Two Mommies

Mom. Wife. Lesbian. Software Engineer.

[amerlcanapparel-deactivated2020]

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

[straighthater]

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

[timelordpillbug]

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

[hikingnerd]

When Russia sends you nudes

[dr-thackery]

[dismantlerepaired]

[ilovepretzelrods]

[thegingerbalrog]

[onwardwall]

[miss-jaxon-flaxon-waxon]

#what the fuck happened here

[dankmemeuniversity]

[griffstream]

Cosmic alignment…

[screechingcollectivecollectorus]

Fuck all of the good luck posts out there. Reblog this to immaculate your vibes

[nickyandmikey]

DOLLY PARTON in NINE TO FIVE (1980) dir. Colin Higgins

[cannibalchicken]

[audliminal]

Me meeting a genie: Okay, so my first wish is for 1000 dollars a day, deposited to my bank account without any way of tracing it to anything illegal. I want this money to come from the ten richest people in America (100 dollars each), withdrawn under the guise of nebulous, random purchases and surcharges. It would probably be best to split the money into a myriad of smaller fees, though, to reduce the likelihood of anyone noticing. Got all that?

Genie: um

Me, continuing on without a care: For my SECOND wish, I want you to give me the ability to learn any given phoneme, so that I can learn to pronounce new languages perfectly. If you're willing, it'd be nice if it were a little easier to memorize new languages too, but if that's not cool, I'm perfectly fine doing all the legwork myself I mostly just want to be capable of pronouncing things correctly.

Genie, now staring at me like I'm insane: ......okaaayyy?....

Me: For my third wish. I want to always have great ideas for gifts for people. Every birthday, every holiday, I want to be able to come up with something they'd really like, with enough time to actually get it for them.

Genie, just staring at me

Me: I can provide you with a written document if that would help.

[filmtribv]

Grace Hanson in Grace & Frankie 1.01 & 1.02

[buttholewitchcraft]

[cumbursted]

rachel knows

[mercedesbenzodiazepine]

Get this out of my face I’m dead serious

[glowbot]

posts about ADHD have no business being 2k words some of us are unmedicated

[menaceexpress]

the adhd impulse to ramble versus the adhd inability to read big blocks of text….. unstoppable force meets immovable object

[f1rstperson]

[gaynfl-moved]

saw a picture of the terrorists storming the capitol right now and one of them was holding a “jesus saves” poster and i think it’s time we have the conversation about christian terrorism in the united states

[elizabitchtaylor-deactivated202]

Dolly Parton onstage, 1970

[sharkboyandlizardgirl]

What do they want her to do, force feed Michael Myers Activia until he shits himself to death?

[jamieleeofficial]

i do whatever the fuck i want to do

[studentlifeproblems]

[12345qwerti]

interviewer: describe yourself in 4 words me: automatic, supersonic, hypnotic, funky-fresh interviewer: hired

[kamikazesoundsociety]

[kamikazesoundsociety]

We have always been here. 

Vintage MLM love photography post

Vintage WLW love photography post

Please add more if you have them <3 

[reddietrashmouth]

❤️

[bigyoikes]

Pictures from back in the gay

[mackerly-monspop]

I’ll add this one

[ding-dong-the-bitch-is-dead]

@blackkatmagic

[devilishxher]

It’s true.

[adeles]

🎃 Happy Halloween! 🎃

[understands]