I made this blog with the specific intention of yelling about problematic ships to a like-minded audience. If you don't want to hear about incest, for the sake of us both, smash that mf block button. If you love codependency, control, and obsession then my ask box is always open for your important thoughts.
I'll set up my AO3 links and shit in due time.
Fandoms: mostly Homestuck&HSBC, TLT, BG3 and Hades (game) atm.
I use he/she/it pronouns, and would describe myself as genderfluid and bisexual but in a "contains multitudes" way.
This whole blog is considered NSFW and 18+. I'm not your mum but I'm not gonna follow anyone underage (and if I reblog from a teenager odds are I didn’t check their age before doing so + my bad), and will probably softblock underage followers.
I’d like to emphasise that there will be untagged, potentially triggering content here. This blog is, primarily, a place for the parts of myself that I can’t really express around my irl friends: this includes a plethora of fucked up kinks and deeply problematic ships. My memory sucks, I’m bad at tagging, so if you are triggered by text posts about rape, incest, all kinds of weird furry shit, ageplay, etc Do Not Follow Me. I would also like to reiterate that all the posts on this blog are fiction being created or co-created by consenting adults- you’re welcome to find it distasteful, but we’re literally just playing pretend.
I have strong opinions on almost all discourse, but engaging with it is generally bad for me and the people I interact with. If your take sucks I'm gonna block you unless I like you in which case I Do Not See It.
I write fanfic, sometimes. When the spirit possesses me. My muses are primarily the Tridentarii twins from the locked tomb series, because I like when sister fuck each other: more fics are in the pipeline, but I finally set up my AO3 to 1) match this blog name and 2) have my fics visible!
Body of work
Pleasures of the flesh
Old enough to remember hskin tumblr being a big part of my late teens. I suspect we're all entitled to financial compensation. Also, John Gaius is absolutely a Dirk kinnie. Follow if you agree.
I’ve had this thought in my head for a long while now that, after the Roaring/Final Tragedy, the latter half of chapter seven would feature the characters breaking the game itself and travelling through chapters in order to write a new ending and save Kris (and perhaps Dess by extension).
And after chapter five’s weird route ended with Kris and Noelle breaking the game in another way, I then had the thought… “Well…what if these two Noelles crossed paths?”
Alt text for this comic under the read more:
Page 1
Panel 1 - In a largely empty, completely grayscale-looking approximation of Hometown, a choppy, pixel door outlined in the DEVICE color green appears. Through it, there’s signs of the game’s layer existing outside of the game itself. Three figures look through the door: Susie, Noelle and Ralsei, all in different forms of their dark world selves. Susie has become a full dragon, with horns, wings and a much longer tail. Her eyes glow red from the soul. Ralsei is now fully femme presenting, in a green dress, and with their scarf turned into a pink ribbon. She holds up a magic flame to light their way. Noelle is still in her white robes, but now with small glowing angel wings at her back, and a golden halo resembling an eye with six points. All of them look shocked and confused.
Title: MAKE or BREAK
Panel 3 - In a reverse shot, we see the other side of the door, into the empty grayscale landscape. The area is dotted with red tears in reality where the dark world peeks through, black and red lines in contrast to the boring grayscale town. Two other figures look back at the three that have spotted them: Kris and Noelle on the weird route. Noelle looks darker, bedraggled, her hair tangled and wet. She is in her light world outfit, except for her right arm, which seems permanently stuck with the arm and robed sleeve of her dark world self. Kris scuffles along the ground without really walking, arms hanging limp, their body almost completely dull gray and black. A dimmed soul can be seen through cracks in their chest. They don’t even seem to be an actual person anymore, and are just dragging behind Noelle like a convenient carrying case for the soul. Noelle looks back through the door with equal shock and confusion.
Page 2
Panel 1 - A medium close-up as weird route (WR) Noelle falls to her knees with a FWUMP. She catches herself forward with her hands.
