Twisted and Sweet

Avid Book dragon. Fandom Fanatic. Asexual (if it ain't obvious).

[twisted-lil-candy-cane]

Is Good Omens S3 the new Merlin S5? Because that's how I'm treating it...

[pangur-and-grim]

I feel so insane about ai. I've had face-to-face conversations with people who use it for therapy, who use it to calculate the safety of pill interactions, who use it for all their emails and grant applications and legal documents and academic papers and finance sheets and for every single question they have about the world, and if you tell them about the ecological costs they just laugh and say "I guess I've used a lot of water." and I've been in multiple gatherings of 10+ people where I'm THE ONLY PERSON who doesn't use chatgpt. it's turning me into a ranting raving pariah, because how don't you people see??? why don't you understand??????? this bullshit didn't exist five years ago, you absolutely do not need it, and it is destroying everything

[spicyyhobbits-deactivated202411]

Reblog to give your mutuals a mini pumpkin in the palm of their hands. 🎃

[gallusrostromegalus]

The worst thing I ever did at a D&D table was when our DM ran out of place name ideas and told us the name of the port town we needed to go to was "Bar Harbor".

So I tricked him into roleplaying the slightly-too-helpful town guard into giving us directions to- Well you see, the party has been out in the wilderness for like a MONTH, we're all a mess, the dwarf's beard is out of control, so can you tell us- Where can we find the Bar Harbor Barber?

But we were not done. We each took turns, like a pack of velociraptors.

We also had Dryad in the party and a few of her branches got broken in a fight and now her whole canopy is unbalanced and it looks awful, but she really needs to see a specialist, is there a Bar Harbor Arbor Barber?

The Paladin also wanted to look in on a small church he'd heard of, that the city had a patron saint, who was boiled alive in a cauldron of ale, so where is the temple of the Bar Harbor Larger Martyr?

It was around this point that Chris started to tire of this nonsense.

The bard, naturally, wanted to go carousing, and he'd heard this town had some of the most attentive and welcoming Ladies of the Night on the continent, known by thier brightly colored stocking bands, so had he seen any of the Bar harbor Ardor Parlor Farber Garters?

Chris immediately escalated to threats of a Total Party Kill.

Unfortunately, I'd had time to prepare and-

"What do you want?"

"I just wanted to know if you'd seen my cousin."

"...Your cousin?"

"Yeah, I know it's a long shot, but he's got a pretty distinctive appearence and you might have seen him around town."

"Oh No-"

"Okay so he's Welsh and the whole family used to be in the wagon-making business but he got into clothes manufacture until there was an accident with a lamp black dye and now he's permanently stained a sooty color and that really turns heads, so now he's got a job drawing in crowds for the city funded swap meet- no, not the Drow that also works there, I mean like the inside of a fireplace- anyway, he got tired of people mixing the two of them up so he started wearing this fancy armor with a magical +1 charisma bonus-"

"Gallus I swear to God I *WILL* Summon the Tarraqsue-"

"-So have you seen my cousin, Arthur Carter, former Sartor but now he's the Darker Harker for the Charter Barter of Bar Harbor, the one with the Charmer Armor?"

Amazingly, we survived the Tarrasque.

[pikablob]

You do realise Bar Harbor is a real place, right? It’s in Maine:

[gallusrostromegalus]

Important Clarification:

Chris the DM is FROM Bar Harbor, Maine.

We did this to his Home Town.

[barnlarn]

Revising some of my horse drawing tips pages, starting with necks!

Corrected some muscle names and added more explanation/ method.

[barnlarn]

Hip page update!

[barnlarn]

Here are a couple more sections! Going to put all of these into a poster format soon

[twisted-lil-candy-cane]

What does it mean to 'come out' as Asexual

I didn't 'come out' as anything, I just discovered the name to a part of my identity I hadn't had before

I've openly identified as asexual for just over 2 years now, and have identified as aromantic for six.

My parents and I were jabbing, teasing, the kind that is sort of friendly, familiar, but can border on the patronising, the almost harsh but not quite there. My mother asked who am I ? Tell us, your mother and father, who you are if you think you know.

Now, I know who I currently am, but I also know that who I am, and the box I squeeze myself into when I am around my parents are not the same being. The little checkbox self that has specifically been curated to fit my parents, or at least some of my parents expectations is not the complete, the whole person of who I am.

