Welcome to the Danger Room.

[musashi]

Hey can you guys reblog Cheeseburger so he can take a sunbeam nap on lots of blogs. No other reason I just want you guys to see him.

[hardlyhinged]

I’ve seen a few mob aus floating around and it almost always has Ilya being a mob boss but I would like to posit the infinite more funny scenario of Ilya running the front selling kinda shitty sandwiches and Shane being the only customer

Like it’s an out of the way hole in the wall smear on the map but that’s why Shane picks it out in the first place, it’s quiet, next to the water, and open early as he’s on his way to the rink also the guy at the counter is HOT

The first time Shane comes in Ilya doesn’t even look up and just points him toward the back and says something in Russian, which really confuses Shane so he clears his throat and asks if this is where he’s supposed to order. Ilya kinda freezes then looks up and freezes again for an entirely different reason hot and has to scramble into some version of a service worker who’s desperately hoping this really fucking Hot man didn’t understand Ilya telling him to take the drugs to the back

Shane looks over the faded sparse menu hanging above and asks what’s good and Ilya blue screens for a second because he knows they don’t have half the ingredients listed up there, never mind the fact Ilya’s never actually made a sandwich here for anyone. So he goes with the simplest sandwich they have and puts all this charisma into hyping the hell out of This Sandwich because he literally can’t make anything else please just get the stupid sandwich please

And surprisingly Shane actually agrees, smiling at Ilya like he already trusts his judgment wholeheartedly, and when he asks if the have any ginger ale Ilya feels like even more of a piece of shit when he has to say they’re “fresh out” liar liar liar. The sandwich sucks, Ilya knows this as he’s putting fucking kraft mayo on cakey white bread and he’d kinda rather die than give the cute guy something so atrocious but he’s really out of options, silently cursing the abysmally low effort put into this front.

But Shane smiles anyways as Ilya hands it over and thanks him like he actually appreciates what Ilya did. Ilya nods and starts to walk away when he’s stopped by Shane telling him he still needs to pay him, holding his card out and Ilya kinda wants to scream because they don’t even have a god damn card reader so he switches back to maximum charm and tells Shane pretty boys get sandwiches for free which luckily stunlocks Shane long enough for Ilya to book it out of there and when he comes back to the front later the “store” is empty.

Ilya is, at the very least, proud of himself for getting out of that situation but also feels guilty as hell and hopes Shane doesn’t end up with food poisoning. He also decides they really do need to actually invest in the front and gets some better ingredients because that was wildly embarrassing and could definitely blow their cover if the wrong people show up. He also stocks ginger ale, just, because.

And surprisingly his efforts pay off because a few days later Shane is back. Not for a sandwich, because, let’s be real that one went in the trash after a single bite, but cause he feels wrong not having paid. Ilya, eager to redeem himself, tells him he can only charge him if he buys another sandwich, company policy of course. So in an effort to get the gross “stealing thief” feelings off him Shane relents and Ilya puts extra care into making something actually good. Shane is surprised it actually look appetizing and Ilya off handedly mentioned last time being a bad day, supply chain issues, yadda yadda, and he’s rewarded with that same genuine smile from before that makes his heart jump. As he’s ringing up the order he slides Shane a ginger ale and winks when he tells Shane he’ll see him next time.

Later when Shane checks he’ll see he was only charged one cent for the food (actually good this time), and so starts the endless cycle of Shane trying to pay Ilya who’s slowly improving the front to impress Shane and coming up with increasingly elaborate ways to undercharge Shane so he keeps coming back (all while hiding copious amounts of shady dealings, arms trafficking, and murder from the obliviously endearing hockey player who thinks he’s just found the perfect little sandwich shop with a stunning view)

[firstroseofmyhouse]

heated rivalry recs part 2 (part 1 here)

Teeth - the story of ilya rozanov as told by dental trauma, incredibly sharp prose that made my jaw ache in sympathy

sympathy fuck - if you ever thought about how quickly ilya went from "my dad's dead" to "hey let's fuck" and went huh, this is for you

nothing makes me feel as good - jj boiziau & his relationship with the terrifying creature that is shane hollander, really hits the sweet spot of shane's characterization as the guy who's so good at one thing that you either love him, hate him, or both

