I saw some people talking about the possible transphobic implication of Her (Troye with the grey wig) on Twitter. I will say that as a cisperson I don't think I can really speak out on what is or not transphobic, but even though I love Troye and I really love gender bending and non-conformity, I do think it might have become a little insensitive after the repetition. I was just reading some tweets in the GoodCisPeople hashtag and it made me see we could all learn to be better Allies, even Troye.
I actually have a very strong opinion on this, and it’s not one that matches yours. It’s kind of a complex subject though, so sorry this is so long. There are two worlds being discussed here, the transgender community and the drag community. Both communities have been around for years and years and years, and they’re both a big part of the greater LGBTQ community. They’re also completely separate, and if anything, polar opposites.
On one hand, transgender people tend to take their own identities very seriously, which makes sense when half the world gives them all kinds of shit for simply being themselves. Pronouns tend to matter a lot to them, and recognition tends to matter a lot to them, and that’s completely fine and absolutely understandable. They 100% should be respected in every way, whether it’s through the pronouns they want to be called by or anything else.
Drag, on the other hand, is a mockery of gender. It’s people who don’t take their own gender very seriously and like to mess around with it for fun, because what is gender in the end? It’s a social construct. Drag can be really theatrical, like full on performances, or it can be a lot more minimal, like cis gay guys calling themselves “she.” It isn’t about invalidating people’s own gender identities, or mocking them. All it boils down to is people pretending to be other genders for their own enjoyment. That is also completely fine and completely understandable. They should be allowed to mess with gender as much as they like.
The problem arises when people in drag are actually lowkey transphobic or misogynistic or something else along those lines. If someone’s calling himself “she” because he thinks girls are lesser and easy to make fun of, that’s problematic. If someone is dressing herself up as a boy because she thinks transgender people are annoying and wants to play off of that, that’s problematic. The drag in and of itself is fine. A wholehearted feminist and trans ally can do drag or fuck around with their own pronouns without compromising their respect towards women and trans people. Gender should never be used as a boundary or a box. So long as everyone respects everyone else, it’s all up or grabs.