Panel 2 - Side view of WR Noelle as she leans forward, her hair covering much of her face, her body shaking. Behind her, the hollowed out Kris stands silently. “I don’t…don’t understand it!” WR Noelle says.
Panel 3 - Upshot as WR Noelle stares down at her hands, which are veined red from using the soul so much. She’s still shaking. “I’m strong enough!” she says, her face contorted in anger and confusion. “I’ve been strong enough to do the IMPOSSIBLE!”
Panel 4 - Wider shot as she looks back up at the other three from the normal route, who all hover above the ground, looking down at her with pity and horror. WR Kris still slumps beside her. “So how is that…still not enough…to win against YOU?” WR Noelle cries, looking specifically at normal route (NR) Noelle, who whisps away the last snowflakes of a spell. They’ve just finished a fight, and WR Noelle lost.
Panel 5 - Downshot as WR Noelle remains on her hands and knees, glaring up at NR Noelle hovering over her. NR Noelle’s wings and halo can be seen from the back. WR Noelle finishes, “When all YOU did…was stay on track?!”
Page 3
Inset panel of NR Noelle holding up a hand and looking off to the side, as if trying to fish out a good response. “Well…I DID get to be a final boss,” she says. “It seems like…you skipped all that?”
Panel 1 - In comparison between Noelle’s statements, we see an image of what might have happened on the normal route. Dragon Susie faces off against an enormous boss that seems to be the Angel and Noelle combined into one being. It’s difficult to see the entire creature, but it has enormous angel wings, concentric golden rings around the head sporting snowflake-like spikes, shining silver armor, and a mess of feathers and antlers protruding from the head. Susie attacks the boss with bright green fire breath; the same color as her healing magic.
Panel 2 - In contrast, in the weird route, Noelle and Kris traverse the landscape, spotted with tears into the dark world. In both spaces, Lightners and Darkners are left frozen in ice by Noelle’s power. At first Noelle is in her dark world outfit, but as they progress the ability for her to change her appearance breaks, and only one sleeve is left of her robe. The two seem stuck in an endless loop of breaking things and freezing things to get stronger.
Panel 3 - Mid shot of WR Noelle as she searches for a response to this. “But then, that just means…”
Panel 4 - She finds her response and shoots back, “That you still LOST!” She glares back up at her angelic counterpart.
Panel 5 - Inset panel of NR Noelle looking a little confused at the accusation. “...What? Of course I did,” she says.
Panel 6 - “What’s…the other option?” she continues.”That I kept winning, and holding on to that power, and never going anywhere else? Just being STUCK there, forever?” After the final battle, dragon Susie helps a restored Noelle to her feet, tears streaming down her face. Giant feathers drift down around them, showing that the angel form was defeated.
Page 4
Panel 1 - Wide shot as the normal route gang face weird route Noelle and Kris. The landscape is still grayscale, broken and empty; all of the people in it frozen and dead. “...Like you are now?” NR Noelle suggests sadly.
Panel 2 - Mid shot of WR Noelle, with WR Kris still hovering in the background. WR Noelle sneers, clutching her chest and pointing up at her counterpart. “Don’t act so smug! You should KNOW…we were trapped there!”
Panel 3 - Side view of WR Noelle as she clutches the sides of her head, expression angry and desperate. “In that town, in that…story, that LIFE!” she cries. “We had to get out!!”
Panel 4 - Side view of NR Noelle as she looks down at her weird route self with sadness. She responds, “Of course I understand. I’m you.”
Panel 5 - Full shot of normal route Susie, Noelle and Ralsei, all looking hurt and pitying as they hover over the scene. Noelle closes her eyes and clutches her hands to her chest, genuinely distressed. “I’m just…I’m so, so sorry, that…that thing, made you believe…”
Panel 6 - Closeup on just Noelle as she looks on with pity. She finishes, “...that the only way out was to hurt yourself.”
Panel 7 - Extreme close up on WR Noelle as she looks off to the side, not wanting to meet NR Noelle’s gaze. She does not want to accept there may have been other options. “No, I…I had to…” she says.
