Insert Witty Caption™

[quasi-normalcy]

Reverse Mulan about a young man who disguises himself as a noblewoman and has to learn how to do passive-agressive politicking at dinner parties.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

He does so to dodge the draft

[stillout2lunch]

Most recent progress pic of my glorious loon sweater. It’s a little old, it has sleeves now!

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[evilvillain123456789]

For this game of dodgeball, I will be specifically targeting the gayest and most autistic among you to eliminate. 

[mtfoss]

Okay so normal rules then

[mattsmemes]

[godlessondheimite]

“ice water makes you sick” “ice water gives you stomach cramps” i’m sorry if i have a hardy and oxlike american constitution but unless you have underlying health issues, the only water temperature that should cause adverse health effects is if you chug a gallon of boiling hot water that has also been laced with nefarious chemicals

[prokopetz]

It's fun when the robot character in the sci-fi show gets cut in half because nobody working on this type of media knows anything about robotics and you never know what you're going to find inside. Green printed circuit boards? Meat and viscera, but like in a weird colour? Just a shitload of goo?

[prokopetz]

I especially like it when the robot appears to have realistic musculature which operates via contraction, suggesting some sort of fluid-driven or shape-memory-based actuation, and then it gets dismembered and a bunch of random gears and sprockets go flying everywhere.

[prokopetz]

You're a sci-fi robot who just got cut in half by the Big Bad (don't worry, you'll get better). What's inside you?

Printed circuit boards (blinking lights optional)

Gears and sprockets

Endless bundles of wire

Some sort of translucent crystal

Meat and viscera in a weird colour

Random geometric shapes

The cut is mirror-smooth, like I was one solid mass of metal

It looks like... car parts?

I'm actually mostly hollow

Just a shitload of milky goo

Other (specify)

Cheese sandwich

Voting ended onJul 13

[teaboot]

I like to think my engineers foresaw the likelihood of my bisection and designed a clean break point with that in mind, leaving a small compartment filled with confetti

[coffeedragonart]

A handful of very confused mice and few spiders, who had been piloting me around like a jaeger.

[3000s]

dreamt that walmart was doing some kind of sale where they partnered with a company called "freevaginaphotos.com" and when i bought something they also printed out a picture of someones vagina and gave it to me

[o0kawaii0o]

Big Epona enjoyer here

[lakevida]

starts talking about my emotional state with 2 degrees of abstraction instead of 7 and the sniper across the street who i pay to keep me in line fires a warning shot thru my little hoop earring

[115x8]

wait can someone explain what this means to me I really want to know

[lakevida]

if i am candid about how i feel i will die like john f kennedy

[roboticchibitan]

So yesterday I was thinking about how femme clothes fit my sibling weird sometimes cuz of their lack of tits and then I randomly remembered this nonprofit that knits and crochets prosthetic breasts for cis women that have had mastectomies due to breast cancer (knittedknockers.org lol) and their patterns are free! So I am knitting them some tits which I find very amusing.

For those that want breastforms, the patterns are free. Takes sport or DK yarn. There's a DPN version and a knit flat version and a crocheted version. You can find them on Ravelry under the name Knitted Knockers but make sure you have mature content enabled

[dabblingreturns]

Tell me your worst crafting bad habit.

And I'm not talking normal stuff like being overly ambition, or lack of planning, not finishings

Tell me the stupid stuff.

I'll go first: I keep working with size 11 and size 15 seed beads in bed. And find them in my sheets when I'm trying to sleep

[microsff]

"My husband complains about the cold," the man said. "Can you teach me a spell to keep him warm?"

"I can teach you to bind hair into a net to catch heat," the wizard said, "using arcane counting and a pair of fine wands."

After a while, the man said "Isn't this knitting?"

"This, too, is magic."

[acornsandcarnelian]

Google show me weird perverted knitting patterns. Knitting patterns for masochists. Weird unsettling unnecessarily complex knitting charts. Hey google give me freak knitting ideas. Creepy sweater pattern colorwork free pdf download.

[twostepsfromtemerant]

when i look up a knitting term, the last thing I want is an ai overview. I want a 60+ year old woman with no understanding of lighting or helpful camera angles who still manages to give the most concise and clear explanation of how to execute purl 2tog through the backloop. ai summary fuck off, where is phyllis?

[wizardshark]

99% of queer discourse stops right before they define the true difference between bisexual and pansexual!

[saspitite]

FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME

BISEXUALS GROW FROM THE GROUND

PANSEXUALS GROW FROM THE CEILING

[elizapad]

Happy Pride, cave dwellers 🦇

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[whitachi]

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

[araceil]

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.