful to do, and needs to be avoided. If you've commonly had to force yourself to do this kind of task, that's likely part of why you think of it as painful and have trouble starting it now. Also, you should just, at a basic level, try not to put yourself in pain for the sake of productivity. So just do it till the good feelings run out. Then start hula hooping or colouring again for another 25 minutes. When the tank's refilled, try another 5 minutes of work, if you can. Adjust times to taste.
Not every technique works for everyone, but I've seen this one work for many students who are genuinely and seriously disabled by executive dysfunction. And many people find themselves getting more and more excited and engaged in the "difficult" task—because the good feelings from the hula hooping carry over, and because they're suddenly able to do the task without feeling pain, and feel accomplishment without feeling pain.
I also like mixing fun tasks in with the hard tasks. Fun tasks aren't the reward! They're still work! I still get breaks in between!
So, today, one of my terrible awful tasks was scrubbing a piece of the flooded basement floor. Not fun. Drank tea first, and played on Tumblr after.
But another task was researching the history of familial terms - aunt, uncle, niece, nephew, etc. - so I could make a fun post about omegaverse alternatives. I WANTED to do this. I LOVE linguistic research! But I was doing it to answer someone's question, so it was work that was benefiting others. Painted my nails first, made myself an electrolyte drink after.
This teaches your brain that work doesn't HAVE to be terrible! Slowly, my brain is learning to stop dreading things just because they were classified as work, and instead dread only the things that ACTUALLY suck.
(And it doesn't dread them as much, either! Mopping does, in fact, suck. But the downstairs den has been a pit of doom for a half-dozen years, and now that I had to throw a bunch of stuff out, I am REALLY enjoying looking at all the space. There's a little thrill when I start mopping, because I know I'll be able to stare around proudly after. That DID NOT used to happen!)
I've been meaning to make a post talking about my stroke because y'all got bits and pieces of the recovery but I never actually told the story of HOW it went down and the thing is the type of stroke I had is usually the type young people have and since having mine i've now heard multiple stories of people under 40 having very similar strokes and the scary thing is, is that they didn't get help right away. Because you're young and healthy and sure you feel weird but it'll pass right? but it doesn't, and it gets worse, and by the time you get to the hospital (some people literally take days to go) the deficits are worse and recovery is harder.
so here's a super long post about strokes in general, and mine in particular/what I went through.
So for strokes the signs are abbreviated BE FAST. Balance loss, Eyesight changes, Face drooping, Arm weakness, Speech difficulty, -> Time to call 911.
Had I known those MAYBE I would have figured it out but my symptoms were a little mixed. I was reading (fanfic!) in bed because it was a sunday morning and i had nothing pressing to do and suddenly got dizzy. I put my laptop aside because my eyes were blurring (Eyesight changes - symptom #1), and laid down, thinking it would pass, it didn't, it's a little vague how it progressed because I'd been having headaches and neckpain for about 3 weeks leading up to it so I was like 'idk is this a migraine?' (headaches can be a stroke symptom so symptom #2) but i got nauseous and eventually got up and to my utmost surprise I immediately fell over as if I was the drunkest of frat bros. The room literally spun before my eyes as I fell to the floor (Balance loss - symptom #3). I have had some Nights and I had never been that unsteady before. I crawled my way to the bathroom, threw up (nausea - not a common stroke symptom) , took 800mg of ibuprofen, and crawled back to bed.
if you know anything about ibuprofen you might know it's a mild blood thinner and that's a high dose. I may have inadvertently helped myself with that one. I was just feeling like shit and thinking 'idk this might help'
At this point I still thought we were still in Normal Land. Sure, it was a weird morning, but Surely There Was A Reason. (Yes There Was) Anyway, as I'm lying there willing my body to stop suffering I realize my arm is going numb (stroke symptom #4) and I switch positions, because weird, but it doesn't go away, and I gave it a good little while. I'm on a medication that can make my limbs tingle but it usually just does it to my fingers and it dissipates quickly but this wasn't dissipating, and then I realized one of my legs was also going numb. Then one side of my face is going numb.
(at the time I did not look in the mirror but I had a drooping eyelid - symptom #5)
Those all seem bad. I grab my computer and google 'when to go to the hospital for dizzyness' as that felt like the worst of my problems. and indeed the list I found highlighted that if you are also experiencing loss of balance, blurred vision, nausea, and limb numbness, you should see a doctor. That seems like far too many symptoms to be having all to be listed. I grab my phone (thankfully plugged in and by my bed), and start layering on more clothing because it's about 10 degrees out and i'm in a pajama dress. The very nice man at 911 talks with me and sends an ambulance, I tell him I don't think I can get out the front door of my building on my own and he asks if I can get to MY apartment door to which I say yes and he assures me that's fine they will have keys to my building.
(I have been since informed they love to chop down doors but no, I could get that far)
I wait by my door laying down on the ground and they arrive pretty quickly. They see to me in the hallway, which is more of a lobby in my building and the only place with room for me to lie down (I cannot stand unassisted at this point) they ask me a bunch of questions, take vitals, and ask me where I would like to be taken. Me, having never had to go to the fucking hospital in an emergency before, simply go 'wherever is close' because I again, I am having a stroke and do not have the wherewithal to think through these things.