And I know exactly which parts of me that my parents will accept. My asexuality, my aromanticism are not on that list. I don't know if they ever will be. My parents know I identify as Aro Ace. We do not talk about it. But it is a part of me, of who I am. I am not ashamed of it, I will not hide it, but I also don't have to place myself into an uncomfortable position of explaining how I know I am Ace to my parents.

[twisted-lil-candy-cane]

Reposting this one in honor of Ace Week 2024

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

happy ides of March

[psychosociogentleman-deactivate]

yo why is this on my dash its august

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

Yeah, why is this getting notes? It's August!

[dragonanarchist1155]

It's knife day

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

Oh

[twisted-lil-candy-cane]

For all the stabs

[twisted-lil-candy-cane]

Dig your own rabbit hole

[twisted-lil-candy-cane]

So there's this person. They're aesthetically pleasing (sounds weird when I put it like that) I find them hot. Not in the I want to have sex with them (maybe i do?) but definitely hot as in I want to paint them. I want to have fun with them, and go on dates and open my heart and I want to be able to love them.

I haven't told them I'm ace. I told the last person whom I felt like this towards and it consumed our relationship because it was always a back and forth. He didn't understand what it meant for me to be ace, to be out and proud of that, and he was curious and gentle about it. And we got real close, like I thought if there was anyone I would have sex with it would be him (now I've come to realize I do that alot).

Maybe it's me? Do I need to find someone who has more experience with this? Probably. Am I going to do it? I don't know.

Maybe I should.

[emotionalwords]

[twisted-lil-candy-cane]

What does it mean to 'come out' as Asexual

I didn't 'come out' as anything, I just discovered the name to a part of my identity I hadn't had before

I've openly identified as asexual for just over 2 years now, and have identified as aromantic for six.

My parents and I were jabbing, teasing, the kind that is sort of friendly, familiar, but can border on the patronising, the almost harsh but not quite there. My mother asked who am I ? Tell us, your mother and father, who you are if you think you know.

Now, I know who I currently am, but I also know that who I am, and the box I squeeze myself into when I am around my parents are not the same being. The little checkbox self that has specifically been curated to fit my parents, or at least some of my parents expectations is not the complete, the whole person of who I am.

And I know exactly which parts of me that my parents will accept. My asexuality, my aromanticism are not on that list. I don't know if they ever will be. My parents know I identify as Aro Ace. We do not talk about it. But it is a part of me, of who I am. I am not ashamed of it, I will not hide it, but I also don't have to place myself into an uncomfortable position of explaining how I know I am Ace to my parents.

[twisted-lil-candy-cane]

My Asexuality and how I experience jealousy

It was weird, seeing you with someone else in the way you used to be with me. I didn't realise then but that spike of uncomfortableness, of self-rooted emotion strong enough to steal my breath for a second. That was jealousy. It is jealousy.

How strange.

I don't think I've ever experienced jealousy like this before. Taking it out of the little space in my sternum, right below my ribcage where I feel it, I'm looking at it now, turning it over and over in my hands, my head, my heart, trying to figure out where it came from, why its here, why it appeared for you and not any of the others I ever deigned myself to care about.

Thinking about it, about you.

Being comfortable with my asexuality made me confident enough to reach out and seek a remedy for my loneliness. You fit the hole I thought I had. When I realised that what I was doing was going to come with a price higher than I was willing to pay, a price I didn't even let you see, I ended it. Maybe that makes me a coward, or selfish or maybe it makes me strong.

Who knows.

I thought I had been honest, had set my boundaries. I had learnt that lesson already. If I talk about it from the beginning there are no regrets later on. My asexuality is part of my identity, and any future partner is going to know that, that I will talk about it, that I love that part of me. But my confidence in discussing my boundaries in the bedroom does not mean you are the 'special' one. The one that gets to change my asexuality.

That's not how that works.

The jealousy wasn't aimed at the pretty blond you were tackking to. She's actually quite sweet. No. I was jealous of you, of your 'straightness' because I know relationships come so much easier for you when there is something there. I'm jealous because you have something I do not.

I am not broken.

But sometimes I feel broken, incomplete. I wish I could feel sexual attraction the way so many people have described it to me. That I didn't have to explain my aceness to every person I kissed with a fiery passion but never wanted in my bed.for anything other than cuddles. I feel jealous because as much as I am confident in my asexuality, I still want what society has told me I will always want and yet I have never actually wanted that.

