𝑎 𝑚𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑝𝑜 𝑑𝑢𝑚𝑝

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@typewriterings
𝑎 𝑚𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑝𝑜 𝑑𝑢𝑚𝑝
characters who are undead. characters who die in the end and so they've been dead from the start. characters who are chased by death. characters that chase death. characters who died and came back to life. characters that die again and again and again. characters who consider their past self dead. characters who were born in someone else's corpse. characters that claw their way out of the grave. characters whose deaths leave such a gaping wound that even their absence is still a presence. characters who are emissaries of death. characters who are alive but consider themselves dead. characters whose deaths are ambiguous. characters whose existences are defined by death.
the dichotomy between an attack dog vs a guard dog is like. an attack dog is sent out to carry out violence. it's starved and abused to ensure aggression. it has no other purpose outside of Attacking at the whim of its master. it's constantly on guard because a threat can come from any direction at any time. it's the dog chained up in a basement that's only set loose when there's something to kill.
but a guard dog is protecting instead of attacking. instead of being sent out to fight, it comes home to defend the house. it may be constantly on watch for an external threat, but it is content to lay with the sheep until a wolf comes to the door. the guard dog has a warm place to sleep, and is well fed and treated like a member of the household. it's free to leave at any time but it stays to protect the house anyway. do u get it. do u understand.
can’t sleep, I’m thinking about my WIP and my specific affinity for stories in which the world is not or cannot be saved, and in which shouldering the duty to save the world can itself become the very force that assures its destruction.
at what point may the hero say that he has succeeded at “saving the world”? at what point is he free to lay that burden down and relinquish responsibility for its salvation? what does he do when it cannot be saved forever, or perfectly? has he saved the world when an existential threat has been vanquished, or when injustice has been corrected, or when utopia has been established? how much power may he attain before his efforts to save the world cease to be heroic and become tyrannical?
say that the hero takes up the sword of justice and sets out to vanquish evil, only to find that new evils generate themselves at every turn, forever. when is he permitted to give up—before or after his capacity to correct them is exhausted? is the hero who sheathes his sword and permits evil and injustice to flourish more or less flawed than the hero who never puts his sword away?
I like enemies to lovers in theory but I could never. I would wake up in the middle of the night with them sleeping peacefully next to me and then bonk them on the head like “fuck you again for what you did to me on April 17th of 2017.”
MY MEMORY LOVES YOU.
jonathan carroll // margarita karapanou // jean-paul sartre // fatima aamer bilal // x // we are the dirt // x // the wedding date // haruki murakami // richard siken // x // angel a.g. // beau taplin // ryan o’connell // akhira // sylvia plath
I FELT YOU LEAVING, EVEN BEFORE YOU DID
“My Love, My Love, My Love, Why Have You Left Me Alone?”, poem by Delmore Schwartz; // “In Legends”, song by Rachel Rose Mitchell; // post by @annedreeuhhh; // Post on reddit by @ShireSearcher.; // Poem by a.s (unknown); // “Empty bed” (2012), poem by @Chi-742; // Poem by a.s (unknown); // Poem by Sue Zhao; // “Don’t Leave Me Now” (1957), by Elvis Presley; // Post by @endlessnamelesseternity
How many times can the same thing break your heart?
As long as you love it.
“as long as you love it” this really hit me
i have such a love for characters who descend into madness or villainy out of deep, deep empathy. characters who fundamentally cannot cope with the cruel realities they find themselves in and blow up about it in spectacular fashion. fallen angel type characters with tears of outrage in their eyes. characters who break before they bend, and break so badly they splatter blood all over their noble ideals. every variation on it gets me so good
? // east, edith pattou // cotton candy on a rainy day, nikki giovanni // little women, louisa may // go forget your father, cathy linh che // ? // molly mccully brown
longing for a haunted house
Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights // Maggie Nelson, Bluets // Mahmoud Darwish Memory for Forgetfulness: August, Beirut, 1982 (tr. Ibrahim Muhawi) // Margaret Atwood , The Door // Rebecca Makkai, The Great Believers // Cameron Barnett, A soft, indistinct sound // Ada Limón, Sharks in the Rivers // Richard Siken, Crush // Emily Berry, Dear Boy // Barry Curtis, Dark Places: The Haunted House in Film
i love characters who are always like fear not, i shall take care of this problem for you….. by sacrificing myself!! and everyone else is like i swear to god if you pull this shit again i’ll kill you
in the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk. their hands meet.
love letter to fanny brawne, john keats // orestes, euripides // wait for me (intro) ("hey, the big artiste"), hadestown // ghost photographs - doug and brenda, angela deane // les misérables, victor hugo // achilles come down, gang of youths // how to become a myth, nikita gill // romeo and juliet, shakespeare // lovers of valdaro // song of achilles, madeline miller // i will follow you into the dark, deathcab for cutie // planet of love, richard siken
Enough of the trope where memory loss undoes the damage or the corruption or whatever. More content where removing memories just removes the context.
The tragedy of needing to grieve and not knowing what or who you lost or why. The angst of having trauma and being denied the awareness that it's trauma. The suspense of being different somehow and left to wonder how and when. The tension of knowing that something is off and you can't find where it hurts. The Adventure Zone gets it. Kingdom Hearts gets it.
There is an aching inside you and you don't know how it got there.
obsessed with the concept of being haunted by yourself
maybe you were someone you hate now, and that person remains a cold hand on your shoulder that says you do not deserve this. perhaps you had to destroy yourself and become someone else to escape something worse - but now they hang over you like a shroud. you abandoned me. everyone did, but you - you were all i had. and you left me to rot. maybe the life you could have had was taken from you - and isn't that a death of sorts? - and now it shadows your every step. you keep moving further away, but it follows. there's a ghost after you, and it wears a frighteningly familiar face.
You've been here before, haven't you? Not this specific here, no, nor this specific you. That soul of yours is old, little Star, weathered and scarred but strong as ever. Your place in the cycle is inevitable, as always.
in the end, of course I forgave him. how could I do anything else? he is the other half of my soul, the very breath in my lungs, the gentle spirals in my fingertips, the pulse of blood in my chest.