Page 5
Panel 1 - Full shot of Noelle and Susie looking on with sadness. Susie speaks up, flaring her wings up, and pulling her hands to her chest. “Don’t you get it?! We STILL got free!” she says, her expression pained at seeing Noelle like this. “I’m going to CHANGE it, for all of us!”
Panel 2 - Side view of Susie as she looks down at WR Noelle, still clutching her chest. Tears prick at the corners of her eye. “You…didn’t have to do that to yourself…and to Kris!...”
Panel 3 - Mid shot on WR Noelle as she screams back, “You don’t even KNOW what Kris did to ME!” Behind her, WR Kris says and does nothing.
Panel 4 - Ralsei speaks up, extending a hand towards the unmoving Kris. “Is that even Kris anymore?” she cries.
Panel 5 - Ralsei still reaches a hand towards WR Kris, but they do not move and react. Whatever person was there seems to be completely gone now.
Panel 6 - Full shot of NR Noelle, Susie and Ralsei still facing down WR Noelle. WR Noelle’s antlers frame the three of them in the foreground. “You broke the boundary so much earlier than we did…” NR Noelle says. “...Did you never figure out…WHAT had changed Kris?”
Panel 7 - “What was giving you that power?” A flashback scene to the weird route in chapter four, where Kris equips the thorn ring back onto Noelle. The shot just focuses on their hands, and the thorn being placed against Noelle’s finger.
Page 6
Panel 1 - Focus on NR Noelle as she looks off to the side, looking disturbed. Her halo eye follows her line of sight. “You know what the worst part about all this is?” she says. “The thing that really makes my fur stand on end?”
Panel 2-3 - A large panel showing both sides of the story: in the top one we see the end of the weird route in chapter five, with Noelle and Kris sinking upside-down into the bottom of the lake. The water is green and dark, except for the light of the soul starting to shine between them. In the bottom one we see the end of the normal route, with a multitude of dark fountains filling the skies around Castle Town. Kris lies injured and bleeding out, their right hand gone, and a dark hole in their chest. A mix between blood and strange, chopping darkness pours out of their wounds; they’re in mortal danger. Above them, Ralsei in their dress tries to keep them stable with her healing magic. Noelle reaches upward with her own powerful magic, and dragon Susie blasts at the world’s barrier with her fire breath. The two sides mirror each other, both breaking through reality.
NR Noelle says, “It’s knowing that the thing that did this to you…and to Kris… And the thing that’s now helping us SAVE Kris… They’re probably the same person.”
Panel 4 - A repeat of panel one, with NR Noelle looking back towards her counterpart. She almost has a wry, knowing smile on her face. “I mean…that’s what WE’D do, right? Try everything, even the messed-up options. See how things break.”
Page 7
Panel 1 - Full shot as WR Noelle slumps further to the side, her expression blank. WR Kris stands silently behind her, while NR Noelle still stands in the foreground. It’s all starting to his WR Noelle; understanding is coming to her.
Panel 2 - Slightly closer in on WR Noelle as she leans to the side. A weary smile creeps across one side of her face as she looks to the side. “I see. That’s how it is,” she says.
Panel 3 - Closer on WR Noelle’s face as she looks back at her counterpart. She’s smiling, but it’s not a happy one…more resigned. “So I’m the broken one, huh?”
Panel 4 - Mid shot of NR Noelle as she looks down, clutching her hands to her chest again, eyes closed. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She seems to be genuinely grieving for her other self.
Panel 5 - The grief does not reach WR Noelle, who just looks down at the thorn ring on her right hand with a resigned smile. “Don’t be. I don’t regret it,” she says. “I still got to see things…got to DO things, that you never will.”
Panel 6 - Downshot of NR Noelle and Ralsei. She looks over at Ralsei as they put a hand on her shoulder, and hold their head with their other hand. “Please. Let’s just go. I can’t stand it here. I can’t stand it…I can’t…” she says, looking genuinely distressed.