2.0 - people assume ilya is david's son more than shane, with all the heartbreak that comes with it

Decisions, Decisions - the slippery slope to 24/7 total power exchange, or as one comment puts it "Why did this FEEL like 22k of porn without there being ANY smut what so ever that's SKILL"

daisy chain - hanahaki, or the absolutely terrifying realization that if you get the surgery you will live but will you, really? if so much of yourself is caught up in one person?

crossfire - shane/ilya/marleau threesome that's just. so hot in that dripping-in-luxury-and-bad-decision-making way

advice from fools - shane hollander handles being a boyfriend (not ilya's) with uh. a certain amount of grace. which is zero. absolutely fascinating man

that'll leave a mark - i never get tired of "shane & the inherent violence of hockey" fics and this one also has beautiful outsider povs along the different fights

And a Sense of Guilt I Can't Deny - a yuna fic that made me ugly sob

A Longing as for Sin's Beguiling - the love triangle between you, the man you're attracted to and the man you've translated him as onto your desires

[fistfights]

Not enough praise for Hudson Williams for having to come out with the line “I prefer being the hole rather than the peg” and somehow make it work like that’s talent that’s range

[stormsthatrage]

Heated Rivalry AU where the relationship reveal happens because David Hollander's phone gets hacked and approximately 5,000 pictures and videos of Shane and Ilya being cute (both together and individually) get dumped onto the internet.

No accusations can be made about them throwing games for each other, because there are several videos of them being super competitive about absolutely nothing. For example, one of the dumped files is a video of the two playing Monopoly (filmed discretely from a hallway). They look about ready to murder each other. And then, off-screen, Yuna's voice - in a Mom Voice TM, of course - calls, "Boys, you better not be doing what I think you are!"

Ilya says, "Nyet, Mama," at the same time Shane says "No, Mom!" And in perfect sync they hide evidence of the game, not a single movement between them wasted.

There's also a video of them trash talking each other for being slow as they race to put away the most clean dishes from the dishwasher.

It's a whole genre. Play-fighting as they bring out a measuring tape to literally measure who shoveled the most snow from the driveway, bringing up hockey stats as they argue over who deserves to hold the tv remote, etc.

And, of course, Ilya isn't upset at David for the whole incident. Ilya is crying, though, because it's clear from looking through the photos how much David absolutely loves Ilya. It's so apparent through the captured moments how much David adores his second son.

[blacksheepcolorfulskin]

WHY IS THIS SO GOOD?!

[salmakiis]

russians do not blush

[ultrajubilee]

Target targeted ads are coming for me. All I see is Hollanov.

[mack-will]

""Ilya," he said, barely more than a whisper. Ilya didn't answer."

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[ariaste]

Ok since i saw this yesterday I have grown fascinated and gone on a deep dive. First of all, Kim Beaton invented that concrete-and-rubber-fibers stuff she mentions. It is called Pal Tiya Premium, and there is a whole youtube channel with all the information about how to mix it and use it. https://www.youtube.com/@PalTiya She makes a giant sculpture of The Great A'Tuin and Discworld with it!!!

Secondly, it cures in air alone, no oven or kiln required, and unlike clay it has microscopic shrinkage between wet and dry, so you can pack it around glass or whatever. When she says you can stand on this stuff, yes, you can (though for very large sculptures or very narrow sections of a sculpture, she recommends adding a metal armature for extra strength). It is impervious to water, so it can go outside in any weather, and any metal armature encased inside it won't rust

Additionally, Pal Tiya Premium can be added to at any point in the curing process, even weeks or months later, so you can make a sculpture in several pieces and, like with a mold, remove the foil core you sculpted on so you can use it again and again (though you have to add a sacrificial layer of foil between the core foil-sculpture and the Pal Tiya (see the videos on the youtube channel about it). You can color it with oxides, concrete stain, inks, or acrylics, including exterior-grade house paint so your sculptures can go outside.