A big firefighter helps me down the stairs (it's only a half flight and I still almost did not make it) and we get underway.
At the hospital they wheel me into triage and I mostly lie there gratefully and answer some questions and respond to some tests (grip strength, following a pen with my eyes, that sort of thing) and then I hear what is great when you've been at urgent care for two hours but what is Very Bad when you just arrived in an ambulance and that's 'She's next'. I jumped the line for a CT scan and an MRI. I was there less than ten minutes before I was actively being scanned. honestly closer to five.
my active symptoms seem to have been worse than some of the stories I've heard, not being able to walk AT ALL in particular, although some other are pretty equal (Footless Jo on youtube had a stroke around the same time I did of the same type and has discussed hers, she delayed going in despite the severity for a variety of reasons and it sounds like her recovery has been difficult) My recovery was pretty easy because i was actively being cared for and on blood thinners right away. I was pretty out of it in the beginning, but I was only in the hospital for 6 days and then in a rehab for another 4 to relearn how to walk and balance, then i was released unto the world and just spent time going to physical therapy and recovering for awhile. I was out of work for about 8 weeks total. I basically had the best outcome for a stroke. I recovered almost fully back to 100% (I'm about 2% less sure footed than I used to be, but it's rarely noticeable), my face still feels a little weird but has markedly improved so I live in hope it will eventually get back to normal. It massively sucked. But strokes can fuck you up for life and I came out a weird medical story to tell and have to take some extra medication now/precautions to take (i cannot do certain types of yoga, no weightlifting, no push ups, no going on rollercoasters.... things that could strain my neck essentially) but overall I escaped very lucky.
For anyone who has ever had covid before, please be sure you are aware of stroke symptoms. Each successive infection raises the risk in a pretty major way, and a lot of people are dying young due to not knowing these signs or being afraid to act on them. Please take care of yourselves.
I don't know how to make this not sound mean but I'm not trying to be mean, so please know that going in.
Listening to a podcast about bodies and eating disorders and the body positivity movement of the last decade ish and hearing someone say (paraphrasing from memory here) "body positivity was all capitalism, there were no legislative changes, just new brands of jeans"
Legislative changes are super important but I cannot emphasize enough that jeans coming in bigger sizes and fat-friendly cuts is actually a really big deal! With meaningful impacts on people's lives (including mine)! Fat people do need clothes! And you may not realize this, but if you're over a certain size (that's not even that big a size) there's a very good chance you can go to a big box store and *not find anything that fits you*. There are towns in the US where if you're over a size 18 you need to drive an hour away or shop online to get things in your size. And they're expensive! "Just buy used" if they even have your size! Fat people want to look nice too. And we face enough judgement during job interviews (to give one example) without trying to do it in clothes that don't fit or are super uncomfortable.
Actually: If you're fat and you want to look cute/hot/masc/femme/etc I cannot recommend this website enough, you put in your measurements and it lists what brands have your size. You can filter for stuff like sensory friendly, nonbinary, masc, organic, etc. It's not AI just a database.
Phoria is a platform to help plus-size and gender-expansive people build a more sustainable and ethical wardrobe they love. We’re a benefit
Also, something I learned from my queer elders in the 00s:
The battle is won when you have the hearts of the people, not the favor of the legislature.
There's a reason "the" case for queer marriage was a widowed man who had to transport his dying fiancé to another state and get married on an airport tarmac. There's a reason MLK told his followers to march wearing their Sunday best. There's a reason "the" push for the ADA was the Capitol Crawl.
And people can sneer about "respectability politics" all they like, but the point was to get so many people looking and saying "my g-d, what kind of monsters are we?" that voting "yes" to queer marriage, "yes" to integration, "yes" to disability rights, was no longer political suicide.
Fat liberation and fat rights didn't clear that hurdle, and feel free to call me cynical if you like, but I think it's because the movement didn't center enough people dying of non-fat-related causes who probably would have lived if they were thin. "I have stage four melanoma, I don't know if I'll live to see next year. I've been seeking treatment for six years and kept being told 'just lose some weight'." THAT would have turned heads.
But it did get pretty close to that hurdle. I think if it can weather the current GLP-1 craze until the inevitable lawsuits start, it has a pretty decent chance of making it over next time.
And the point of this entire post:
It's because of the new jeans sizes that I think so.
you know its telling how few people on the internet actually spend time outdoors in general and around actual gay men in particular
because to hear even Tumblr the "gay gender website" talk people only wear harnesses while strapped into a sex swing while being fisted
but the reality is that the harness, both leather and spandex, in gay male world is like stiletto pumps, a bright red lip stick, a short skirt or push up bra.
sure some people are wearing those things because they're about to get laid or hoping to. But lots of people wear them just to feel sexy, confident or powerful. And there's nothing X rated and "shouldn't be seen in public" about any of that.
lots of gay guys wear harnesses to bars or clubs not because its a sex thing, but because its a sexy thing, they feel attractive and confident.