Panel 7 - “There’s nothing here we can help Kris with.” Ralsei finishes. Meanwhile, WR Kris continues to slump in the air, saying and doing nothing. Whatever Kris was here is long gone.
Panel 8 - Mid shot of Noelle and Susie, as Noelle turns to face Susie. “Yeah. It’s…gettin’ antsy again,” Susie says, clutching her stomach with one hand. They all seem ready to leave.
Page 8
Panel 1 - Wide shot as the normal route trio head back into the green-colored door they entered from, back into the DEVICE layer. WR Noelle watches them turn to leave from the foreground.
Panel 2 - “WAIT! I know…aren’t you going to do it?” WR Noelle calls after them, her expression now more manic.
Panel 3 - Full shot of WR Noelle still on the ground, with Kris slumped behind her. NR Noelle stands in the foreground, just her arm visible. “I know that you can!” WR cries, pointing a hand up at NR Noelle.
Panel 4 - Extreme closeup on NR Noelle’s face. Her eyes look haunted. “...I don’t want to,” she says.
Panel 5 - A repeat of panel 3, with NR Noelle’s arm in the foreground, and WR Noelle on the ground, looking up at her. Her expression is still manic; she wants to get in the last word. “But you HAVE to,” she says. “We always did end up having to delete those glitched pets, right? So turn and face me. I want to SEE you do it.”
Panel 6 - Closer in on WR Noelle as she holds her hands up, her smile twisted, still clinging to that feeling of impossible power. “I want us BOTH to know how it FEELS!”
Panels 7-8 - A closeup of NR Noelle, facing away from the camera. She then turns her head slightly to look back at her weird route self, her expression now colder.
Page 9
Panel 1 - Full shot as Noelle turns back, just in front of the opening they’ve come through. Susie and Ralsei, on the other side of the opening and back into the middle layer, both look back with sadness. WR Noelle has asked for a final word from NR Noelle, and will receive it. “There’s…one more thing. You didn’t lose because I was a final boss, or anything like that,” NR Noelle says.
Panel 2 - Mid shot as NR Noelle turns back to fully face WR Noelle in the foreground. She starts to raise a hand. “You lost because your power came from the thing in Kris.”
Panel 3 - “The one playing this all out,” she continues. “So…what happens to your power when it’s NOT playing?”
The panel shows an extreme closeup on WR Noelle’s face, with a focus on her eyes. All of the challenging smile in her expression is gone, and instead, there’s only a dawning horror. She only now understands what has happened.
Panel 4 - Upshot as NR Noelle stands over her, raising her right hand to her head. Magic starts to gather around the ring at her finger. Noelle is cast largely in shadow, her expression grave. Her full power is now about to be unleashed, and it terrifies both of them. “I’m sorry it never gave you the chance to realize it…but we never needed it,” she says. “We’ve always been strong enough.”
Page 10
Panel 1 - In an extreme close up on Noelle’s hand, she gives a little flick of her finger, dragging magic with it. It’s clear now that she’s wearing the Gilded Rose ring.
Panel 2 - In the DEVICE layer, the weird route file is erased.
Let's say a video game you're playing has a protagonist which needs to be given a name by you, the player. It is implied this character is "you" and you should put yourself in their shoes. Assuming there is a canon/default name supplied:
What name will make the story more immersive for you?
This morning I’m thinkin about how Miles dislocated his shoulder on the Enterprise and Crusher was like Ugh Okay I’ll go get the Osteotractor™️ and then Miles dislocated his shoulder on DS9 and Julian just fucking cracked it back into place then and there
Medical Person Explanation: the more you dislocate your shoulder the less stable it becomes. In early days Miles' shoulder was still pretty tight and needed the Osteoretractor™, but the time he gets to DS9 it's become so loose Julian can just pop it in.
In the future it'll become so unstable Miles will be able to pop the joint in and out at will.