Holy crap. My only question now is what am I going to make with this stuff, what do i need to have in my garden, aaaaaaa

[great-gatsby-deactivating]

every reread kills me a little bit more

[great-gatsby-deactivating]

reread and enjoy <3

[texasbama]

HOLLANOV + Kisses (Part Two)

[mulderscully]

Dreaming of what, bronze medal? You fucking wish, dude.

[intergalacticmca]

The way non-book readers are engaging with Heated Rivalry proves how big of a crisis media literacy is in.

I’ve seen people say they don’t understand why Ilya was treating Shane the way he was in Russia and it’s not clear in the show why he’s being an asshole to him.

Is everyone watching the show with their eyes closed?

It’s made clear by Ilya’s mood in the rooftop at the end of episode 1 that he doesn’t enjoy being in Russia. We do not see him crack a smile even once the entire time he’s there in episode 2. His playful demeanor is completely gone. He dissociates in several scenes. He barely speaks. When he’s with his father, not only is his father berating him for Russia losing, he’s also displaying signs of rapidly declining cognition as he forgets that Ilya’s mother is not alive.

We feel the suffocating weight Ilya’s home country places on him, and how miserable he is when he’s there, but he still feels like he can’t leave it behind, because despite everything he still cares for his father and he feels too much like a foreigner in the US. The show hasn’t gone into much depth about his mother yet, but his ties to her surely keep him there as well.

In the scene with Sasha and Svetlana, we see him so disengaged from two people he’s previously been intimate with. With Svetlana, she’s savvy and gives him a great pep talk regarding why he should shift his focus to winning the cup, but he doesn’t seek emotional comfort from her, and she doesn’t offer it. Sasha, on the other hand, completely ignores Ilya’s obvious signs of disinterest and dissociation to try and get a fuck out of him, and insults Ilya for not being fun anymore when he gets rejected. Everyone in Russia is trying to get something out of him and reject him when he doesn’t do exactly what they want him to. He’s clearly not doing well mentally and the only person who even asks if he’s okay is Shane.

Shane, who Ilya has already fallen for but knows he can’t have, especially not in Russia where his bisexuality could pose a threat to his citizenship and livelihood, is showing concern for him outside of the parameters of their established sexual relationship, and Ilya is simply in no position to deal with the implications of that right now. Ilya can barely look at him in the scene and when he finally does, it’s to fire the final blow that gets Shane to give up and walk away, but when Shane does, Ilya can’t help but watch him go. Ilya doesn’t know how to deal with everything that’s happening inside of him and everything he’s feeling, so he pushes Shane away. He’s in pain because he wants to touch Shane and go to him, but he can’t because of where they are. There’s frustration there because in Shane’s mind he’s just a friend offering comfort to Ilya, but to Ilya it’s way more than that, because what if someone saw the way Ilya looks at Shane and immediately figured out everything?

The show trusts its audience to read into the characters through the actors’ performances and all of this is clear as crystal through Connor’s excellent performance. This show is a goldmine of characterization and romance if you pay attention.

[shut-up-gwen]

Ilya: this guy is cute, I should start a stationary bike race so he knows I want to get sweaty together

Ilya: that didn’t quite work. Maybe I should just give him the eye? While I tell him I hope he likes his new city?

Ilya: okay. But surely if I make him drink from my water bottle and brush his fingers when passing it over…?

Ilya: call him pretty. To his face. No way he can miss that

Ilya: desperate measures, I’ll have to tell him I orchestrated this whole ad campaign just so I could see him again

Ilya: WHAT IF I STARTED JERKING OFF IN THESE COMUNAL SHOWERS?

[ultrajubilee]

Minnesota's state bird is the Loon. The Minnesota Wild, which is Minnesota's hockey team uses the loon call every time they have a successful penalty kill. This now has a whole new meaning. It helps that they also have one of the best Russian players of his generation.

[slyrivers]

I love this so much, I’m gonna start saying “nuts” we need to bring it back

[libralthinking]

I love b&w proper ladies breaking character with “sonofabitch”

[yooterus-deactivated20220126]

“OHH you’re following me, oUUhhh I didn’t know that!”