I get that gay men feeling attractive and confident terrifies people, but if you're at Pride and a guy walks past you in jeans and a harness, either shirtless or over his shirt, he didn't violate your civil rights or do a sex thing in front of you, he's wearing a totally appropriate outside that makes him feel confident and powerful.
All this stuff is probably true, but it makes it sound like the workers are contaminating lettuce.
Wide-spread produce contamination happens through dirty irrigation water that sewage has leaked into.
Even if workers were taking shits in the field, it wouldn’t be enough to make these events and someone with intestinal diseases wouldn’t last long out doing manual labor in the hot sun (ask me how I know).
Food borne illnesses are almost always from shortcuts companies do to save a few bucks (don’t test the water, don’t test the produce, etc.)
I advise calling your LOCAL BUSINESSES and asking if they are selling Taylor Farms produce. I advise following that question with expressions of concern, distrust in the face of Taylor Farms bribes, and expressing a worry that the contaminates will spread to other salad greens.
Make keeping Taylor Farms produce in stores a PR nightmare.
Obviously, jobs that pay a living wage or better! Jobs with hours that make sense! Jobs with training!
But also easier jobs.
If you are applying for a white collar job that is anything more than the most marginal temp work that will drop you in 2 months, the listing goes a little something like:
Seeking self-motivated professional with strong multitasking skills. The role expects you can handle multiple (no limit) projects and deadlines concurrently, while training other staff (but not to relieve your work load) and establishing and continuously updating reference materials, process, and documentation. Multiple professional certifications preferred we won't pay to help you get. "Senior" position requiring 3+ years of experience (alternatively: a non-senior position requiring 5+ years of experience, with no indication there are any junior team members)
So you look at non white collar labor like "maybe that's easier, even if it pays less," and its
Seeking self-motivated professional with strong multitasking skills. The role expects you to open, close, clean, man registers, stock shelves, handle customer support, complete administrative duties, create training materials for new staff, prepare summaries for management, do your own IT, potentially in a physical location by yourself, and also enforce all policies related to shoplifting or other security concerns. Light maintenance and additional janitorial duties. Hours as required by management and subject to change.
And then you look at computer jobs or phone centers and its
eat shit and die. we're the sleaziest motherfuckers this side of hell and employees will compete in the hunger games with the lowest performance getting fired every 2 weeks. But we won't tell you how we determined that. You can be replaced by a robot, piggies.
Easy jobs are politically important. Hypercompetitive cultures surrounding work generate 'losers' who can't keep up with limitless demands. These people who fall out the bottom don't just become 'twitch streamers' or 'failed youtube channels', or 'etsy craftspeople' but also fascist lackeys. Fascists harvest them; that's what ICE is, before the ridiculous hiring incentives. The guys who fall off the bottom of police departments and private security. Women who fall out the bottom? Right wing politics expects they'll quit working altogether and leave public life. Nonbinary people? Forget it.
Jobs are not just getting harder to find and harder to keep, they're getting harder in general. Even if tools can be used to make certain tasks less arduous than in the past, the performance ceiling continuously becomes the floor and there is no possible way to work hard enough to ensure stability. Even if you don't burn out, in a hypercompetitive world someone has to not be able to keep up, by design, when performance is evaluated. Eventually, that someone WILL be you.
i think more people need to be aware that 1 in 4 americans is unemployed. the employment rate reported by the us government only counts people receiving unemployment benefits. if your benefits ran out or you didn't qualify or you're a freelancer? you don't count.
ive applied for more than 70 jobs this year and haven't gotten so much as an interview. i have a master's degree and years of experience, but i can't even get a shitty admin job because of the executive obsession with operating with as little staff as possible-- to say nothing of the way ai bros are trying to make human employees obsolete.
if not for the obsession with Record Profits Every Quarter so the shareholders can buy another yacht, all of these people (me included) could be employed, under less stress, working easier jobs. easier jobs would also allow more disabled people to work, which is supposedly something the government wants.
let's also not forget the way that prison labor incentivizes the "fire half the employees every 6 months" business model. why pay people even minimum wage when you can exploit a literally captive workforce?
Legalizing copyright infringement would be dismantling one of the few limitations on the white urge to steal from Black Art and Black Artists. The practical application of it would be anti-Black as fuck
this argument makes so many assumptions that I disagree with that I don't know where to start
Steven Spielberg has received criticism for buying the film rights to MLK's speeches, and further controversy stems from King's estate.
In 2009, Steven Spielberg's DreamWorks company paid the estate for film rights to King's words, along with his life rights, which allow a person or company to make content based on an individual's story. DreamWorks has yet to produce or direct Spielberg's planned King biopic, but the rights have caused complications for numerous filmmakers. (Neither Spielberg's literary agent nor King's estate returned Broadly's request for comment.)
King has received only one major biopic, 2014's Selma, directed by Ava DuVernay […] Instead of using King's speeches, DuVernay wrote original monologues that sounded like soliloquies the civil rights leader could have given. […] When asked about the changes in 2014, DuVernay told the Washington Post, "We knew those rights are already gone. They're with Spielberg."
izzy806
titsay
theartofmadeline
germansingergirl