ID: two gifs from a scene in Next Generation where Miles walks into Beverly Crusher's medbay in a colorful skin-tight athletic outfit, holding his arm. Crusher says, "I'll go get the osteotractor." Next two gifs show Miles in a similar but shinier athletic outfit being shown into the medbay by Odo, then laying on a medbay bed and wincing in pain as Julian pushes his arm back into place
To fully understand the Bashir/Garak thing in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, you need to understand that Garak first appears in the second episode of the series, very obviously trying to arrange a hookup with Bashir – like, it's just barely subtext – and then the network was like "what the fuck" and ordered to showrunners to knock it off with the gay shit, and as a result, Garak promptly disappears from the show for twenty episodes, next appearing in the fifth episode of season two. Can you imagine what that did to folks who were watching in real time?
I want you to imagine being a viewer who's into gay Star Trek fanfic, having this be your cold intro to these two characters' dynamic, then getting zero interactions between them for the next eight months.
I feel deeply silly saying this - I don't know how it's taken me so many literal years to notice, but there's not one but two vases of Sweet Flag on the table. Sweet Flag, or Calamus, is a very old, lesser-known symbol among gay men, adopted from its heavy use in Walt Whitman's poetry. And somehow, despite watching this scene ??? times, it took me this watch to finally register the pink triangles and lavender buttons all over the wall behind Garak.
As annoying as it is that the network yelled at the showrunners for this, it cracks me the fuck up that even the set designers were winking exaggeratedly at the audience like "Psst! Gay gay gay gay gayyyy~"
befitting that the figures who have created and inspired vampiric characters often had neuroses of dieting and weight loss—from lord byron's infamous binges and restrictions to anne rice's gastric bypass surgery. anorexia genre indeed
they throw stratt in jail for life but world renowned, white european political prisoners don't get the short end of the stick in terms of prison arrangements. she's not in some overcrowded unsanitary hole of a women's prison, she was the most politically powerful leader on earth for god's sake. she was put there by important people already in charge, people who would still want to keep in contact with her from time to time. no, she'd have her own nice, clean cell: a bed, a desk, her own bathroom. she'd be allowed phonecalls and letters and meetings, they probably wouldn't allow her unmonitored internet access but they would bring her newspapers and maybe even leave her a tv so she can watch the news.
but most importantly she would eat well. the food would be good. it wouldn't be anything restaurant grade, but it would be clearly something prepared for her. and she would look down at her plate and her brain would run leclerc's calculations for their global food resources and she would ask herself how many people in her world are going hungry because there's systems in place to keep people like her fed like this. and her throat would close around every bite.
Doesn’t everyone with access to abundant food do this anyway? Our world is in crisis now. You don’t need to be a Machiavellian genius to recognise everyone who gets seconds, metaphorically, is doing so at the expense of those who don’t get a plate (not literally taking food from starving kids in Africa, but their poverty and my relative ease of access to food are very much linked!)
Probably more like a farmer having to bottle-feed a calf that’s going to slaughter at the end of the year. She didn’t know Grace actually was being sent off to a loving home that could meet his needs.
we gonna talk about how recontextualized this scene is after chapter 5 (statement)
knowing that Kris does have feelings for Susie, and that Susie's ability to feel comfortable expressing hers depends in large part on reciprocity
their respective body language makes so much sense:
Kris doesn't feel like they can/should express their feelings for Susie but they want to, so they take a step back but don't actually let go once they've gotten that close, while Susie leans forward at the same time as they lean back
Susie, mistaking Kris pulling her close for reciprocal desire (in this case, to also want to bite her hair lol like she wants to bite theirs) (because they aren't normal) tries to close the distance further
and she's actually really upset that Kris rejects that advance when she thought it was something they initiated!
so Susie would want to be pulled closer by Kris and would lean into it if they did, but Kris, pulling her closer than they were supposed to, doesn't feel like they can take a step forward but also can't bring themself to let go. and if she took that final step forward they'd be screwed.
