Tyoma :)

BPD ; obsessive. | Boy madly in love with his bf !!! #freethelion

[tyom-tsar]

My name's Artyom / Tyoma. I'm Russian, but no longer live there. I'm part of a DID system, but this is my personal account and whatever information is shared here is about **me**, not the entire system, except for age.

**We're bodily 16**, and suffer from a cluster of things, but this account will mainly be used as a vent / safe space. I have BPD, and my current fp is my boyfriend. I struggle with self harm, but I'm currently 2 months clean. My anxiety is really really bad, but I do hope to meet a lot of great people :)! I've converted to being Muslim recently, so tweets about religion might be posted, too.

**DMs very open**, but I tend to be weird and anxious, and can rarely hold conversations. (which isn't ever your fault, I just have insanely bad social anxiety LOL).

I'm really into video-games(Minecraft ; Don't starve ; SDV ; Go go town ; Slime Rancher ; Travellers Rest, to name a few!), and art, every now and again, but I wouldn't say I'm too good at it, crime cases, and horror stuff.

DNI: homophobes/transphobes/racists ; NSFW accounts ; endos ; anti progresive islam cuz i'm literally gay LMAO

[tyom-tsar]

Woww life is just so disappointing. Does anyone else feel that way?

I try to get better, I try to change behavior i dislike at me, I try to do stuff differently and yet none of it is satisfying. I try to get worse, and that doesn't do it either. New stuffs lame, old stuffs boring except for a distinct few things.

[catch-a-monster]

Dzhokhar Tsarnaev

[tyom-tsar]

so basically i wanna fuck this guy badly

[tyom-tsar]

Officially, I made this account 2 years ago and started using it a year ago... Time really does fly, but i can't say it improved much at all.

[tyom-tsar]

I try to cheer myself up by thinking "well, who would I be without all this trauma?? I wouldn't be as funny!!". And then I sob. Like yeah, maybe I wouldn't be this funny but I'd feel whole for the first time in my life lol

[tyom-tsar]

I could recognize you from hundreds of photos. Photos where you're barely in the photo. Photos of your back turned. I know every strand of hair on that head of yours. I follow every account you've ever made. I know every single thing you've written about any topic you're interested in. There's not one person on this Earth that could love you as much as I do.

[tyom-tsar]

Every single time I think I'm at my lowest I just keep going lower, and lower, and lower.

[tyom-tsar]

Life feels so empty, and then sometimes a good few 4 hours hit me like a truck, and then it's emotional static again for another 2 months.

[tyom-tsar]

I love my boyfriend a lot, and in retrospect, he's worth it, 100%. Worth it over my lw, worth it over getting to my goal weight, worth it over feeling some sense of superiority as I see the numbers go down. So why do I still continue to do this?

[tyom-tsar]

Somehow unless I'm at an all time high, it always feels like I'm at the absolute lowest. There's no in between.

[tyom-tsar]

HII TYOMA UR BACK :D

also my vent/jirai blog got termed a while ago lmao 😭

HALLO FINNY!! :DDD fav moot </3 I missed you the most out of everyone 😭😭 i'll have to follow you everywhere soon :33

[tyom-tsar]

My ed is ruining my life, I'm really sorry to anyone who might see this :(. I try to post as much as I can, but I exams and life in general are really kicking my ass atm!!

[tyom-tsar]

Everytime I'm at my lowest, everyone around me freezes. Somehow the only advice there is for me is that "it'll get better". When? When is this "better"?? Why did it not happen to me yet?? What am I doing wrong??

[tyom-tsar]

Okay, you slept for a few hours and that's why you couldn't message me.... so you hate me is what I'm understanding??

[professionallyunstable-deactiva]

the devil couldn’t reach me so he made me feel like i dont belong anywhere

[imawitchywitch]

Me, doing my silly little crafts, trying not to fall into a hopeless abyss:

[tyom-tsar]

"Why are you acting like ___?" because it's a symptom of a disorder I told you I have. "Well, my other friend who has __ doesn't act like you do." ..Okay?