Untitled

Too Lazy to decorate my blog

[gimmiekiss1221]

shane: "i'm wearing that full length silky pajama set that you like"

ilya:

[penandinkprincess]

sorry I’m headcanoning a universe where #Yuna is an even more avid snake person, her and Shane bond over it and so everything is the same as the HR timeline except during the parent meet up after the cottage and Shane is explaining things to his parents by the door Ilya jumps a foot in the fucking air because SHANE WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A SEVEN FOOT SNAKE ON YOUR PARENTS COUCH WHAT THE FUCK and Shane is like oh that’s just Alfredo she likes the feeling of the couch on her belly

and Ilya has to make a choice if he’s going to marry into a clearly INSANE family (Yuna has like 13 ongoing habitats)

retribution for ilya calling them all boring for so long lmao

[junkdrawertales]

also all of the Hollander pasta snakes want nothing more than to climb on Ilya, who is so tall and warm and squishy. He considers that perhaps the only thing worse than a giant snake that hates you is a giant snake that likes you

[penandinkprincess]

the snakes are collectively referred to as "the pasta," which is for sure not confusing at all and didn't take ilya two times of interacting with them to understand that saying yes to, "are you cool with the pasta?" did not mean yummy dinner.

it meant. snakes. coming out. and existing around him. so much around him.

shane just has spaghetti, but yuna has alfredo, ragu, and pesto.

alfredo, ragu, and pesto LOVE ilya.

ilya wishes. they did not.

[penandinkprincess]

ilya trying to make smalltalk and also distracted himself from the way ragu REALLY seems interested in trying to climb inside his sweater with him: david, no snakes for you?

david, having a lovely time doing this puzzle: no, none for me. i don't mind them, but snakes are just yuna's thing.

ilya, thanking a god he hasn't spoken to in years that at least there are not more snakes he doesn't know about inside this house with him: oh, that's-

david: no, for me it's just my lizards.

ilya:

[manaphy]

thank u for being a cooler blog than me and not unfollowing me yet

[ultramaleficent-blog]

#To my followers

[parcai]

fixed it.

[gaygoatshane]

ilya and his future daughter

[h0lyshift]

The older i get the more i understand why some people become obsessed with privacy, not because they’re hiding something, but because being constantly perceived starts to feel spiritually exhausting.

[melyzard]

Did you know that soda machines at restaurants and movie theaters spy on you? That most common new cars now record your sexual preferences and send it to the manufacturer (and also data about anyone who also gets in your car, walks by your car, and maybe happens to be within visual range of your car)? That grocery stores are trying to force customers to download an app to scan barcodes on shelves instead of putting up prices, so the app can scan the phone, decide how much that customer should be squeezed for, and adjust the price? That more and more innocent people are being sent to jail for crimes committed hundreds of miles away because an AI facial recognition algorithm spit their faces out and the cops didn't bother to do the most basic of checks?

I am not uptight about privacy because I'm hiding something. I'm uptight about it because the people who dismiss my right to privacy are dangerous to you and me and our families, personally, all the time.

And often, they are assholes, too.

[scartafacci]

i could marry svetlana. since i’m like. not hearing any other volunteers right now 🙄

she would dooo🎶 it. unlike other people in this room who are like. not even offering 🙄

[gingerpolyglot]

Angsty idea where the Boxing Day fight leads to a breakup over coming out and they don't talk to each other for months until Ilya sees on Instagram that Shane Hollander's documentary-famous cottage in Ontario lake country is up for sale

Ilya barely blinks before buying it on condition of anonymity because he can't bear the thought of anybody else living in the home of all of Ilya's happiest adult memories but also he doesn't want Shane to know he's that pathetic

He goes to the closing and it's only once he's signed all the paperwork and been given the keys that it really hits him and he has to reckon with the fact that Shane sold the cottage, his happiest place, and maybe neither of them is coping with the breakup after all

He refuses to change the locks because he's finally in a place to look back and realize they both fucked up, and maybe they can fix it, and if they can fix it then he always always wants Shane to be able to come home

[warmfigure]

i am massively overdue for a very very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

[unlettered-heathen]

reblog to give prev a very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

[hr-rep]

Wyatt watching Shane & Ilya be “platonic”

[barbie-verse]

heated rivalry twitter (55/?) for the birthday anon who wanted more feral lily! shane didn't get voted the hottest man in the mlh on his own!

[shnehollander]

no one even edits cat ears onto grown men anymore

[penandinkprincess]

no but beneath the angst of it all, the club scene is actually SO goddamn funny

trying to get over your messy, complicated situationship having a girlfriend now so you go out for the night to get drunk and pick up SPECIFICALLY so you can get your mind off of him

only to gET THERE AND LEARN. THAT OF ALL OF THE GODDAMN CLUBS IN THE GODDAMN CITY.

YOUR FUCKING EX (WHO DOESN'T EVEN LIKE!! CLUBBING!! IN *YEARS* OF KNOWING HIM YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD A SINGLE WORD ABOUT HIM GOING TO CLUBS!! THERE WAS NO REASON FOR HIM TO BE IN A CLUB AT ALL!!) IS THERE DANCING WITH HIS NEW, BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND WHO IS FEELING HIM UP LITERALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

ilya rozanov, you have suffered more than jesus

[bipolar4autistic]

Can’t stop thinking abt my bad au #mybadau

[bipolar4autistic]

would anyone be interested in my bad long form au where Shane and Ilya meet in middle school and are best friends who are very codependent and when Shane comes out to Ilya he leaves off “and also I’m in love with you” and Ilya being Ilya is like. Well if he loved me he definitely would’ve said so because obviously I have made every possible move in the game of 4d chess to tell him that I am in love with him. So I must respect his boundaries. Meanwhile Shane, playing tic tac toe instead is like wow I’m so lucky to have my best friend Ilya support me. He’s a very good straight ally. I shan’t tell him I love him out of respect for his boundaries lest he think his gay best friend is a creep and also pervert. 🙂‍↕️ he shall never know.

And then Ilya has to watch seething with jealousy and rage as Shane starts dating and Shane has to watch with seething jealousy and rage as Ilya sleeps around and neither realize they’re doing this to get over being madly in love with their best friend. (Sighing dreamily) I have a beautiful idea in my mind for this au where they have a safe word for Ilyas suicidality that if he texts Shane that then Shane drops everything to sit with Ilya and comfort him and keep him safe from himself. Really beautiful moment I keep thinking about where Shane is at his rando boyfriends birthday and gets the safe word text and when he gets to ilyas place Ilya is like. I’m sorry I ruined your boyfriend’s party for you. And Shane (boyfriend made a public scene about Shane needing to pick him or Ilya; Shane didn’t hesitate with his answer) is like. I’m right where I need to be.

[bipolar4autistic]

Important to note in this au Shane is for sure 100% emotionally cheating on every man he dates and they all have a huge problem with Ilya and Shane is like (literally being carried bridal style by Ilya) 😐😑😐 he’s my straight best friend… what’s your damage.

[you-needajelloshot]

ilya would see a fan edit of shane set to juno by sabrina carpenter and get so hard he blacks out

[eonblueinmay]

Artist: moreloveforjm_ on ig

[madrasaur]

calling a cab