I don't know if I like feeling jealous.

Would it feel different if we were actually together. It might, it might not. Next time I see you and feel jealous, I won't let it steal my breath. It can wash over me and I'll use it to remind me why I love myself. Because I don't need you to feel complete, I can do that for myself. And that it'll be reserved for the person in the future who understands that when I choose them its because I want to. Not because I need to.

[seawitchkaraoke]

I hate how much we categorize love, how many rules we put on love.

You’re only allowed to love one person romantically at a time, if you love anyone else, you have to emphasise, always, that it’s “platonic” that it’s “just friends” and the “platonic” devalues it, because we’re taught that romantic love is always always the one, the main thing to strive for, the one that beats everything else, but at the same time, because you cannot be allowed to have too much of this alleged “number one love”, we can only ever feel like that about one person.

And we argue all the time, which love is the strongest “I love you more than anything” is a common phrase in romantic stories, but “a mother’s love for her child is the strongest thing in the world” is an equally common sentiment. We even rank platonic love, the one kind of love we’re at least allowed to have a lot of, even there we ask “so who is your best friend?” like that is a question I could ever answer, like I could ever choose a maid of honour or a best man, like I should be able to

We put romantic love on a pedestal but then we turn right around and devalue it, by conflating it so so often with sex, which is in itself, the least valued form of love (if it is love, I’m ace, I wouldn’t know, but surely that connection feels like love in it’s own way) while at the same time being the thing that people “just can’t live without”. If people in a romantic relationship act ridiculous it’s because of “hormones” and men “thinking with their dicks” but if people don’t want sex in their relationship at all it’s “not really a relationship, that’s just a friendship right?”.

We have all these categories and rules but we clearly don’t even understand them ourselves, romantic desire is equated with sexual desire, but a romance without sex is just a friendship, but a friendship is barely valued at all and always always the lowest form of love, “oh sure we’re friends and have been since we were 6 but one day we’ll all find partners and won’t meet as often”, you prioritise a man you haven’t met yet, a love you haven’t felt yet, over the love we have, people get jealous of their partner’s friends, “you just want to fuck her” my friend’s girlfriend yells at me, because of course, she can’t be allowed to have more than one love in her life, clearly I love her too much to “just” want to be friends, clearly I could never be satisfied with this, clearly……

I’m constantly holding back, afraid of letting my friends and family know just how deeply I love them in fear of it being too much, too scary, too much like romance, you can’t be allowed to love someone that deeply unless it’s romance and of course from there it’s a tiny step to sex “ew you love your brothers, that’s incest”.

We categorize love but we don’t understand the categories, we make all these rules, but they only ever hurt us.

So your question to how I feel about this person or another? I love them. Isn’t that enough?

[0sculum-inf4me]

every tumblr user: despite the fact that no one views or cares about my blog, i will continue to spend the majority of my life updating it

[uncle-cazador]

I aint posting for them. I’m posting for me.

[voyageofbran]

I see your posts tho.

[uncle-cazador]

Hazards of following me

[twisted-lil-candy-cane]

Jokes on you cos I use this site like its my memos app

[chrisflemingslegs]

hey kids who read fic, listen up

it’s annoying to me as a Fanfic Elder that y’all don’t understand how consent works in regards to reading fanfic

last night I saw a fic that had EIGHT of my favorite tags included and a great summary BUT it also contained a tag for a topic that bothers me. I weighed the pros/cons and decided NOT to read the fic because the ONE tag I disliked was something that could trigger a panic attack if the scene went into any sort of detail - it wasn’t worth risking the eight good tags.

from the first moment I noticed the fic to the moment I decided not to read it, the entire experience was MY RESPONSIBILITY. the author tagged the fic correctly, I knew what my limits were, and I respected them.

if you find a fic with tags you don’t like, JUST DON’T READ IT 

don’t harass the author, don’t post a big whiny rant about it on Tumblr, just keep scrolling

that is your job as a reader. 

[winterisakiller]

louder for the people in the back

[twisted-lil-candy-cane]

For the new readers

[ororium-z]

Happy Pride!

[rootbeergoddess]

Every pride, you must reblog this. No exceptions

[thesaltofcarthage]

I love that four different people on my feed scheduled this joyous person to reblog by 8am on June 1. I look forward to seeing this a dozen more times today.

[twisted-lil-candy-cane]

Reblogging and definitely saving for next year

[just-shower-thoughts]

Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

[savvygunner]

[violetnpurple]

LISTEN-

[bl6ckwoman]

Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter e in it …

[antiandrogen]

[teamnowalls-deactivated20180918]

father god 

[abrown16]

…if you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd.

[antiandrogen]

[ethereal-sketches]

-_-’

(15+15=30

25+25=30)

[britteryikes]

25+25 = 30? You sure about that??

[laurdlannister-kingslayer]

Lord have mercy….

[kumasenpai]

Bye

[mf-johnson-deactivated20190605]

3 days into 2018 smh

[kwantsu]

LMAOOOOOOO

[effigyofubiquity-deactivated202]

[lizzysarai-deactivated20190109]

One

Three

Five

Nine

And since everything else after that is a variant of these numbers, then all odds have the letter ‘E’.

[britteryikes]

🗣YOU FORGOT SEVEN!!

[thxrsdxy]

It keeps getting worse.

[e-wifey-deactivated20201128]

LMAOOO WHAT IS GOING ON

[ellsworthej]

[goldensweetcheeks-deactivated20]

My head hurts…

[skullprincess]

This is why that Tumblr University shit was the dumbest idea ever just look at this

[drankinwatahmelin]

who failed yall?

[microtear-deactivated20181213]

IM SCREAMING

[lukestarkillerisgay]

[hey-hey-shutthefuckup-deactivat]

You whole ass forgot about eight - a number with an e and is pretty fucking even

[shaolinbynature]

why would 8 be brought up if it’s EVEN in a post about ODDS??????? the post said “every single ODD number has an ‘e’ in it” not “every single number with an ‘e’ is odd” what the fuck

[emma-d-klutz]

3 days until 2019 and we’re still here

[legowerewolf]

happy New year’s eve

[prguitarman]

I’m going to bring this flaming dumpster into 2019 so future generations can see what a mistake Tumblr was

[majitowfoxlover]

Er, guys two is odd and doesn’t have an e. Just saying…

[hurleyquinnzel]

did you deadass just try to tell me two is odd? i’m fucking crying throw the whole website away

[untitled42717]

Reblogging for the last one😂

[kitsumekat]

The one thing I notice is that no matter how much you want to throw this site away, you just can’t.

[alternative-memo-deactivated202]

TWO IS ODD?!?! PFFFTT I’M SCREAMING

[binkeljuice]

Wait what about zero that’s an odd number ,no?

[hurleyquinnzel]

[mysticalpoodle]

ok but hear me out fifty and thirty make up for the fact they have no e by the way they are pronounces third-E fifth-E

[im-an-aesthetic-mess]

bro why do 30 and 50 matter THEY’RE FUCKING EVEN

[fish-food-s]

what the actual fuck is happening

[dickplinko]

1 is an even number

[link-the-feral-anon]

I’m gonna smack you

[insert-gay-pun-queer]

-30 and -50 have an e in them

[kurlyfryz]

Wait why are we so quick to throw away the Zero idea

[anachronistic-cat]

Zero isn’t a number

[kurlyfryz]

It can’t be divided by two though, can it

[toaster-120]

It can??? 0/2=0??

[kurlyfryz]

[baconaxolotl101]

OD NUMBERS

onE

thrEE

fivE

sEvEn

ninE

[batsdotjpg]

OD numbers huh?

[the-kleptomancer]

Anything that ends with a 0,2,4,6,8 is even and the rest is odd (1,3,7,9) stop freaking out y’all

[batsdotjpg]

YOU FORGOT 5

[ozzypawsbone-princeofbarkness]

DUDE WHAT ABOUT FOUR

[batsdotjpg]

What about it?????

[ozzypawsbone-princeofbarkness]

THAT DOESN’T HAVE E IN IT

[batsdotjpg]

THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S EVEN?????

[frogseyy]

A R E Y O U G U Y S O K A Y

[getinthehandbasket]

21 days away from 2020, folks.

[m-pennanti]

Please tell me I can start the new freaking decade with a post arguing about something as stupid as this. Please. 🙏

[nerdy-as-heck]

This is art at its finest

[fandom-dragon]

It be 2022 and y'all gonna tell me it’s an odd year